The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love Part 8

259. XXIII. OF ACCIDENTAL CAUSES OF COLD THE FOURTH IS, THE MAN'S CONTINUALLY THINKING THAT HIS WIFE IS WILLING; AND ON THE OTHER HAND THE WIFE'S THINKING THAT THE MAN IS NOT WILLING. That the latter circ.u.mstance is a cause of love's ceasing with wives, and the former a cause of cold with men, is too obvious to need any comment. For that the man who thinks that his wife, when in his sight by day, and when lying at his side by night, is desirous or willing, should grow cold to the extremities, and on the other hand that the wife, who thinks that the man is able and not willing, should lose her love, are circ.u.mstances among many others well known to husbands who have considered the arcana relating to conjugial love. These circ.u.mstances are adduced also, to the end that this work may be perfected, and THE CONJUGIAL LOVE AND ITS CHASTE DELIGHTS may be completed.

260. XXIV. AS COLD IS IN THE MIND IT IS ALSO IN THE BODY; AND ACCORDING TO THE INCREASE OF THAT COLD, THE EXTERNALS ALSO OF THE BODY ARE CLOSED.

It is believed at the present day that the mind of man (_h.o.m.o_) is in the head, and nothing of it in the body, when yet the soul and the mind are both in the head and in the body; for the soul and the mind are the man (_h.o.m.o_), since both const.i.tute the spirit which lives after death; and that this spirit is in a perfect human form, has been fully shewn in the treatises we have published. Hence, as soon as a man thinks anything, he can in an instant utter it by means of his bodily mouth, and at the same time represent it by gesture; and as soon as he wills anything, he can in an instant bring it into act and effect by his bodily members: which could not be the case unless the soul and the mind were together in the body, and const.i.tuted his spiritual man. From these considerations it may be seen, that while conjugial love is in the mind, it is similar to itself in the body; and since love is heat, that it opens the externals of the body from the interiors; but on the other hand, that the privation thereof, which is cold, closes the externals of the body from the interiors: hence it is manifest what is the cause of the faculty (of conjugial love) with the angels enduring for ever, and what is the cause of its failing with men who are cold.

261. To the above I shall add THREE MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. In the superior northern quarter near the east in the spiritual world, there are places of instruction for boys, for youths, for men, and also for old men: into these places all who die infants are sent and are educated in heaven; so also all who arrive fresh from the world, and desire information about heaven and h.e.l.l, are sent to the same places. This tract is near the east, that all may be instructed by influx from the Lord; for the Lord is the east, because he is in the sun there, which from him is pure love; hence the heat from that sun in its essence is love, and the light from it in its essence is wisdom. These are inspired into them from the Lord out of that sun; and they are inspired according to reception, and reception is according to the love of growing wise.

After periods of instruction, those who are made intelligent are sent forth thence, and are called disciples of the Lord. They are sent forth first into the west, and those who do not remain there, into the south, and some through the south into the east, and are introduced into the societies where they are to reside. On a time, while I was meditating respecting heaven and h.e.l.l, I began to desire a universal knowledge of the state of each, being aware, that whoever knows universals, may afterwards comprehend particulars, because the latter are contained in the former, as parts in a whole. In this desire I looked to the above tract in the northern quarter near the east, where were the places of instruction, and went there by a way then open to me. I entered one of the colleges, where there were some young men, and addressed the chief teachers there who gave instruction, and asked them whether they were acquainted with the universals respecting heaven and h.e.l.l. They replied, that they knew some little; "but if we look," said they, "towards the east to the Lord, we shall receive ill.u.s.tration and knowledge." They did so, and said, "There are three universals of h.e.l.l, which are diametrically opposite to the universals of heaven. The universals of h.e.l.l are these three loves; the love of dominion grounded in self-love, the love of possessing the goods of others grounded in the love of the world, and adulterous love. The universals of heaven opposite to these are the three following loves; the love of dominion grounded in the love of use, the love of possessing worldly goods grounded in the love of performing uses therewith, and love truly conjugial." Hereupon, after expressing my good wishes towards them, I took my leave, and returned home. When I was come home, it was said to me from heaven, "Examine those three universals above and beneath, and afterwards we shall see them in your hand." It was said _in the hand_, because whatever a man examines intellectually, appears to the angels as if inscribed on his hands.

262. After this I examined the first universal love of h.e.l.l, which is the love of dominion grounded in self-love, and afterwards the universal love of heaven corresponding to it, which is the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses; for I was not allowed to examine one love without the other, because, being opposites, the understanding does not perceive the one without the other; wherefore that each may be perceived, they must be set in opposition to each other; for a beautiful and handsome face is rendered conspicuous by contrasting it with an ugly and deformed one. While I was considering the love of dominion grounded in self-love, I perceived that this love was in the highest degree infernal, and consequently prevailed with those who are in the deepest h.e.l.l; and that the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses was in the highest degree heavenly, and consequently prevailed with those who are in the highest heaven. The love of dominion grounded in self-love is in the highest degree infernal, because to exercise dominion from self-love, is to exercise it from _proprium_, and a man's _proprium_ from his birth is essential evil, which is diametrically opposite to the Lord; wherefore the more persons who are under the influence of such evil, advance therein, the more they deny G.o.d and the holy things of the church, and wors.h.i.+p themselves and nature. Let such persons, I entreat them, examine that evil in themselves, and they will see this to be the case. This love also is of such a nature, that in proportion as it is left unrestrained, which is the case so long as it is not checked by impossibilities, in the same proportion it rushes impetuously from step to step, even to the highest, and there also finds no bounds, but is sad and sorrowful because there is no higher step for it to ascend. This love with statesmen is so intense that they wish to be kings and emperors, and if it were possible, to have dominion over all things of the world, and to be called kings of kings and emperors of emperors; while the same love with the clergy is so intense that they wish to be G.o.ds and, as far as is possible, to have dominion over all things of heaven, and to be called G.o.ds of G.o.ds. That neither of these acknowledge any G.o.d, will be seen in what follows. On the other hand, those who desire to exercise dominion from the love of uses, do not desire it from themselves, but from the Lord; since the love of uses is from the Lord, and is the Lord himself: these regard dignities only as means to the performance of uses, setting uses far above dignities; whereas the former set dignities far above uses.

