Three Hours after Marriage Part 18

_Poss._ Gentlemen, I affirm I have a greater curiosity than all of them.

I have an entire leaf of Noah's journal aboard the ark, that was hewen out of a porphyry pillar in Palmyra.

[_Fossile opens the case of the mummy._

_Naut._ By the formation of the muscular parts of the visage, I conjecture that this mummy is male.

_Pos._ Male, brother! I am sorry to observe your ignorance of the symetry of a human body. Do but observe the projection of the hip; besides, the bloom upon the face; 'tis a female beyond all contradiction.

_Fos._ Let us have no rash dispute, brothers; but proceed methodically----Behold the vanity of mankind! [_pointing to the mummy._]

Some Ptolemy perhaps!----

_Naut._ Who by his pyramid and pickle thought to secure to himself death immortal.

_Fos._ His pyramid, alas! is now but a wainscot case.

_Pos._ And his pickle can scarce raise him to the dignity of a collar of brawn.

_Fos._ Pardon me, Dr. Possum: The musaeum of the curious is a lasting monument. And I think it no degradation to a dead person of quality, to bear the rank of an anatomy in the learned world.

_Naut._ By your favour, Dr. Possum, a collar of brawn! I affirm, he is better to be taken inwardly than a collar of brawn.

_Fos._ An excellent medicine! he is hot in the first-degree, and exceeding powerful in some diseases of women.

_Naut._ Right, Dr. Fossile; for your Asphaltion.

_Pos._ Pice-Asphaltus, by your leave.

_Naut._ By your leave, doctor Possum, I say, Asphaltion.

_Pos._ And I positively say, Pice-Asphaltus.

_Naut._ If you had read Dioscorides or Pliny--

_Poss._ I have read Dioscorides. And I do affirm Pice-Asphaltus.

_Foss._ Be calm, Gentlemen. Both of you handle this argument with great learning, judgment, and perspicuity. For the present, I beseech you to concord, and turn your speculations on my alligator.

_Poss._ The skin is impenetrable even to a sword.

_Naut._ Dr. Possum I will show you the contrary.

[_Draws his sword._

_Poss._ In the mean time I will try the mummy with this knife, on the point of which you shall smell the pitch, and be convinc'd that it is the Pice-Asphaltus.

[_Takes up a rusty knife._

_Foss._ Hold, Sir: You will not only deface my mummy, but spoil my Roman sacrificing-knife.

Enter TOWNLEY.

_Town._ I must lure them from this experiment, or we are discover'd.

[_Aside._

[_She looks through a telescope._

What do I see! most prodigious! a star as broad as the moon in the day-time!

[_The doctors go to her._

_Poss._ Only a halo about the sun, I suppose.

_Naut._ Your suppositions, doctor, seem to be groundless. Let me make my observation.

[_Nautilus and Possum struggle to look first._

_Town._ Now for your escape:

[_To Plotwell and Underplot._

[_They run to the door, but find it lock'd._

_Underp._ What an unlucky dog I am!

_Town._ Quick. Back to your posts. Don't move, and rely upon me. I have still another artifice.

[_They run back to their places._

[_Exit Townley._

_Naut._ I can espy no celestial body but the sun.

_Poss._ Brother Nautilus, your eyes are somewhat dim; your sight is not fit for astronomical observations.

_Foss._ Is the focus of the gla.s.s right? hold gentlemen, I see it; about the bigness of Jupiter.

_Naut._ No phenomenon offers itself to my speculation.

_Poss._ Point over yonder chimney. Directly south.

_Naut._ Thitherward, begging your pardon, Dr. Possum, I affirm to be the north.

_Foss._ East.

_Poss._ South.