The California Club Part 54

We're back full circle to the thinking.

'Then one day Reuben got sick of me saying what I wished would happen for you all and suggested I do something about it.'

Reuben wraps his arms around Helen, looking proud to be a part of the scam.

'I can't believe it!' Zo mutters, still in shock.

'You can't have known what we were going to write, that first night on the beach.' Sasha narrows her eyes.

'I've known you guys for ten years,' Helen reminds us. 'None of you were out of character.'

I think for a moment. She's right. 'But what about Elise?'

'She was the wild card. I couldn't predict her wish but oh the joy when I saw what she wrote!' Helen gets a mischievous twinkle.

'What if she'd said she wanted to go paragliding!' Zo plucks a random alternative.

'It could have been arranged. Reuben's lived here his whole life, he has a lot of friends.'

I think faulty harness but it's too late for that now.

'Did you know Ty already?' Sasha wants to know.

'Just enough to know that he isn't as gruff as he might appear. It crossed my mind that there might be an attraction but there was no major matchmaking intended.'

'What about Joel?' My stomach flips. 'Was he one of yours? A plant or a stooge or whatever you call it?'

'Now he was pure heaven-sent!' Helen laughs.

I'm relieved at that at least. I'd hate to think he'd just been doing a job.

A young girl creaks on to the porch c.h.i.n.king a bottle of champagne and six gla.s.ses.

'This is my cousin Beth,' Reuben introduces us. 'She helped us with the logistics.'

'Just how big an operation was it?' I ask, imagining a whole team with high-tech headsets standing before a flas.h.i.+ng map of California.

Helen laughs as she hands out the fizz. 'Big.'

'G.o.d I need this!' Zo takes a pre-toast gulp.

I'd do the same but I fear I might choke on it.

'Everyone got a gla.s.s?' Helen asks. 'Okay then, let's raise them to-' She goes to make the toast but the words seem to stick in her throat. 'Reuben, could you?' she asks.

He puts his arm around her. 'To Elise and Elliot.'

'To Elise and Elliot,' the rest of us mumble, turning what should be an exultation into a dirge.

Beth looks confused and tugs at Reuben's sleeve.

'What?' He turns to her.

'It's Elise and Andrew,' she corrects him.

'Elliot,' Reuben a.s.sures her. 'Elise and Elliot. Sickening, really.'

'No.' She stands firm. 'She married Andrew.'

'Beth, what are you saying?'

'Martha said Andrew, definitely Andrew,' she insists, getting impatient that no one seems to believe her. 'She said they made a cute couple even though he's old enough to be her father. Elliot's your age, right?'

'Who the h.e.l.l is Andrew?' Zo yelps, looking ready to keel over with confusion.

'I think he might be a minister,' I offer in a daze.

'Andrew is her ex-boyfriend, the one from Carmel,' Helen a.s.serts.

Sasha grips my hand, pressing home the realization that Elliot is still a free man. I don't know whether to laugh, cry or faint but Helen looks like she might beat me to it.

'Helen are you all right?' Reuben steadies her. 'This is exactly what you hoped would happen!'

'I know, I know.' Helen' sits down, still looking sh.e.l.l-shocked. 'I really thought she'd married Elliot. I'm just so relieved ...'

She's relieved?! There are no words to describe what I'm feeling right now. Hot tears of joy sting my eyes, though I still don't understand the hows and whys. And I'm not the only one.

'Why do I always feel like I'm missing something?' Zo frowns. 'Can someone please tell me what's going on?'

Helen sits back down, still trying to get her head around the news. Then she begins: 'You remember Elise telling us about the guy in Carmel?'

We all nod.

'The one where there was some scandal,' I prompt.

'He's her uncle.' Helen reveals the secret at last.

We gasp.

'Oh my G.o.d!'

'Is that legal?' Sasha frets.

'They're not blood. He was married to her mum's sister. They'd never even met before she went to stay with him a few years ago.'

'And they fell in love, just like that?'