263. While I was meditating on these things, an angel from the Lord said to me, "You shall presently see, and be convinced by ocular demonstration, what is the nature and quality of that infernal love."

Then suddenly the earth opened on the left, and I saw a devil ascending from h.e.l.l, with a square cap on his head let down over his forehead even to his eyes: his face was full of pimples as of a burning fever, his eyes fierce and firy, his breast swelling immensely; from his mouth he belched smoke like a furnace, his loins seemed all in a blaze, instead of feet he had bony ankles without flesh, and from his body exhaled a stinking and filthy heat. On seeing him I was alarmed, and cried out, "Approach no nearer; tell me, whence are you?" He replied in a hoa.r.s.e tone of voice, "I am from below, where I am with two hundred in the most supereminent of all societies. We are all emperors of emperors, king of kings, dukes of dukes, and princes of princes; no one in our society is barely an emperor, a king, a duke, or a prince. We sit there on thrones of thrones, and despatch thence mandates through the whole world and beyond it." I then said to him, "Do you not see that you are insane from the phantasy of super-eminence?" and he replied, "How can you say so, when we absolutely seem to ourselves, and are also acknowledged by each other, to have such distinction?" On hearing this, I was unwilling to repeat my charge of insanity, as he was insane from phantasy; and I was informed that this devil, during his abode in the world, had been only a house-steward, and at that time he was so lifted up in spirit, that he despised all mankind in comparison with himself, and indulged in the phantasy that he was more worthy than a king, and even than an emperor; in consequence of which proud conceit, he had denied G.o.d, and had regarded all the holy things of the church as of no concern to himself, but of some to the stupid mult.i.tude. At length I asked him, "How long do you two hundred thus glory among yourselves?" He replied "to eternity; but such of us as torture others for denying our super-eminence, sink under ground; for we are allowed to glory, but not to do mischief to any one." I asked him again, "Do you know what befalls those who sink under ground?" He said, "They sink down into a certain prison, where they are called viler than the vile, or the vilest, and are set to work." I then said to him. "Take heed therefore, lest you also should sink down."

264. After this the earth again opened, but now on the right; and I saw another devil rising thence, who had on his head a kind of turban, wrapped about with spires as of a snake, the head of which stood out from the crown; his face was leprous from the forehead to the chin, and so were his hands; his loins were naked and as black as soot, through which was discernible in dusky transparence the fire as of a furnace; and the ankles of his feet were like two vipers. The former devil, on seeing him, fell on his knees, and adored him. On my asking why he did so, he said, "He is the G.o.d of heaven and earth, and is omnipotent." I then asked the other, "What do you say to this?" he replied, "What shall I say? I have all power over heaven and h.e.l.l; the lot of all souls is in my hand." Again I enquired, "How can he, who is emperor of emperors, so submit himself, and how can you receive adoration?" he answered, "He is still my servant; what is an emperor before G.o.d? the thunder of excommunication is in my right hand." I then said to him, "How can you be so insane? In the world you were only a canon; and because you were infected with the phantasy that you also had the keys of heaven, and thence the power of binding and loosing, you have inflamed your spirit to such a degree of madness, that you now believe yourself to be very G.o.d." Upon this he swore with indignation that it was so, and said, "The Lord has not any power in heaven, because he has transferred it all to us. We have only to give the word of command, and heaven and h.e.l.l reverently obey us. If we send any one to h.e.l.l, the devils immediately receive him; and so do the angels receive those whom we send to heaven."

I asked further, "How many are there in your society?" he said, "Three hundred; and we are all G.o.ds there; but I am G.o.d of G.o.ds." After this the earth opened beneath the feet of each, and they sank down into their respective h.e.l.ls; and I saw that beneath their h.e.l.ls were workhouses, into which those who injure others would fall; for every one in h.e.l.l is left to his phantasy, and is also permitted to glory in it; but he is not allowed to injure another. The reason why such are there, is, because a man is then in his spirit; and the spirit, after it is separated from the body, comes into the full liberty of acting according to its affections and consequent thoughts. I was afterwards permitted to look into their h.e.l.ls: that which contained the emperors of emperors and kings of kings, was full of all uncleanness; and the inhabitants appeared like various kinds of wild beasts, with fierce eyes; and so it was in the other, which contained the G.o.ds and the G.o.d of G.o.ds: in it there appeared the direful birds of night, which are called _ochim_ and _ijim_, flying about them. The images of their phantasies were presented to me under this appearance. From these circ.u.mstances it was manifest, what is the nature and quality of political and ecclesiastical self-love; that the latter would make its votaries desirous of being G.o.ds, while the former would make them desirous of being emperors; and that under the influence of such loves men wish and strive to attain the objects of their desires, so far as they are left without restraint.

265. Afterwards a h.e.l.l was opened, where I saw two men, one sitting on a bench, holding his feet in a basket full of serpents which seemed to be creeping upwards by his breast even to his neck; and the other sitting on a blazing a.s.s, at whose sides red serpents were creeping, raising their heads and necks, and pursuing the rider. I was told that they had been popes who had compelled emperors to resign their dominions, and had ill-treated them both in word and deed at Rome, whither they went to supplicate and adore them; and that the basket in which were the serpents, and the blazing a.s.s with snakes at his sides, were representations of their love of dominion grounded on self-love, and that such appearances are seen only by those who look at them from a distance. There were some canons present, whom I asked whether those had really been popes? They said, that they were acquainted with them, and knew that they had been such.

