The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter Part 15

"You have my thanks," rejoined the landlord, with a smile. "I may say, we wish our guests well, and do cheerfully what we can to make the voyage of life pleasant." And while they were thus addressing one another, and endeavoring to outdo in compliments, the official took up his position a few paces aside, and amused himself by twirling on his heel.

"Indulgence well directed, sir," resumed the major, looking askance at the landlord, "produces wonderful effects. And, sir, if you will just please to bestow it in this instance, it will settle the little matter between us, and preserve our friends.h.i.+p. I confess, being a straightforward, honest man, that too many years have pa.s.sed since your great generosity permitted me to become your debtor. But such, sir, is the condition of my financial affairs, that though I have popularity enough for any politician, I swear by my military reputation that I have not now a dollar in my pocket, and as my wife, Polly Potter, used to say, you can't get b.u.t.ter out of a pine tree."

"I a.s.sure you, sir," rejoined the landlord, "it was not our intention to give you trouble, and so quiet your apprehensions."

"And now, sir," exclaimed the major, grasping the landlord warmly by the hand, "I see you are a philosopher; for though you might lock me up, (being your property in law,) and cause my wife Polly to bewail my fate, you would also lock up my prospects, which are your hopes. Remember, sir, I am a soldier who has fought many battles, and have scars enough to satisfy any man that I am an honorable gentleman. And I would have you consider, sir, that several of my friends, (and they are no small men,) have said it might do to try me in the next presidential contest. And as you are a discreet man, pray keep before your eyes how easy it would be with a salary of twenty-five thousand dollars and the edgings, to shuffle off such a trifle. Consider it well, sir, and you will not let your anxiety interfere with my prospects, since I am now a man of mark, and shall at least get a foreign mission, for the vast services I have rendered the party. And I will share the income with you, if my children go supperless to bed." The major continued in this manner, pleading his poverty with the landlord, until he so excited the goodness of his heart, that he not only regretted having resorted to law, but actually dispatched the official to his attorney with orders to forthwith stay proceedings. He also accepted the major's word of honor for the forthcoming of all demands; and, indeed, would not be content until he had dined at his house, and recounted the many deeds of valor he had performed while in Mexico, which he did over a bottle of old Madeira.

CHAPTER x.x.xII.

WHICH DESCRIBES WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THE MAJOR RETURNED TO THE SAINT NICHOLAS; WITH AN ACCOUNT OF HOW HE GOT INTO DEBT AT THE ASTOR, AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS.

IT was early evening when the major came exultingly into his parlor at the Saint Nicholas, and after quenching his thirst in a nicely mixed beverage, for the day was excessively warm, said: "And now, young man, I own I have not done much for you yet; but you must not be discomfited, for there is a good time ahead, and I begin to esteem myself no small diplomatist. Indeed, if you had seen how I accommodated myself to that affair with the Astor, which threatened to overthrow all my prospects to-day, you would have seen, sir, that I am not a man to build castles in the air. No, sir, I hold the advantage gained over the host of the Astor in the light of a victory gained over my enemies. And though my private affairs are somewhat loose in the joints, what matters it, so long as I stand square in the public eye? Private affairs are private affairs, and I hold it good philosophy that they have nothing to do with a public man and his usefulness."

The major here commenced to recount, taking considerable credit to himself as a diplomatist, how he got the advantage of the landlord.

"I pleaded my poverty while keeping my prospective riches before his eyes," said he; "and as he was as scrupulous of his character for generosity as he was of the reputation of his house, I was careful to enhance the opportunity of flattering both those weaknesses. I also said, by way of perfecting the thing, that when in the capacity of foreign minister, I had agreed to correspond with the Courier and Enquirer, which, notwithstanding it was an almost pious newspaper, and edited by not less than two famous generals, and the grandson of a most worthy bishop, who was a poetaster, as well as a man of so much fas.h.i.+on that he had gained an enviable celerity for writing sonnets and eulogistic essays in admiration of fair but very faulty actresses; being the prospective correspondent of this almost pious newspaper, I consoled the landlord with a promise to write numerous puffs of his house. My point is carried, and if they like not my articles, as the critics say, they will at least give me credit for astuteness, for the man who succeeds is the man in these days!"

