Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs Part 5
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THE WOLF AT SUSAN'S DOOR
PART FIRST
MISS CLEGG'S SPECULATIONS
Mrs. Lathrop, rocking placidly in her kitchen window, was conscious of a vague sense of worry as to her friend over the fence. It appeared to her that Susan was looking more thin and peaked than nature had intended. It is true that Miss Clegg was always of a bony and nervous outline, but it seemed slowly but surely borne in upon her older friend that of late she had been rapidly becoming sharper in every way. Mrs. Lathrop felt that she ought to speak--that she ought not to lead her next door neighbor into the false belief that her sufferings were unnoticed by the affectionate spectacles forever turned her way,--and yet--Mrs. Lathrop being Mrs. Lathrop--it was only after several days of rocking and cogitation that the verbal die came to its casting.
That came to be upon a summer evening, and it came to pa.s.s across the barrier-fence where Miss Clegg had come to lean wearily, her shoulders and the corners of her mouth following the same dejected angle, while her elderly friend stood facing her with a gaze that was at once earnest, penetrating, and commiserating, and a clover blossom in her mouth.
"Susan," said Mrs. Lathrop, in a voice mournful enough to have renovated Job; "Susan, I--"
Miss Clegg shut her eyes firmly and opened them sharply.
"I 'm glad you have," she said, in a voice whose tone was divided between relief and reproach,--"I certainly am glad you have. I try to be close-mouthed 'n' never trouble any one with my affairs, Mrs. Lathrop, but I will say as I have often wondered at how you could sit 'n' rock in the face of what I 've been grinnin' 'n' bearin' these last few weeks.
Not that rockin' is any crime, 'n' I always feel it must be fine exercise for the chair, but it 's hard for one who has the wolf at their door, 'n' not only at their door, but nigh to bu'stin' it in, to see their dearest friend rockin' away, like wolf or no wolf she 'd go on forever."
Mrs. Lathrop looked aggrieved.
"Why, Susan--" she protested.
"That ain't no excuse," the friend said, not harshly but with a cold distinctness; "you may talk yourself blind if you feel so inclined, 'n'
I don't say but what you really did n't mean nothin', but the fact remains, 'n' always will remain, as you 've took a deal of comfort rockin' while I 've been kitin' broadcast tryin' to see if I could keep soul 'n' body together or whether I 'd have to let one or the other of 'em go."
Mrs. Lathrop opened her mouth and eyes widely.
"I never--" she gasped.
Susan hooked herself on to the fence-rail with both her elbows preparatory to a lengthy debate; her eyes were bright, her expression one of unreserved exposition. Mrs. Lathrop continued to keep her eyes and mouth open, but reasons which will soon be known to the reader prevented her making another remark for a long time.
"Mrs. Lathrop, I may as well begin by goin' 'way back to the beginnin'
of everythin' 'n' takin' you right in the hide and hair of my whole troubles. It ain't possible for you to realize what your rockin 's meant to me unless you understand to the full what I 've been goin' through 'n' crawlin' under these last weeks. I want to spare your feelin's all I can, for it ain't in me to be unkind to so much as a gooseberry, but I can't well see how you can keep from bein' some punched by remorse when you hear how I 've been cleanin' house with a heavy heart 'n' no new mop. That's what I 've been doin', Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' so help me Heaven, it's death or a new mop next year. The way that mop has skipped dirt 'n'
dripped water!--well, seein' is the only believin' when it comes to mops, but all I can say is that you never looked more spotty than I have since that mop, 'n' you know how lookin' spotty is mortal agony to me--me not bein' one who can be happy rockin' on top of dirt.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I said I was goin' to begin at the beginnin', so I will, although the whole town knows as it was that fine scheme of Mr.