266. After beholding these sad and hideous spectacles, I looked around, and saw two angels in conversation standing near me. One wore a woollen robe that shone bright with flaming purple, and under it a vest of fine bright linen; the other had on similar garments of scarlet, together with a turban studded on the right side with carbuncles. I approached them, and, greeting them with a salutation of peace, respectfully asked them, "For what purpose are you here below?" They replied, "We have let ourselves down from heaven by the Lord's command, to speak with you respecting the blessed lot of those who are desirous to have dominion from the love of uses. We are wors.h.i.+pers of the Lord. I am prince of a society; my companion is chief priest of the same." The prince moreover said, "I am the servant of my society, because I serve it by doing uses:" the other said, "I am minister of the church there, because in serving them I minister holy things to the uses of their souls. We both are in perpetual joys grounded in the eternal happiness which is in them from the Lord. All things in our society are splendid and magnificent; they are splendid from gold and precious stones, and magnificent from palaces and paradises. The reason of this is, because our love of dominion is not grounded in self-love, but in the love of uses: and as the love of uses is from the Lord, therefore all good uses in the heavens are splendid and refulgent; and as all in our society are in this love, therefore the atmosphere appears golden from the light which partakes of the sun's flame-principle, and the sun's flame-principle corresponds to that love." As they said this, they appeared to me to be encompa.s.sed with such a sphere, from which an aromatic odor issued that was perceivable by the senses. I mentioned this circ.u.mstance to them, and intreated them to continue their discourse respecting the love of uses; and they proceeded thus: "The dignities which we enjoy, we indeed sought after and solicited for no other end than that we might be enabled more fully to perform uses, and to extend them more widely. We are also encompa.s.sed with honor, and we accept it, not for ourselves, but for the good of the society; for the brethren and consociates, who form the commonalty of the society, scarcely know but that the honors of our dignities are in ourselves, and consequently that the uses which we perform are from ourselves; but we feel otherwise, being sensible that the honors of the dignities are out of ourselves, and that they are as the garments with which we are clothed; but that the uses which we perform, from the love of them, are within us from the Lord: and this love receives its blessedness from communication by uses with others; and we know from experience, that so far as we do uses from the love thereof, so far that love increases, and with it wisdom, whereby communication is effected; but so far as we retain uses in ourselves, and do not communicate them, so far blessedness perishes: and in such case use becomes like food stored up in the stomach, which, not being dispersed, affords no nourishment to the body and its parts, but remains undigested, and thereby causes loathing: in a word, the whole heaven is nothing but a continent of use, from first principles to last. What is use but the actual love of our neighbor? and what holds the heavens together with this love?" On hearing this I asked, "How can any one know whether he performs uses from self-love, or from the love of uses? every man, both good and bad, performs uses, and that from some love. Suppose that in the world there be a society composed of mere devils, and another composed of mere angels; I am of opinion that the devils in their society, from the fire of self-love, and the splendor of their own glory, would do as many uses as the angels in their society; who then can know from what love, and from what origin uses flow?" To this the two angels replied, "Devils do uses for the sake of themselves and of reputation, that they may be raised to honors or may gain wealth; but angels do not do uses from such motives, but for the sake of uses from the love thereof. A man cannot discern the true quality of those uses; but the Lord discerns it. Every one who believes in the Lord, and shuns evils as sins, performs uses from the Lord; but every one who neither believes in the Lord, nor shuns evils as sins, does uses from self and for the sake of self. This is the difference between the uses done by devils and those done by angels." Having said this, the two angels departed; and I saw them from afar carried in a firy chariot like Elias, and conveyed into their respective heavens.

267. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. Not long after this interview with the angels, I entered a certain grove, and while I was walking there, I meditated on those who are in the concupiscence and consequent phantasy of possessing the things of the world; and then at some distance from me I saw two angels in conversation, and by turns looking at me; I therefore went nearer to them, and as I approached they thus accosted me: "We have perceived in ourselves that you are meditating on what we are conversing about, or that we are conversing on what you are meditating about, which is a consequence of the reciprocal communication of affections." I asked therefore what they were conversing about? they replied, "About phantasy, concupiscence, and intelligence; and just now about those who delight themselves in the vision and imagination of possessing whatever the world contains." I then entreated them to favor me with their sentiments on those three subjects,--concupiscence, phantasy, and intelligence. They began by saying, "Every one is by birth interiorly in concupiscence, but by education exteriorly in intelligence; and no one is in intelligence, still less in wisdom, interiorly, thus as to his spirit, but from the Lord: for every one is withheld from the concupiscence of evil, and held in intelligence, according as he looks to the Lord, and is at the same time in conjunction with him; without this, a man is mere concupiscence; yet still in externals, or as to the body, he is in intelligence arising from education; for a man l.u.s.ts after honors and wealth, or eminence and opulence, and in order to attain them, it is necessary that he appear moral and spiritual, thus intelligent and wise; and he learns so to appear from infancy. This the reason why, as soon as he comes among men, or into company, he inverts his spirit, and removes it from concupiscence, and speaks and acts from the fair and honorable maxims which he has learnt from infancy, and retains in the bodily memory: and he is particularly cautious, lest anything of the wild concupiscence prevalent in his spirit should discover itself. Hence every man who is not interiorly led by the Lord, is a pretender, a sycophant, a hypocrite, and thereby an apparent man, and yet not a man; of whom it may be said, that his sh.e.l.l or body is wise, and his kernel or spirit insane; also that his external is human, and his internal b.e.s.t.i.a.l. Such persons, with the hinder part of the head look upwards, and with the fore part downwards; thus they walk as if oppressed with heaviness, with the head hanging down and the countenance p.r.o.ne to the earth; and when they put off the body, and become spirits, and are thereby set at liberty from external restraints, they become the madnesses of their respective concupiscences. Those who are in self-love desire to domineer over the universe, yea, to extend its limits in order to enlarge their dominion, of which they see no end: those who are in the love of the world desire to possess whatever the world contains, and are full of grief and envy in case any of its treasures are hid and concealed from them by others: therefore to prevent such persons from becoming mere concupiscences, and thereby no longer men, they are permitted in the spiritual world to think from a fear of the loss of reputation, and thereby of honor and gain, and also from a fear of the law and its penalties, and also to give their mind to some study or work whereby they are kept in externals and thus in a state of intelligence, however wild and insane they may be interiorly." After this I asked them, whether all who are in any concupiscence, are also in the phantasy thereof; they replied, that those are in the phantasy of their respective concupiscences, who think interiorly in themselves, and too much indulge their imagination by talking with themselves; for these almost separate their spirit from connection with the body, and by vision overflow the understanding, and take a foolish delight as if they were possessed of the universe and all that it contains: into this delirium every man comes after death, who has abstracted his spirit from the body, and has not wished to recede from the delight of the delirium by thinking at all religiously respecting evils and falses, and least of all respecting the inordinate love of self as being destructive of love to the Lord, and respecting the inordinate love of the world, as being destructive of neighborly love.