"And now, sir," said I, "remember that you promised, as we were journeying over the road to Barnstable, to renew the history of your first adventure in New York, in which you were interrupted by the mischievous boys." And as nothing so much pleased him as to relate his misfortunes at that time, he went straight into a rhapsody of joy, fretted his beard, looked quizzically out of his eyes, and said:

"I have it, sir! I have the exact place. I was, as I am now, on my way to Was.h.i.+ngton, in the hope of getting a reward for the services I had rendered the party; but having lost all my money by one of these pranks which the gentry of New York practice, and which Mr.

Councilman Finnigan, (I honor him in his present position,) is, no doubt, skilled in, I had no means either to pay my landlord, or what certainly was much more, to leave his premises.

"Days and weeks I was a martyr to my doubts and fears, and ate the good man's meat as if his finger was on my shoulder, and his eye on my plate. Several times he suggested, in the most gentlemanly manner, that it would be consulting economy for me to seek private board. But I should like to see the man who could look a widow landlady in the face, (unless he intended marrying one of her daughters,) without a dollar in his pocket. I told the landlord as much, but he only laughed, and said it was a thing very common at this day.

"I got up one morning, eat what little my anxiety would admit, went and sat down upon a seat in the Park, and contemplated the inclinations of the pa.s.sers as they rushed by; fixed my eyes upon the city hall clock, as it struck ten, and thought the policemen cast an unusually sharp eye at me, as they sauntered by, and puzzled my brain to find some means of relief, for I had just received a letter from my wife, Polly, who was in a sad strait at home, which added to the amount of my own misfortunes. And while I was musing in this way, a street beggar appeared, and notwithstanding he was well dressed, demanded alms; and when I told him I had none to give, he set to cursing me right manfully, which was a custom with such knaves, who imitated the city fathers in more ways than one. And as if to show his contempt for one who had no alms to give, the knave threw me a s.h.i.+lling, which he advised me to spend for the was.h.i.+ng of my linen, which he saw stood in much need of it. Remembering that I was a politician, I felt mortified enough, and summoning what little stock of courage I had left, I repaired to the hotel, resolved to be manly, and ask the loan of twenty dollars or so, just to get me over my difficulties-that is, to get out of the Astor and into humble lodgings. Being at that time skilled in the art of making calf brogans, necessity seemed pointing me to that as the only means of retrieving my fortunes.

"On entering the hotel, the landlord kindly pointed me to my baggage, which he had brought down, having much need of his rooms, and carefully set in the office. This put an end to our acquaintance, as well as left me without courage enough to request the loan I had contemplated. I own the whole thing was done with much shrewdness, and was a decided improvement on being kicked into the street. But though I was neither a rogue nor a highwayman, I took up my valise and proceeded into the street, feeling like one whose dignity was never to be restored to him. After wandering about for some time, like one crazed with some religious phantasy, I found myself in front of a little house on Greene Street, with a paper on the walls, setting forth that lodgings were to be had within. I was in a mood to find comfort any where, so knocked at the shabby little door, and was admitted by a negro wench of great fatness, into a greasy little entry, from whence I was shown into a dingy parlor, crowded with well worn furniture. The mistress of the house, the negress said, would soon be home; and pointing me to some books that stood upon a dusty table, and interposed between a dilapidated sofa and an old fas.h.i.+oned tte-...-tte, bid me amuse myself. Then she gave me a broken fan, and seemed very generally anxious to make me comfortable. I took a seat in a dyspeptic arm chair, that kept up a curious clicking, and after waiting for some time, perplexed a little at first, consoled myself that others had troubles, perhaps worse than mine. Then I dropped into a nap, and forgot all my cares until the door bell tinkled, and I awoke, feeling sure the mistress of the house was arrived; but it turned out to be the boy with the Evening Post, a journal I always admired for its admirable morals.

