Ishmael; Or, In the Depths Part 134
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He stirred, opened his eyes, rolled them heavily, became half conscious of someone weeping over him, turned clumsily and relapsed into insensibility.
At his first motion Bee had sprung up and fled from the arbor, at the door of which she stood, with throbbing heart, watching him, through the vines. She saw that he had again fallen into that deep and comatose sleep. And she saw that his flushed and fevered face was more than ever exposed to the rays of the sun and the plague of the flies. And she crept cautiously back again, and drew her handkerchief from her pocket and laid it over his face, and turned and hurried, broken-spirited from the spot.
She gained her own room and threw herself into her chair in a pa.s.sion of tears and sobs.
Nothing that had ever happened in all her young life had ever grieved her anything like this. She had loved Ishmael with all her heart, and she knew that Ishmael loved Claudia with all of his; but the knowledge of this fact had never brought to her the bitter sorrow that the sight of Ishmael's condition had smitten her with this afternoon. For there was scarcely purer love among the angels in heaven than was that of Beatrice for Ishmael. First of all she desired his good; next his affection; next his presence; but there was scarcely selfishness enough in Bee's nature to wish to possess him all for her own.
First his good! And here, weeping, sobbing, and praying by turns, she resolved to devote herself to that object; to do all that she possibly could to s.h.i.+eld him from the suspicion of this night's event; and to save him from falling into a similar misfortune.
She remained in her own room until tea-time, and then bathed her eyes, and smoothed her hair, and went down to join the family at the table.
"Well, Bee," said the judge, "have you found Ishmael yet?"
Bee hesitated, blushed, reflected a moment, and then answered:
"Yes, uncle; he is sleeping; he is not well; and I would not have him disturbed if I were you; for sleep will do him more good than anything else."
"Certainly. Why, Bee, did you ever know me to have anybody waked up in the whole course of my life? Powers, and the rest of you, hark ye: Let no one call Mr. Worth. Let him sleep until the last trump sounds, or until he wakes up of his own accord!"
Powers bowed, and said he would see the order observed.
Soon after tea was over, the family, fatigued with the day's excitement, retired to bed.
Bee went up to her room in the back attic; but she did not go to bed, or even undress, for she knew that Ishmael was locked out; and so she threw a light shawl around her, and seated herself at the open back window, which from its high point of view commanded every nook and cranny of the back grounds, to watch until Ishmael should wake up and approach the house, so that she might go down and admit him quietly, without disturbing the servants and exciting their curiosity and conjectures. No one should know of Ishmael's misfortune, for she would not call it fault, if any vigilance of hers could s.h.i.+eld him. All through the still evening, all through the deep midnight, Bee sat and watched.
When Ishmael had fallen asleep, the sun was still high above the Western horizon; but when he awoke the stars were s.h.i.+ning.
He raised himself to a sitting posture, and looked around him, utterly bewildered and unable to collect his scattered faculties, or to remember where he was, or how he came there, or what had occurred, or who he himself really was--so deathlike had been his sleep.
He had no headache; his previous habits had been too regular, his blood was too pure, and the brandy was too good for that. He was simply bewildered, but utterly bewildered, as though he had waked up in another world.
He was conscious of a weight upon his heart, but could not remember the cause of it; and whether it was grief or remorse, or both, he could not tell. He feared that it was both.
Gradually memory and misery returned to him; the dreadful day; the marriage; the feast; the parting; the lawsuit; the two gla.s.ses of brandy, and their mortifying consequences. All the events of that day lay clearly before him now--that horrible day begun in unutterable sorrow, and ended in humiliating sin!
Was it himself, Ishmael Worth, who had suffered this sorrow, yielded to this temptation, and fallen into this sin? To what had his inordinate earthly affections brought him? He was no longer "the chevalier without fear and without reproach." He had fallen, fallen, fallen!
He remembered that when he had sunk to sleep the sun was s.h.i.+ning and smiling all over the beautiful garden, and that even in his half-drowsy state he had noticed its glory. The sun was gone now. It had set upon his humiliating weakness. The day had given up the record of his sin and pa.s.sed away forever. The day would return no more to reproach him, but its record would meet him in the judgment.