268. After this the two angels and also myself were seized with a desire of seeing those who from worldly love are in the visionary concupiscence or phantasy of possessing all wealth; and we perceived that we were inspired with this desire to the end that such visionaries might be known. Their dwellings were under the earth of our feet, but above h.e.l.l: we therefore looked at each other and said, "Let us go." There was an opening, and in it a ladder by which we descended; and we were told that we must approach them from the east, lest we should enter into the mist of their phantasy, whereby our understanding and at the same time our sight would be obscured; and lo! there appeared a house built of reeds, and consequently full of c.h.i.n.ks, standing in a mist, which continually issued like smoke through the c.h.i.n.ks of three of the walls. We entered, and saw perhaps fifty here and fifty there sitting on benches, with their faces turned from the east and south, and looking towards the west and north. Before each person there was a table, on which were large purses, and by the purses a great quant.i.ty of gold coin: so we asked them, "Is that the wealth of all the persons in the world?" they replied, "Not of all in the world, but of all in the kingdom." The sound of their voice was hissing; and they had round faces, which glistened like the sh.e.l.l of a snail, and the pupils of their eyes in a green plane as it were shot forth lightning, which was an effect of the light of phantasy. We stood in the midst of them, and said, "You believe that you possess all the wealth of the kingdom;" they replied, "We do possess it." We then asked, "Which of you?" they said, "Every one;" and we asked, "How every one? there are many of you:" they said, "Every one of us knows that all which another has is his own. No one is allowed to think, and still less to say, 'Mine are not thine;' but every one may think and say, 'Thine are mine.'" The coin on the tables appeared, even to us, to be pure gold; but when we let in light from the east, we saw that they were little grains of gold, which they had magnified to such a degree by a union of their common phantasy. They said, that every one that enters ought to bring with him some gold, which they cut into small pieces, and these again into little grains, and by the unanimous force of their phantasy they increase them into larger coin. We then said, "Were you not born men of reason; whence then have you this visionary infatuation?" they said, "We know that it is an imaginary vanity; but as it delights the interiors of our minds, we enter here and are delighted as with the possession of all things: we continue in this place, however, only a few hours, at the end of which we depart; and as often as we do so we again become of sound mind; yet still our visionary delight alternately succeeds and occasions our alternate entrance into and departure from these habitations: thus we are alternately wise and foolish; we also know that a hard lot awaits those who by cunning rob others of their goods." We inquired, "What lot?" they said, "They are swallowed up and are thrust naked into some infernal prison, where they are kept to hard labor for clothes and food, and afterwards for some pieces of coin of trifling value, which they collect, and in which they place the joy of their hearts; but if they do any harm to their companions, they are fined a part of their coin."

269. Afterwards we ascended from these h.e.l.ls to the south, where we had been before, and the angels related there several interesting particulars respecting concupiscence not visionary or phantastic, in which all men are born; namely, that while they are in it, they are like persons infatuated, and yet seem to themselves to be most eminently wise; and that from this infatuation they are alternately let into the rational principle which is in their externals; in which state they see, acknowledge, and confess their insanity; but still they are very desirous to quit their rational and enter their insane state; and also do let themselves into it, as into a free and delightful state succeeding a forced and undelightful one; thus it is concupiscence and not intelligence that interiorly pleases them. There are three universal loves which form the const.i.tuent principles of every man by creation: neighbourly love, which also is the love of doing uses; the love of the world, which also is the love of possessing wealth; and the love of self, which also is the love of bearing rule over others. Neighbourly love, or the love of doing uses, is a spiritual love; but the love of the world, or the love of possessing wealth, is a material love; whereas the love of self, or the love of bearing rule over others, is a corporeal love. A man is a man while neighbourly love, or the love of doing uses, const.i.tutes the head, the love of the world the body, and the love of self the feet; whereas if the love of the world const.i.tutes the head, the man is as it were hunched-backed; but when the love of self const.i.tutes the head, he is like a man standing not on his feet, but on the palms of his hands with his head downwards and his haunches upwards. When neighbourly love const.i.tutes the head, and the two other loves in order const.i.tute the body and feet, the man appears from heaven of an angelic countenance, with a beautiful rainbow about his head; whereas if the love of the world const.i.tutes the head, he appears from heaven of a pale countenance like a corpse, with a yellow circle about his head; but if the love of self const.i.tutes the head, he appears from heaven of a dusky countenance, with a white circle about his head.

Hereupon I asked, "What do the circles about the head represent?" they replied, "They represent intelligence; the white circle about the head of the dusky countenance represents, that his intelligence is in externals, or about him, but insanity is in his internals, or in him. A man also who is of such a quality and character, is wise while in the body, but insane while in the spirit; and no man is wise in spirit but from the Lord, as is the case when he is regenerated and created again or anew by him." As they said this, the earth opened to the left, and through the opening I saw a devil rising with a white lucid circle around his head, and I asked him, Who he was? He said, "I am Lucifer, the son of the morning: and because I made myself like the Most High, I was cast down." Nevertheless he was not Lucifer, but believed himself to be so. I then said, "Since you were cast down, how can you rise again out of h.e.l.l?" he replied, "There I am a devil, but here I am an angel of light: do you not see that my head is surrounded by a lucid sphere? you shall also see, if you wish, that I am super-moral among the moral, super-rational among the rational, yea, super-spiritual among the spiritual: I can also preach; yea, I have preached." I asked him, "What have you preached?" he said, "Against fraudulent dealers and adulterers, and against all infernal loves; on this occasion too I, Lucifer, called myself a devil, and denounced vengeance against myself as a devil; and therefore I was extolled to the skies with praises. Hence it is that I am called the son of the morning; and, what I myself was surprised at, while I was in the pulpit, I thought no other than that I was speaking rightly and properly; but I discovered that this arose from my being in externals, which at that time were separated from my internals: but although I discovered this, still I could not change myself, because through my haughtiness I did not look to G.o.d." I next asked him, "How could you so speak, when you are yourself a fraudulent dealer, an adulterer, and a devil?" He answered, "I am one character when I am in externals or in the body, and another when in internals or in the spirit; in the body I am an angel, but in the spirit a devil; for in the body I am in the understanding, but in the spirit I am in the will; and the understanding carries me upwards, whereas the will carries me downwards. When I am in the understanding my head is surrounded by a white belt, but when the understanding submits itself entirely to the will, and becomes subservient to it, which is our last lot, the belt grows black and disappears; and when this is the case, we cannot again ascend into this light." Afterwards he spoke of his twofold state, the external and the internal, more rationally than any other person; but on a sudden when he saw the angels attendant on me, his face and voice were inflamed, and he became black, even as to the belt round his head, and he sunk down into h.e.l.l through the opening from which he arose. The bystanders, from what they had seen, came to this conclusion, that a man is such as his love, and not such as his understanding is; since the love easily draws over the understanding to its side, and enslaves it. I then asked the angels, "Whence have devils such rationality?" They said, "It is from the glory of self-love; for self-love is surrounded by glory, and glory elevates the understanding even into the light of heaven; for with every man the understanding is capable of being elevated according to knowledges, but the will only by a life according to the truths of the church and of reason: hence even atheists, who are in the glory of reputation arising from self-love, and thence in a high conceit of their own intelligence, enjoy a more sublime rationality than many others; this, however, is only when they are in the thought of the understanding, and not when they are in the affection of the will. The affection of the will possesses a man's internal, whereas the thought of the understanding possesses his external." The angel further declared the reason why every man is const.i.tuted of the three loves above mentioned; namely, the love of use, the love of the world, and the love of self; which is, that he may think from G.o.d, although as from himself.

