Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas Part 25

DR. HERDAL.

You must believe in me utterly and entirely. I will do anything--_anything_, Hilda, to provide you with agreeable entertainment. I _will_ swallow my own powder! [_To himself, as he goes gravely up to dispensary._] If only the drugs are sufficiently adulterated!

[_Goes in; as he does so, the_ NEW a.s.sISTANT _enters the garden in blue spectacles, unseen by_ HILDA, _and follows him, leaving open the gla.s.s door._

SENNA.

[_Comes wildly out of drawing-room._] Where is dear Dr. Herdal? Oh, Miss w.a.n.gel, he has discharged me--but I can't--I simply _can't_ live away from that lovely ledger.

HILDA.

[_Jubilantly._] At this moment Dr. Herdal is in the dispensary, taking one of his own powders.

SENNA.

[_Despairingly._] But--but it is utterly impossible! Miss w.a.n.gel, you have such a firm hold of him--_don't_ let him do that!

HILDA.

I have already done all I can.

[RuBUB _appears, talking confidentially with_ MRS. HERDAL, _at gate._

SENNA.

Oh, Mrs. Herdal, Rubub! The Pill-Doctor is going to take one of his own preparations. Save him--quick!

RuBUB.

[_With cold politeness._] I am sorry to hear it--for his sake. But it would be quite contrary to professional etiquette to prevent him.

MRS. HERDAL.

And I never interfere with my husband's proceedings. I know _my_ duty, Miss Blakdraf, if _others_ don't!

HILDA.

[_Exulting with great intensity._] At last! Now I see him in there, great and free again, mixing the powder in a spoon--with jam!... Now he raises the spoon. Higher--higher still! [_A gulp is audible from within._] There, didn't you hear a harp in the air? [_Quietly._] I can't see the spoon any more. But there is one he is striving with, in blue spectacles!

THE NEW a.s.sISTANT'S VOICE.

[_Within._] The Pill-Doctor Herdal has taken his own powder!

HILDA.

[_As if petrified._] That voice! _Where_ have I heard it before? No matter--he has got the powder down! [_Waves a shawl in the air, and shrieks with wild jubilation._] It's too awfully thrilling! My--_my_ Pill-Doctor!

[Ill.u.s.tration: "My, my Pill-doctor!"]

THE NEW a.s.sISTANT.

[_Comes out on verandah._] I am happy to inform you that--as, to avoid accidents, I took the simple precaution of filling all the dispensary-jars with camphorated chalk--no serious results may be antic.i.p.ated from Dr. Herdal's rashness. [_Removes spectacles._] Nora, don't you know me?

HILDA.

[_Reflects._] I really don't remember having the pleasure---- And I'm _sure_ I heard a harp in the air!

MRS. HERDAL.

I fancy, Miss w.a.n.gel, it must have been merely a bee in your bonnet.

THE NEW a.s.sISTANT.

[_Tenderly._] Still the same little singing-bird! Oh, Nora, my long-lost lark!

HILDA.

[_Sulkily._] I'm _not_ a lark--I'm a bird of prey--and when I get my claws into anything----!

THE NEW a.s.sISTANT.

Macaroons, for instance? I remember your tastes of old. See, Nora!

[_Produces a paper-bag from his coat-tail pocket._] They were fresh this morning!

HILDA.

[_Wavering._] If you insist on calling me Nora, I think you must be just a little mad yourself.

THE NEW a.s.sISTANT.

We are all a little mad--in Norway. But Torvald Helmer is sane enough still to recognise his own little squirrel again! Surely, Nora, your education is complete at last--you have gained the experience you needed?

HILDA.

[_Nods slowly._] Yes, Torvald, you're right enough _there_. I have thought things out for myself, and have got clear about them. And I have quite made up my mind that Society and the Law are all wrong, and that I am right.

HELMER.

[_Overjoyed._] Then you _have_ learnt the Great Lesson, and are fit to undertake the charge of your children's education at last! You've no notion how they've grown! Yes, Nora, our marriage will be a true marriage now. You will come back to the Dolls' House, won't you?

HILDA-NORA-HELMER-w.a.n.gEL.

[_Hesitates._] Will you let me forge cheques if I do, Torvald?

HELMER.

[_Ardently._] All day. And at night, Nora, we will falsify the accounts--together!

HILDA-NORA-HELMER-w.a.n.gEL.