Three Hours after Marriage Part 16

_Town._ That he may directly pop upon you. The trunk will be the first place he will examine, have you no presence of mind? You sit for an intrigue!

_Plot._ What shall I do?

_Town._ Fear not, you shall be invisible i th is very spot.

_Plot._ What do you mean? he's just at the door. You intend to discover me.

_Town._ Mistrust me not: You shall walk out before his face at that very door, though he bring in a hundred spies, and not one of them shall perceive you.

_Plot._ Don't trifle. Are you mad? [_knocking at the door._] Nay, now 'tis too late.

_Town._ Arm thyself with flounces, and fortify thyself with whalebone; enter beneath the cupulo of this petticoat.

_Plot._ The best security in the world! an old fellow has seldom any thing to do beneath that circ.u.mferance.

_Town._ No more but under it immediately.

[_Plotwell goes under it._

Thus Venus, when approaching foes a.s.sail, s.h.i.+elds her aeneas with a silken veil.

Enter FOSSILE.

_Town._ O my dear you come opportunely. How do you like my fancy in this new petticoat? there is something in it so odd!

_Fos._ You have another in your chest much odder. I want to see that.

_Town._ How jaunty the flounces!

_Fos._ Ay, 'tis plain she would lure me from the chest; there I shall find him.

[_aside._

_Town._ The lace! the fringe!

_Fos._ All this is nothing to the embroider'd sattin. Prithee, my dear, give me the key.

_Town._ Sure never was any thing so prettily disposed. Observe but the air of it: So _degagee_! But the lining is so charming.

[_She walks to the door, and Fossile to the trunk. Plotwell kisses her out of the top of the petticoat, and then goes off._]

[_As Fossile is cautiously opening the trunk with his sword drawn, Townley comes up to him._]

What, more of your frolicks, Mr. Fossile. What time of the moon is this?

_Fos._ This Underplot is a confounded villain, he would make me jealous of an honest civil gentleman, only for an opportunity to cuckold me himself. [_aside._] Come, my dear, forget all that is past. I know----I have proved thee virtuous. But prithee, love, leave me a moment; I expect some Egyptian rarities.

[_Exeunt severally._

ACT V.

Enter FOSSILE with a vial in his hand.

_Fos._ This is all we have for the flying dragon so celebrated by antiquity. A cheap purchase! It cost me but fifteen guineas. But the Jew made it up in the b.u.t.terfly and the spider.

Enter two porters bearing a Mummy.

Oh! here's my mummy. Set him down. I am in haste. Tell captain Bantam, I'll talk with him at the coffee-house.

[_Exit porters._

Enter two porters bearing an Alligator.

A most stupendous animal! set him down.

[_Exit porters._

Poor lady Hippokekoana's convulsions! I believe there is fatality in it, that I can never get to her. Who can I trust my house to in my absence?

Were my wife as chaste as Lucretia, who knows what an unlucky minute may bring forth! In cuckoldom, the art of attack is prodigiously improved beyond the art of defence. So far it is manifest, Underplot has a design upon my honour. For the ease of my mind, I will lock up my wife in this my musaeum, 'till my return.

Enter TOWNLEY, and SARSNET.

You will find something here, my dear, to divert yourself.

_Town._ I hate the sight of these strange creatures; but since I am Mr.

Fossiles wife, I shall endeavour to conquer my aversion.

_Foss._ Thou may'st safely be here to day, my dear; to-morrow thou shouldst no more enter this room than a pest-house. 'Tis dangerous for women that are impregnated. But poor lady Hippokekoana suffers all this while.

[_Exit Fossile with a key in his hand._

_Town._ Since he has lock'd me in, to be even with him, I'll bolt him out.

[_Plotwell dress'd like a Mummy, comes forward._

_Plot._

Thus trav'ling far from his Egyptian tomb, Thy Anthony salutes his Cleopatra.

_Town._