He also said, that the supreme principles in a man are turned upwards to G.o.d, the middle outwards to the world, and the lowest downwards to self; and since the latter are turned downwards, a man thinks as from himself, when yet it is from G.o.d.

270. THE THIRD MEMORABLE RELATION. One morning on awaking from sleep my thoughts were deeply engaged on some arcana of conjugial love, and at length on this, "_In what region of the human mind does love truly conjugial reside, and thence in what region does conjugial cold reside_?" I knew that there are three regions of the human mind, one above the other, and that in the lowest region dwells natural love; in the superior, spiritual love; and in the supreme, celestial love; and that in each region there is a marriage of good and truth; and good is of love, and truth is of wisdom; that in each region there is a marriage of love and wisdom; and that this marriage is the same as the marriage of the will and the understanding, since the will is the receptacle of love, and the understanding the receptacle of wisdom. While I was thus deeply engaged in thought, lo! I saw two swans flying towards the north, and presently two birds of paradise flying towards the south, and also two turtle doves flying in the east: as I was watching their flight, I saw that the two swans bent their course from the north to the east, and the two birds of paradise from the south, also that they united with the two doves in the east, and flew together to a certain lofty palace there, about which there were olives, palms, and beeches. The palace had three rows of windows, one above the other; and while I was making my observations, I saw the swans fly into the palace through open windows in the lowest row, the birds of paradise through others in the middle row, and the doves through others in the highest. When I had observed this, an angel presented himself, and said, "Do you understand what you have seen?" I replied, "In a small degree." He said, "That palace represents the habitations of conjugial love, such as are in human minds. Its highest part, into which the doves flew, represents the highest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of good with its wisdom; the middle part, into which the birds of paradise flew, represents the middle region, where conjugial love dwells in the love of truth with its intelligence: and the lowest part, into which the swans flew, represents the lowest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of what is just and right with its knowledge.

The three pairs of birds also signify these things; the pair of turtle doves signifies conjugial love of the highest region, the pair of birds of paradise conjugial love of the middle region, and the pair of swans conjugial love of the lowest region. Similar things are signified by the three kinds of trees about the palace, the olives, palms, and beeches.

We in heaven call the highest region of the mind celestial, the middle spiritual, and the lowest natural; and we perceive them as stories in a house, one above another, and an ascent from one to the other by steps as by stairs; and in each part as it were two apartments, one for love, the other for wisdom, and in front as it were a chamber, where love with its wisdom, or good with its truth, or, what is the same, the will with its understanding, consociate in bed. In that palace are presented as in an image all the arcana of conjugial love." On hearing this, being inflamed with a desire of seeing it, I asked whether anyone was permitted to enter and see it, as it was a representative palace? He replied, "None but those who are in the third heaven, because to them every representative of love and wisdom becomes real: from them I have heard what I have related to you, and also this particular, that love truly conjugial dwells in the highest region in the midst of mutual love, in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the will, and also in the midst of the perceptions of wisdom in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the understanding, and that they consociate in bed in the chamber which is in front, in the east." I also asked, "Why are there two marriage-chambers?" He said, "The husband is in the marriage-chamber of the understanding, and the wife in that of the will." I then asked, "Since conjugial love dwells there, where then does conjugial cold dwell?" He replied, "It dwells also in the supreme region, but only in the marriage-chamber of the understanding, that of the will being closed there: for the understanding with its truths, as often as it pleases, can ascend by a winding staircase into the highest region into its marriage-chamber; but if the will with the good of its love does not ascend at the same time into the consociate marriage-chamber, the latter is closed, and cold ensues in the other: this is _conjugial cold_. The understanding, while such cold prevails towards the wife, looks downwards to the lowest region, and also, if not prevented by fear, descends to warm itself there at an illicit fire." Having thus spoken, he was about to recount further particulars respecting conjugial love from its images in that palace; but he said, "Enough at this time; inquire first whether what has been already said is above the level of ordinary understandings; if it is, what need of saying more? but if not, more will be discovered."

ON THE CAUSES OF APPARENT LOVE, FRIENDs.h.i.+P, AND FAVOR IN MARRIAGES.

271. Having treated of the causes of cold and separation, it follows from order that the causes of apparent love, friends.h.i.+p, and favor in marriages, should also be treated of; for it is well known, that although cold separates the minds (_animos_) of married partners at the present day, still they live together, and have children; which would not be the case, unless there were also apparent loves, alternately similar to or emulous of the warmth of genuine love. That these appearances are necessary and useful, and that without them there would be no houses, and consequently no societies, will be seen in what follows. Moreover, some conscientious persons may be distressed with the idea, that the disagreement of mind subsisting between them and their married partners, and the internal alienation thence arising, may be their own fault, and may be imputed to them as such, and on this account they are grieved at the heart; but as it is out of their power to prevent internal disagreements, it is enough for them, by apparent love and favor, from conscientious motives to subdue the inconveniences which might arise: hence also friends.h.i.+p may possibly return, in which conjugial love lies concealed on the part of such, although not on the part of the other. But this subject, like the foregoing, from the great variety of its matter, shall be treated of in the following distinct articles: I. _In the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent._ II. _In the spiritual world all are joined together according to internal, but not according to external affections, unless these act in unity with the internal._ III. _It is the external affections, according to which matrimony is generally contracted in the world._ IV. _But in case they are not influenced by internal affections, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house._ V. _Nevertheless those bonds must continue in the world till the decease of one of the parties._ VI. _In cases of matrimony, in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are external affections, which a.s.sume a semblance of the internal and tend to consociate._ VII. _Hence come apparent love, friends.h.i.+p, and favor between married partners._ VIII. _These appearances are a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, and they are commendable, because useful and necessary._ IX. _These a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a spiritual man (h.o.m.o) conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and judgement._ X. _For various reasons these a.s.sumed conjugial semblances with natural men are founded in prudence._ XI. _They are for the sake of amendment and accommodation._ XII. _They are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid._ XIII. _They are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education of children._ XIV. _They are for the sake of peace in the house._ XV.

