What a Reckless Rogue Needs Part 35

"Oh, Mama, when can we go see our new nephew?" Penny said.

"Very soon, I hope," the d.u.c.h.ess said. "I will have to consult with Wycoff, but this news will surely be all that he ever needed. A boy. I am so overjoyed." She pressed the letter to her heart.

Angeline closed the novel and set it aside. She rose and leaned down to kiss her mother's cheek. "Mama, I am so glad for all of our family. I am especially happy for you." It was true, but it was also true that the news was a stark reminder that she might never be a bride or a mother.

"Thank you, dear," the d.u.c.h.ess said.

"I wish to compose a letter to my brother straightaway," Angeline said. "Mama, Margaret, will you excuse me?"

"Of course, dear," the d.u.c.h.ess said. "I'm sure you're bubbling over and wish to express it to your brother."

"We will continue the novel tomorrow," Angeline said. When she quit the drawing room, she squared her shoulders and walked up the stairs. Under no circ.u.mstances would she allow herself a drop of pity. She would not do anything to spoil this wonderful day for her family.

She bit her lip, walked quietly into the bedchamber, and sat at the corner desk. She removed a sheet of paper and found the ink and the quill. When she attempted to dip the quill in the ink, her hand shook. She set it in the holder and told herself that she only needed a few moments to gain her composure.

She drew in air and released it. She did it again. Once more, she retrieved the quill, but her fingers still trembled. She set it aside, stood, and crossed to the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress, and the bed ropes squeaked, reminding her of that horrible night she'd caught Brentmoor betraying her. Her hand shook as she covered her mouth. Then she pulled out the drawer and rummaged for a handkerchief. She blotted her eyes, blew her nose, and took another deep breath. Then she walked to the washstand, poured cold water into the bowl, and bathed her hot face.

It was foolish to feel sorry for herself, but she feared that she would never have a husband and family because of what had happened with Brentmoor. With a shaky sigh, she supposed she wasn't the only woman in the world to indulge in a little self-pity. Of course she did not begrudge her brother and his wife. She was happy for them, and she was elated that the news had made her mother so happy. It was just that some days like today were made up of happiness for some and gray clouds for others. Sometimes it just seemed like a thunderstorm, and too overwhelming.

She had released the pent-up sorrow and felt a little abashed at her emotional reaction. But now she was done with it.

Angeline returned to the desk and managed to write a short letter expressing her heartfelt joy to her brother and his wife for the safe delivery of their son. She wrote that she was thrilled to be an aunt and could not wait until she could visit and hold little John. She wrote a few lines about the house party and the weather. Then she promised to write again soon.

She felt a little embarra.s.sed that she'd shed tears when she was happy for her brother, his wife, and all of her family.

One hour later Angeline sat in the chair applying her fan and looking out the window. A knock sounded at the door. Angeline thought it might be Penny, but when she answered, she found Margaret there.

"May I come in?" Margaret said.

"Yes, of course," Angeline said. She was glad that she'd bathed her face earlier, so no one would see the telling sign of a red nose.

"Let us sit on the bed like young girls and talk," Margaret said.

They both kicked off their slippers and crossed their legs on the mattress. Margaret eyed the handkerchief.

She'd failed to cover up well enough. "I expect you know that I became a bit of a watering pot after hearing my brother's news."

"I antic.i.p.ated this would be difficult for you," Margaret said. Her gaze flew to the desk. "Yet, you wrote the letter."

"After I shed a few tears," she said.

Margaret took her hands. "I knew you would manage to write that letter."

"I actually felt better afterward."

"When you allow yourself to be happy for someone else's good fortune, it will someday be returned to you. Maybe not the way you imagined, but it will come."

"I have been angry for so long," she said.

"You are stronger than you know, but I also suspect that you put up a wall to protect yourself. It would be a natural reaction after what you have been through."

She had not thought of it that way. Had she tried to push Colin away? "You are very wise," Angeline said.

"It is only life experience," Margaret said. "When I first married Chadwick, I was terrified. You are aware that it was a marriage of convenience. I was scared and furious with my father. I did not want to wed an aristocrat, much less a man who was twelve years my senior. Frankly, I thought Chadwick only wanted my fortune. I expected misery. That first night of our married life, he told me that because of me his heart had come back to life. I didn't understand until he told me that his first wife had died. I fell in love on my wedding night."

Angeline sighed. "I told Colin that you brought happiness and light into Chadwick's life."

Margaret smoothed the covers. "My biggest regret is Colin. I had very little confidence in those days, and I was young. I was also afraid of making a mistake, so of course I made even more. I didn't know how to approach Colin. I feared that he would think I was trying to supplant his mother, and so I was too careful with him. He needed a mother's love, but it was awkward. I think he resented me."

"You had just married into an instant family. It would be difficult for anyone. But he does wish to spend more time with his family. I think that will bring all of you closer."

Margaret smiled. "I feel certain that we have you to thank for it."

"He would have come to that conclusion eventually," Angeline said. "It just takes men longer."

Margaret sighed. "Angeline, you have sustained an emotional wound. It is natural to want to protect your heart in such circ.u.mstances. If you keep the gates closed, you will manage to avoid pain and sorrow, but you will miss the best of what life has to offer. Love is what brings us joy. There is no other experience on this earth to equal it. If you love Colin, let him into your heart." She rose. "It would give me great happiness to call you my daughter-in-law one day."

"I fear we will have to settle for friends."

Margaret smiled. "I'll tell you a secret."

"I'm all ears."

"I have a wager with Chadwick."

"Do you? How intriguing," Angeline said.

"You would not believe the fun you can have as a married woman. I very much want to win this wager, as I have my heart set on a ruby necklace." Margaret wiggled her brows.