'He was having problems with his marriage, she - the aunt - was back in England on a visit and yes, they fell in love. Unfortunately for Elise, the aunt was very popular in the village and everyone knew the niece was coming to stay and so when they found out ...'

'Scandal!' Zo coos.

'Elise couldn't bear the shame. She's a conservative girl at heart and so she left him, came back to England and latched on to Elliot the right age, right job, no skeletons in his closet. He was her chance for a normal life.'

'How do you know all this?' I marvel.

'She told me.'

'When?'

'We've been emailing since they met. I mentioned to Elliot one time that I'd heard Doris Day had a hotel in California and he remembered Elise talking about it because it's quite a feature in Carmel one of the first hotels to allow cats and dogs.'

'So he put you two in contact.'

'Exactly.'

'And slowly you wheedled her life story ...'

'You know me!' Helen shrugs, cheerily. 'I like to know everything about everything.'

'Why didn't you tell us?' Zo humphs.

Helen gives me an enigmatic look. 'I had my reasons.'

I shake my head. 'I feel like I'm peeking behind the curtains at The Wizard of Oz. Who are you?'

'I'm your friend Helen. The one who wants the best for all of you. The one that wants to see you all as happy as I am,' she says and squeezes our hands. 'Or an interfering old busybody, depending on how you look at it.'

We laugh and hug her.

'Any more questions?'

'Thousands!' I laugh.

But number one would be: 'Where's Elliot?'

Chapter 40.

'Sasha, I just saw a coach pull into the parking lot please tell me you haven't hijacked a group of tourists to make up numbers?' I raise an eyebrow at her.

'Don't be silly!' she chuckles, continuing to unload beer on to a trestle table staffed by Reuben and cousin Beth (even though she's under age).

'What then?' I persist.

'Come and see for yourself.' She sets down the final bottles with a clunk and takes my arm.

As we head down the driveway, a bizarre hotchpotch of humanity begins to file past. A blonde in a skimpy white dress, a man in a gorilla outfit, a couple looking like they're going on safari, even one chap with a stethoscope round his neck.

'I didn't know there was a fancy dress theme,' I frown. 'Hey that guy looks like Paul Hogan see, he's got the full Crocodile Dundee clobber.'

'Remember the Reel Awards?' Zo appears behind me.

I spin around. 'You booked the lookalikes?'

'A select number I got Ty and Boris to help me put together a list of all the famous people that have starred alongside animals in movies and then I called to see if I could find a match that's King Kong and Fay Wray.'

Of course.

'Dr Dolittle ...'

It's all beginning to make sense.

'Meryl Streep and Robert Redford ...'

'Don't tell me! Out of Africa? They look so convincing.'

'Boris and Holy Mary did the make-up,' Zo grins. They're even bringing along some old movie memorabilia for us to auction later.'

'This one's a toughie ...' Sasha nods over to a beefcake in a loincloth.

'Tarzan!' I hoot. 'Wow, he's a big fella, isn't he?' The ground fairly thuds as he pa.s.ses.

'Jane'll be along later, she missed the coach,' Zo tells Sasha.

'I thought Cheetah was a chimp,' I frown as the next chap to pa.s.s us hoiks a toy orangutan into his arms.

'He was, that's Clint Eastwood for Any Which Way But Loose. Which reminds me I'd better go and set up the film clips.' Sasha bows out.

'We're having a kind of Animal Oscars,' Zo explains. 'Ty's put together a montage of all the moments where the animals out-acted the actors.'

'Hm?' I'm distracted as a das.h.i.+ng couple pa.s.s us. 'Is that ...?'

'Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant.'

'For Bringing Up Baby?' I gasp. 'I thought you slept all through that!' I laugh, recalling the Sunday we rented it.

'Most of it,' Zo concedes. 'But I remembered the bit with the leopard we're going to team them up with Stella later.'

'Zo, this is amazing! Look at you!' She's radiant.

'I forgot the last reel!' Sasha yells as she hares past us.