_They are for the sake of reputation out of the house._ XVI. _They are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her relations; and thus from the fear of losing such favors._ XVII. _They are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thereby of avoiding disgrace._ XVIII. _They are for the sake of reconciliation._ XIX. _In case favor does not cease with the wife, when faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friends.h.i.+p resembling conjugial friends.h.i.+p, when the parties grow old._ XX. _There are various kinds of apparent love and friends.h.i.+p between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other._ XXI. _In the world there are infernal marriages between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends._ We proceed to an explanation of each article.

272. I. IN THE NATURAL WORLD ALMOST ALL ARE CAPABLE OF BEING JOINED TOGETHER AS TO EXTERNAL, BUT NOT AS TO INTERNAL AFFECTIONS, IF THESE DISAGREE AND ARE APPARENT. The reason of this is, because in the world every one is clothed with a material body, and this is overcharged with l.u.s.ts, which are in it as dregs that fall to the bottom, when the must of the wine is clarified. Such are the const.i.tuent substances of which the bodies of men in the world are composed. Hence it is that the internal affections, which are of the mind, do not appear; and in many cases, scarce a grain of them transpires; for the body either absorbs them, and involves them in its dregs, or by simulation which has been learned from infancy conceals them deeply from the sight of others; and by these means the man puts himself into the state of every affection which he observes in another, and allures his affection to himself, and thus they unite. The reason why they unite is, because every affection has its delight, and delights tie minds together. But it would be otherwise if the internal affections, like the external, appeared visibly in the face and gesture, and were made manifest to the hearing by the tone of the speech; or if their delights were sensible to the nostrils or smell, as they are in the spiritual world: in such case, if they disagreed so as to be discordant, they would separate minds from each other, and according to the perception of antipathy, the minds would remove to a distance. From these considerations it is evident, that in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent.

273. II. IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD ALL ARE CONJOINED ACCORDING TO INTERNAL, BUT NOT ACCORDING TO EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS, UNLESS THESE ACT IN UNITY WITH THE INTERNAL. This is, because in the spiritual world the material body is rejected, which could receive and bring forth the forms of all affections, as we have said just above; and a man (_h.o.m.o_) when stripped of that body is in his internal affections, which his body had before concealed: hence it is, that in the spiritual world similarities and dissimilarities, or sympathies and antipathies, are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the speech, and the gesture; wherefore in that world similitudes are conjoined, and dissimilitudes separated. This is the reason why the universal heaven is arranged by the Lord according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of good and truth, and, on the contrary, h.e.l.l according to all the varieties of the love of what is evil and false. As angels and spirits, like men in the world, have internal and external affections, and as, in the spiritual world, the internal affections cannot be concealed by the external, they therefore transpire and manifest themselves: hence with angels and spirits both the internal and external affections are reduced to similitude and correspondence; after which their internal affections are, by the external, imaged in their faces, and perceived in the tone of their speech; they also appear in their behaviour and manners. Angels and spirits have internal and external affections, because they have minds and bodies; and affections with the thoughts thence derived belong to the mind, and sensations with the pleasures thence derived to the body.

It frequently happens in the world of spirits, that friends meet after death, and recollect their friends.h.i.+ps in the former world, and on such occasions believe that they shall live on terms of friends.h.i.+p as formerly; but when their consociation, which is only of the external affections, is perceived in heaven, a separation ensues according to their internal; and in this case some are removed from the place of their meeting into the north, some into the west, and each to such a distance from the other, that they can no longer see or know each other; for in the places appointed for them to remain at, their faces are changed so as to become the image of their internal affections. From these considerations it is manifest, that in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external, unless these act in unity with the internal.

274. III. IT IS THE EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS ACCORDING TO WHICH MATRIMONY IS GENERALLY CONTRACTED IN THE WORLD. The reason of this is, because the internal affections are seldom consulted; and even if they are, still their similitude is not seen in the woman; for she, by a peculiar property with which she is gifted from her birth, withdraws the internal affections into the inner recesses of her mind. There are various external affections which induce men to engage in matrimony. The first affection of this age is an increase of property by wealth, as well with a view to becoming rich as for a plentiful supply of the comforts of life; the second is a thirst after honors, with a view either of being held in high estimation or of an increase of fortune: besides these, there are various allurements and concupiscences which do not afford an opportunity of ascertaining the agreement of the internal affections.

From these few considerations it is manifest, that matrimony is generally contracted in the world according to external affections.

275. IV. BUT IN CASE THEY ARE NOT INFLUENCED BY INTERNAL AFFECTIONS, WHICH CONJOIN MINDS, THE BONDS OF MATRIMONY ARE LOOSED IN THE HOUSE. It is said _in the house_, because it is done privately between the parties; as is the case when the first warmth, excited during courts.h.i.+p and breaking out into a flame as the nuptials approach, successively abates from the discordance of the internal affections, and at length pa.s.ses off into cold. It is well known that in this case the external affections, which had induced and allured the parties to matrimony, disappear, so that they no longer effect conjunction. That cold arises from various causes, internal, external, and accidental, all which originate in a dissimilitude of internal inclinations, was proved in the foregoing chapter. From these considerations the truth of what was a.s.serted is manifest, that unless the external affections are influenced by internal, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house.

