Why Marry? Part 15

Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous John!

JOHN

[_impatiently_]

Never mind about me. _That_ problem is all settled; now about Helen....

Lucy! I thought I told you----

[_LUCY, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the house._

JUDGE

John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates them. You can't cure social defects by individual treatment.

JOHN

[_more impatiently_]

Does talk settle anything?

JUDGE

Everything. We may even settle the marriage problem if we talk _honestly_. [_THEODORE returns from telephoning to the sanitarium._]

Theodore, it's all right! John honestly believes in setting an example to society! Crazy to have his sisters go and do likewise!

THEODORE

Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it--an ideal match.

JUDGE

[_overriding JOHN_]

Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor will shower everything upon her John honors and admires: A host of servants--I mean sacrifices; carriages and motors--I mean character and morals; just what her brother advocates in Sunday-school--for others. An ideal marriage.

JOHN

[_hands in pockets_]

You think you're awfully funny, don't you? Humph! I do more for the Church, for education, art, science than all the rest of the family combined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced.... But this is a practical world, Theodore, I've got to protect my own.

LUCY

[_returning_]

Helen will be here in a minute.

JOHN

[_suddenly getting an idea_]

Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them apart!

THEODORE

Be careful, John--these two love each other.

JUDGE

Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether we make it hard or easy for them--they _will_ do it. But, mark my words, unless we _reform marriage_, there is going to be a sympathetic _strike_ against it--as there is already against having children. Instead of making it harder to get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay together. Otherwise the ancient bluff will soon be called!

LUCY

Sss.h.!.+ Here she comes.

THEODORE

_Please_ don't talk this way before her.

JUDGE

All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in the conspiracy of silence.

[_HELEN appears at the door. A sudden silence._

HELEN

[_kissing THEODORE and JUDGE affectionately_]

I'm _so_ sorry to hear about dear Mary. [_To JUDGE._] But why didn't Aunt Julia come? Is she ill, too?

[_Slight panic in the family party._