Kimball's as set my ball bouncin' down hill. I was n't the only one as got rolled over 'n' throwed out feet up, but I don't know as bein' one of a number to lose money makes the money any more fun to lose. Mr. Dill was sayin' yesterday as he would n't have listened to nothin' but white for Lucy's weddin'-dress if it had n't been for Mr. Kimball 'n' his little scheme, but I don't get any great comfort out of knowin' that Lucy Dill 's got to try 'n' get herself married in her Aunt Samantha Dill's blue bengaline. The blue bengaline 's very handsome 'n' I never see a prettier arrangement of beads 'n' fringe, but every one says too much of Lucy shows at the top 'n' bottom to even be romantic. They _can_ hook it, but Lucy can't stay hooked inside but five minutes at the outside. I 'm sure I don't see how they 'll ever fix it, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins says she cries whenever she thinks that at Hiram's weddin' the bride won't have no weddin'-dress. Polly Allen wanted Lucy to open the darts 'n' let in puffs like Mary Stuart's husbands always was puffed, but Lucy never see Mary Stuart 'n' the only picture in town of any of her husbands has got him in bed with the sheet drawed up to his chin 'n'
his hands folded right on top of where they 'd want to copy the darts.
Such a picture ain't no help a _tall_, so Lucy is still shakin' her head the same as at first. _My_ idea would be to make no wish-bones about it 'n' just be married in her travelin'-dress 'n' then wear it when she goes away, but it seems she wants her travelin'-dress for church, 'n'
does n't mean to wear it travelin' anyhow, because she 'n' Hiram is just wild over the no-one-knowin'-they 're-married idea, 'n' Lucy is goin' to wear old gloves 'n' some b.u.t.tons off her shoes, 'n' Hiram is goin' to wear his mother's spectacles 'n' Mr. Sh.o.r.es' store umbrella. Gran'ma Mullins feels awful over Hiram's goin' away like that; she says she 's brought him up so neat 'n' always a vest on Sunday 'n' only s.h.i.+rt-sleeves in summer, 'n' now to think of him goin' off on his weddin'-trip in Mr. Sh.o.r.es' umbrella!--but Lucy don't care--nor Hiram neither--'n' they 're goin' to take along a piece of sand-paper 'n'
sand-paper the s.h.i.+ne off the ring on the train. Polly Allen 'n' the deacon is laughin' to fits over them. Everythin' 's very different with Polly 'n' the deacon. The deacon says it ain't in reason as a man of sixty-two can look forward to many more weddin's, 'n' he 's goin' to sit with his arm around Polly, 'n' he don't care who chooses to suspeck they 're weddin'-trippin'. They 're goin' to be all new clothes right through to their skins, 'n' Polly 's goin' to have a orange-blossom bunch on her hat. The deacon says he 'll pay for all the rice folks are willin' to throw, 'n' it 's a open secret as he 's goin' to give the minister a gold piece. The minister was smilin' all over town about it until Mr.
Kimball told him he see a gold quarter-of-a-dollar once. He's hopin' for a five, but Mr. Sh.o.r.es says he knows positive as the deacon got two two-dollar-and-a-halfs at the bank when his wife died, and he gave one to the minister then 'n' probably he 's been savin' the other to get married again with."
Susan paused for breath--a vital necessity--and then went on:
"But dear me, Mrs. Lathrop, all that ain't what I set out to tell you, 'n' even if it's a pleasure to you to hear it, it ain't in reason as I should take my time to talk to you about other people's affairs. You may be interested in other people's affairs, but I ain't, 'n' we started to talk about mine 'n' what I set out to talk about I talk about or else I stay at home. It was my troubles as I was goin' to make a clean high breast of, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I 'll lay any odds as by the time I get through you 'll have little feelin' to sleep in you. The Lord says, 'To him who hath shall be given,' 'n' I will in confidence remark as I 've just been achin' to give it to you for these many days. You 've always been poor, but you 've never seemed to mind; now I 'm poor (yes, Mrs.
Lathrop, jump if you like"--for Mrs. Lathrop had started in surprise--"but it 's so) 'n' _I_ mind; I mind very much, I mind all up 'n' down and kitty-cornered crossways, 'n' if I keep on gettin' poor, Lord have mercy on you, for I shall certainly not be able to look on calmly at no great amount of rockin'."
