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Chapter Six
After eating, Ke Luo took the initiative to gather the dishes. He went into the kitchen to wash. He was actually a rather hardworking boy.
The water sloshed, sounding very lively. Even as I hobbled, I still wanted to follow on over. I leaned against the door, displaying a rather natural and unrestrained pose.
“How was last night?”
“Hm?” Ke Luo slightly tilted his head. The facial lines of his right profile were truly good-looking.
“Did you feel good last night?” I asked him point blank.
His face immediately flushed. Slanting his eyes, he stared at me. That expression made me breathless. Why can’t I top such creature?
“What’s the matter? Perhaps you didn’t feel good at all?”
“…no.” Ke Luo slightly pouted and continued to wash his bowl.
“Hah, you didn’t feel good even though you did it so many times?” d.a.m.n you.
Once again, Ke Luo’s face turned deep red. He wiped the plates in silence.
I suffered upon seeing his uncomfortable appearance. If I don’t make a comeback, that would be way too much of a loss for me.
“Let me tell you, if a man is too stubborn, sooner or later he’ll be driven to death.”
Ke Luo didn’t even give me a glance. “It’s none of your business.”
“How can it be none of my business?” I refused to leave the matter at that. “Did you forget what our relations.h.i.+p is?”
“What relations.h.i.+p could I have had with you?”
Not even an hour had pa.s.sed since getting up from bed and this brat’s memory was already so bad.
Like a villain suing his victim before he himself was prosecuted, I said, “If you stay hard-mouthed, I’ll tell your Uncle Lu that you actually forced me, doing this and that.”
Ke Luo dried his dripping hands and became serious with me. “It was you who had first attacked me.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “The way you were like afterwards doesn’t count as self-defense, right?”
“Wasn’t that because you really wanted to do it with me?”
My face immediately heated up a little. “Hah, you dare say that you don’t have the slightest interest in me?”
“I never did.”
I laughed. The cause may have been from catching a cold, so my nose was a bit stuffy.
“No need for interest. Having s.e.xual…interest will do.” I particularly stressed the word ‘s.e.xual.’ “You still haven’t tried a taste of what being on the bottom is like. Let me take you once. I promise I’ll make you-”
My self-promotion was presented midway when I suddenly couldn’t suppress the itch in my nose, and I let out a tremendous sneeze directed at his face.
Ke Luo was taken aback. Before he could speak, I sneezed with an alarming force a second time. After that, it was impossible to stop. One after another, I sneezed until I almost pa.s.sed out.
It seemed that I caught a cold in one evening. It was easy to catch a cold in this kind of weather. I thought I drilled my body to be much stronger. Who knew I’d hit the jackpot this fast?
Completely lacking immunity, I sneezed more than a dozen times in a row. A strand of clear liquid dripped down from my nose. It was too late to sniff it back up. I was stricken with raging humiliation on the spot.
Ke Luo chuckled as he brought over the dish cloth and wiped my nose clean. He folded the cloth and pinched my nose. “Here, blow your nose.”
Like a kindergarten kid blowing his nose at the hands of someone, I felt crestfallen.
Ke Luo withdrew his hand and washed the dish cloth, silent for a while. He suddenly spoke up, “Mo Yan.”
Being called as so, my entire body felt uncomfortable. “Change the way you address me.”
“Uncle Lee.”
“…”
“Uncle Lee, you’re a very good man. You’re intelligent, charismatic…”
“Stop.” I knew where he was going for next. I detest the ‘you’re great, but I can’t accept you’ consolation prize.
“Why are you telling me these things? You’ve mistaken about something. I don’t have affection for you. I never had any. We are in a—what’s it called—a purely physical relations.h.i.+p.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“That’s right. I’m very crazy for you, but that’s just a s.e.xual interest. I don’t intend to pursue you.”
“Mm-hm, then I’ll leave now.”
I was unexpectedly somewhat dissatisfied. “Wait a minute. That being said, don’t you want to think it over? You don’t need s.e.x?”
