Paul Kelver Part 51

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"But is it worth it all?" I suggested. "Surely you have enough?"

"It means power, Paul." He slapped his trousers pocket, making the handful of gold and silver he always carried there jingle musically. "It is this that rules the world. My children shall be big pots, hobn.o.b with kings and princes, slap them on the back and call them by their Christian names, be kings themselves--why not? It's happened before.

My children, the children of old Noel Hasluck, son of a Whitechapel butcher! Here's my pedigree!" Again be slapped his tuneful pocket.

"It's an older one than theirs! It's coming into its own at last! It's money--we men of money--that are the true kings now. It's our family that rules the world--the great money family; I mean to be its head."

The blaze died out, leaving the room almost in darkness, and for awhile we sat in silence.



"Quiet, isn't it?" said old Hasluck, raising his head.

The settling of the falling embers was the only sound about us.

"Guess we'll always be like this, now," continued old Hasluck. "Old woman goes to bed, you see, immediately after dinner. It used to be different when _she_ was about. Somehow, the house and the lackeys and all the rest of it seemed to be a more natural sort of thing when _she_ was the centre of it. It frightens the old woman now she's gone. She likes to get away from it. Poor old Susan! A little country inn with herself as landlady and me fussing about behind the bar; that was always her ambition, poor old girl!"

"You will be visiting them," I suggested, "and they will be coming to stop with you."

He shook his head. "They won't want me, and it isn't my game to hamper them. I never mix out of my cla.s.s. I've always had sense enough for that."

I laughed, wis.h.i.+ng to cheer him, though I knew he was right. "Surely your daughter belongs to your own cla.s.s," I replied.

"Do you think so?" he asked, with a grin. "That's not a pretty compliment to her. She was my child when she used to cling round my neck, while I made the sausages, calling me her dear old pig. It didn't trouble her then that I dropped my aitches and had a greasy skin. I was a Whitechapel butcher, and she was a Whitechapel brat. I could have kept her if I'd liked, but I was set upon making a lady of her, and I did it.

But I lost my child. Every time she came back from school I could see she despised me a little more. I'm not blaming her; how could she help it? I was making a lady of her, teaching her to do it; though there were moments when I almost hated her, felt tempted to s.n.a.t.c.h her back to me, drag her down again to my level, make her my child again, before it was too late. Oh, it wasn't all unselfishness; I could have done it. She would have remained my cla.s.s then, would have married my cla.s.s, and her children would have been my cla.s.s. I didn't want that. Everything's got to be paid for. I got what I asked for; I'm not grumbling at the price.

But it ain't cheap."

He rose and knocked the ashes from his pipe. "Ring the bell, Paul, will you?" he said. "Let's have some light and something to drink. Don't take any notice of me. I've got the hump to-night."

It was a minute or two before the lamp came. He put his arm upon my shoulder, leaning upon me somewhat heavily.

"I used to fancy sometimes, Paul," he said, "that you and she might have made a match of it. I should have been disappointed for some things. But you'd have been a bit nearer to me, you two. It never occurred to you, that, I suppose?"

CHAPTER VII.

HOW PAUL SET FORTH UPON A QUEST.

Of old Deleglise's Sunday suppers, which, costumed from head to foot in spotless linen, he cooked himself in his great kitchen, moving with flushed, earnest face about the gleaming stove, while behind him his guests waited, ranged round the ma.s.sive oaken table glittering with cut gla.s.s and silver, among which fluttered the deft hands of Madeline, his ancient whitecapped Bonne, much has been already recorded, and by those possessed of greater knowledge. They who sat there talking in whispers until such time as old Deleglise turned towards them again, radiant with consciousness of success, the savoury triumph steaming between his hands, when, like the sudden swell of the Moonlight Sonata, the talk would rush once more into a roar, were men whose names were then--and some are still--more or less household words throughout the English-speaking world. Artists, musicians, actors, writers, scholars, droles, their wit and wisdom, their sayings and their doings must be tolerably familiar to readers of memoir and biography; and if to such their epigrams appear less brilliant, their jests less laughable than to us who heard them spoken, that is merely because fas.h.i.+on in humour and in understanding changes as in all else.

