Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas Part 23

[_With uncontrollable emotion._] Hilda, there is not a corner of me safe from you! Yes, I see now that _must_ have been the way of it. Then I _was_ a troll in that, too! But isn't it terrible the price I have had to pay for it? To have a wife who---- No, I shall never roll a pill again--never, never!

HILDA.

[_Lays her head on the stove, and answers as if half asleep._] No more pills? Poor Doctor Herdal!

DR. HERDAL.

[_Bitterly._] No--nothing but cosy commonplace grey powders for a whole troop of children.

HILDA.

[_Lively again._.] Not grey powders! [_Quite seriously._] I will tell you what you shall make next. Beautiful rainbow-coloured powders that will give one a real grip on the world. Powders to make every one free and buoyant, and ready to grasp at one's own happiness, to _dare_ what one _would_. I will have you make them. I will--I _will_!

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Beautiful rainbow-coloured powders that will give one a real grip on the world!"]

DR. HERDAL.

H'm! I am not quite sure that I clearly understand. And then the ingredients----?

HILDA.

What stupid people all of you pill-doctors are, to be sure! Why, they will be _poisons_, of course!

DR. HERDAL.

Poisons? Why in the world should they be _that_?

HILDA.

[_Without answering him._] All the thrillingest, deadliest poisons--it is only such things that are wholesome, nowadays.

DR. HERDAL.

[_As if caught by her enthusiasm._] And I could colour them, too, by exposing them to rays cast through a prism. Oh, Hilda, how I have needed you all these years! For, you see, with _her_ it was impossible to discuss such things.

[_Embraces her._

MRS. HERDAL.

[_Enters noiselessly through hall-door._] I suppose, Haustus, you are persuading Miss w.a.n.gel to start by the afternoon steamer? I have bought her a pair of curling-tongs, and a packet of hairpins. The larger parcels are coming on presently.

DR. HERDAL.

[_Uneasily._] H'm! Hilda--Miss w.a.n.gel I _should_ say--is kindly going to stay on a little longer, to a.s.sist me in some scientific experiments.

You wouldn't understand them if I told you.

MRS. HERDAL.

Shouldn't I, Haustus? I daresay not.

[_The_ NEW BOOK-KEEPER _looks through the gla.s.s door of dispensary._

HILDA.

[_Starts violently and points--then in a whisper._] Who is _that?_

DR. HERDAL.

Only the new Book-keeper and a.s.sistant--a very intelligent person.

HILDA.

[_Looks straight in front of her with a far-away expression, and whispers to herself._] I thought at first it was.... But no--_that_ would be _too_ frightfully thrilling!

DR. HERDAL.

[_To himself._] I'm turning into a regular old troll now--but I can't help myself. After all, I am only an elderly Norwegian. We are _made_ like that.... Rainbow powders--_real_ rainbow powders! With Hilda!...

Oh, to have the joy of life once more!

[_Takes his temperature again as Curtain falls_.

* * * * *

ACT THIRD

[_On the right, a smart verandah, attached to_ Dr. HERDAL'S _dwelling-house, and communicating with the drawing-room and dispensary by gla.s.s doors. On the left a tumble-down rockery, with a headless plaster Mercury. In front, a lawn, with a large silvered gla.s.s globe on a stand. Chairs and tables. All the furniture is of galvanised iron. A sunset is seen going on among the trees._

DR. HERDAL.

[_Comes out of dispensary-door cautiously, and whispers._] Hilda, are you in there?

[_Taps with fingers on drawing-room door._

HILDA.

[_Comes out with a half-teasing smile._] Well--and how is the rainbow-powder getting on, Dr. Herdal?

DR. HERDAL.

[_With enthusiasm._] It is getting on simply splendidly. I sent the new a.s.sistant out to take a little walk, so that he should not be in the way. There is a.r.s.enic in the powder, Hilda, and digitalis too, and strychnine, and the best beetle-killer!

HILDA.

[_With happy, wondering eyes._] _Lots_ of beetle-killer. And you will give some of it to _her_, to make her free and buoyant. I think one really _has_ the right--when people happen to stand in the way----!

DR. HERDAL.

Yes, you may well say so, Hilda. Still--[_dubiously_]--it _does_ occur to me that such doings may perhaps be misunderstood--by the narrow-minded and conventional. [_They go on the lawn, and sit down._