Ke Luo furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at me. “I’m not promiscuous.”
Resentful, I said, “Fine. Go then, good little kid. Do you want me to establish a chast.i.ty memorial arch for you?”
Ke Luo opened the entrance door, and I shouted behind him, “Young man, while you have the a.s.sets, play well. Don’t be too stubborn.”
Ke Luo stood at the doorway, slightly sideways.
“That beloved of yours is already blissfully happy. If you want to be regarded as a man, then simply break them up. Otherwise, bear it and find a new love. Right now, being awkward and difficult like this, are you planning to be a widow?”
Pressing his lips together, Ke Luo turned around and walked out.
I leaned against the door, beating my aching back as I felt that I had said it all too well. He wasn’t the only beautiful man in the sea. What am I doing looking for blame to receive? Did I want to be crushed in-between?
***
Although Ke Luo couldn’t be pursued, the world still had so many tender, pretty boys waiting for me to enjoy. Life was still so glorious.
I soon took notice of a young man who newly arrived in the finance department. He had just graduated from college. Red lips, white teeth, a delicate build, and a curved a.s.s.
I had bought two cans of coffee for him and took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him over a few words. Seeing him shy, I felt that it looked promising, so I outright included him in my growing list.
When he delivered doc.u.ments to my office, I chatted with him here and there as I scribbled on the delivery confirmation form.
After receiving the form back, the young man carefully checked it and nervously said, “Mr. Lee, just a signature is fine. No need for you to even write down your phone number.”
Ke Luo gave me a look. I coughed. Encountering such a pure child, I didn’t know whether or not I still wanted to carry on.
Upon returning to my seat, Ke Luo even turned his head and stared at me with a hint of rebuke. I dryly laughed and, as if nothing had happened, turned on the computer screen to continue working.
In fact, Ke Luo stayed in my office regularly. That was Lu Feng’s intention, saying that he wanted him to learn things from me. It was probably from regularly facing him--the habit of it--that when I hadn’t seen him for one day, my entire body became uncomfortable.
I randomly clicked my mouse around as I looked at the big boy in front of me: a slender neck, wide shoulders, but still growing. A figure not yet complete.
I thought of the feel when I had embraced his shoulders, and my hands somewhat softened.
I pretended to play with my cell phone in order to secretly take quite a few photos of Ke Luo, mainly of his profile and back. They were stored on the computer as well as processed out and bound into an alb.u.m, which was placed in the drawers. When I couldn’t do any work, I’d take it out to have a look.
I didn’t have any other intentions. This was just like the nature of someone looking at nude magazines, an empty sense of satisfaction.
It was only l.u.s.t, just desire.
I worked until my head was spinning and my eyes blurred. Then I went out for a walk and bought a can of hot coffee, warmly putting it in my pocket. As soon as I entered the door, I saw Ke Luo standing behind my desk with something in his hand.
Startled underneath, my face remained calm and collected. “What are you doing?”
“Just now, someone came for some data. You weren’t here, so I looked for it in advance.”
“Oh…”
Ke Luo raised his hand. Pinched between his fingers was the darling photo alb.u.m. “But what’s this?” I strived to remain calm. My face not flus.h.i.+ng at all.
“I don’t know either. I picked it up in the company and chucked it away. It was probably some girl who did it.”
“Is it?” He looked through it. “It’s really detailed.”
“What’s the matter? You want to sue someone?”
“No need.” He smiled. “However, I’m taking this.”
I watched helplessly at a loss for words as he placed the photo alb.u.m into his bag.
It was nothing more than a few photos, not the actual person himself. Even if they were seen and touched, so what? No need to be bothered about it.
It was no common amount of stinginess he had toward me. Losing more than half of my collectionand losing face, my interest waned. I couldn’t rise up any interest in taking photos of that man again. I saw him everyday anyway and could watch my fill.
After work, I found a restaurant and ate a fairly healthy and rich dinner. Building enough energy and dressed up from head to toe, I made myself look radiant.