You, gentle reader of my book, I shall not trouble with second-hand record of that which you can read elsewhere. For me it will be but to write briefly of my own brief glimpse into that charmed circle.

Concerning this story more are the afternoon At Homes held by Dan and myself upon the second floor of the old Georgian house in pleasant, quiet Queen Square. For cook and house-maid on these days it would be a busy morning. Failing other supervision, Dan and I agreed that to secure success on these important occasions each of us should criticise the work of the other. I pa.s.sed judgment on Dan's cooking, he upon my house-work.

"Too much soda," I would declare, sampling the cake.

"You silly Juggins! It's meant to taste of soda--it's a soda cake."

"I know that. It isn't meant to taste of nothing but soda. There wants to be some cake about it also. This thing, so far as flavour is concerned, is nothing but a Seidlitz powder. You can't give people solidified Seidlitz powders for tea!"

Dan would fume, but I would remain firm. The soda cake would be laid aside, and something else attempted. His cookery was the one thing Dan was obstinate about. He would never admit that anything could possibly be wrong with it. His most ghastly failures he would devour himself later on with pretended enjoyment. I have known him finish a sponge cake, the centre of which had to be eaten with a teaspoon, declaring it was delicious; that eating a dry sponge cake was like eating dust; that a sponge cake ought to be a trifle syrupy towards the centre. Afterwards he would be strangely silent and drink brandy out of a wine-gla.s.s.

"Call these knives clean?" It would be Dan's turn.

"Yes, I do."

Dan would draw his finger across one, producing chiaro-oscuro.

"Not if you go fingering them. Why don't you leave them alone and go on with your own work?"

"You've just wiped them, that's all."

"Well, there isn't any knife-powder."

"Yes, there is."

"Besides, it ruins knives, over-cleaning them--takes all the edge off.

We shall want them pretty sharp to cut those lemon buns of yours."

"Over-cleaning them! You don't take any pride in the place."

"Good Lord! Don't I work from morning to night?"

"You lazy young devil!"

"Makes one lazy, your cooking. How can a man work when he is suffering all day long from indigestion?"

But Dan would not be content until I had found the board and cleaned the knives to his complete satisfaction. Perhaps it was as well that in this way all things once a week were set in order. After lunch house-maid and cook would vanish, two carefully dressed gentlemen being left alone to receive their guests.

These would be gathered generally from among Dan's journalistic acquaintances and my companions of the theatre. Occasionally, Minikin and Jarman would be of the number, Mrs. Peedles even once or twice arriving breathless on our landing. Left to myself, I perhaps should not have invited them, deeming them hardly fitting company to mingle with our other visitors; but Dan, having once been introduced to them, overrode such objection.

"My dear Lord Chamberlain," Dan would reply, "an ounce of originality is worth a ton of convention. Little tin ladies and gentlemen all made to pattern! One can find them everywhere. Your friends would be an acquisition to any society."

"But are they quite good form?" I hinted.

"I'll tell you what we will do," replied Dan. "We'll forget that Mrs.

Peedles keeps a lodging-house in Blackfriars. We will speak of her as our friend, 'that dear, quaint old creature, Lady P.' A t.i.tle that is an oddity, whose costume always suggests the wardrobe of a provincial actress! My dear Paul, your society novelist would make a fortune out of such a character. The personages of her amusing anecdotes, instead of being third-rate theatrical folk, shall be Earl Blank and the Baroness de Dash. The editors of society journals shall pay me a s.h.i.+lling a line for them. Jarman--yes, Jarman shall be the son of a South American millionaire. Vulgar? Nonsense! you mean racy. Minikin--he looks much more like forty than twenty--he shall be an eminent scientist. His head will then appear the natural size; his gla.s.s eye, the result of a chemical experiment, a touch of distinction; his uncompromising rudeness, a lovable characteristic. We will make him buy a yard of red ribbon and wear it across his s.h.i.+rt-front, and address him as Herr Professor. It will explain slight errors of English grammar and all peculiarities of accent. They shall be our lions. You leave it to me. We will invite commonplace, middle-cla.s.s folk to meet them."

