Berry and Co Part 25

"You should get up earlier."

"I thought I told you I was up and about at three."

"That doesn't count."

"Doesn't it? All right. You get up at three tomorrow and think of me all warm in bed, and see whether it counts. By the way, don't say you wear pyjamas, because I can't bear it."

Miss Doiran addressed our companion.

"Is he often like this, n.o.bby?"

I explained.

"It's not idle curiosity. You see, I'm editing a directory to be called _That's That_. It's really a short list of the few nice people left who aren't anybody: with just a word or two about their manners, failings, virtues, if any, and the attire they usually affect when off duty. It won't say when they were born, but why they were born."

"That'll sell it," said Miss Doiran.

"So you see. May I know now, or must I wait outside the bathroom?"

"I'm afraid," said Miss Doiran, "that you must wait outside the bathroom."

I sighed.

"If it is pyjamas," said I, "I shall scream."

Some geese hissed as we swept by. The noise was inaudible, but the hostility of their gesture was patent. Its effect upon n.o.bby was electrical. Exasperated to madness by the gratuitous insult, he made the most violent attempts to leave the car, only pausing the better to lift up his voice and rave at his, by this time distant, tormentors. His dignity was outraged and, what was much worse, unavenged.

"D'you still want him?" I shouted, holding fast to his collar with one hand, while with the other I strove to m.u.f.fle his cries with the rug.

"Every time."

I swallowed before replying.

"Of course, this is exceptional," I said weakly. "He can be very good if he likes."

Miss Doiran laughed.

"I believe you just dote on him."

I lugged the white sc.r.a.p out of the welter of rug and set him up on my knees. Surprised, he stopped barking and looked me full in the eyes.

Then he thrust a cold nose into my face. Almost roughly I put him away.

"I believe you're right," I said.

Ten minutes later we drove up to Flail Police Station.

I thrust n.o.bby under my arm and stepped out of the car. Then I turned to the girl.

"I'll be as quick as I can," I said.

"Right oh!"

Sure enough it was my dispatch-case. In some embarra.s.sment I described the ridiculous contents. Then I produced the key and confirmed my own words.

"I must say," I said, "you haven't wasted much time. How did you recover it?"

The inspector in charge looked grave.

"'E's a nice little lot, what took this case, sir. I shouldn't wonder if there was 'alf a dozen warrants out for 'im. As plausible a rogue as ever I see, an' as full o' sw.a.n.k as a negg is o' meat. Told us the tale proper, 'e did. One o' the kind as gets through by sheer nerve. Now, nine out o' ten'd 'ave bin through this 'ere case last night and throwed it away. But 'e's not that sort. Walks through the town this afternoon with it under 'is arm, as bold as bra.s.s." A 'plain-clothes' man entered and stood waiting. "All ready? Right." He turned again to me. "An' now, sir, we'll be obliged if you'll step into the yard and see if you see anybody you recognize. I'd like the identification to be regular."

Perceiving my chance of doing the thief a good turn, I a.s.sented readily.

It was my fixed intention to recognize no one.

I followed the policeman into a high-walled yard.

Variously attired, six men were drawn up in line.

"Do you see anybody you know?" repeated the inspector.

I did. _Standing third from the left, with a seraphic look on his face, was Berry._

For a moment I stood spellbound. Then I began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Go on, you fool," said Berry. "Indicate the felon. I admit it's one up to you, but I'll get my own back. You wait. Why, there's Kern.o.bby." The terrier slipped from under my arm and ran to where he stood. "Good dog.

But I mustn't play with you till the gentleman in blue boxcloth says so.

'Sides, I'm a giddy criminal, I am." He addressed my companion. "Will you dismiss the parade, inspector? Or shall we do a little troop drill?"

I turned to the bewildered officer.

"It's all a mistake, inspector. This is my brother-in-law. He must have borrowed the case without my knowledge. For goodness' sake, get these men away and we'll explain things."

The inspector hesitated, but n.o.bby's frantic efforts to lick the suspect's face settled the matter. Gruffly he acted upon my suggestion, and the little squad broke up.

In the charge-room we satisfied him of the sincerity of our statements and exonerated him from blame. To do the police justice, Berry was dressed more or less in accordance with my hazy description of the "thief," and it was my dispatch-case. Courtesies were exchanged, I signed a receipt for my property, and Berry, his effects restored, gave a poor devil, who was brought in to be charged with begging, enough to console the latter for his detention on Christmas Day.

A moment later I was introducing him to Miss Doiran.

"Thief and brother-in-law in one," I said. "A terrible combination."

Berry took off his hat and put a hand to his head.

"Whose reign is it?" he said dazedly. "When I entered the gaol it was King George."

With his back to the fire in Daphne's bedroom, Berry proceeded to clear the air.

"If any one of you four had a tenth of the instinct of a village idiot, it would have occurred to those diseased fungi which you call your minds that I had said I should want Boy's dispatch-case. But let that pa.s.s.