276. V. NEVERTHELESS THOSE BONDS MUST CONTINUE IN THE WORLD TILL THE DECEASE OF ONE OF THE PARTIES. This proposition is adduced to the intent that to the eye of reason it may more evidently appear how necessary, useful, and true it is, that where there is not genuine conjugial love, it ought still to be a.s.sumed, that it may appear as if there were. The case would be otherwise if the marriage contract was not to continue to the end of life, but might be dissolved at pleasure as was the case with the Israelitish nation, who claimed to themselves the liberty of putting away their wives for every cause. This is evident from the following pa.s.sage in Matthew: "_The pharisees came, and said unto Jesus, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And when Jesus answered, that it is not lawful to put away a wife and to marry another, except on account of wh.o.r.edom, they replied that nevertheless Moses commanded to give a bill of divorce and to put her away; and the disciples said, If the case of a man with his wife be so it is not expedient to marry_," xix. 3-10. Since therefore the covenant of marriage is for life, it follows that the appearances of love and friends.h.i.+p between married partners are necessary. That matrimony, when contracted, must continue till the decease of one of the parties, is grounded in the divine law, consequently also in rational law, and thence in civil law: in the divine law, because, as said above, it is not lawful to put away a wife and marry another, except for wh.o.r.edom; in rational law, because it is founded upon spiritual, for divine law and rational are one law; from both these together, or by the latter from the former, it may be abundantly seen what enormities and destructions of societies would result from the dissolving of marriage, or the putting away of wives, at the good pleasure of the husbands, before death. Those enormities and destructions of societies may in some measure be seen in the MEMORABLE RELATION respecting the origin of conjugial love, discussed by the spirits a.s.sembled from the nine kingdoms, n. 103-115; to which there is no need of adding further reasons. But these causes do not operate to prevent the permission of separations grounded in their proper causes, respecting which see above, n. 252-254; and also of concubinage, respecting which see the second part of this work.

277. VI. IN CASE OF MATRIMONY IN WHICH THE INTERNAL AFFECTIONS DO NOT CONJOIN, THERE ARE EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS WHICH a.s.sUME A SEMBLANCE OF THE INTERNAL AND TEND TO CONSOLIDATE. By internal affections we mean the mutual inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from heaven; whereas by external affections we mean the inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from the world. The latter affections or inclinations indeed equally belong to the mind, but they occupy its inferior regions, whereas the former occupy the superior: but since both have their allotted seat in the mind, it may possibly be believed that they are alike and agree; yet although they are not alike, still they can appear so: in some cases they exist as agreements, and in some as insinuating semblances. There is a certain communion implanted in each of the parties from the earliest time of the marriage-covenant, which, notwithstanding their disagreement in minds (_animis_) still remains implanted; as a communion of possessions, and in many cases a communion of uses, and of the various necessities of the house, and thence also a communion of thoughts and of certain secrets; there is also a communion of bed, and of the love of children: not to mention several others, which, as they are inscribed on the conjugial covenant, are also inscribed on their minds. Hence originate especially those external affections which resemble the internal; whereas those which only counterfeit them are partly from the same origin and partly from another; but on the subject of each more will be said in what follows.

278. VII. HENCE COME APPARENT LOVE, FRIENDs.h.i.+P, AND FAVOR BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. Apparent loves, friends.h.i.+ps, and favors between married partners, are a consequence of the conjugial covenant being ratified for the term of life, and of the conjugial communion thence inscribed on those who ratify it; whence spring external affections resembling the internal, as was just now indicated: they are moreover a consequence of their causes, which are usefulness and necessity: from which in part exist conjunctive external affections, or their counterfeit, whereby external love and friends.h.i.+p appear as internal.

279. VIII. THESE APPEARANCES ARE a.s.sUMED CONJUGIAL SEMBLANCES; AND THEY ARE COMMENDABLE, BECAUSE USEFUL AND NECESSARY. They are called a.s.sumed semblances, because they exist with those who disagree in mind, and who from such disagreement are interiorly in cold: in this case, when they still appear to live united, as duty and decency require, their kind offices to each other may be called a.s.sumed conjugial semblances; which, as being commendable for the sake of uses, are altogether to be distinguished from hypocritical semblances; for hereby all those good things are provided for, which are commemorated in order below, from article XI-XX. They are commendable for the sake of necessity, because otherwise those good things would be unattained; and yet the parties are enjoined by a covenant and compact to live together, and hence it behoves each of them to consider it a duty to do so.

280. IX. THESE a.s.sUMED CONJUGIAL SEMBLANCES, IN THE CASE OF A SPIRITUAL MAN (_h.o.m.o_) CONJOINED TO A NATURAL, ARE FOUNDED IN JUSTICE AND JUDGEMENT. The reason of this is, because the spiritual man, in all he does, acts from justice and judgement; wherefore he does not regard these a.s.sumed semblances as alienated from their internal affections, but as connected with them; for he is in earnest, and respects amendment as an end; and if he does not obtain this, he respects accommodation for the sake of domestic order, mutual aid, the care of children, and peace and tranquillity. To these things he is led from a principle of justice; and from a principle of judgement he gives them effect. The reason why a spiritual man so lives with a natural one is, because a spiritual man acts spiritually, even with a natural man.

281. X. FOR VARIOUS REASONS, THESE a.s.sUMED CONJUGIAL SEMBLANCES WITH NATURAL MEN ARE FOUNDED IN PRUDENCE. In the case of two married partners of whom one is spiritual and the other natural, (by the spiritual we mean the one that loves spiritual things, and thereby is wise from the Lord, and by the natural, the one that loves only natural things, and thereby is wise from himself,) when they are united in marriage, conjugial love with the spiritual partner is heat, and with the natural is cold. It is evident that heat and cold cannot remain together, also that heat cannot inflame him that is in cold, unless the cold be first dispersed, and that cold cannot flow into him that is in heat, unless the heat be first removed: hence it is that inward love cannot exist between married partners, one of whom is spiritual and the other natural; but that a love resembling inward love may exist on the part of the spiritual partner, as was said in the foregoing article; whereas between two natural married partners no inward love can exist, since each is cold; and if they have any heat, it is from something unchaste; nevertheless such persons may live together in the same house, with separate minds (_animis_), and also a.s.sume looks of love and friends.h.i.+p towards each other, notwithstanding the disagreement of their minds (_mentes_): in such case, the external affections, which for the most part relate to wealth and possessions, or to honor and dignities, may as it were be kindled into a flame; and as such enkindling induces fear for their loss, therefore a.s.sumed conjugial semblances are in such cases necessities, which are princ.i.p.ally those adduced below in articles XV.-XVII. The rest of the causes adduced with these may have somewhat in common with those relating to the spiritual man; concerning which see above, n. 280; but only in case the prudence with the natural man is founded in intelligence.

