The Gentleman: A Romance of the Sea Part 31

The track led up and up. He dared not look down: all there was sheer now, he knew, and the sea lapping among the dead bones of the cliff.

He could not look up: to have done so, he must have craned backwards; and little thing as that might seem, it would have been enough to upset his balance on that skimpy track.

Up and up he sidled to the noise of trickling chalk, his eyes glued to the white and callous cliff. His hands were damp and chill; his back set against nothingness; his long eyelashes swept the chalk-surface.

He had a sense that the cliff was swelling itself to thrust him off.

It was alive; it was hostile. The leer he detected in the great blank face pressed against his own roused his anger. He clung the more tenaciously because of it, snarling back. G-r-r!--it shouldn't beat him--beast!

All the same his fingers were getting tired and sore. He was whimpering as he went. The great horror was overwhelming him. He shut his mind against it: still it crept in. Head swirled: brain lost grip of body: all was dissipation.

O--o--oh!

The voice of one of the Gang rose to his ears. It steadied him; recalling all that hung on him ... old Ding-dong's trust ... Nelson ... Duty....

The track led round a corner--and ran away into nothing.

Retreat along that path or headlong death--these seemed his alternatives. Of the two the latter appeared just then least horrible, as swifter, and more certain: he had no need to look down to make sure of that.

Biting his nails, he listened to his own breathing. A tiny sh.e.l.l had become incrusted in the great blind face, so close to his own. Putting out his tongue, he licked it, and hardly knew he had.

Suddenly he saw his mother. She was sitting in her particular little low chair beside the fire in the Library, reading aloud a favourite pa.s.sage from her favourite Sunday book, Gwen sprawling at her feet.

_To go back is nothing but Death_, came the familiar voice, pure and tranquil; _to go forward is fear of Death, and life everlasting beyond it. I will yet go forward_.

The book snapped softly; his mother's eyes lifted to his as she repeated,

_I will yet go forward_.

III

Yes, if there's a way!

On his right, some ten feet distant, a little table-land of gra.s.s projected from the face of the cliff--the green top of a flying b.u.t.tress, as it were.

Once there he could at least lie down and recover himself. And, unless he was mistaken, the cliff above there was no longer sheer.

But how to get there?--a ten-foot jump to be attempted off one leg at a stand and sideways.

Half-way between him and the plateau a bush with feathery green plumes grew out of a crevice overhead. Those green plumes stirred deliciously in the breeze; the little stem, thick as his wrist, and reddish of hue, thrust out st.u.r.dily over the sea. It was three feet out of reach, and above him.

He scanned the distance. Without wings he certainly could not do it.

A b.u.t.terfly settled on a purple sea-thistle close to his head. It poised there with fanning wings, so languid, so unconcerned. _It_ didn't mind.

A bitter anger surged up in the boy's heart. It was sitting there flopping its wings out of swagger--to show it had them. He'd teach it to swagger!

He put up his thumb to crush it.

Then he remembered himself. He must be just in this that might be his last moment on earth. After all the b.u.t.terfly couldn't help itself. It was made that way; and perhaps it didn't mean it. To kill it was spiteful--worthy of a girl, worthy of Gwen, as he would have told her had she been present. That would get Gwen into one of her states. His eyes twinkled, and grew haggard again.

He observed the b.u.t.terfly with extraordinary intensity. Its body and wings were the colour of the sea; the undersides of the wings a silvery-brown. The face was white, with large black eyes, and long antennae. Lovely furry down clothed body, thighs, and lower wings. On the nose two tiny horns stuck up....

He would have given all he possessed to be that b.u.t.terfly just then.

Yet after all--could the b.u.t.terfly venture for his country?--and would he if he could?

Suddenly the boy's soul broke through the darkness shrouding it, and bubbled up, a sea of twinkling, tumbling light. Standing there, clawing the cliff, death at his feet, Eternity within touch of him, he laughed.

At the crisis his humour, heaven's best gift, had saved him.

_I will yet go forward._

A k.n.o.b of chalk, swelling out of the side of the cliff, caught his eye. He saw it, and too wise to pause for thought, sprang. His foot touched the k.n.o.b. He thrust back. As he thrust, it gave beneath him, and fell with a resounding splash into the sea.

But it had done its work; and he was swinging with one hand on the stem of the green-plumed bush....

Curiously familiar this swinging in s.p.a.ce with fluttering heart....

Was it only in dreams?...

The splash of the falling boulder set the gulls screaming.

"_There!_" shrilled a voice, faint and far beneath. "_What did I tell you?_"

"_Take the boat, Red Beard, and have a look._"

Kit, swinging, heard the dip of oars. Another second and the boat would be round the Head, and he, hanging there, black against the white cliff, as easy to kill as a fly on a window-pane.

He reached up his left arm, swung once and again, and loosed his hold.

He flung through the air, the sea glancing sickeningly miles below, and landed on hands and knees on the green carpet.

_Hallowed be Thy Name._

CHAPTER XXIV

THE CLIMB

I

_"There's nowt here,"_ called a voice from below. _"A fall of the cliff belike."_

The boat put back.