The Old Bachelor: a Comedy Part 16

BELIN. We'll put on our masks to secure his ignorance. [_They put on their masks_.]

SIR JO. Nay, Gad, I'll pick up; I'm resolved to make a night on't. I'll go to Alderman Fondlewife by and by, and get fifty pieces more from him.

Adslidikins, bully, we'll wallow in wine and women. Why, this same Madeira wine has made me as light as a gra.s.shopper. Hist, hist, bully, dost thou see those tearers? [_Sings_.] Look you what here is--look you what here is--toll--loll--dera--toll--loll--agad, t'other gla.s.s of Madeira, and I durst have attacked 'em in my own proper person, without your help.

BLUFF. Come on then, knight. But do you know what to say to them?

SIR JO. Say: pooh, pox, I've enough to say--never fear it--that is, if I can but think on't: truth is, I have but a treacherous memory.

BELIN. O frightful! cousin, what shall we do? These things come towards us.

ARAM. No matter. I see Vainlove coming this way--and, to confess my failing, I am willing to give him an opportunity of making his peace with me--and to rid me of these c.o.xcombs, when I seem opprest with 'em, will be a fair one.

BLUFF. Ladies, by these hilts you are well met.

ARAM. We are afraid not.

BLUFF. What says my pretty little knapsack carrier. [_To_ BELINDA.]

BELIN. O monstrous filthy fellow! good slovenly Captain Huffe, Bluffe (what is your hideous name?) be gone: you stink of brandy and tobacco, most soldier-like. Foh. [_Spits_.]

SIR JO. Now am I slap-dash down in the mouth, and have not one word to say! [_Aside_.]

ARAM. I hope my fool has not confidence enough to be troublesome.

[_Aside_.]

SIR JO. Hem! Pray, madam, which way is the wind?

ARAM. A pithy question. Have you sent your wits for a venture, sir, that you enquire?

SIR JO. Nay, now I'm in, I can prattle like a magpie. [_Aside_.]

SCENE X.

[_To them_] SHARPER _and_ VAINLOVE _at some distance_.

BELIN. Dear Araminta, I'm tired.

ARAM. 'Tis but pulling off our masks, and obliging Vainlove to know us.

I'll be rid of my fool by fair means.--Well, Sir Joseph, you shall see my face; but, be gone immediately. I see one that will be jealous, to find me in discourse with you. Be discreet. No reply; but away. [_Unmasks_.]

SIR JO. The great fortune, that dined at my Lady Freelove's! Sir Joseph, thou art a made man. Agad, I'm in love up to the ears. But I'll be discreet, and hushed. [_Aside_.]

BLUFF. Nay, by the world, I'll see your face.

BELIN. You shall. [_Unmasks_.]

SHARP. Ladies, your humble servant. We were afraid you would not have given us leave to know you.

ARAM. We thought to have been private. But we find fools have the same advantage over a face in a mask that a coward has while the sword is in the scabbard, so were forced to draw in our own defence.

BLUFF. My blood rises at that fellow: I can't stay where he is; and I must not draw in the park. [_To_ SIR JOSEPH.]

SIR JO. I wish I durst stay to let her know my lodging.

SCENE XI.

ARAMINTA, BELINDA, VAINLOVE, SHARPER.

SHARP. There is in true beauty, as in courage, somewhat which narrow souls cannot dare to admire. And see, the owls are fled, as at the break of day.

BELIN. Very courtly. I believe Mr. Vainlove has not rubbed his eyes since break of day neither, he looks as if he durst not approach. Nay, come, cousin, be friends with him. I swear he looks so very simply--ha, ha, ha. Well, a lover in the state of separation from his mistress is like a body without a soul. Mr. Vainlove, shall I be bound for your good behaviour for the future?

VAIN. Now must I pretend ignorance equal to hers, of what she knows as well as I. [_Aside_.] Men are apt to offend ('tis true) where they find most goodness to forgive. But, madam, I hope I shall prove of a temper not to abuse mercy by committing new offences.

ARAM. So cold! [_Aside_.]

BELIN. I have broke the ice for you, Mr. Vainlove, and so I leave you.

Come, Mr. Sharper, you and I will take a turn, and laugh at the vulgar--both the great vulgar and the small. O Gad! I have a great pa.s.sion for Cowley. Don't you admire him?

SHARP. Oh, madam! he was our English Horace.

BELIN. Ah so fine! so extremely fine! So everything in the world that I like--O Lord, walk this way--I see a couple; I'll give you their history.

SCENE XII.

ARAMINTA, VAINLOVE.

VAIN. I find, madam, the formality of the law must be observed, though the penalty of it be dispensed with, and an offender must plead to his arraignment, though he has his pardon in his pocket.

ARAM. I'm amazed! This insolence exceeds t'other; whoever has encouraged you to this a.s.surance, presuming upon the easiness of my temper, has much deceived you, and so you shall find.

VAIN. Hey day! Which way now? Here's fine doubling. [_Aside_.]

ARAM. Base man! Was it not enough to affront me with your saucy pa.s.sion?

VAIN. You have given that pa.s.sion a much kinder epithet than saucy, in another place.

ARAM. Another place! Some villainous design to blast my honour. But though thou hadst all the treachery and malice of thy s.e.x, thou canst not lay a blemish on my fame. No, I have not erred in one favourable thought of mankind. How time might have deceived me in you, I know not; my opinion was but young, and your early baseness has prevented its growing to a wrong belief. Unworthy and ungrateful! be gone, and never see me more.

VAIN. Did I dream? or do I dream? Shall I believe my eyes, or ears? The vision is here still. Your pa.s.sion, madam, will admit of no farther reasoning; but here's a silent witness of your acquaintance. [_Takes our the letter_, _and offers it_: _she s.n.a.t.c.hes it_, _and throws it away_.]