Mrs. Lathrop stared widely--and gasped openly. Susan continued:
"It all began with Mr. Kimball 'n' his gettin' the fever of speckilation. Mr. Kimball said he thought he 'd rather get rich quick than not get rich at all. That was the way he put it 'n' it sounded so sensible 't I felt to agree. Then he begin to unfold how (he had the newspaper in his hand), 'n' as soon as he was unfolded I read the advertis.e.m.e.nt. It was a very nice advertis.e.m.e.nt an' no patent medicine could have sounded easier to take in. You buy two rubber trees 'n' then wait two years 'n' get fifty per cent till you die. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I went over that advertis.e.m.e.nt fifty times to try 'n' see what to do 'n'
yet the more I studied it the less faith I had in it somehow. The picture of the man who tended the trees was up on top 'n' little pictures of him made a kind of pearl frame around the whole, 'n' he was honest enough lookin', as far as I could judge, but--as I told Mr.
Kimball--what was to guarantee us as he 'd stick to the same job steady, 'n' I certainly did n't have no longin' in me to buy a rubber tree in southeast Peru 'n' then leave it to be hoed around by Tom, d.i.c.k, 'n'
Harry. So I shook my head 'n' said 'no' in the end 'n' then we looked up railway stocks. Mr. Kimball read me a list of millionaires 'n' he asked me if I would n't like to be called 'Susan Clegg, queen of the Western Pacific'--but I 'm too old to be caught by any such chaff, 'n' I told him so to his face, and then it was that we come to his favorite scheme of the 'Little Flyer in Wheat.' That was what he called it, 'n' I must say that I think it's a pretty good name, only if I know myself I 'll buy wheat as never sets down hereafter.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it took a deal of talkin' 'n' Mr. Kimball had to do a lot of figgerin' before my eyes afore I was ready to believe him when he said as five of us could go in together 'n' double our money every few days for a month or so. He showed me as what he was figgerin' from was printed in plain letters 'n' red ink in a city paper, 'n' after a while I opened my mouth 'n' swallowed the whole thing, red ink 'n' all.
Mr. Kimball, Mr. Dill, Mr. Sh.o.r.es, me, 'n' me over again, was the five, 'n' we bought the share right off, fully believin' as we 'd begin the wheat-flyin' the same way--" Susan paused and set her teeth a little vigorously for a moment,--then:
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, that was the way it all begun, 'n' I can lay my hand anywhere 'n' swear as all my bad luck is founded solid on Mr.
Kimball in consequence. The very day after we begun with our fly instid of doublin' he halved in the mornin' paper 'n' it seemed we 'd got to buy him all over again or it was good-by Johnny. Me bein' the only one with money known to be ready 'n' idle they brought the paper to me to save the share, 'n' I can only say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I wish as you could have seen their faces when they saw mine. I saw I was a lamb sittin'
among the sharks, but I see, too, as I 'd have to come to time 'n' I got the money, 'n' then we set down--Mr. Dill, Mr. Sh.o.r.es, 'n' me--to figger on how much of the share was mine on the new deal. It struck me, 'n' it strikes me now, 'n' it always will strike me, as any one as owns two-fifths of a thing and then buys the whole thing over again owns seven-fifths of it from then on, but Mr. Dill had the face to tell me to my face as it wa'n't so at all. He figgered the share at 100 'n' us paid down at 50 'n' me all together as aggravatin' up to 45, 'n' I could only sit starin' 'n' stark ravin' dumb to see where he would come out after that. I did n't say nothin' of what I felt to him or Mr. Sh.o.r.es, for the very good reason as I wanted to save all my feelin's for Mr. Kimball, but I tell you that a volcano gettin' itself made in the beginnin' is floatin' lily-pads beside the inside of me that hour.
