My Neighbor Raymond Part 25

"Why, to be sure it's I, sacrificing myself to save poor Raymond, who's in such a fright that it will make him ill."

"Ha! ha! ha! I can't get over it!"

"Hus.h.!.+ he's in there; he can hear you laugh, and I fancy that he would take it ill of you just at this moment."

"Really! what do I care for that? Ha! ha! ha! Do you think that I'm in love with Raymond, I should like to know? Oh! he is much too stupid, really! and he tries to play the Lovelace! I couldn't stand it any longer! When I opened the window and saw Gerville on the boulevard, I gave a shriek and stepped back into the room as quick as I could; for I don't want Gerville to see me with Raymond. Not that he's jealous, but he might not like it. Do you know what I did? It came into my head to tell my old idiot that Gerville is fiendishly jealous, and that he had been suspicious of him ever since he learned that we spent two hours together on the landing, and that I was certain that he was on the boulevard for the sole purpose of watching us. The more I said, the more frightened my adorer became, for he has even more affection for his own person than for mine. And when I added that Gerville was quite capable of stabbing him,--ha! ha! the poor man took his hat, and is running still, I fancy. Ha! ha! ha! but it's very kind of him to send me such an agreeable companion. Meanwhile, I would like to know what has become of Gerville; I think that he was just waiting for one of his friends."

"Hus.h.!.+ somebody is coming upstairs. Raymond is opening his door; let's listen. Gerville is speaking."

We put our ears close to the door, which we very softly opened an inch or two, and overheard the following conversation:

"Ah! it's neighbor Raymond."

"Himself, at your service. How are you?"

"Very well. How's this? are you dining alone in a private room?"

"Yes; I have something on my mind, some important business, and I was glad not to be disturbed."

"In that case, I'll leave you. I am waiting for somebody who agreed to meet me on the boulevard here; but he's late, and I am going to dine.

Good-day, neighbor; and a good appet.i.te!"

"Your servant!"

Gerville closed the door of Raymond's room and went into another, pa.s.sing ours as he did so.

"Well, mademoiselle," I said to Agathe, "choose; to which of these gentlemen will you give the preference?"

"Oh! I have a delicious idea!"

"Some crazy scheme, I'll be bound, for you think of no other kind."

"This will be unique. Help me, my dear Eugene, I beg you."

Without another word to me, Agathe began to stride up and down the room; she pushed the chairs about, threw some of them down, and, amid the uproar, cried out from time to time:

"Don't be angry with me, my friend! I a.s.sure you that you are mistaken.

I give you my word that I haven't seen Raymond; that I don't care for him! Ask Dorsan; he invited me to dinner, because he was expecting a lady."

I began to understand Agathe's plan; she proposed to make Raymond think that Gerville was with us. To second her, I also made noise enough for two, and attempted now and then to imitate Gerville's voice. We stopped at last, tired out by our comedy; Agathe made me a sign which I understood; I left the room, the door of which she locked behind me, and stole on tiptoe into Raymond's, where I found him s.h.i.+vering and half dead with terror in front of a beefsteak with potatoes. I locked the door before approaching him, and put a finger to my lips; we had the aspect of two conspirators. Raymond spoke so low at this time that I could hardly hear him.

"He's in there," I said, pointing to the next room.

"Oh! I know it only too well; I heard him. But how did it happen?"

"We thought he had gone downstairs, and we opened our door; but he was on the watch; he saw Agathe and came in. Then there was a terrible scene, for he suspected that she came here with you; I'm not the one of whom he is jealous."

"Parbleu! I know only too well that it's I. I saw plainly enough just now that he didn't believe what I told him. He had doubts; perhaps he saw us coming along the boulevard."

"That is quite possible; you are so infernally imprudent! When you arrange such a party as this, you should take a cab, and enter the restaurant by the rear door."

"That's so; you are right; we ought to have come in from behind! but I promise you that I'll go out that way."

"He thought at first that I was in your confidence, that I was here solely to help you. In fact, I am exposing myself to some risk in your behalf."

"Ah! my dear Dorsan! never while I live shall I forget what I owe to you!"

"However, things are beginning to calm down. Agathe has succeeded in making him listen to reason; she told him that she came here for no other purpose than to watch him; she's playing the jealous lover now."

"Oh! that's delicious! charming! these women always find a way out of everything!"

"I should prefer to let them dine alone; but he won't listen to it. I left the room on the pretext of ordering dinner."

"It's all ordered, my dear friend; and I shall take good care to pay for it. I don't mean to put you to any expense, when you are sacrificing yourself to help me."

"As you please; I'll give the word to the waitress, and we will dine."

"Go, my n.o.ble-hearted friend; tell her to be sure not to mention me."

"Never fear."

"I have but one fear now."

"What's that?"

"Just now, with the idea of giving Agathe a surprise, I amused myself, while her back was turned, by slipping my picture into her reticule."

"Your picture?"

"Yes; I mean one of my silhouettes, you know, which I had pasted on a pink card, with a border of little cupids. If Agathe should happen to drop that when she takes out her handkerchief; or, not knowing what it is, should take it into her head to look at it----"

"Peste! that would make a pretty row! Gerville would surely say then that I was in collusion with you to deceive him."

"Try, my friend, try to prevent Agathe from blowing her nose!"

"I can't promise that, but I'll motion to her to blow it in her napkin; that cannot compromise you."

"That's the very thing."

"Adieu! a longer absence might arouse suspicion."

Once more I left Raymond, who locked himself into his room. I returned to Agathe. The waitress arrived with the dinner; she seemed surprised at the change of cavalier, but two or three words in her ear and a five-franc piece in her hand speedily retained her in our interest. She promised to tell the stout gentleman that there were three in our party, and thereupon she left us, overjoyed to be able to amuse herself at the expense of the man who had upset a tureen of soup on her feet.

"Now, let us dine," said I, taking my seat at the table beside Agathe; "no one can deny that we have earned it. I hardly expected to dine with you, I admit."

"Nor I! but impromptu pleasures are always the best."

"A month ago we had already become reasonable and sedate in our tete-a-tetes."