Indeed I may say I regard it an excellent journal to read in an hour of distress, its philosophy being soothingly profound. I seized the paper, and read from outside to inside, until my courage was quite restored, and I began humming an air which sent me into the happiest of moods.

"Presently my eye caught a portrait I fancied to be a likeness of the landlady, hung with dusty c.r.a.pe upon the wall, and having the appearance of a specter peering through the mist. I was curious to see the quality of her beauty, and advancing toward it, parted the c.r.a.pe in the center, and there beheld a face and bust of such exquisite loveliness that I felt sure the rogue of a painter must, in the outpouring of his love for the beautiful, have been trying his skill at flattering the vanity of some damsel with a likeness of Haidee. She had the bust of a Venus, and was dressed low enough in the neck to admit full scope to the devil's fancies. Her face, too, was so oval that nature could not have added one line more to its perfection; while her complexion was of deep olive, made ravis.h.i.+ng by the carnatic flush of her cheeks. And she had what poets and lady novelists call great Italian eyes, beaming l.u.s.trous of soul and energy; and hair that floated in raven blackness over shoulders that seemed chiseled. I began to think myself the happiest of men, for my system had always a bit of poetic fire in it. And then these charms, which had already begun to rob my heart of its peace, were made more seductive by a calmly resolved and yet pensive expression of countenance. Indeed, at a second glance, it seemed to approach melancholy, and bespoke that frame of mind when sorrow feeds most upon the heart.

"I touched the frame, and instantly it fell to the floor, with a great noise. And while in the midst of my confusion, a key clicked in the door, and a lady of stately figure, dressed in deep mourning, advanced into the parlor, and, being deeply veiled, took a seat upon the sofa, quite like a stranger. I bowed and said, 'Madam, I am waiting for the mistress of the house. You are on a similar errand, I take it?' To which she replied in a voice of peculiar sweetness, that she was the person, and would have me make known my business.

She then threw back one veil, and then another, until she discovered a face even more beautiful than that of the portrait I had just replaced on the wall. I must also mention that she seemed conscious of her charms, for with an air of much grace and dignity, she raised her jeweled fingers, so tapering, and smoothed the glossy black hair over her polished brow, while the diamonds of her bracelets sparkled through the white ruffles that hung from her wrists.

"'My name, madam,' said I, 'is Major Roger Sherman Potter, commonly called Major Roger Potter. I make no doubt you have heard of me, for enough has been said of me in the newspapers. But I will say no more of that just now, for it does not become a military man to speak of himself."

"'Your name, sir,' said she, condescending a bow and a smile, 'is quite familiar. Indeed, if you will pardon it in me, I may say that I have had great curiosity to see a gentleman so popular, for I was raised and educated among distinguished people, and am fond of their society, which I cannot now enjoy, since fortune has treated me unkindly, and I am not what I was, as you may see by my humble calling.'

"I begged she would take the most favorable view of her prospects, and at the same time not feel embarra.s.sed.

"'But tell me, sir,' she resumed, with a look of great earnestness, 'did you come on business for my first husband, Mr. Primrose?'

"Not wis.h.i.+ng to make her anxiety painful, (for I am not a man of evil inclinations,) I discovered my business to her, but said nothing of the state of my finances.

"'You have my thanks for the condescension you have vouchsafed, sir,' she replied, evidently much pleased at the prospect of so famous a lodger; 'but I fear my lodgings are far too humble for one of your position. They are small, and furnished according to my scanty means.'

