An English Garner: Critical Essays & Literary Fragments Part 41

Whilst my old Lord lived, his table was always adorned with useful Learning and innocent Mirth, as well as covered with Plenty. I was not looked upon as a piece of furniture, fit only to sanctify and garnish a feast; but treated as a Gentleman, and generally desired to fill up the conversation, an hour after I had done my duty_ [i.e., said grace after dinner].

_But now my young Lord is come to the Estate, I find I am looked upon as a_ Censor Morum, _an obstacle to mirth and talk: and suffered to retire constantly with_ "Prosperity to the Church!" _in my mouth_ [i.e., after drinking this toast].

_I declare, solemnly, Sir, that I have heard nothing from all the fine Gentlemen who visit us, more remarkable, for half a year, than that one young Lord was seven times drunk at Genoa.

I have lately taken the liberty to stay three or four rounds_ [i.e., of the bottle] _beyond [the toast of]_ The Church! _to see what topics of discourse they went upon: but, to my great surprise, have hardly heard a word all the time, besides the Toasts. Then they all stared full in my face, and shewed all the actions of uneasiness till I was gone.

Immediately upon my departure, to use the words of an old Comedy, "I find by the noise they make, that they had a mind to be private."

I am at a loss to imagine what conversation they have among one another, which I may not be present at: since I love innocent Mirth as much as any of them; and am shocked with no freedoms whatsoever, which are inconsistent with Christianity.

I have, with much ado, maintained my post hitherto at the dessert, and every day eat a tart in the face of my Patron: but how long I shall be invested with this privilege, I do not know. For the servants, who do not see me supported as I was in my old Lord's time, begin to brush very familiarly by me: and they thrust aside my chair, when they set the sweetmeats on the table.

I have been born and educated a Gentleman, and desire you will make the public sensible that the Christian Priesthood was never thought, in any Age or country, to debase the Man who is a member of it. Among the great services which your useful Papers daily do to Religion, this perhaps will not be the least: and it will lay a very great obligation on

Your unknown servant,

G.W._

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.

_Poor RICHARD improved, Being an Almanac, &c., for the year of our Lord_ 1758.

RICHARD SAUNDERS. Philom.

Philadelphia.

COURTEOUS READER.

I have heard that nothing gives an author so great pleasure as to find his works respectfully quoted by other learned authors. This pleasure I have seldom enjoyed. For though I have been, if I may say it without vanity, an _eminent_ author of _Almanacs_ annually, now a full quarter of a century, my brother authors in the same way, for what reason I know not, have ever been very sparing in their applauses; and no other author has taken the least notice of me: so that did not my writings produce me some solid Pudding, the great deficiency of Praise would have quite discouraged me.

I concluded at length, that the people were the best judges of my merit; for they buy my works: and besides, in my rambles, where I am not personally known, I have frequently heard one or other of my Adages repeated, with "as _Poor RICHARD_ says!" at the end of it. This gave me some satisfaction, as it shewed, not only that my Instructions were regarded, but discovered likewise some respect for my Authority. And I own, that to encourage the practice of remembering and repeating those wise Sentences: I have sometimes _quoted myself_ with great gravity.

Judge, then, how much I must have been gratified by an incident I am going to relate to you!

I stopped my horse lately, where a great number of people were collected at a Vendue [_sale_] of Merchant's goods. The hour of sale not being come, they were conversing on the badness of the Times: and one of the company called to a clean old man, with white locks, "Pray, Father ABRAHAM! what do you think of the Times? Won't these heavy taxes quite ruin the country? How shall we be ever able to pay them? What would you advise us to?"

Father ABRAHAM stood up, and replied, "If you would have my advice; I will give it you, in short; for _a word to the wise is enough_, and _many words won't fill a bushel_, as _Poor RICHARD_ says."

They all joined, desiring him to speak his mind; and gathering round him, he proceeded as follows:

"Friends" says he, "and neighbours! The taxes are indeed very heavy; and if those laid on by the Government were the only ones we had to pay, we might the more easily discharge them: but we have many others, and much more grievous to some of us. We are taxed twice as much by our IDLENESS, three times as much by our PRIDE, and four times as much by our FOLLY: and from these taxes, the Commissioners cannot ease, or deliver us by allowing an abatement. However let us hearken to good advice, and something may be done for us. _G.o.d helps them that help themselves_, as _Poor RICHARD_ says in his _Almanac_ of 1733."

It would be thought a hard Government that should tax its people One-tenth part of their TIME, to be employed in its service. But Idleness taxes many of us much more; if we reckon all that is spent in absolute sloth, or doing of nothing; with that which is spent in idle employments or amus.e.m.e.nts that amount to nothing. Sloth, by bringing on diseases, absolutely shortens life. _Sloth, like Rust, consumes faster than Labour wears; while the used key is always bright, as Poor RICHARD says_. But _dost thou love Life? Then do not squander time! for that's the stuff Life is made of_, as _Poor RICHARD says_.

How much more than is necessary do we spend in sleep? forgetting that _the sleeping fox catches no poultry_; and that _there will be sleeping enough in the grave_, as _Poor RICHARD_ says. If Time be of all things the most precious, _Wasting of Time must be_ (as _Poor RICHARD_ says) _the greatest prodigality;_ since, as he elsewhere tells us, _Lost time is never found again_; and what we call _Time enough! always prows little enough_. Let us then up and be doing, and doing to the purpose: so, by diligence, shall we do more with less perplexity. _Sloth makes all things difficult, but Industry all things easy_, as _Poor RICHARD_ says: and _He that riseth late, must trot all day; and shall scarce overtake his business at night_. While _Laziness travels so slowly, that Poverty soon overtakes him_, as we read in _Poor RICHARD_; who adds, _Drive thy business! Let not that drive thee!_ and

_Early to bed, and early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise_.

