The California Club Part 43

Zo gives a gleeful gurgle at my reaction.

My mouth continues to gape like I'm in mid-dental procedure: 'I can't believe I'm here! This is my fantasy!'

'Happy Birthday!' Zo cheers.

'Oh Zo,' I blub. Turns out my eyes are going to spill over before her cleavage.

She pulls me into a hug.

'What about your audition?' I m.u.f.fle into her shoulder.

'There isn't one!' she pips.

'You little minx!' I pull back to look at her. 'The whole thing-'

'Made up to trick you see what a good actress I am!'

I beam at her, overwhelmed. 'This is the best surprise I've ever had.'

'It's about to get better,' she winks. 'Wait there!'

As she darts into the registration nook, I step from the cab and gawp over at the jumble of elliptical boulders some sand-blasted smooth, others retaining their oyster-sh.e.l.l ridges set around a selection of rock pools and gently burbling fountains. The building they front peaks to a witch's hat turret and is painted icing sugar pink. It's like a cross between Bedrock and a fairy grotto, with a bit of Quality Street detailing (ye olde lamps, horse-drawn carriage motif) thrown in for good measure.

I'm dying to peer inside but already Zo's back with a key and a room map.

'I've just got to fill out the registration card but you can go on up, room 139.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes go, your present is waiting for you in your room.'

I get a present too? This is unbelievable.

I bound up a hillside driveway that would normally have me wheezing after one stride funny how happiness gives you so much energy. It's the building at the top takes my breath away all painted white with its three-tiered verandas and carved wooden bal.u.s.trades it puts me in mind of a Mississippi s...o...b..at. With a couple of dovecots tacked on either end.

I study my map. Room 139 is on the ground floor in the middle. I burrow down a corridor and then spy the door plaque that goes with the number Jungle Rock. Oh my G.o.d! This room is legendary!

I fidget the key in the lock and burst into a vast carpeted cave dominated by two king-size beds hiding beneath zebra print counterpanes. Though the layout is open plan the beds appear to have their own rooms. I sprawl like an animal skin on the one nearest the door and then hurtle into the bathroom. There it is the shower that cascades down the rough-hewn rock like a waterfall! I step inside and run my hands along the patchwork of lacquered granite blood reds, charcoal greys and muddy eggplants, all bonded together with concrete. I take a sniff of the Madonna Inn shower gel and then dance back into the main room. Which bed shall I claim? The one I've mussed up or the one over here by the-I jump back, freaked out.

There's a body in the second bed.

Chapter 33.

My first thought is that I've got the wrong room and I dart towards the door in a panic. But then I reason that the key worked and it's unlikely someone would be calling it a night at 6pm. Recalling Zo's words, I decide to check to see if the mound is in fact gift-wrapped.

Au contraire. It's naked.

And there's something familiar about the duckling-blond hair and freckly shoulders.

My heart swoons. It's Elliot.

'My present...' I sigh, in disbelief.

I tiptoe closer. Can this be for real?

I lean closer, so I can awake him with a kiss...

'SURPRISE!'

Sensing a stampede behind me, I swivel round to find Helen, Sasha and urgh! Elise colliding as they rush towards me.

'I gave you the wrong key!' Zo apologizes, bringing up the rear.

'We were all waiting in the other room!' Sasha pants as she slides beside me on the floor to give me a birthday squeeze.

'Elise, why didn't you wake me?' Elliot stirs, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.

'You looked so peaceful!' she chimes.

'I wanted to be in on the surprise,' he complains.

'Trust me, you were the surprise.' I think to myself.

'Well, Happy Birthday, Lara!' He reaches out an arm and coaxes my head towards him. My lips meet his soft, warm, sleepy a two-second taster of what might have been/almost was. I cringe, imagining the scene if the girls had burst in even a minute later me caught kissing a sleeping Elliot. Elise would have freaked, so would Elliot for that matter. It was all in my head. As if he'd offer himself to me like that. What was I thinking?

As Helen and Zo pile on the bed, Elise smothers herself over Elliot. I can hardly bear to watch. The only good news is that she's inadvertently snagged the sheet away from him and it's gaping all the way down to his fuzzy tummy.

'So whose fabulous idea was this?' I brazen, trying to summon up my former enthusiasm.

All heads turn to Elliot.