"I at once told her that obscurity was my object, and that it was enough that there was peace in the house, for I was engaged over a mighty project, which I could not perfect with so many striving to do me honor. If she was before pleased, she now became exultant, and nimbly led the way up two pair of narrow stairs, entering more freely into conversation, and saying the parlor was at my service when company called. 'Now these are not large, but comfortable rooms,' she continued, showing me into a little ten by twelve nook; 'I have six lodgers similarly situated, and they are all genteel men, doing a large business.' She then began giving me an account of their various business pursuits, which was so confused and indefinite as to render it impossible clearly to understand whether they were bankers, doctors, clergymen, or stock brokers. In truth, by her own showing, they conversed of stocks, chips, sermons, and splits, with equal facility. But there was something I could not exactly understand, in the manner of her thanking G.o.d, that though reduced to this humble style of living she was comfortable, and expected soon to see the day when she would be restored to the rank in society from which she had fallen. 'There was, as I am a lady,'

she added, with a look of sorrow shadowing her face, 'a time when every b.u.t.ton on my father's coat cost a dollar, and our family servants all wore as nice liveries as could be seen in Fifth Avenue, for we had them changed a number of times, until we got them unlike any one else's.' She was evidently distressed with some past trouble; and when I said, 'Madam, I will do myself the honor to become an inmate of your house,' she seemed so overjoyed that it was with difficulty she could withhold her tears. On inquiring her name and what business her husband followed, she replied that her name was Mrs. Pickle, (she having dropped Primrose for sufficient cause,) and that of her husband, Mr. Stephen Pickle, of the young American Banking House of Pickle, Prig, & Flutter, doing business near Wall Street. We returned to the parlor, and when the valise bearing my name, which I took good care to keep in sight, was sent up stairs, and I had told her how the accident to her portrait was caused, she blushed and was so ready to unbosom her griefs, that she immediately proceeded to give me an account of herself, and how it was that she was Mrs. Pickle and Mr. Primrose still living.

"'Pardon me, sir,' said she, 'but as I know you think it strange that I have adopted this humble calling, I will tell you in brief how it happened. A change came over my father's fortunes, and from being a rich and influential merchant, he was, by what is called endorsing for others, reduced to a state of poverty, and so hara.s.sed by his creditors, who in their grasping for what he had would give him no chance to retrieve his fortunes, that he put an end to a miserable existence by hanging himself. My father was a man of simple tastes, and set a higher value upon his good name than upon the worldly show which was coming into fas.h.i.+on at that time. With my mother, it was quite different, for although she was much given to the church, and subscribed largely for the support of an expensive clergyman, she had a love of worldly show and ostentation, that not only reduced my father's means, but grievously distressed him. The sudden turn in our circ.u.mstances produced but little change in my mother, who set great value upon the good looks she imagined me possessing; and having some money of her own, we took board with Mrs. Marmaduke, who kept a boarding house for people of distinction, in Fifth Avenue, and was famous for the style and luxury of her establishment, which had been the scene of several rich matrimonial alliances.

"'Having previously formed the acquaintance of a poor but respectable young artist and poet, whose kindness and sincerity, as well as the great love he bore his art, in which he had already gained celebrity, so won my affections, that it seemed as if I could be happy with none other. And when my mother discovered how our inclinations were bent, she forbid him coming to the house. He had no money, she said, and painters were, in addition to being very generally fools, a shabby cla.s.s of men, who were thought little of among rich merchants, and never took rank in the aristocracy-at least, not in this country. Putting these things together, she could not think of giving her consent to an alliance with such a person.

In truth, sir, though my narrative may not interest you, I may mention that she more than once declared that painters and poets were such a s.h.i.+ftless set that they ought to be bundled into the sea together. 'Think! Maria,' she would say, 'of a thing with a weasel of dirty paints in his hands, and a bit of canvas, cut, may be, from some old s.h.i.+p's sail, before him, and he trying to get some curious notion upon it! A pretty person to go into society with, indeed!'

This did not deter me from my purpose, so we would meet in saloons on Broadway, and exchange our affections, and concert measures for our mutual relief.

"'Matters proceeded in this way until Mr. Primrose and his friend, Mr. Sparks, came to the house. They professed to be Englishmen of wealth and station, educated at Oxford, and acquainted with enough of the n.o.bility to enable them to mix with our best society.

According to Mr. Sparks, his friend Mr. Primrose, to whom he paid great deference, had riches enough to purchase a kingdom or two. Mr.

