My Neighbor Raymond Part 31

"Where are you going? Wait, wait!" cried Vauvert, stammering and hardly able to speak at all, he was so excited. I pretended not to hear, and went farther into the woods.

Vauvert started to run after me; he overtook me and seized my hand, and I felt that he was trembling like a rabbit.

"Where on earth are you going, my dear fellow? why do you go so far into the woods? Don't you see that we're going to have a storm?"

"It seems to me that the affair that brings us here can hardly be adjusted on the highroad; it would be as sensible to choose Boulevard Saint-Denis for the battlefield."

"My friend, I hope that--at all events----"

"As for the storm, that needn't disturb us; on the contrary, it will keep bystanders away."

While I was talking with Vauvert, I heard my neighbor shouting in the distance:

"No adjustment, Monsieur Vauvert, no adjustment! I don't propose to consent to any compromise; I am determined to fight!"

"You hear him!" said Vauvert; "he's crazy. Oh! he's a terrible fellow when he gets started. He has said everywhere that he proposed to have your life, or that you should have his."

I could not help laughing at Raymond's bl.u.s.ter; and I ventured to rea.s.sure poor Vauvert, who did not know which way to turn, having never been present at such a function. At last we were joined by my adversary and the Baron de Witcheritche, the latter of whom wore a three-cornered hat, eight inches high, c.o.c.ked over his left ear, which gave him the aspect of a bully from the Rue Coquenard.

"Monsieur!" said Raymond, striding toward me with a warlike air, "I wrote you that I should come alone, and that was my intention; but, as I pa.s.sed through the Palais-Royal, I met my friend Vauvert, who had come out to buy a roll for his second breakfast, and who, when he learned that I had an affair of honor with you, dropped everything to come with me, and----"

"That is to say," interrupted Vauvert, "that you didn't tell me that that was what was up, and that I didn't find it out till we got to the barrier; for, when you saw me, you grabbed my arm and didn't give me time to pay for my newspaper."

Raymond pretended not to hear what Vauvert said, and continued:

"So I yielded to his urgent entreaties. Besides, he is as much your friend as mine, and his presence cannot be disagreeable to you. As for Monsieur le Baron de Witcheritche, we met him at the barrier, going out to dine in the country with his good wife. I thought it better to have two seconds than one, because then I could let you have one of them.

Monsieur de Witcheritche consented to leave madame la baronne, who is waiting for him under the trees not far away. He will be my second then, and Monsieur Vauvert yours, if agreeable to you."

Monsieur le baron, who had bowed every time that his name was mentioned, took his place beside Raymond, and Vauvert stood behind me.

"Monsieur Raymond," said I, "it seems to me that we might very well settle this affair between ourselves, without troubling these gentlemen.

I am afraid that madame la baronne may get wet during our engagement, and Vauvert would be better off at his desk than here."

"That is true enough," said Vauvert, who asked nothing better than to go away; "I have a great deal of work to do to-day, and I'm afraid I shall be reproved by my deputy chief clerk."

"Matame la paronne, she haf ov te shtorm no fear; she loaf mooch to see te lidening flashes," said Monsieur de Witcheritche, smiling so expansively that his mouth seemed to reach from ear to ear.

"Well, since these gentlemen have been good enough to come," said I, with a smile, "it must not be for nothing; so I accept Monsieur Vauvert for my second."

Vauvert fell back with an air of dismay.

"Don't be alarmed," I said to him; "seconds rarely fight; if, however, I should fall, and you should choose to avenge me, it will be in your power."

"I, my dear friend! I do not need to tell you how fond I am of you; and certainly--I wish the affair might be settled amicably. Friends ought not to fall out!--Monsieur de Witcheritche, we ought not to allow these gentlemen to fight."

The baron seemed much more deeply interested in something that he had in his pocket than in our combat, and to no purpose did Vauvert, with tears in his eyes, strive frantically to make him understand that it was their duty to reconcile Raymond and myself. But my neighbor was obstinate.

"I intend to fight," he said; "n.o.body shall insult me with impunity! I have seen Monsieur Gerville, and I know that he did not dine with you and Agathe; I need say no more! And my silhouette on the wall--that was a betrayal of confidence! You must give me satisfaction, Monsieur Dorsan; this affair will make a sensation."

"Oh! bless my soul, neighbor, I am at your service! Let us get through with it, for it is going to rain, and I shall be distressed to have these gentlemen get wet, and especially madame la baronne, who is under the trees."

"I am the insulted party; I have the choice of weapons."

"That is true."

"I am very skilful with the sword; I have taken lessons from the most expert teacher in Paris; but I will not fight with anything but pistols, because I don't wish to make an unfair use of my advantages."

"That is very generous on your part; I divined your purpose and brought some pistols along."

As I spoke, I took mine from my pocket; I saw that Raymond was disturbed and changed color; then he produced a pair of great holster pistols and showed them to me.

"That's all right," said I; "each of us will have his own pistols."

"No, no! put yours back in your pocket; we must use mine. You understand what an advantage I should have in using one of my pistols against one of yours, which are two inches shorter."

"Your behavior is truly n.o.ble. Very well, since you insist upon it."

"I do, monsieur; besides, I have the choice of weapons, and I fight with none but my own."

"Very well; let us call our friends to load them."

I turned to look for Vauvert, who, as soon as we produced our pistols, had walked away in the direction of the highroad and could with difficulty be induced to come near us.

"The pistols are loaded," said Raymond; "I always look after that in advance."

"Ordinarily, my dear neighbor, that is the duty of the seconds."

"Oh! but I don't trust anybody but myself with that. Besides, my friend Witcheritche has examined them;--isn't that so, monsieur le baron?"

The baron was busily engaged in wrapping in two thicknesses of paper some small Neufchatel cheeses, which he seemed to fear would be dissolved in his pocket by the rain; so he replied to my adversary's question only by a smile of a.s.sent. Everything that I saw tended to confirm my suspicions: Raymond's valor was unnatural; his insistence upon using his own pistols, the pains he had taken to load them at home, certainly implied some trickery on his part, which I was determined. He handed me his pistols and asked me to choose one.

"How many paces apart shall we stand?" I asked.

"Why--about twenty-five."

"Great G.o.d!" cried Vauvert; "why, that's point-blank range. Forty paces, messieurs! that's quite near enough when you're hit!"

"No; let's call it thirty; that's the most I can consent to.--Monsieur de Witcheritche, come and measure the ground."

Monsieur le baron regretfully parted from his cheeses, which he laid on the gra.s.s, taking care to put his hat over them, for the rain was beginning to fall violently. He came toward us; I took my place, and he measured thirty gigantic paces, so that I could hardly see Raymond. As for my second, he was so afraid of being hit that he did not know where to go. He urged us to be very careful not to aim at the wrong man, and I rea.s.sured him. Monsieur de Witcheritche gave the signal by beating time, as if we were to play a Haydn quartette.

Raymond fired, and either the noise or downright terror felled Vauvert to the ground, where he lay with his face buried in the gra.s.s. I was not touched; I did not even hear the bullet whistle by my ears.

I suggested to my neighbor that we let it go at that.

"No, no, fire!" he cried.

"He is ein Zazar!" exclaimed the baron, in his admiration of Raymond's courage.