I dawdled until the time was nearly up, then went to a bar and took a seat. I refused to believe that I couldn’t catch a pretty young boy at present.
I didn’t know if it was because of the saying that ‘after extreme bad luck, comes good luck,’ but tonight my luck was particularly good. I quickly found a gorgeous partner by chance.
He was a fairly pretty child, no older than twenty, the corner of his eyes and the tip of his brows had a very amorous feel, and he was sensible. I treated him to a few drinks, and, in a clear-cut manner, he reached out and half-jokingly pulled my tie. The intention was obvious.
We went to a nearby hotel and checked into a room. Right when I shut the door, he actively wrapped around me. There weren’t that many beauties that were this attentive and experienced, and I, of course, wouldn’t recklessly waste G.o.d’s gifts.
During this time, he fawningly catered to me with seasoned techniques. He also kept letting out a delicately-low moan, making my bones weak and numb.
I enjoyed a pretty good evening. Furthermore, I’d gained more confidence out of thin air. Who says I can’t find a good partner?
After the pleasure-making, I lay on the bed, exhausted. There was a somewhat meaningless feeling of laziness, but I didn’t intend to spend the night here. I would feel a bit more at ease going home to sleep. In addition, I still had to take along some files to the company tomorrow.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yeah, you carry on sleeping.”
I even affectionately kissed his forehead.
“Then…” He held out his hand from under the sheets. “…one thousand yuan.”
I immediately froze. “What?”
“Fees.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “You’re-you’re telling me…”
“I can’t not collect money when making business. This is the rule.”
“I thought we were…” I couldn’t find the words at the moment and coughed out in English, “a one night stand…”
“I sort of like you, so I gave you a discount already. It was originally at a higher price.” His expression was still so cute.
I chuckled. I didn’t need to look in the mirror to know how unattractive my face was.
I had to rely on prost.i.tutes to be able to find something like this to spend the night with. I had already plummeted to this extent.
I drew out my wallet. I counted for a while and grew more embarra.s.sed. I’d used my credit card to pay for the room fee and the rest, so I didn’t bring much cash with me. I didn’t think that beyond paying for transportation and canned coffee, I’d have to spend it on something that I can’t swipe a credit card for.
In the end, I gave Ke Luo a call.
He’d seen so many of my embarra.s.sing moments in any case. Not just with this situation, he wouldn’t speak out of turn about it. And I wasn’t close enough to other people for them to know that I’d gotten to the point of needing prost.i.tutes.
Hearing a knock on the door, I immediately went over and opened the door. The tall, young man outside automatically stepped in.
“Being in this kind of place…” His voice, upon seeing the naked upper body of a boy lazily sitting in bed, paused. Clearly, Ke Luo was slightly awkward.
Ke Luo handed me the prepared bills. I pa.s.sed them to the boy on the bed.
“Thanks.” The boy tossed a coquettish glance.
I could tell that Ke Luo was very shocked. But because the boy was still present, he reluctantly held it in and didn’t question it. It wasn’t until the boy had dressed and left the room with the money that he then opened his mouth and quite implicitly said in English, “You…paid for s.e.x?”
He was embarra.s.sed to use the mother tongue to discuss this kind of matter with me. He also didn’t use the word, ‘wh.o.r.e.’
I laughed and shrugged with a reply in English, “So what?”
Ke Luo’s face darkened. With a harsh tone and a severe expression, he said, “Are you crazy? You’re already forty years old. Shouldn’t you know how to take responsibility for yourself?”
…to actually lecture me.
“Is this the tone to use when speaking to your senior?”
He went blank, suddenly shutting his mouth.
Accepting old age and being a senior still had its advantages. I straightened my coat and stepped out the door first.
Ke Luo followed behind me at a good distance. Not speaking, I merely strode in front alone.
“Uncle Lee.”
“…” I firmly pressed for the elevator.
“Lee.”
“…”
Ke Luo slightly gasped out, “In fact, you don’t need to spend money. You haven’t gotten that bad…”
This flatterer was practically kissing my a.s.s. My face turned red and then green. “Thank you.”
