Why Marry? Part 38

JUDGE

It doesn't matter what _I_ want--what she wants is the point. You must give the woman you marry tutti-frutti, divorces--everything.... Why, I've got the habit myself, and G.o.d knows I don't enjoy sacrifice--I'm a man! The superior s.e.x!

JOHN

I don't believe you appreciate that wife of yours.

JUDGE

[_between the words he's writing_]

Don't I? It isn't every wife that'd travel away out to Reno--you know how she hates travelling--and go to a theatre--and catch a cold--and get a divorce--all for the sake of an uncongenial husband. [_Suddenly getting an idea, strikes table._] I know what gave her a cold. She raised all the windows in her bedroom--for _my_ sake!--I always kept them down for _her_ sake. I'll have to scold her. [_Bends to his writing again._] Poor little thing! She doesn't know how to take care of herself without me. I doubt if she ever will.

[_Looks over telegram. A SERVANT comes, takes telegram, and goes._

JOHN

Uncle Everett, I want your advice.

JUDGE

John! do _you_ want a divorce?

JOHN

No, we are not that sort, are we, Lucy? [_No answer._] Are we, dear?

LUCY

[_after a pause_]

No, we are not that sort!

JOHN

We believe in the sanct.i.ty of the home, the holiness of marriage.

LUCY

Yes, we believe in--"the holiness of marriage!"

[_Turns away, covering her face with her hands and shuddering._

JOHN

Lucy, tell Helen and Jean to come here. [_LUCY goes._] Well, young Baker spoke to me about Jean last night. I told him I'd think it over and give him my decision this morning.

JUDGE

That's right. Mustn't seem too anxious, John. When the properly qualified male offers one of our dependent females a chance at woman's only true career, of course it's up to us to look disappointed.

JOHN

But I didn't bring up the little matter you spoke of.

JUDGE

About that chorus girl?... Afraid of scaring him off?

JOHN

Not at all, but--well, it's all over and it's all fixed. No scandal, no blackmail.

JUDGE

Hum! By the way, got anything on Hamilton?

JOHN

I don't believe in saints myself.

JUDGE

I see.... Good thing, for Jean Rex isn't a saint. I suppose you'd break off the match.

[_REX, in riding clothes, comes out. JOHN salutes him warmly. The JUDGE is reading the paper._

REX

[_not eagerly_]