Why Marry? Part 9

The SERVANTS arrange the tea-table and go into the house._

_LUCY comes out, followed by her husband, JOHN, and the JUDGE, who is UNCLE EVERETT, and COUSIN THEODORE._

_JOHN, the masterful type of successful American business man; well set up, close-cropped mustache, inclined to baldness; keen eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, quick decisions, quick temper._

_UNCLE EVERETT is a genial satirist with a cynical tolerance of the ways of the world, which he understands, laughs at, and rather likes._

_COUSIN THEODORE, a care-worn rector, who, though he b.u.t.tons his collar behind, likes those who don't; a n.o.ble soul, self-sacrificing and sanctified, but he does not obtrude his profession upon others--never talks shop unless asked to do so, and prides himself upon not being a bigot._

_They are continuing an earnest discussion, with the intimate manner of friendly members of the same family. JOHN, LUCY, and THEODORE deeply concerned; UNCLE EVERETT detached and amused._

THEODORE

But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always been a good wife to you?

JUDGE

Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a good wife.

LUCY

And a _devoted_ mother to your children, Uncle Everett?

JUDGE

Devoted, Lucy, devoted.

JOHN

She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett.

JUDGE

Yes, John--a true, old-fas.h.i.+oned woman.

THEODORE

She has been a great help to me in the parish work, Uncle Everett.

JUDGE

An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore--in fact, I might say, a model female.

ALL

Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce?

JUDGE

Because, d.a.m.n it, I don't like her!

LUCY

But think of poor Aunt Julia!

JUDGE

But, d.a.m.n it, she doesn't like _me_.

THEODORE

[_wagging head sadly_]

Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on both sides.

JUDGE

Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both patterns of Christian fort.i.tude to the end! We still are. Just listen to this telegram.

LUCY

[_puzzled_]

From Aunt Julia?

[Ill.u.s.tration: _From a photograph by White Studio._

ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce?

JUDGE: Because, d.a.m.n it, I don't like her.]

JUDGE