And this, to my terror and alarm, Dan persisted in doing. Jarman entered into the spirit of the joke with gusto. So far as he was concerned, our guests, from the beginning to the end, were one and all, I am confident, deceived. The more he swaggered, the more he boasted, the more he talked about himself--and it was a failing he was p.r.o.ne to--the greater was his success. At the persistent endeavours of Dan's journalistic acquaintances to excite his cupidity by visions of new journals, to be started with a mere couple of thousand pounds and by the inherent merit of their ideas to command at once a circulation of hundreds of thousands, I could afford to laugh. But watching the tremendous efforts of my actress friends to fascinate him--luring him into corners, gazing at him with languis.h.i.+ng eyes, trotting out all their little tricks for his exclusive benefit, quarrelling about him among themselves--my conscience would p.r.i.c.k me, lest our jest should end in a contretemps.

Fortunately, Jarman himself, was a gentleman of uncommon sense, or my fears might have been realised. I should have been sorry myself to have been asked to remain stone under the blandishments of girls young and old, of women handsome and once, no doubt, good looking, showered upon him during that winter. But Jarman, as I think I have explained, was no slave to female charms. He enjoyed his good time while it lasted, and eventually married the eldest daughter of a small blacking factory. She was a plain girl, but pleasant, and later brought to Jarman possession of the factory. When I meet him--he is now stout and rubicund--he gives me the idea of a man who has attained to his ideals.

With Minikin we had more trouble. People turned up possessed of scientific smattering. We had to explain that the Professor never talked shop. Others were owners of unexpected knowledge of German, which they insisted upon airing. We had to explain that the Herr Professor was in London to learn English, and had taken a vow during his residence neither to speak nor listen to his native tongue. It was remarked that his acquaintance with colloquial English slang, for a foreigner, was quite unusual. Occasionally he was too rude, even for a scientist, informing ladies, clamouring to know how he liked English women, that he didn't like them silly; telling one gentleman, a friend of Dan, a rather important man who once asked him, referring to his yard of ribbon, what he got it for, that he got it for fourpence. We had to explain him as a gentleman who had been soured by a love disappointment. The ladies forgave him; the gentlemen said it was a d.a.m.ned lucky thing for the girl. Altogether, Minikin took a good deal of explaining.

Lady Peedles, our guests decided among themselves, must be the widow of some one in the City who had been knighted in a crowd. They made fun of her behind her back, but to her face were most effusive. "My dear Lady Peedles" was the phrase most often heard in our rooms whenever she was present. At the theatre "my friend Lady Peedles" became a person much spoken of--generally in loud tones. My own social position I found decidedly improved by reason of her ladys.h.i.+p's evident liking for myself. It went abroad that I was her presumptive heir. I was courted as a gentleman of expectations.

The fishy-eyed young man became one of our regular guests. Dan won his heart by never laughing at him.

"I like talking to you," said the fishy-eyed young man one afternoon to Dan. "You don't go into fits of laughter when I remark that it has been a fine day; most people do. Of course, on the stage I don't mind. I know I am a funny little devil. I get my living by being a funny little devil. There is a photograph of me hanging in the theatre lobby. I saw a workman stop and look at it the other day as he pa.s.sed; I was just behind him. He burst into a roar of laughter. 'Little--! He makes me laugh to look at him!' he cluttered to himself. Well, that's all right; I want the man in the gallery to think me funny, but it annoys me when people laugh at me off the stage. If I am out to dinner anywhere and ask somebody to pa.s.s the mustard, I never get it; instead, they burst out laughing. I don't want people to laugh at me when I am having my dinner.

I want my dinner. It makes me very angry sometimes."

"I know," agreed Dan, sympathetically. "The world never grasps the fact that man is a collection, not a single exhibit. I remember being at a house once where the chief guest happened to be a great Hebrew scholar.

One tea time, a Miss Henman, pa.s.sing the b.u.t.ter to some one in a hurry, let it slip out of her hand. 'Why is Miss Henman like a caterpillar?'

asked our learned guest in a sepulchral voice. n.o.body appeared to know.

Paul Kelver Part 51

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Paul Kelver Part 51 summary

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