One Hundred Merrie And Delightsome Stories Part 36

"By my oath, dear friend," she replied, "I do not know what you did or dreamed, but for my part I recollect very well that this morning you indulged in the sports of love with much desire; I am sure that if you dreamed you did anything else to me it must be like yesterday, when you made sure you had given me the lamprey."

"That would be a strange dream," said he. "Show yourself that I may see you."

She turned down the bed-clothes and showed herself quite naked, and without mark or wound. He saw also that the sheets were fair and white, and without any stain. It need not be said that he was much astonished, and he thought the matter over for a long time, and was silent. At last he said;

"By my oath, my dear, I imagined that I gave you a good beating this morning, even till you bled--but I see well I did nothing of the kind, and I do not know exactly what _did_ happen."

"Marry!" she said "Get the idea that you have beaten me out of your head, for you never touched me, as you can see. Make up your mind that you dreamed it."

"I am sure you are right," said he, "and I beg of you to pardon me, for I did wrong to abuse you before all the strangers I brought to the house."

"That is easily pardoned," she replied; "but at any rate take care that you are not so rash and hasty another time."

"No, I will not be, my dear!" said he.

Thus, as you have heard, was the merchant deceived by his wife, and made to believe that he had dreamed that he had bought the lamprey; also in the other matters mentioned above.

[Ill.u.s.tration: 39.jpg BOTH WELL SERVED.]

STORY THE THIRTY-NINTH -- BOTH WELL SERVED. [39]

By Monseigneur De Saint Pol.

_Of a knight who, whilst he was waiting for his mistress amused himself three times with her maid, who had been sent to keep him company that he might not be dull; and afterwards amused himself three times with the lady, and how the husband learned it all from the maid, as you will hear._

A n.o.ble knight of the Marches of Haynau--rich, powerful, brave, and a good fellow--was in love with a fair lady for a long time, and was so esteemed and secretly loved by her, that whenever he liked he repaired to a private and remote part of her castle, where she came to visit him, and they conversed at their leisure of their pleasant mutual love.

Not a soul knew of their pleasant pastime, except a damsel who served the lady, and who had kept the matter secret for a long time, and had served the dame so willingly in all her affairs that she was worthy of a great reward. Moreover, she was such a good girl, that not only had she gained the affection of her mistress for her services in this and other matters, but the husband of the lady esteemed her as much as his wife did, because he found her good, trustworthy, and diligent.

It chanced one day that the lady knew her aforesaid lover to be in the house, but could not go to him as soon as she wished, because her husband detained her; at which she was much vexed, and sent the damsel to tell him that he must yet have patience, and that, as soon as she could get rid of her husband, she would come to him.

The damsel went to the knight, who was awaiting the lady, and delivered her message, and he, being a courteous knight, thanked her much for her message, and made her sit by him; then tenderly kissed her two or three times. She did not object, which gave the knight encouragement to proceed to other liberties, which also were not refused him.

This being finished, she returned to her mistress, and told her that her lover was anxiously awaiting her.

"Alas!" said the lady, "I know full well he is, but my husband will not go to bed, and there are a lot of people here whom I cannot leave. G.o.d curse them! I would much rather be with him. He is very dull, is he not--all alone up there?"

"Faith! I believe he is," replied the damsel, "but he comforts himself as well as he can with the hope of your coming.''

"That I believe, but at any rate he has been all alone, and without a light, for more than two hours; it must be very lonely. I beg you, my dear, to go back to him again and make excuses for me, and stay with him. May the devil take the people who keep me here!"

"I will do what you please, madam, but it seems to me that he loves you so much you have no need to make excuses; and also, that, if I go, you will have no woman here, and perhaps monseigneur may ask for me and I cannot be found."

"Do not trouble about that," said the lady. "I will manage that all right if he should ask for you. But it vexes me that my friend should be alone--go and see what he is doing, I beg."

"I will go, since you wish it," she replied.

That she was pleased with her errand need not be said, though to conceal her willingness she had made excuses to her mistress. She soon came to the knight, who was still waiting, and said to him;

"Monseigneur, madame has sent me to you again to make her excuses for keeping you so long waiting, and to tell you how vexed she is."

"You may tell her," said he, "that she may come at her leisure, and not to hurry on my account, for you can take her place."

With that he kissed and cuddled her, and did not suffer her to depart till he had tumbled her twice, which was not much trouble to him, for he was young and vigorous, and fond of that sport.

The damsel bore it all patiently, and would have been glad to often have the same luck, if she could without prejudice to her mistress.

When she was about to leave, she begged the knight to say nothing to her mistress.

"Have no fear," said he.

"I beg of you to be silent," she said.

Then she returned to her mistress, who asked what her friend was doing?

"He is still," the damsel replied, "awaiting you."

"But," said the lady, "is he not vexed and angry?"

"No," said the damsel, "since he had company. He is much obliged to you for having sent me, and if he often had to wait would like to have me to talk to him to pa.s.s the time,--and, faith! I should like nothing better, for he is the pleasantest man I ever talked to. G.o.d knows that it was good to hear him curse the folks who detained you--all except monseigneur; he would say nothing against him."

"St. John! I wish that he and all his company were in the river, so that I could get away."

In due time monseigneur--thank G.o.d--sent away his servants, retired to his chamber, undressed, and went to bed. Madame, dressed only in a petticoat, put on her night-dress, took her prayer-book, and began,--devoutly enough G.o.d knows--to say her psalms and paternosters, but monseigneur, who was as wide awake as a rat, was anxious for a little conversation, and wished madame to put off saying her prayers till the morrow, and talk to him.

"Pardon me," she replied, "but I cannot talk to you now--G.o.d comes first you know. Nothing would go right in the house all the week if I did not give G.o.d what little praise I can, and I should expect bad luck if I did not say my prayers now."

"You sicken me with all this bigotry," said monseigneur. "What is the use of saying all these prayers? Come on, come on! and leave that business to the priests. Am I not right, Jehannette?" he added, addressing the damsel before mentioned.

"Monseigneur," she replied, "I do not know what to say, except that as madame is accustomed to serve G.o.d, let her do so."

"There, there!" said madame to her husband, "I see well that you want to argue, and I wish to finish my prayers, so we shall not agree. I will leave Jehannette to talk to you, and will go to my little chamber behind to pet.i.tion G.o.d."

Monseigneur was satisfied, and madame went off at full gallop to her friend, the knight, who received her with G.o.d knows how great joy, and the honour that he did her was to bend her knees and lay her down.

But you must know that whilst madame was saying her prayers with her lover, it happened, I know not how, that her husband begged Jehannette, who was keeping him company, to grant him her favours.

To cut matters short, by his promises and fine words she was induced to obey him, but the worst of it was that madame, when she returned from seeing her lover, who had tumbled her twice before she left, found her husband and Jehannette, her waiting-woman, engaged in the very same work which she had been performing, at which she was much astonished; and still more so were her husband and Jehannette at being thus surprised.

When madame saw that, G.o.d knows how she saluted them, though she would have done better to hold her tongue; and she vented her rage so on poor Jehannette that it seemed as though she must have a devil in her belly, or she could not have used such abominable words.