“Don’t wander all over the place looking for men.”
I wasn’t starving to the point of ‘wandering all over.’ It didn’t suit me to be childish by arguing with the kid. A man such as me can only just give out an ordinary “hm.”
“You’re right. Men require s.e.x.”
Hearing him say so, I laughed aloud.
The elevator arrived. Ke Luo followed me in and pressed the hold b.u.t.ton, stopping it for a moment.
“Lee.” I felt the warm air of him standing behind me. “If you have the need from now on, then look for me.”
His voice seldom had that slight gentleness, carrying a bit of pitying comfort.
I chuckled. The elevator began to descend, and I instantly felt the weightlessness. On the wall of the elevator, I saw my face reflected from it. There wasn’t any happy expression of hitting luck. On the contrary, there was a distinct wrinkle under the right eye; a pathetic sign of aging.
It was just bad luck. I wasn’t the kind of old man that needed sympathy.
***
I actually recalled Ke Luo’s words: “If you have the need from now on, then look for me.”
I turned it over and over in my mind. In the dead of the night, I recalled it with a hint of sweet aroma.
I began to feel the sheets turn cold and thought to myself: If I have another person’s body warmth, it would be so much better.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to make love that much. I gradually lost joy in the monotonous collision of physical bodies.
I merely wanted him lying beside me. No need to really do anything. It would be fine just having contact with his arm and shoulder as I turn over.
It was strange that I’d have this kind of feeling. I seemed to have past the phase of l.u.s.tful cravings. Recently, I’d been having strange thoughts. I didn’t know whether I had struck so big that it led to the lack of s.e.x drive, or because I was approaching thirty nine with each pa.s.sing day.
I woke up to the sound of the alarm in the morning. I would always have a kind of dark feeling, as if the end was drawing near. I clung onto the bed, refusing to come out while I dazedly cursed the world in which I must go to work.
But I woke up entirely at the thought of being able to see Ke Luo at work. I got up full of energy to wash up, shave, select my clothes, and groom my hair; forcing the puffy-eyed, disheveled-haired old man to tidy up into a handsome, natural and unrestrained mature elite.
Upon arriving to work, I saw the elevator about to close from a distant and I hurried forward. “Wait-wait a minute!”
The door opened, and inside was Ke Luo waiting with a smile. What’s more, there was only him.
I immediately gathered up my energy. With my fighting spirit to the extreme, I faced the handsome, charming smile he revealed. “Morning.”
“Good morning.” He was polite. Like a gentleman, he helped carry the bag I held, which contained a large stack of files. Fixing his eyes on me, he smiled again.
Despite having lost my face before, I was still a tiny bit forthright toward Ke Luo’s entanglement. I took advantage of my old age--thinking of a way to make him stay by my side and speak to me more.
“Are you free tonight? Come to my house for dinner?”
Ke Luo’s face suddenly turned red, and he replied, “Okay.” He turned his face slightly away. His fair neck also had another layer of pinkness.
I glanced at the rather curvy a.s.s that was bundled in his well-ironed pants.
With my habits, it’s no wonder he would make an a.s.sociation with that aspect. If it was to ‘simply chat,’ that would be too embarra.s.sing to say out loud myself.
Because he was there, the dull laborious work hours became easy to endure. In my office career, one way for me to relieve fatigue was to play online card games, so I pulled Ke Luo along to accompany me. He didn’t have much interest in them, but he complied, probably due to his obedience with his elders. The two of us sat up—one in front and one behind, playing cards on the computer.
After playing for a while, he turned his head around and with a smile he put out an angry impression. “Didn’t I say that cheating by peeking at my screen is prohibited?
I grinned. “How could I have? I can’t even see your hand from here.”
“Then let’s switch seats.”
“No way. You’ll peek at mine that way!”
Ke Luo chuckled. “Letting me look back is how it should be.”
We bantered. This little guy’s strength wasn’t that weak. He restrained me with just the use of his arms. “The one who lost has to resign. How can you play so low…”
Ke Luo smiled as he let me brazenly rattle on. He suddenly lowered his head toward me.