282. XI. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF AMENDMENT AND ACCOMMODATION. The reason why a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, which are appearances of love and friends.h.i.+p subsisting between married partners who disagree in mind, are for the sake of amendment, is because a spiritual man (_h.o.m.o_) connected with a natural one by the matrimonial covenant, intends nothing else but amendment of life; which he effects by judicious and elegant conversation, and by favors which soothe and flatter the temper of the other; but in case these things prove ineffectual, he intends accommodation, for the preservation of order in domestic affairs, for mutual aid, and for the sake of the infants and children, and other similar things; for, as was shown above, n. 280, whatever is said and done by a spiritual man (_h.o.m.o_) is founded in justice and judgement.

But with married partners, neither of whom is spiritual, but both natural, similar conduct may exist, but for other ends; if for the sake of amendment and accommodation, the end is, either that the other party may be reduced to a similitude of manners, and be made subordinate to his desires, or that some service may be made subservient to his own, or for the sake of peace within the house, of reputation out of it, or of favors hoped for by the married partner or his relations; not to mention other ends: but with some these ends are grounded in the prudence of their reason, with some in natural civility, with some in the delights of certain cupidities which have been familiar from the cradle, the loss of which is dreaded; besides several ends, which render the a.s.sumed kindnesses as of conjugial love more or less counterfeit. There may also be kindnesses as of conjugial love out of the house, and none within; those however respect as an end the reputation of both parties; and if they do not respect this, they are merely deceptive.

283. XII. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF PRESERVING ORDER IN DOMESTIC AFFAIRS, AND FOR THE SAKE OF MUTUAL AID. Every house in which there are children, their instructors, and other domestics, is a small society resembling a large one. The latter also consists of the former, as a whole consists of its parts, and thereby it exists; and further, as the security of a large society depends on order, so does the security of this small society; wherefore as it behoves public magistrates to see and provide that order may exist and be preserved in a compound society, so it concerns married partners in their single society. But there cannot be this order if the husband and wife disagree in their minds (_animis_); for thereby mutual counsels and aids are drawn different ways, and are divided like their minds, and thus the form of the small society is rent asunder; wherefore to preserve order, and thereby to take care of themselves and at the same time of the house, or of the house and at the same time of themselves, lest they should come to hurt and fall to ruin, necessity requires that the master and mistress agree, and act in unity; and if, from the difference of their minds (_mentium_) this cannot be done so well as it might, both duty and propriety require that it be done by representative conjugial friends.h.i.+p. That hereby concord is established in houses for the sake of necessity and consequent utility, is well known.

284. XIII. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF UNANIMITY IN THE CARE OF INFANTS AND THE EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. It is very well known that a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, which are appearances of love and friends.h.i.+p resembling such as are truly conjugial, exist with married partners for the sake of infants and children. The common love of the latter causes each married partner to regard the other with kindness and favor. The love of infants and children with the mother and the father unite as the heart and lungs in the breast. The love of them with the mother is as the heart, and the love towards them with the father is as the lungs. The reason of this comparison is, because the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to the understanding; and love grounded in the will belongs to the mother, and love grounded in the understanding to the father. With spiritual men (_homines_) there is conjugial conjunction by means of that love grounded in justice and judgement; in justice, because the mother had carried them in her womb, had brought them forth with pain, and afterwards with unwearied care suckles, nourishes, washes, dresses, and educates them, (and in judgement, because the father provides for their instruction in knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom).

285. XIV. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF PEACE IN THE HOUSE. a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, or external friends.h.i.+ps for the sake of domestic peace and tranquillity, relate princ.i.p.ally to the men, who, from their natural characteristic, act from the understanding in whatever they do; and the understanding, being exercised in thought, is engaged in a variety of objects which disquiet, disturb, and distract the mind; wherefore if there were not tranquillity at home, it would come to pa.s.s that the vital spirits of the parties would grow faint, and their interior life would as it were expire, and thereby the health of both mind and body would be destroyed. The dreadful apprehension of these and several other dangers would possess the minds of the men, unless they had an asylum with their wives at home for appeasing the disturbances arising in their understandings. Moreover peace and tranquillity give serenity to their minds, and dispose them to receive agreeably the kind attentions of their wives, who spare no pains to disperse the mental clouds which they are very quick-sighted to observe in their husbands: moreover, the same peace and tranquillity make the presence of their wives agreeable. Hence it is evident, that an a.s.sumed semblance of love, as if it was truly conjugial, for the sake of peace and tranquillity at home, is both necessary and useful. It is further to be observed, that with the wives such semblances are not a.s.sumed as with the men; but if they appear to resemble them, they are the effect of real love, because wives are born loves of the understanding of the men; wherefore they accept kindly the favors of their husbands, and if they do not confess it with their lips, still they acknowledge it in heart.

286. XV. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF REPUTATION OUT OF THE HOUSE. The fortunes of men in general depend on their reputation for justice, sincerity, and uprightness; and this reputation also depends on the wife, who is acquainted with the most familiar circ.u.mstances of her husband's life; therefore if the disagreements of their minds should break out into open enmity, quarrels, and threats of hatred, and these should be noised abroad by the wife and her friends, and by the domestics, they would easily be turned into tales of scandal, which would bring disgrace and infamy upon the husband's name. To avoid such mischiefs, he has no other alternative than either to counterfeit affection for his wife, or that they be separated as to house.

287. XVI. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF VARIOUS FAVORS EXPECTED FROM THE MARRIED PARTNER, OR FROM HIS OR HER RELATIONS, AND THUS FROM THE FEAR OF LOSING SUCH FAVORS. This is the case more especially in marriages where the rank and condition of the parties are dissimilar, concerning which, see above, n. 250; as when a man marries a wealthy wife who stores up her money in purses, or her treasures in coffers; and the more so if she boldly insists that the husband is bound to support the house out of his own estate and income: that hence come forced likenesses of conjugial love, is generally known. The case is simi