Ragged Lady Part 41
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"Yes, she has," Miss Milray a.s.sented, noting the upward slant of the child's eyes, which gave his quaintness to her beauty. "He had fascinating eyes."
After a moment Clementina asked, "Do you believe that the looks are all that ah' left?"
Miss Milray reflected. "I know what you mean. I should say character was left, and personality--somewhere."
"I used to feel as if it we'e left here, at fust--as if he must come back. But that had to go."
"Yes."
"Everything seems to go. After a while even the loss of him seemed to go."
"Yes, losses go with the rest."
"That's what I mean by its seeming as if it never any of it happened.
Some things before it are a great deal more real."
"Little things?"
"Not exactly. But things when I was very young." Miss Milray did not know quite what she intended, but she knew that Clementina was feeling her way to something she wanted to say, and she let her alone. "When it was all over, and I knew that as long as I lived he would be somewhere else, I tried to be paht of the wo'ld I was left in. Do you think that was right?"
"It was wise; and, yes, it was best," said Miss Milray, and for relief from the tension which was beginning to tell upon her own nerves, she asked, "I suppose you know about my poor brother? I'd better tell you to keep you from asking for Mrs. Milray, though I don't know that it's so very painful with him. There isn't any Mrs. Milray now," she added, and she explained why.
Neither of them cared for Mrs. Milray, and they did not pretend to be concerned about her, but Clementina said, vaguely, as if in recognition of Mrs. Milray's latest experiment, "Do you believe in second marriages?"
Miss Milray laughed, "Well, not that kind exactly."
"No," Clementina a.s.sented, and she colored a little.
Miss Milray was moved to add, "But if you mean another kind, I don't see why not. My own mother was married twice."
"Was she?" Clementina looked relieved and encouraged, but she did not say any more at once. Then she asked, "Do you know what ever became of Mr. Belsky?"
"Yes. He's taken his t.i.tle again, and gone back to live in Russia; he's made peace with the Czar; I believe."
"That's nice," said Clementina; and Miss Milray made bold to ask:
"And what has become of Mr. Gregory?"
Clementina answered, as Miss Milray thought, tentatively and obliquely: "You know his wife died."
"No, I never knew that she lived."
"Yes. They went out to China, and she died the'a."
"And is he there yet? But of course! He could never have given up being a missionary."
"Well," said Clementina, "he isn't in China. His health gave out, and he had to come home. He's in Middlemount Centa."
Miss Milray suppressed the "Oh!" that all but broke from her lips.
"Preaching to the heathen, there?" she temporized.
"To the summa folks," Clementina explained, innocent of satire. "They have got a Union Chapel the'a, now, and Mr. Gregory has been preaching all summa." There seemed nothing more that Miss Milray could prompt her to say, but it was not quite with surprise that she heard Clementina continue, as if it were part of the explanation, and followed from the fact she had stated, "He wants me to marry him."
Miss Milray tried to emulate her calm in asking, "And shall you?"
"I don't know. I told him I would see; he only asked me last night.
It would be kind of natural. He was the fust. You may think it is strange--"
Miss Milray, in the superst.i.tion of her old-maidenhood concerning love, really thought it cold-blooded and shocking; but she said, "Oh, no."
Clementina resumed: "And he says that if it was right for me to stop caring for him when I did, it is right now for me to ca'e for him again, where the'e's no one to be hu't by it. Do you think it is?"
"Yes; why not?" Miss Milray was forced to the admission against what she believed the finer feelings 'of her nature.
Clementina sighed, "I suppose he's right. I always thought he was good.
Women don't seem to belong very much to themselves in this wo'ld, do they?"
"No, they seem to belong to the men, either because they want the men, or the men want them; it comes to the same thing. I suppose you don't wish me to advise you, my dear?"
"No. I presume it's something I've got to think out for myself."
"But I think he's good, too. I ought to say that much, for I didn't always stand his friend with you. If Mr. Gregory has any fault it's being too scrupulous."
"You mean, about that old trouble--our not believing just the same?"
Miss Milray meant something much more temperamental than that, but she allowed Clementina to limit her meaning, and Clementina went on. "He's changed all round now. He thinks it's all in the life. He says that in China they couldn't understand what he believed, but they could what he lived. And he knows I neva could be very religious."
It was in Miss Milray's heart to protest, "Clementina, I think you are one of the most religious persons I ever knew," but she forebore, because the praise seemed to her an invasion of Clementina's dignity.
She merely said, "Well, I am glad he is one of those who grow more liberal as they grow older. That is a good sign for your happiness. But I dare say it's more of his happiness you think."
"Oh, I should like to be happy, too. There would be no sense in it if I wasn't."
"No, certainly not."
"Miss Milray," said Clementina, with a kind of abruptness, "do you eva hear anything from Dr. Welwright?"
"No! Why?" Miss Milray fastened her gaze vividly upon her.
"Oh, nothing. He wanted me to promise him, there in Venice, too."
"I didn't know it."
"Yes. But--I couldn't, then. And now--he's written to me. He wants me to let him come ova, and see me."
"And--and will you?" asked Miss Milray, rather breathlessly.
"I don't know. I don't know as I'd ought. I should like to see him, so as to be puffectly su'a. But if I let him come, and then didn't--It wouldn't be right! I always felt as if I'd ought to have seen then that he ca'ed for me, and stopped him; but I didn't. No, I didn't," she repeated, nervously. "I respected him, and I liked him; but I neva"--She stopped, and then she asked, "What do you think I'd ought to do, Miss Milray?"
Miss Milray hesitated. She was thinking superficially that she had never heard Clementina say had ought, so much, if ever before. Interiorly she was recurring to a sense of something like all this before, and to the feeling which she had then that Clementina was really cold-blooded and self-seeking. But she remembered that in her former decision, Clementina had finally acted from her heart and her conscience, and she rose from her suspicion with a rebound. She dismissed as unworthy of Clementina any theory which did not account for an ideal of scrupulous and unselfish justice in her.
Ragged Lady Part 41
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Ragged Lady Part 41 summary
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