Why Marry? Part 19

LUCY

[_with match-making ardor_]

No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except in that awful ap.r.o.n. But those stunning dinner gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in evening dress you are quite irresistible!

JUDGE

[_apart to THEODORE_]

Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system!

HELEN

But you see, I don't _want_ him to ask me. I've had all I could do to keep him from it.

[_The family seems perplexed._

JOHN

She's got _some_ sense left.

LUCY

But suppose he did ask you, dear?

HELEN

Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of course. If John said, "Love him," I'd love him; if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off like electric light.

[_The family is becoming exasperated._

LUCY

[_insinuating_]

Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much you admire him, Helen.

HELEN

Oh, no you don't! [_The family is amazed._] Not even he does. Did you ever hear how he risked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why, he's a perfect hero of romance!

JOHN

[_mutters_]

Never even saw a war--mollycoddle germ killer!

HELEN

Not in the war with Spain--the war against yellow fever, John.... No drums to make him brave, no correspondents to make him famous--he merely rolled up his sleeve and let an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious.... He happened to be among those who recovered.

[_The family is impressed._

THEODORE

Old-fas.h.i.+oned maidens used to marry their heroes, Helen.

HELEN

[_arising, briskly_]

But this new-fas.h.i.+oned hero gets only two thousand dollars a year, Theodore.

[_She turns to escape._

JOHN

[_nodding_]

I told you she had sense.

THEODORE

Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I married on half that, didn't we, John?

[_He looks around. The family looks away._

HELEN

[_with unintended emphasis_]

Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that enormous salary--books, travel, scientific conferences--all the advantages he simply must have if he's to keep at the top and do his best work for the world. The most selfish thing a girl can do is to marry a poor man.

[_With that she hurries up the steps._