Dr. Adriaan Part 54

"I mean what I say, Tilly," he said. "It is better...."

"What?"

"That we should separate."

"Separate?"

"Perhaps. For a longer or shorter period."

She stared at him:

"Do you want a divorce?"

"I think so."

She continued to stare at him and choked down her tears:

"Addie, do you no longer love me?"

"No," he said, gently.

She looked deep in his eyes, affronted:

"What do you mean?"

"That I don't love you, any longer, enough to live with you. I beg your pardon, Tilly, if I have spoilt your life, if I have shattered your life. I have spoilt and shattered it. I beg your pardon ... if you can forgive me."

"Only a little while ago ... you told me that you cared for me."

"I thought so at the time ... It seemed to mean so much to me."

"And now?"

"Now I don't".

She rebelled with injured pride:

"Then why did you ask me to marry you?"

"Yes, that was just it."

"Just what?"

"The mistake.... Tell me, do you still love me?"

"No," she said, proudly.

"So you see: it's better...."

"That we should be divorced."

"Don't you think so yourself?"

"And the children?" she asked.

"That's my punishment," he said, gently. "They will remain with you."

"You entrust them to me?"

"I do."

"Addie!" she cried, with a sob.

"You still love me a little, Tilly...."

She only sobbed.

"But not so much as you did," he a.s.sured her. "You are in love with Erzeele."

"Erzeele?"

"Yes."

"He is a friend."

"He may become more ... later," he forced himself to say, uncleansed as yet of jealousy, because she was still his wife.

"Addie," she said, "I am to blame. If I could only have got accustomed to things, like all of you, at Driebergen ... I should have been happy."

"Yes, but it is not your fault that you couldn't."

"I don't want a divorce," she said.

"Why not?"

"For my sake ... and the children's."

"The children's?"

"For their sake especially. No, Addie, I don't want it. Unless...."

"What?"

"Unless you want it ... for your own sake, to be free, to marry somebody else."

"No."

"Then I don't want it either. If you a.s.sure me...."