Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas Part 19

[PREFATORY NOTE.--The original t.i.tle--_Mester-Pjil-drogster Herdal_--would sound a trifle too uncouth to the Philistine ear, and is therefore modified as above, although the term "drogster," strictly speaking, denotes a pract.i.tioner who has not received a regular diploma].

ACT FIRST

_An elegantly furnished drawing-room at_ Dr. HERDAL'S. _In front, on the left, a console-table, on which is a large round bottle full of coloured water. On the right a stove, with a banner-screen made out of a richly-embroidered chest-protector. On the stove, a stethoscope and a small galvanic battery. In one corner, a hat and umbrella stand: in another, a desk, at which stands_ SENNA BLAKDRAF, _making out the quarterly accounts. Through a gla.s.s-door at the back is seen the Dispensary, where_ RuBUB KALOMEL _is seated, occupied in rolling a pill. Both go on working in perfect silence for four minutes and a half._

DR. HAUSTUS HERDAL.

[_Enters through hall-door; he is elderly, with a plain sensible countenance, but slightly weak hair and expression._] Come here Miss Blakdraf. [_Hangs up hat, and throws his mackintosh on a divan._] Have you made out all those bills yet?

[_Looks sternly at her._

SENNA.

[_In a low hesitating voice._] Almost. I have charged each patient with three attendances daily. Even when you only dropped in for a cup of tea and a chat. [_Pa.s.sionately._] I felt I _must_--I _must_!

DR. HERDAL.

[_Alters his tone, clasps her head in his hands, and whispers._] I wish you could make out the bills for me, _always_.

SENNA.

[_In nervous exaltation._] How lovely that would be! Oh, you are so unspeakably good to me! It is too enthralling to be here!

[_Sinks down and embraces his knees._

DR. HERDAL.

So I've understood. [_With suppressed irritation._] For goodness' sake, let go my legs! I do _wish_ you wouldn't be so confoundedly neurotic!

[Ill.u.s.tration: "For goodness' sake, let go my legs!"]

RuBUB.

[_Has risen, and comes in through gla.s.s-door, breathing with difficulty; he is a prematurely bald young man of fifty-five, with a harelip, and squints slightly._] I beg pardon, Dr. Herdal, I see I interrupt you.

[_As_ SENNA _rises_.] I have just completed this pill. Have you looked at it?

[_He offers it for inspection, diffidently._

DR. HERDAL.

[_Evasively._] It appears to be a pill of the usual dimensions.

RuBUB.

[_Cast down._] All these years you have never given me one encouraging word! _Can't_ you praise my pill?

DR. HERDAL.

[_Struggles with himself._] I--I cannot. You should not attempt to compound pills on your own account.

RuBUB.

[_Breathing laboriously._] And yet there was a time when _you_, too----

DR. HERDAL.

[_Complacently._] Yes, it was certainly a pill that came as a lucky stepping stone--but not a pill like that!

RuBUB.

[_Vehemently._] Listen! Is that your last word? _Is_ my aged mother to pa.s.s out of this world without ever knowing whether I am competent to construct an effective pill or not?

DR. HERDAL.

[_As if in desperation._] You had better try it upon your mother--it will enable her to form an opinion. Only mind--I will not be responsible for the result.

RuBUB.

I understand. Exactly as you tried _your_ pill, all those years ago, upon Dr. Ryval.

[_He bows and goes out._

DR. HERDAL.

[_Uneasily._] He said that so strangely, Senna. But tell me now--when are you going to marry him?

SENNA.

[_Starts--half glancing up at him._] I--I don't know. This year--next year--now--_never_! I cannot marry him ... I cannot--I _cannot_--it is so utterly impossible to leave you!

DR. HERDAL.

Yes, I can understand _that_. But, my poor Senna, hadn't you better take a little walk?

SENNA.

[_Clasps her hands gratefully._] How sweet and thoughtful you are to me!

I _will_ take a walk.

DR. HERDAL.

[_With a suppressed smile._] Do! And--h'm!--you needn't trouble to come back. I have advertised for a male book-keeper--they are less emotional.

Good-night, my little Senna!

SENNA.

[_Softly and quiveringly._] Good-night, Dr. Herdal!

[_Staggers out of hall-door, blowing kisses._