He remembered that once in his deep sleep he had half awakened and found what seemed a weeping angel bending over him, and that he had tried to rouse himself to speak; but in the effort he had only turned over and tumbled into a deeper oblivion than ever.
Who was that pitying angel visitant?
The answer came like a shock of electricity. It was Bee! Who else should it have been? It was Bee! She had sought him out when he was lost; she had found him in his weakness; she had dropped tears of love and sorrow over him.
At that thought new shame, new grief, new remorse swept in upon his soul.
He sprang upon his feet, and in doing so dropped a little white drift upon the ground. He stooped and picked it up.
It was the fine white handkerchief that on first waking up he had plucked from his face. And he knew by its soft thin feeling and its delicate scent of violets, Bee's favorite perfume, that it was her handkerchief, and she had spread it as a veil over his exposed and feverish, face. That little wisp of cambric was redolent of Bee! of her presence, her purity, her tenderness.
It seemed a mere trifle; but it touched the deepest springs of his heart, and, holding it in both his hands, he bowed his humbled head upon it and wept.
When a man like Ishmael weeps it is no gentle summer shower, I a.s.sure you; but as the breaking up of great fountains, the rus.h.i.+ng of mighty torrents, the coming of a flood.
He wept long and convulsively. And his deluge of tears relieved his surcharged heart and brain and did him good. He breathed more freely; he wiped his face with this dear handkerchief, and then, all dripping wet with tears as it was, he pressed it to his lips and placed it in his bosom, over his heart, and registered a solemn vow in Heaven that this first fault of his life should also, with G.o.d's help, be his last.
Then he walked forth into the starlit garden, murmuring to himself:
"By a woman came sin and death into the world, and by a woman came redemption and salvation. Oh, Claudia, my Eve, farewell! farewell! And Bee, my Mary, hail!"
The holy stars no longer looked down reproachfully upon him; the harmless little insect-choristers no longer mocked him; love and forgiveness beamed down from the pure light of the first, and cheering hope sounded in the gleeful songs of the last.
Ishmael walked up the gravel-walk between the shrubbery and the house.
Once, when his face was towards the house, he looked up at Bee's back window. It was open, and he saw a white, shadowy figure just within it.
Was it Bee?
His heart a.s.sured him that it was; and that anxiety for him had kept her there awake and watching.
As he drew near the house, quite uncertain as to how he should get in, he saw that the shadowy, white figure disappeared from the window; and when he went up to the back door, with the intention of rapping loudly until he should wake up the servants and gain admission, his purpose was forestalled by the door being softly opened by Bee, who stood with a shaded taper behind it.
"Oh, Bee!"
"Oh, Ishmael!"
Both spoke at once, and in a tone of irrepressible emotion.
"Come in, Ishmael," she next said kindly.
"You know, Bee?" he asked sadly, as he entered.
"Yes, Ishmael! Forgive me for knowing, for it prevented others finding out. And your secret could not rest safer, or with a truer heart than mine."
"I know it, dear Bee! dear sister, I know it. And Bee, listen! That gla.s.s of brandy was only the third of any sort of spirituous liquor that I ever tasted in my life. And I solemnly swear in the presence of Heaven and before you that it shall be the very last! Never, no, never, even as a medicine, will I place the fatal poison to my lips again."
"I believe you, Ishmael. And I am very happy. Thank G.o.d!" she said, giving him her hand.
"Dear Bee! Holy angel! I am scarcely worthy to touch it," he said, bowing reverently over that little white hand.
"'There shall be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, than over ninety and nine just persons who need no repentance.' Good-night, Ishmael!" said Bee sweetly, as she put the taper in his hand and glided like a spirit from his presence.
She was soon sleeping beside her baby sister.
And Ishmael went upstairs to bed. And the troubled night closed in peace.
The further career of Ishmael, together with the after fate of all the characters mentioned in this work, will be found in the sequel to and final conclusion of this volume, ent.i.tled, "Self-Raised; or, From the Depths."
Ishmael; Or, In the Depths Part 134
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Ishmael; Or, In the Depths Part 134 summary
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