The Legend of Ulenspiegel Volume Ii Part 20

"I will sing one of blows, if you wish, but let me alone."

"Whom do you love here?"

"n.o.body, neither you nor the others. I will complain to the magistrates and he will have you whipped."

"Oh, indeed!" they said. "Whipped! And suppose we were to kiss you by main force before this whipping?"

"Me?" said Lamme.

"You," said they all.

And thereupon the lovely and the ugly, the fresh and the faded, the brown and the fair all rushed upon Lamme, flung his bonnet into the air, and his cloak, too, and fell to caressing him, kissing him on the cheek, the nose, the back, with all their might.

The baesine laughed between her candles.

"Help!" cried Lamme; "help, Ulenspiegel; sweep away all this rubbish. Let me go. I want none of your kisses; I am married, G.o.d's blood! and keep all for my wife."

"Married," said they; "but your wife has over much: a man of your corpulence. Give us a little. Faithful woman, 'tis well and good; a faithful man, he is a capon. G.o.d keep you! you must choose, or we shall whip you in our turn."

"I will do no such thing," said Lamme.

"Choose," said they.

"No," said he.

"Will you have me?" said a pretty, fair girl: "See, I am gentle, and I love whoever loves me."

"Let me alone," said Lamme.

"Will you have me?" said a delicious girl, who had black hair, eyes and complexion all brown, and in everything else made to perfection by the angels.

"I don't like gingerbread," said Lamme.

"And what of me, would you not take me?" said a tall girl, who had a brow almost covered by her hair, heavy eyebrows joined together, big drowned eyes, lips thick as eels and all red, and red, too, of face, neck, and shoulders.

"I don't like," said Lamme, "burnt bricks."

"Take me," said a girl of sixteen with a little squirrel face.

"I don't like nut crunchers," said Lamme.

"We must whip him," said they, "with what? Fine whips with a lash of dried hide. A sound las.h.i.+ng. The toughest skin cannot resist it. Take ten of them. Carters' and donkey drivers' whips."

"Help! Ulenspiegel!" cried Lamme.

But Ulenspiegel made no answer.

"Ye have a bad heart," said Lamme, seeking his friend on every side.

The whips were brought; two of the girls set to work to strip Lamme of his doublet.

"Alas!" said he; "my poor fat, that I had so much trouble to make, they will doubtless lift it off with their keen whips. But, pitiless females, my fat will be no use to you, not even to make sauces."

They replied:

"We shall make candles with it. Is it nothing to see clear without paying for it! She that will henceforth say that out of the whip comes forth candle will seem mad to everybody. We will uphold it to the death, and win more than one wager. Steep the rods in vinegar. There, your doublet is off. The hour is striking at Saint Jacques! Nine o'clock. At the last stroke of the clock, if you have not made your choice, we shall strike."

Lamme, paralyzed, said:

"Have pity and compa.s.sion upon me; I have sworn faithfulness to my poor wife and will keep it, although she left me in evil fas.h.i.+on. Ulenspiegel, dear friend, help!"

But Ulenspiegel did not show himself.

"See me," said Lamme to the light ladies, "see me at your knees. Is there a humbler posture? Is it not enough to say that I honour your great beauties like the very saints? Happy is he that, not being married, can enjoy your charms! 'Tis paradise, without doubt; but do not beat me, if you please."

Suddenly the baesine, who remained between her two candles, spoke in a strong and threatening voice:

"Good women and girls," said she, "I take my oath on my great devil that if, in a moment, you have not, by laughter and gentle ways, brought this man to a good mind, that is to say into your bed, I will go fetch the night watch and have you all whipped instead of him. Ye do not deserve to be called girls of amorous life if in vain you have free mouth, wanton hand, and flaming eyes to excite the males, as do the females of the glow-worms that have their lanterns but to this end. And you shall be whipped without mercy for your simpleness."

At that word the girls trembled and Lamme became joyful.

"Now, then, good women, what news bring you from the land of sharp thongs? I will myself go and fetch the watch. They will do their duty, and I shall help them with it. It will give me great pleasure."

But then a pretty little girl of fifteen threw herself at Lamme's knees:

"Messire," said she, "you see me here before you, humbly resigned; if you do not deign to choose me from among us, I must needs be beaten for you, monsieur. And the baesine there will put me into a foul cellar, under the Scheldt, where the water oozes from the wall, and where I shall have but black bread to eat."

"Will she verily be beaten for me, Madame baesine," said Lamme.

"Till the blood runs," replied she.

Lamme then, considering the girl, said: "I see thee fresh, perfumed, thy shoulder coming out from thy robe like a great petal of a white rose; I would not have this lovely skin under which the blood flows so young, suffer under the whip, nor that those eyes bright with the fire of youth should weep for the anguish of the strokes, nor that the cold of the prison should make thy body s.h.i.+ver, thy body like a love fay. And so I had rather choose thee than know that thou wert beaten."

The girl took him away. So sinned he, as he did all things in his life, through kindness of heart.

Meanwhile, Ulenspiegel and a tall handsome brown girl with curling waving hair were standing before one another. The girl, without saying a word, was looking at Ulenspiegel coquettishly and seemed not to wish to have anything to do with him.

"Love me," said he.

"Love thee," said she, "wild lover who lovest only at thine own hour?"

Ulenspiegel answered: "The bird that pa.s.ses above thy head sings his song and flies away. And so with me, sweetheart: wilt thou that we sing together?"

"Aye," said she, "a song of laughter and of tears."

And the girl flung herself on Ulenspiegel's neck.

Suddenly, as both were happy in the arms of their darlings, lo! there came into the house, to the sound of fife and drum, and jostling, pus.h.i.+ng, singing, whistling, crying, shouting, bawling, a gay company of meesevangers, who at Antwerp are t.i.tmouse catchers. They were carrying bags and cages full of these little birds, and the owls that had helped them in the sport were opening wide their eyes, gilded in the light.