'I just remembered the name of the place. Helen made all the arrangements,' e shrugs.

'The lying and deceit was all Zo,' Helen adds.

Zo chortles. 'I was so good!'

'Well, thank you all I can't believe we're all here together!'

Elise nuzzles deeper into Elliot. I have to get away.

'So when do I get to see my room?'

'Now!' Zo leaps to her feet. 'Come on, everyone!'

'You'll have to excuse us,' Elise leers. 'We've got some catching up to do.'

Elliot looks far too exhausted for what she has in mind, yawning: 'What time are we eating?'

Zo gives me a look as if to say: See, he's more interested in his stomach than s.h.a.gging her.

'I've booked a table in the Gold Rush Dining Room for eight,' Helen informs him. 'Shall we see you down there?'

'Definitely!' Elliot nods. 'Both of us this time.'

I think I preferred the La Valencia arrangement.

As I close the door on Jungle Rock it occurs to me that Sasha should really be the one waving us off with a spear.

'What's your room like, Sash?'

'Do you want to see it? It's right here,' she offers, dangling the key. 'Zo's choice...'

'The Tack Room?' I read the plaque on the door.

'As in ponies?' Helen suggests.

'Well, riding crops maybe,' Sasha mutters as she swings open the door to reveal a blaze of red walls, red doors, red carpet, red sofa and red leather bedspreads. Bright pillarbox red. I kid you not.

'You don't get these at Laura Ashley,' I coo, stroking the scarlet hide.

'There's twisted rope on the front of the wardrobe,' Helen notes. 'Isn't it all a bit bondage?'

'Yes, I'm going to tie Sasha to the bed tonight with her own hair!' Zo cackles, reaching to whip off Sasha's baseball hat.

Sasha leaps back as if she's just been electrocuted.

'Are you all right?' I ask, slowly moving towards her like she's a startled deer.

'I didn't want to make a big deal. This is your day, Lara.' She takes another step back.

'A big deal about what? Am I missing something?'

'No, but I am!' Sasha heaves a sigh and then removes her droopy cotton sunhat. No hair comes tumbling down.

Along with Helen and Zo, I suck up all the air in the room with a sudden intake of breath.

'Your hair!'

'Where's it gone?'

'Did you have an accident?'

Sasha shakes her head. Gone is the swis.h.i.+ng sound. All that remain are soft wisps of silk curling around her ears. 'What do you think?'

Helen reaches forward and rumples her flattened hair to life. 'Very Charlize Theron.'

'You didn't do it for Ty, did you?' I wonder out loud. 'To try and make yourself less attractive?'

Zo looks confused.

'No, honestly,' Sasha a.s.sures me. 'I actually did it for Oliver. And for me.'

'Who's Oliver?' Zo perks up. 'Is he a hottie?'

'Oliver is a mountain lion.'

'Is this going to start making sense some time soon?' Zo frowns.

'I know it's only been a few days but I think I'm in love!' Sasha swoons.

'With the lion?' Zo checks.

Sasha nods.

'What about Ty?' I ask.

'Don't tell me Ty's a tiger!' Zo tries to join in.

'No, he's the guy who's been horrible to Sasha,' Helen reminds her.

'That b.a.s.t.a.r.d, just wait till I get my hands on him!' Zo growls.

'I may just beat you to it!' Sasha shares a knowing look with me.

'Have you kissed him yet?' I so want the answer to be yes.

'Has she kissed the guy she hates? What is going on?' Zo is indignant.

Sasha goes back to the beginning, first explaining how Oliver would get freaked out at the slightest glimpse of her long hair (hence the haircut) and how the once-hostile Ty is now her suitor. And she, in turn, his suitoress. Then she answers my question: no, she hasn't kissed him yet. They're still just learning to trust each other she needs to know that he won't get aggressive and snipey again and he needs to get over his fears that she's a diva in disguise.

'But I'd say it bodes well,' she smiles shyly.

'Well, don't leave it too long,' Zo cautions. 'When you get back you've only got one more night with him.'

Sasha's face falls. It would seem she's found her groove at Tiger Tiger and, judging from her expression, the thought of going back to how she was before terrifies her.

Helen takes her hand. 'Trust The California Club,' she soothes. 'By the end of the week your wish will come true.'

Sasha looks confused. 'But I've already got my wish, I mean, I found somewhere where looks don't matter.'