Why Marry? Part 58

Look out, here comes the parson.

[_THEODORE comes out of the house._

JEAN

Oh, Theodore! Rex and I have come to an understanding.... Will you solemnize our blessed union?

THEODORE

Not unless you truly love each other. Marriage is sacred.

JEAN

[_rapidly_]

A large church wedding--that will make it sacred. A full choral service--many expensive flowers--all the smartest people invited--that always makes the union of two souls sacred.

THEODORE

Those who truly love--their friends should witness the solemn rite, but----

JEAN

[_interrupts. To REX_]

And my wedding gown will be white satin with a point-lace veil caught up with orange-blossoms and a diamond tiara--"the gift of the groom"--that ought to make it solemn.

THEODORE

The white veil is the symbol of purity, Jean.

JEAN

[_rattling on wildly_]

Of purity, Rex, do you hear? Whenever you see a bride in the white symbol of purity she is pure--that proves it. That makes it all so beautiful! so sacred! so holy! holy! holy!

[_Hysterically turns and runs into the house as JOHN comes out._

THEODORE

[_following_]

Jean, you must not, you shall not--[_JOHN blocks THEODORE. REX runs in after JEAN. To JOHN._] John, I warn you! I'll prevent this marriage.

I'll tell every clergyman in the diocese. I'll inform the bishop himself. This marriage would be a sacrilege.

JOHN

You dare threaten me--after all I've done for you!

THEODORE

Your five thousand was a loan--not a bribe--every cent of it will be returned.

JOHN

You can't return it. I wouldn't let you if you could. Come, it's all in the family. [_THEODORE shakes his head._] You know that beautiful Gothic chapel old man Baker is building on his estate? He likes you. I'll tell him you're just the man he's looking for--safe and sane--no socialistic tendencies.

THEODORE

Don't trouble yourself--he offered me the place this morning.

JOHN

You didn't refuse it!

THEODORE

I did--this morning. But since my last talk with you I've reconsidered, I've telephoned my acceptance.

JOHN

[_genuinely glad_]

Bully! Great! Why, now you're fixed for life. "Only one kind of fitness encouraged," eh?... Right always triumphs in the end. Never lose your faith again, Theodore.

THEODORE

Right? That whited sepulchre! his mill hands dying like flies, his private life a public scandal!

JOHN