Angeline smiled. "What is the wager?"

"I'll give you a hint. It has to do with love and family, and I might add I'm counting on you, Angeline."

"You leave me in the dark," she said.

"I think you will find the light."

After Margaret left, Angeline sighed. Tonight she was meeting Colin in the library. She could have suggested an outdoor walk this afternoon, but those always ended up being a group affair, and there was no question that they needed to resolve matters. It seemed rather furtive, but given the lack of privacy, they had little choice. Even an early morning walk might draw others.

She was, however, feeling more than a little isolated and decided to go to the kitchen and try to train Hercules again. Angeline meant to invite the twins to join her, but she heard the sounds of the pianoforte and didn't want to distract them from practicing. She figured the pug would enjoy some attention. They had not spent much time with Hercules this morning because of her confrontation with Colin.

When she reached the kitchen, the pug looked rather forlorn in his basket. Agnes brought some bits of meat on a paper, and Hercules wiggled his funny tail.

Angeline sat on the floor with him. At first she had to push his rump to the floor with each command, but when she added the treat, he started responding to the verbal commands. She would not be at Deerfield much longer, but she would show the twins how to teach him to stop and lie down. She ruffled his short fur. "You're a clever dog, Hercules."

She stood and shook out her skirts. Then she returned to the great hall at the same time the marquess walked out from his study. Her opportunity to make a difference in Colin's life stood before her.

The marquess frowned a bit. "Lady Angeline, is something amiss?"

His thinning hair looked a bit damp. He'd probably bathed after stomping around in the mud. "May I speak to you in your study?"

"Yes, of course, follow me."

He ushered her inside and shut the door. "Please, have a seat."

She expected him to sit behind his desk, but he sat in the cross-framed armchair next to her. "How may I help you?"

"It is about Colin," she said.

"Ah."

"My lord, I must be frank and tell you that I have been privy to all of your recent decisions about Sommerall. I think it is important that you know."

"Very well. Perhaps you could elaborate, as I'm unsure what your interest is in the property other than the work you've done up to now."

"My lord, I am more concerned about your relations.h.i.+p with your son."

The marquess's brows lifted. "What precisely concerns you?"

"First, I know he has a rakeh.e.l.l reputation, but there is more to him than that."

"I see. You have evidence of this?"

Angeline noted the marquess's slight smile. "I know he has not always been responsible."

The marquess nodded. "Yes, I distinctly recall him showing up late and foxed at your come-out ball. Has he recently insulted you? You may tell me, and I will have a long discussion with him."

"No, he did not," she said. The marquess didn't need to know every word of her conversations with Colin.

"Lord Chadwick, do you love your son?"

Her question clearly startled him. "Yes, of course I do."

"I know he cares about you, even though you frustrate him."

The marquess looked as if he were trying to hide a smile.

"He really does want the property, but it is not for financial gain. He recently told me he has a tidy little fortune."

"Ah, yes, the s.h.i.+pping investments. Odd that he told you about them."

"He had good reason at the time. Even if Colin doesn't occupy Sommerall immediately, I know that he intends to reside there and probably sooner than even he expects."

"How do you know this, Lady Angeline?"

"I suppose he just changed right before my eyes."

"That is interesting. I have noticed the differences, and so has Margaret. She believes you are responsible for his burgeoning transformation."

"When people change, it is because they want to change."

"I will share this confidence with you," the marquess said. "I forced him to make choices that were perhaps a little unfair but necessary. Sometimes a person needs a nudge. My son needed a swift kick in the- Never mind. I knew it had to be a threat of some sort. Prior to this house party, he took for granted that he would inherit Sommerall." The marquess sighed. "Not once did he ever inquire about the property. One day, Bianca asked me why Colin never came home, and I felt that it was past time to remind my son what he was missing.

"As it happened, Faraday came along to ask about the property. You know the rest. My son is as stubborn as I am, and while I've had my doubts, I am seeing positive changes in him."

"Do you mean you were not serious about selling Sommerall?"

"I was serious about a number of things. To be honest, I knew the only reason he made the journey here is because his mother is buried at Sommerall. I felt it was important to give him a chance to demonstrate he was worthy of the legacy.

"And I had my doubts. I will not sully your ears with some of his infamous exploits in London, but I grew increasingly concerned. Then he walked into the drawing room that first night of the house party. I thought steam would come out of his ears. That is when I knew he did care, but I didn't know whether it would sustain or not. So I presented him with one challenge after another. I needed to know whether he truly cared about Sommerall. By the by, my own father used a similar tactic to lure me away from my dissolute pursuits."

"I will never understand men," Angeline said.

He patted her hand. "That is probably for the best. Do you have any other observations?"

"Colin has shown his willingness to see that the house is properly taken care of and kept in good order. I know it would mean a great deal to him if you saw fit to grant him the property."

Lord Chadwick let out a loud sigh. "There is a complication."

"What is it?" she said.

"I think it is something that I must tell him."

She swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"

"Lady Angeline, you look very anxious. May I ask why you are so concerned about the property?"

"Colin can no longer remember his mother's features. We searched for her miniature, but we never found it."

The marquess frowned. "I see."

"I think he wishes to hold on to the few objects that are a link to her, such as the cradle and the rocker. I know it helped when you told him about her."

"It seems that you and my son have grown close."

"I believe that is not unusual when people work together. I hope the complication doesn't mean the Faradays are leaning toward the purchase of Sommerall. You would not like having them as neighbors."

"That is certainly something to consider," the marquess said, his mouth twitching a bit.

"Now I have taken enough of your valuable time," Angeline said. "Thank you for hearing me out."

"I appreciate your observations, Lady Angeline."

When she quit the room, the marquess shut the door and thought his son would be a d.a.m.n fool if he let her get away.