After a spell of lightheadedness, I finally established that he really did kiss me just now.
Blood was rus.h.i.+ng to my head when I heard the cell phone rang. It wasn’t Ke Luo’s usual ringtone. Ke Luo gave out an “ah.” He immediately threw me to the side (he really did throw me) and grabbed his phone.
Hearing his voice soften, I knew who had called. Ke Luo went out to answer the phone. I continued to play cards—changing to a table full of people bustling to play. It wasn’t until one round had pa.s.sed that Ke Luo come back. His ears were completely red because of the long talk on the phone.
I continued to click my mouse while casually saying, “Doesn’t your Shu Nian have another love? Why does he keep calling you? Could he be feeling lonely and so he wants to have an affair?”
Ke Luo immediately looked up at me with severe eyes. “Don’t you say that of him.”
“Oh, you’re upset? Isn’t it a good thing for you if he has an affair?”
His face turned red, but his tone was firm. “Shu Nian isn’t that type of person.”
I chuckled. “My young friend, you’re still too inexperienced when judging people. You think he’s an angel, so he is one? A lot of people simply don’t see the same way as you. I advise you not to be so naive.”
The way he looked at me was practically with disdain. “Don’t be so sinister in the heart.”
I laughed. No longer looking at him, I lowered my head to play cards. Smiling, I felt for a cigarette to smoke out of habit.
I clearly knew that in his heart, Shu Nian was the best. Yet, I still persisted on prodding it over and over again.
Don’t tell me I like the thrill of my heart being trampled. Turned out I was actually a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t.
All day long, Ke Luo talked about Shu Nian. How kind-hearted the man is. How gentle he is. I loathed the Holy Mother-type man Ke Luo described.
In a popular novel, this type of boring protagonist would definitely be a nemesis for the type of man I am. Ultimately, he’d certainly defeat me, becoming the protagonist.
In fact, what’s so good about them? They obviously can’t do anything.
Must a man be like Cinderella, pure and innocent, to be able to win someone’s heart? I can’t learn it. No wonder Ke Luo wasn’t interested in me.
But no matter how much s.e.xuality he lacked to give, he still had to do what he had agreed on. In the evening, he’d come to my house, like usual, to be ravaged by me.
I had arranged a comfortable home with a favorable atmosphere. The flowers I’d ordered from a flower shop had also arrived. I’d sprinkled some rose petals in the bathtub. In addition, I’d prepared a table of dishes and red wine.
Of course, I didn’t cook. These were all takeout deliveries. Shu Nian was said to be all-powerful in housework, but I didn’t intend to learn from him. And I was avoiding on blowing up half the house.
When I finally heard the sound of the door key turning, I faced the mirror and touched my chin, attempting to make a devilishly charming smile. Unfortunately, since I had shaved my chin too clean with not a hair left, I couldn’t set that sort of devilish feel...
Thinking of him coming with the frame of mind of making an offering, I found it adorable.
The door opened, and sure enough, in came a fresh young, delicately rosy male beauty. He couldn’t be regarded as coming early, but it wasn’t too late as well. I could still microwave the dishes. It would be the same as enjoying a rich evening meal, and it wouldn’t affect the quality of the entire night.
Ke Luo saw the variety of dishes on the dining table and showed a look of surprise. “Have you been waiting for me to eat?”
“Ha……”
“I’ve already eaten.”
“Huh?” I instantly stuttered out, “Is-is that so?”
He looked at me. “Uh, sorry, was I wrong about something? When you told me to come for dinner, were you really referring to dinner? I thought you meant to have s.e.x…”
The smile on my face was a bit stiff. “No, no, you’re not wrong. I only had just that…uh, meaning to have s.e.x.”
“You haven’t had dinner yet, right? Do you want to eat a bit first?”
For a two people portion of dinner, I only shoved down a bit of rice and I didn’t open the wine.
