At the Crossroads Part 48
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Did he know what the Point meant? Had he ever opened letters? This brought the sweat out on Maclin.
Had he copied letters with that devilish trick of his? Could he sell the Point to--to----?
Maclin could bear no longer his unanswered questions. He went back to the mines and was not seen in King's Forest for many a day.
CHAPTER XIX
Once back in the old environment, Northrup went, daily, through the sensations of his haunting dream, without the relief of awakening. The corridor of closed doors was an actuality to him now. Behind them lay experiences, common enough to most men, undoubtedly, but, as yet, unrevealed to him.
In one he had dwelt for a brief time--good Lord! had it only been for weeks? Well, the memory, thank heaven, was secure; unblemished. He vowed that he would reserve to himself the privilege of returning, in thought, to that memory-haunted sanctuary as long as he might live, for he knew, beyond any doubt, that it could not weaken his resolve to take up every duty that he had for a time abandoned. It should be with him as Manly had predicted.
This line of thought widened Northrup's vision and developed a new tie between him and other men. He found himself looking at them in the street with awakened interest. He wondered how many of them, stern, often hard-featured men, had realized their souls in private or public life, and how had they dealt with the revelation? He grew sensitive as to expressions; he believed, after a time, that he could estimate, by the look in the eyes of his fellowmen, by the set of their jaws, whether they had faced the ordeal, as he was trying to do, or had denied the soul acceptance. It was like looking at them through a magnifying lens where once he had regarded them through smoked gla.s.s.
And the women? Well, Northrup was very humble about women in those days. He grew restive when he contemplated results and pondered upon the daring that had a.s.sumed responsibility where complete understanding had never been attempted. It seemed, in his introspective state, that G.o.d, even, had been cheated. Women were, he justly concluded, pretty much a response to ideals created for them, not by them.
Mary-Clare was having her way with Northrup!
Something of all this crept into his book for, after a fortnight at home, he set his own jaw and lips rather grimly, went to his small office room in the tower of a high building, and paid the elevator boy a goodly sum for acting as buffer during five holy hours of each day.
It was like being above the world, sitting in that eyrie nook of his.
Northrup often recalled a day, years before, when he had stood on a mountain-peak bathed in stillness and sunlight, watching the dramatic play of the elements on the scene below. Off to the right a violent shower spent itself mercilessly; to the left, rolling mists were parting and revealing pleasant meadows and cl.u.s.tering hamlets. And with this recollection, Northrup closed his eyes and, from his silent watch tower, saw, as no earthly thing could make him see, the hideous tragedy across the seas.
Since his return his old unrest claimed him. It was blotting out all that he had believed was his--ideals; the meaning of life; love; duty; even his city--_his_--was threatened. Nothing any longer seemed safe unless it were battled for. There was something he owed--what was it?
Try as he valiantly did, Northrup could put little thought in his work--it eluded him. He began, at first unconsciously, to plan for going away, while, consciously, he deceived himself by thinking that he was readjusting himself to his own widened niche in the wall!
When Northrup descended from his tower, he became as other men and the grim lines of lips and jaws relaxed. He was with them who first caught the wider vision of brotherhood.
At once, upon his return, he had taken Manly into his confidence about his mother, and that simple soul brushed aside the sentimental rubbish with which Kathryn had cluttered the situation.
"It's all d.a.m.ned rot, Brace," he snapped. "You had a grandmother who did work that was never meant for women to do--laid a carpet or tore one up, I forget which, I heard the story from my father--and she developed cancer--more likely it wasn't cancer--I don't think my father was ever sure. But, good Lord! why should her descendants inherit an accident? I thought I'd talked your mother out of that nonsense."
Thus rea.s.sured, Northrup told Kathryn that all the secret diplomacy was to be abandoned and that his mother must work with them.
"But, Brace dear, you don't blame me for my fright? I was so worried!"
"No, little girl, you were a trump. I'll never forget how you stood by!"
So Helen Northrup put herself in Manly's hands--those strong, faithful hands. She went to a hospital for various tests. She was calm but often afraid. She sometimes looked at the pleasant, thronged streets and felt a loneliness, as if she missed herself from among her kind.
Manly pooh-poohed and shrugged his broad shoulders.
"Women! women!" he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed, but there were hours when he, too, had his fears.
But in the end, black doubt was driven away.
"Of course, my dear lady," Manly said relievedly, patting her hand, "we cannot sprint at fifty-odd as we did at twenty. But a more leisurely gait is enjoyable and we can take time to look around at the pleasant things; do the things we've always wanted to do--but didn't have time to do. Brace must get married--he'll have children and you'll begin all over with them. Then I'd like to take in some music with you this winter. I've rather let my pet fads drop from sheer loneliness. Let's go to light opera--we're all getting edgy over here.
I tell you, Helen, it's up to us older fry to steer the youngsters away from what does not concern them."
Poor Manly! He could not deafen his conscience to the growing call from afar and already he saw the trend. So he talked the more as one does to keep his courage up in grave danger.
With his anxiety about Helen Northrup removed, Manly gave attention to Brace. Brace puzzled him. He acknowledged that Northrup had never looked better; the trip had done wonders for him. Yes; that was it--something rather wonderful had been done.
He attacked Northrup one day in his sledge-hammer style.
"What in thunder has got mixed up in your personality?" he asked.
"Oh! I suppose anxiety about Mother, Manly. And the thought that I had slipped from under my responsibilities. Had she died--well! it's all right now."
But this did not satisfy Manly.
"Hang it all, I don't mean anxiety," he blurted out. "The natural stuff I can estimate and label. But you look somehow as if you had been switched off the side track to the main line."
"Or the other way about, old man?" Northrup broke in and laughed.
"No, sir; you're on the main line, all right; but you don't look as if you knew where you were going. Keep the headlight on, Brace."
"Thanks, Manly; I do not fully understand just where I may land, but I'm going slow. Now this--this horror across seas----" Always it was creeping in, these days.
"Oh! that's their business, Northrup. They're always sc.r.a.pping--this isn't our war, old man," Manly broke in roughly, but Northrup shook his head.
"Manly, I cannot look at it as a war--just a plain war, you know. I've had a queer experience that I will tell you about some day, but it convinced me that above all, and through all, there is a Power that forces us, often against our best-laid plans, and I believe that Power can force the world as well. Manly, take it from me, this is no sc.r.a.p over there, it's a soul-finder; a soul-creator, more like. Before we get through, a good many nations and men will be compelled to look, as you once did, at bare, gaunt souls or"--a pause--"set to work and make souls."
Manly twisted in his seat uneasily. Northrup went on.
"Manly"--he spoke quietly, evenly--"do you remember our last talk in this office before I left?"
"Well, some of it. Yes."
"Jogs, you know. Mountain peaks, baby hands, women faces, and souls?"
"Oh! yes. Sick talk to a sick man." Manly snapped his fingers.
"Manly, what did you mean by saying that you had once seen your soul?"
Northrup was in dead earnest. Manly swung around in his swivel chair.
"I meant that I saw mine once," he said sharply, definitely.
"How did it look?"
"As if I had neglected it. A shrunken, s.h.i.+vering thing." Manly stopped suddenly, then added briefly: "You cannot starve that part of you, Northrup, without a get-back some day."
"No. And that's exactly what I am up against--the get-back!"
After that talk with Manly, Northrup, singularly enough, felt as if he had arrived at some definite conclusion; had received instructions as to his direction. He was quietly elated and, sitting in his office, experienced the peace and satisfaction of one who spiritually submits to a higher Power.
At the Crossroads Part 48
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At the Crossroads Part 48 summary
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