Primrose had a servant in livery, and arms painted on his carriage door, and the fleetest of horses. My mother was much taken with him, and Mrs. Marmaduke declared that a more perfect gentleman had never graced her drawing rooms. He took them both to operas, and b.a.l.l.s, and sleigh rides. And he paid them such court as completely won their confidence. In truth, they were both so enamored of him, that they were singing his praises from morning till night. And when he had sufficiently won them over to him, he commenced paying his addresses to me, and so earnestly did he press his suit, that my mother declared it would not do to protract so excellent a chance.

And notwithstanding my hand had been pledged to Milando, which was the name of the young painter, my mother insisted, and our nuptials were celebrated, though much against my will. It seems a report, which my mother did not see fit to contradict, had got out that I was the only heir to a large estate, which was the prize Mr.

Primrose sought to secure. In two short months the truth was revealed. I had no dowry, which so disappointed him, that he began to cast reflections on my poverty, adding that he had been deceived by the false representations of my artful mother. This gave me so much pain, that I sought relief for my distress in frequenter interviews with Milando, who, seeing himself ill treated for his poverty, resolved to quit a profession in which neglect and distrust too often repay its votaries, and take to one that would at least afford him money; which, according to the fas.h.i.+on of the day, was the only pa.s.sport into what was called good society.

"'Mr. Sparks quarreled with Mr. Primrose, who was in arrears for board with Mrs. Marmaduke, and let it out that he was only a knight of the needle, who had formerly resided in Bermuda, which he left for a cause it is not worth while to mention here, though he was skillful enough at making breeches, and getting up odd liveries for ambitious families. He was missing one morning, and as his friend Sparks had taken the precaution to precede him, there were so many inquiries for him at Mrs. Marmaduke's, that it soon became clear he had left to escape the importunities of his creditors. In truth, he was declared an impostor, and the whole affair got into the newspapers, the editors of which set about ferreting out a few of his exploits, when it was found that the deception practiced upon me was only one among many, for he had gained a victory over the affections of several widows, and left no less than three wives to sorrow. And so skillfully were his exploits performed, that each victim imagined him the most sincere and devoted of lovers.

"'This sad occurrence, and its publicity, so mortified my mother, who was hara.s.sed with debts she had contracted to keep up appearances, that she survived it but a month. I was then left like a hapless mariner tossed on a troubled sea, and with no friend near.

Mrs. Marmaduke made me a mere va.s.sal in her house, and the inmates treated me as if I were born to be scorned. Milando was my only hope, my only true friend-the only one to whom I could confide my heart achings, to whom I could look to save me from a life of shame, to which remorse had almost driven me. And will you believe that he invoked a curse, and resolved to leave his profession, (for he could not live like those shabby men of the newspapers,) to seek means whereby he could live without struggling in poverty and want. True, the wealthy gave him orders for paintings, affected great love for his art, of which they held themselves great patrons when they had bought two pictures. But, as a general thing, they had most excuses when he called, and were least ready to pay, which so tried his proud spirit, that he more than once resigned the pictures to them rather than be a supplicant for his pay.

"'Necessity at last drove him to painting Venuses for keepers of bar rooms, who regarded art only as a means to excite the baser pa.s.sions of the vulgar. And though he was by this enabled to meet the demands on his purse, the thought of degrading an art to which he had given the devotions of his life, grieved him to the heart. He therefore resolved that, as he could not make it serve the high purpose for which it was intended, he would abandon it. And when he changed his profession, he changed his name. He is now Mr. Pickle of the firm I have before mentioned. We were privately married under that name, and have since lived as humble as you see us. When we have got money enough, my husband will return to his profession. And now, sir, pray adapt yourself to our humble mode of living, and remember that our home is your home while you remain with us.'"

CHAPTER x.x.xIII.

WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR DROPPED THE t.i.tLE OF MAJOR, AND TOOK THAT OF GENERAL; ALSO, HOW HE JOINED THE YOUNG AMERICAN BANKING HOUSE OF PICKLE, PRIG, & FLUTTER.