"I went down-town that afternoon 'n' I aired myself pretty thoroughly over the whole town, I can a.s.sure you. Mr. Allen said I 'd better pocket my loss 'n' give up dabblin' in stocks, but I did n't see no great sense in what he said. I did n't have nothin' to pocket, everything was gone,--'n' so far as dabblin' goes I wa'n't dabblin', I was in up to my nose. But Mr. Kimball come out as bra.s.sy as a ba.s.s-drum 'n' showed me a picture of wheat layin' on his back in bed takin' a tonic with four doctors doin' up his room work for him. The doctors was all millionaires on that stock list of railroads 'n' I counted on their knowin' what they were givin' him, so I come home quite a little easier, 'n' that night I slept like a ton of hay. But the next day!--my Lord alive, you remember the next day, don't you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' it must have been a.r.s.enic as them four had put in his bottle, for I was up in the garret makin' a thistle-down pillow 'n' there come Ed tearin' up on his bicycle to tell me as I must stick in ten dollars more on a margin. 'On a what?' I hollered from the window. 'On a margin,' he hollered from under the porch. Well, really, Mrs. Lathrop, I do believe if he had n't been under the porch I would have throwed something down on him. My, but I was mad!
I come down that garret-ladder like a greased pan 'n' I tied my bonnet on 'n' walked straight in on Mr. Kimball. That was one time as he did very little jokin', 'n' in the end he put in five of the ten himself 'n'
then we both sat down 'n' tried to figger out as to how much of that share we each owned. I will confess as takin' down stoves was lookin'
out of the window beside that job, 'n' in the end he made out as that if the share was worth the whole of itself I 'd own half, but bein' worth only what had happened to it there was n't the half in the whole. So I come home 'n' dreamed nothin' but nightmares runnin' wildly up 'n' down me.
"You know what happened next!--it was the next mornin', 'n' I was makin'
bread with a very heavy dough when Ed come bouncin' in for three dollars more margin. Well, I honestly thought I 'd bu'st. I blazed up so quick 'n' so sudden that Ed fell back agin the table, 'n' then I shook till the window rattled. It was a good minute before I could speak, 'n' when I spoke, I may in truth remark, Mrs. Lathrop, that I never spoke plainer nor firmer in my life,--'Edward Andrews'--I says--'Edward Andrews, you paddle yourself right back to Mr. Kimball 'n' tell him that my patience is very short 'n' is gettin' shorter each minute, 'n' you may just casually mention that I ain't got no more money to margin with not now 'n' not never. If a thing as I 've paid nigh to eight-fifths for is shrunk to less than half of itself Mr. Dill 'n' Mr. Sh.o.r.es can margin for it from now on--I'm done forever.' 'N' I was done, too--but I never bargained on what came next!--Mr. Kimball traded that share in wheat for two in a Refrigerator Trust 'n' never even so much as sneezed about it to me, 'n' I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I consider that the Bible sayin'
'Honor among thieves' ought to apply to me just as much as to any one else. 'N' there I went into the city as unsuspectin' as a can brimful of b.u.t.termilk 'n' bought a paper to read comin' home on the cars, 'n' what should I unfold but wheat runnin' up a ladder along with a bull to get out of the way of a lot of wild-lookin' lambs! The ladder-rungs was numbered 'n' I was sharp enough to see as them numbers was money 'n'
that wheat had one leg safe on 110; so I kited home to sell out--'n' it was then I learned about the Refrigerator!
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop!--well, _Mrs_. Lathrop, what do you think was my feelin's then?--I tell you boilin' lava 'n' India's sunny strand was n't hotter than me that minute. Me--the backbone of the whole thing 'n' sold out like I was a mummy while I was in town buyin' darnin'-cotton!"
Miss Clegg s.h.i.+fted her weight to the other foot and drew a long, fresh breath.
"Mr. Kimball 'n' me has never been the same since," she continued with warmth;--"we had enough to make us different, Heaven knows, for from that day on misfortune has just dogged and rabbited me, I know. The winter was so cold that the only way the Refrigerator Trust could come out even was to burn up toward spring, 'n' the day it burnt wheat was sittin' on 140, kissin' his hand to the new crop."