So what signifies _wis.h.i.+ng_ and _hoping_ for better Times! We may make these Times better, if we bestir ourselves! _Industry need not wis.h.!.+_ as _Poor RICHARD_ says; and _He that lives on Hope, will die fasting. There are no gains without pains_. Then _Help hands! for I have no lands_; or if I have, they are smartly taxed. And as _Poor RICHARD_ likewise observes, _He that hath a Trade, hath an Estate_, and He that _hath a Calling, hath an Office of Profit and Honour_: but, then, the Trade must be worked at, and the Calling well followed, or neither the Estate, nor the Office, will enable us to pay our taxes.

If we are industrious, we shall never starve, for, as _Poor RICHARD_ says, _At the working man's houses Hunger looks in; but dares not enter_.

Nor will the Bailiff, or the Constable enter: for _Industry pays debts, while, Despair increaseth them_, says _Poor RICHARD_.

What though you have found no treasure, nor has any rich relation left you a legacy. _Diligence is the Mother of Good-luck_, as _Poor RICHARD_ says; and _G.o.d gives ail things to Industry_. Then

_Plough deep, while sluggards sleep; And you shall have corn to sell and to keep,_

says _Poor d.i.c.k_. Work while it is called to-day; for you know not, how much you may be hindered to-morrow: which makes _Poor RICHARD_ say, _One To-day is worth two To-morrows_, and farther, _Have you somewhat to do to-morrow? do it to-day!_

If you were a servant, would you not be ashamed that a good master should catch you idle? Are you then your own Master? _Be ashamed to catch yourself idle!_ as _Poor d.i.c.k_ says. When there is so much to be done for yourself, your family, your country, and your gracious King; be up by peep of day! _Let not the sun look down, and say, "Inglorious, here he lies!"_ Handle your tools, without mittens! Remember that _The cat in glove catches no mice!_ as _Poor RICHARD_ says.

'Tis true there is much to be done; and perhaps you are weak handed; but stick to it steadily! and you will see great effects, For _Constant dropping wears away stones_, and _By diligence and patience, the mouse ate in two the cable_, and _little strokes fell great oaks_; as _Poor RICHARD_ says in his _Almanac_, the year I cannot, just now, remember.

Methinks, I hear some of you say, "Must a man afford himself no leisure?"

I will tell thee, my friend! what _Poor RICHARD_ says.

_Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure! and Since thou art not sure of a minute, throw not away an hour!_

Leisure is time for doing something useful. This leisure the diligent man will obtain; but the lazy man never. So that, as _Poor RICHARD_ says, _A life of leisure, and a life of laziness are two things_. Do you imagine that Sloth will afford you more comfort than Labour? No! for as _Poor RICHARD_ says, _Trouble springs from idleness, and grievous toil from needless ease. Many without labour, would live by their Wits only; but they'll break, for want of Stock_ [_i.e._, Capital]. Whereas Industry gives comfort, and plenty, and respect. _Fly Pleasures! and they'll follow you! The diligent spinner has a large s.h.i.+ft_, and

_Now I have a sheep and a cow Everybody bids me "Good morrow."_

All which is well said by _Poor RICHARD_.

But with our Industry; we must likewise be Steady, Settled, and Careful: and oversee our own affairs _with our own eyes_, and not trust too much to others. For, as _Poor RICHARD_ says,

_I never saw an oft removed tree, Nor yet an oft removed family, That throve so well, as those that settled be_.

And again, _Three Removes are as bad as a Fire;_ and again _Keep thy shop! and thy shop will keep thee!_ and again, _If you would have your business done, go! if not, send!_ and again,

_He that by the plough would thrive; Himself must either hold or drive_.

And again, _The Eye of the master will do more work than both his Hands;_ and again, _Want of Care does us more damage than Want of Knowledge;_ and again, _Not to oversee workmen, is to leave them your purse open_.

Trusting too much to others' care, is the ruin of many. For, as the Almanac says, _In the affairs of this world, men are saved, not by faith, but by the want of it_. But a man's own care is profitable; for, saith _Poor d.i.c.k, Learning is to the Studious,_ and _Riches to the Careful;_ as well as _Power to the Bold,_ and _Heaven to the Virtuous_. And further, _If you would have a faithful servant, and one that you like; serve yourself!_

And again, he adviseth to circ.u.mspection and care, even in the smallest matters; because sometimes, _A little neglect may breed great mischief_; adding, _For want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe, the horse was lost; and for want of a horse, the rider was lost_; being overtaken, and slain by the enemy. All for want of care about a horse-shoe nail.

So much for Industry, my friends! and attention to one's own business; but to these we must add FRUGALITY, if we would make our industry more certainly successful. _A man may_, if he knows not how to save as he gets, _keep his nose, all his life, to the grindstone; and die not worth a groat at last. A fat Kitchen makes a lean Will_, as _Poor RICHARD_ says, and

_Many estates are spent in the getting, Since women, for Tea, forsook spinning and knitting; And men, for Punch, forsook hewing and splitting_.

_If you would be healthy_, says he in another _Almanac, think of Saving, as well as of Getting! The Indies have not made Spain rich; because her Outgoes are greater than her Incomes_.