Boris Lensky Part 30

Now she has gone; the house has been empty for an hour. He sits near Mascha's bed as he has sat there since yesterday, and she lies there silently, with her face to the wall. It is eight o'clock. The front door bell rings--rings again. It is so long before the door is opened.

Who may it be? The kitchen maid knocks at the door.

"What is it?"

"A lady desires to speak with monsieur."

"No one can see me."

"I told her that, but she would not be denied; she desires to see monsieur. It is about something very important, she said."

"Did she, at least, give her name?"

"No, she would not; but she is certainly a distinguished lady."

"So! And she would not be denied." He draws down his mouth, scornfully.

"Where is she waiting?"

"In the drawing-room."

"Well, stay here until I come back. Do not leave the room an instant!

Do you hear? I will be back immediately."

With that he goes down-stairs.

With an angry, repellent word on his lips, he enters the drawing-room, where the chairs are disarranged and the dust lies untouched on the furniture.

A tall, slender figure comes to meet him, quickly, and at the same time hesitatingly, evidently urged forward by hearty compa.s.sion, and yet held back by that oppressing timidity and reverence with which n.o.ble natures approach a great pain. Now he sees her more distinctly, starts.

"You here?" he cries out. "What do you wish?"

"To help you," says she, simply.

"You?" He looks at her, astonished. At first he would like to deny the affair, to bring forward the fable of contagious illness which Kasin has promised to spread as the cause of the Jeliagins' flight. But Nita's face teaches him that here no deception can avail. "You know?"

he murmurs, scarcely audibly, without looking at her.

"Yes."

"And you wish to help me--you?"

The blood rushes to her cheeks. The situation is unbearable for a girl of delicate feelings; but who would be influenced by foolish prudery when it is a question of caring for a sick one whom no one else will care for?

"Has Mascha confessed to you?" she asks, softly.

"No."

"Is she perfectly conscious?"

"I do not know. She has not spoken a word since yesterday; she lies there with her face to the wall. She has a strong fever, but the doctor says it is of no importance; she will recover in two or three days.

_And I have not the courage to give her an opiate_." He says all this in an unnatural, choked voice. "You wish to help me? How will you help me?" he groans defiantly and bitterly.

"Let me speak with her," begs Nita. "We have always loved each other, she and I."

"Yes, you were very good to her, I know; she has spoken to me of you; but you will only needlessly torment her--she will not speak. And of what use is it? Nothing can be done--nothing." He stamps his foot.

"Let me go to her--I have a suspicion, a clew. It sounds trite and foolish to say so, but if any one can help you, it is I."

For a moment he hesitates; then turning to go, he cries out: "Well, come then."

She follows him across the hall, up the mud-covered stairs, to Mascha's room.

"Leave me alone with her," she begs.

And he leaves her alone; meanwhile walks up and down the corridor.

Sometimes he stops and listens. At first he hears nothing but a soft, coaxing, persuasive voice; then a sharp, involuntary cry--another----

"She will not speak, why torture her so?" he says to himself. He turns the k.n.o.b of the door. Then he hears violent weeping, opens the door, sees Nita sitting on the low bed and holding the head of the sobbing child in her lap. She motions to him to withdraw; he does it. He stands before the door and listens as one listens for the heart-beats of a person to convince one's self whether he still lives. He can hear nothing plainly, but still he listens. At first he hears nothing but the same pitiful sobs, hears a calm, caressing voice, soft, sad, compa.s.sionate. Now she is silent; he hears hoa.r.s.e, unrecognizable sounds. Is that Mascha's voice? How long she speaks--at first in short, broken sentences, then fluently; if he could only understand a word of what she says! He still listens--nothing more. Now it is Nita again who speaks, then follows a long pause, a hearty kiss, and Nita comes out in the corridor to him, very tearful, very pale.

"Well, did she confess to you?" asks Lensky, anxiously.

"Yes, but I must swear to her not to betray anything to you. Do not ask, do not torment the child. To-day is Wednesday; next Monday you shall hear from me. Until then she has promised me to make no new attempt to take her life. She will keep her word."

Herewith Nita turns to go. Suddenly she hesitates, turns once more to him: "I will only tell you it was a misfortune, it was very little her fault. I am astonished at the magnanimity which is betrayed in every word of her confession."

"It is very n.o.ble of you to think of telling me that," murmured he. "I know it was not her fault, it is only I who am to blame. That does not make the affair better."

"I hope for a good result," murmured Nita embarra.s.sedly.

"I do not," said he, harshly; then detaining her, he adds: "But it was good in you to come. The others have run away, all, as if the pest had broken out in the house; and you, you have come--you! I thank you!"

XXIX.

Mascha's confession had more deeply shocked Nita than she thought. So much touching, childish simplicity spoke from every sad word. Another would have excused herself, would have ascribed her sin to circ.u.mstances, to her seducer. This poor little sinner took all upon herself. It had happened, she did not know how; she had lost her head from anxiety and remorse on his account.

Especially the conclusion of the confession had gone to Nita's heart.

"Do you see," Maschenka had whispered still more softly than before, "formerly I knew nothing of all this; I had no suspicion; I was quite--quite stupid. But since then I have listened when the 'big people'"--she is still so childish that she speaks of adults as big people---"spoke, and I have read the newspapers and all sorts of books in the endless nights in which I could not sleep. And now I know that I am what people call--an abandoned woman." And as Nita, with consoling caresses, a.s.sured her:

"He will do his duty to you--he will--he must!" Mascha had only sobbed more violently, and murmured:

"What duty has one to a girl who runs after one, who throws herself at his head? He was so kind to me--I thought it was love, and I thought love was something so grand, beautiful. It was no love with him; it was only pity at first, and then it was scorn. Why was I so foolish? It is past. Let me put my life out of the world, and everything go on in its usual course. It was fearfully hard for me to jump into the water that time; how long ago is it? Yesterday--really yesterday! I was so afraid of death, and life seemed so beautiful to me in spite of everything.

Now that is over too; I no longer understand life."

Nita must promise her not to betray Barenburg's name to her father. "Of what use? He saved Colia's life. Colia is weaponless against him; but father--he--he would kill him. I do not wish him to be harmed; why should I? Ah, Nita, you dear, good angel! if I had only found you at home that time!"

Thus closed the little confession.

Nita has long forgotten that at first Mascha's case had caused her disgust. She no longer thinks of Lensky's horrible behavior; her whole heart is filled with pity and the strong, urgent desire to help.