"WHEN the lady had enlisted my sympathy by her narrative," continued the major, "which she related in a voice so sweet and melodious that I listened to her with unmixed pleasure, the door bell rang, and Mr.

Pickle, a man of straight person and medium height, entered. His hair was black, and curled down his neck, which was symmetrical.

And, too, his face was singularly expressive, and his features prominent. In a word, his appearance was prepossessing. And in addition to dressing in the fas.h.i.+on of the day, he wore many jewels.

His bearing also was graceful; and on entering the room, he addressed the lady with much courtesy, and called her Maria. She in turn introduced him to me as her husband. And I must say he seemed not a little surprised and confused at hearing my name, and inquired a second time, if I was the Major Roger Potter, of whom so much had been said in the newspapers? And when I satisfied him on that point, he became so truly delighted that he immediately engaged me in conversation concerning the state of the nation, about which he was well read, and indeed knew so much, that I at once took him for a politician. But he a.s.sured me he was not; and to farther satisfy me, he commenced a description of the banking and other operations the Young American Banking House of Pickle, Prig, & Flutter were engaged in. They had an office near Wall Street, furnished with the finest desks, carved in black walnut, and Brussels carpets, and stationery of a quality sufficient to carry on an endless amount of diplomacy.

They had books showing their correspondence with various prominent bankers in Europe-such as George Peabody, the Rothschilds, Overand, Gurney, & Co., of London; and Monroe & Co., of Paris. They had cards printed showing the most respectable references; they had correspondents in all important towns over the Union, and towns they had none in were not worthy of so distinguished a consideration.

They had gold mines in Peru and Mexico and California; silver mines in Chili, and iron mines in Patagonia and Nova Scotia. As to copper mines, they owned them here and there all the way from Lake Superior to Cuba and Valparaiso. Indeed, they owned and were agents for such an innumerable quant.i.ty of outlying property, that a country gentleman, as I was, might have imagined them in possession of at least one half of South America, and that the only one worth having.

In addition to this, they condescended at times to discount notes, especially when it was a sure thing, and five per cent. a month was a matter of no consequence with the holder. They drew bills, too, and sold exchange on every city in Europe; and would have drawn on Canton, had they been honored with a demand. In fine, there was not a city from Constantinople to Oregon, in which they had not a balance, and were prepared to draw upon. And I verily believe that, had it been necessary, they would have had a Bedouin Arab for agent in Egypt. The house now stood much in need of a little ready cash to steady it on one side, and a prominent name (if coupled with a military t.i.tle, so much the better) to prop up its dignity on the other. Indeed, I discovered from what Pickle said that the dignity of the house had already begun to tottle a little, and needed a steadying name and a steadying balance.

"When we had taken supper together, he renewed the conversation, which finally resulted in his saying that a person so popular as myself was just such a one as they wanted for partner in their house. Inquiring what I thought of the matter, he said he would propose it to the firm, and to-morrow make me a proposal. He also suggested, that if I would drop the Major, and a.s.sume the t.i.tle of General-a thing done every day by the greatest of politicians-the effect would be equal to a large amount of capital. Generals stood well in Wall Street; generals were excellent men (when endorsed by bishops) to send abroad to effect loans; generals were capital fellows to get well out of a financial collapse; in fact, generals were just the men to get through any sort of difficulty. Society bowed to a general; the people were charmed by a general; a general was every thing to a Young American Banking House like that of Pickle, Prig, & Flutter. No matter how visionary your scheme, you had only to tie a general to it, and success was certain. If you could buy up a newspaper or two, so much the better, for then the general would appear as editor, and be prepared, as was the custom of the day, to praise every scheme they were engaged in. I thought the offer very kind of Mr. Pickle, since my affairs were in a financial collapse; and on the following day met his partners, at their banking house, which was an exceedingly stylish affair. The result was, I became a partner in the concern-a silent partner, with the name and t.i.tle of General Roger Sherman Potter, Prig holding it good policy to retain the Sherman, that being a name of great weight in the banking world.