Beside me, sat the person waiting to complete the bed service. All I had to do was to fill my belly up to guarantee the physical strength to make love later. Everything else was superfluous.
After eating, I quickly wiped my mouth clean and rushed to rinse my mouth. Ke Luo shed his coat off. We then entered the bedroom. Following the order, we embraced, kissed, and took off each other’s clothes.
It truly was an unadulterated need to resolve.
No matter what, I wouldn’t forget my original intention. As I caressed, I didn’t forget to remind him. “I want to be the top.”
Ke Luo chuckled. His gaze fell down on me. “Can you when you’re like this?”
Strangely enough, I was not in the mood at all. My lower part of the body couldn’t get up after kissing and caressing for so long. It was just cold, more dead than alive, without an iota of male glory.
As a result, I was, all at once, overthrown by Ke Luo, legs pulled apart. In the midst of struggling in an attempt to flip over, I was still penetrated by him.
No matter how indignant I was, the pleasure of the bodies colliding indeed existed. So logically there was a pa.s.sionate entanglement; thrusting, then climaxing, and ultimately the pulling out.
Being pressed underneath, it was difficult to breathe. I couldn’t breathe. I was somewhat dismayed. “Okay, enough.”
I’d only done it once and I was worn out. It was a tedious feeling.
Ke Luo took one glance at the wetness I had left on his abs and then at my soft resting lower part. Knowing that the task was satisfactory, he got up and went to the bathroom to rinse.
I lay down, adjusting my breathing. I ignored the pain in my rear and began to secretly look forward to the both of us falling asleep together after he’d come out from the bathroom.
In the midst of the sound of rus.h.i.+ng water, I drowsily began to fall asleep as I waited. All sounds afterwards became distant and vague. I suddenly heard someone said, “I’m leaving.”
Arousing my senses, I instantly woke up and opened my eyes to the neatly dressed young man.
“I’m going back.”
“……” I still didn’t know how to react.
He probably thought I looked uncertain, so he asked, “Hm? You want to do it again?”
I laughed and shook my head.
Ke Luo stood for a while and said, “Then if there’s nothing else, I’m going back.”
I had nothing more to say, so I smiled and said, “Yeah.” I watched him pick up his coat, pushed the door, and walked out.
Not feeling sleepy at all, I found it somewhat dull. After I waited for him to leave, I sat up, leaning halfway, and felt for a cigarette from the bedside to smoke.
f.u.c.k, what was I to him? Was I just a hole after all?
Feeling that this comparison was very amusing, I snorted and continued to enjoy my after-s.e.x cigarette. Once I finished smoking, I threw out the remainder of the cigarette and placed one hand over my eyes.
I’d occasionally wonder whether I’d cheerfully let him go if he’d really let me top him.
Did I really want to top him or was that an excuse to want something else?
Thinking like this made me feel disgusted.
I turned off the light, lay back on the bed, and pulled the sheets over my head. I started to go to sleep.
I felt tired. If sleeping alone was too lonesome, perhaps I should use money to buy one then.
Lying for a while, I was still awake. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was a mess. I had everything, yet I had nothing.
I faintly heard movement outside. It was the sound of the door k.n.o.b turning.
There was only one person besides me who could use a key to enter. I lay still under the covers and held my breath, listening to his movement.
“Have you fallen asleep yet?”
I sensed him feeling his way to the bed. “Did I wake you up?”
I mumbled a “Hn.”
“Sorry, I forgot to take something.”
Again I gave out a “Hn.” With the sheets over my head, the sound seemed to be smothered.
Ke Luo stood for a moment. “It suddenly occurred to me that there isn’t truly a reason for me to go back.”
“……”
“I could spend the night here, right?”
“……”
Beside my ears was the sound of clothes being taken off. And then a warm body slid under the covers.
Two hands embraced me from behind.
“Lee.”
“……”
“Can I have dinner here tomorrow?”
“……”
“The type that actually involves eating.”
For some reason, my eyes were a bit feverish. Maybe I should be thankful for his kindhearted comfort.
But I always felt that it was never enough.
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