"But Mr. Kim--" interposed Mrs. Lathrop.
"Oh, well, of course, havin' Mr. Sh.o.r.es fail right opposite brightened everything for him--I 'd smile myself if any one was to fail right opposite me, 'n' I said just that very thing to Mr. Sh.o.r.es the mornin'
after. I says,--I says, 'Mr. Sh.o.r.es, you must consider that this is a world of ups and downs, 'n' that if you don't like to fail your failure is makin' Mr. Kimball happy 'n' your loss will be his credit.' But Mr.
Sh.o.r.es was too busy to talk, so I bought two skewers to encourage him 'n' come out, 'n' within a week I found to my sorrow as I was pretty unpleasantly near to a mark-down sale myself."
"It was--" observed Mrs. Lathrop, sadly.
"Yes," said her friend, "that's just when it was,--that very self-same week. I was in the square listenin' to Gran'ma Mullins' everlastin' tale of woe over Hiram 'n' Lucy, 'n' up come the blacksmith with a tale of woe for myself. Now, Mrs. Lathrop, you know me 'n' you 've known me a long time 'n' you 've heard me tell this a good many times 'n' yet I want to ask you one time more,--_do_ you think any one but the blacksmith 'n' Mr. Dill would ever have blamed me for the crick's was.h.i.+ng out back of the blacksmith's 'n' lettin' the anvil 'n' the hind legs of Mr. Dill's horse slide out sudden? Of course, I own the blacksmith shop 'n' of course I rent it, but--as I told him 'n' Mr. Dill both that very day--n.o.body can't rent common sense nor yet keep track of men's washouts 'n' horses' hind legs. I knowed all the time I was walkin' towards the crick that it was goin' to be a bad business, but I never expected to see nothin' as looked like Mr. Dill's horse, 'n' I never again shall hope to see nothin' as 'll look like Mr. Dill's looks as he looked at the horse. Not as his horse was n't worth lookin' at either. His legs had gone out behind so far 'n' so unexpected that it seemed like he could n't get them high enough 'n' close enough to suit him, 'n' he just stood there drawin' them up alternate for all the world like a fly on fly-paper. Mr. Dill said he felt like if his horse was n't ever goin' to be able to h'ist his legs no quicker'n that he 'd have to have damages, 'n' at that word I nigh to sat right down. I tell you what, Mrs. Lathrop, Mr. Weskin has bred this damage idea too deep into this town for any comfort. It 's got to where it's better to hurt yourself most any way than to damage some one else only a little. I would n't take the chances of sayin' 'shoo' to a hen on a slippery mornin', 'n' things has come to a pretty pa.s.s when you 've got to consider a hen's back-slidin's. Such bein' the case I felt more 'n a little troubled when Mr. Dill said damages, but I tried to look on the bright side, 'n' I told him that it seemed to me that a proper-minded horse would have hauled in his legs when he felt himself slippin' in half. Mr. Dill said his horse unfortunately could n't see with his tail 'n' was also brought up to consider anvils as solid. I answered as all I could say was as it was a great pity as his horse was n't built enough like the rest of the world to have better hindsight than foresight,--'n'
then I looked at the anvil in the crick--'n' then I come home."
"'N' that--" said Mrs. Lathrop, sadly.
"Yes, that very night!--it was that very night that the lightnin' struck my house"--Susan halted a moment to turn and look at the house. "I never will see why the lightnin' had to strike my house, Mrs. Lathrop, with yours so handy right next door; but it did strike it--'n' me inside sleepin' the sleep of the nigh to poverty-stricken 'n' done-up, 'n'
never as much as dreamin' of bein' woke by a brick bouncin' out of my own flesh 'n' blood stove-hole. My heavens alive! what a night that was, 'n' even if nothin' catched fire everythin' in kingdom come rained in, 'n' when mornin' come 'n' I see what a small hole it was after all I would n't ever have believed it if you 'd swore it till the week after doomsday."
Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs Part 5
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