The Merry Wives of Windsor Part 11

_Fal._ Ten and eleven.

_Quick._ Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, her 80 husband, will be from home. Alas, the sweet woman leads an ill life with him! he's a very jealousy man: she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

_Fal._ Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her. 85

_Quick._ Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your wors.h.i.+p. Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you, too: and let me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as 90 any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other: and she bade me tell your wors.h.i.+p that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. 95

_Fal._ Not I, I a.s.sure thee: setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms.

_Quick._ Blessing on your heart for't!

_Fal._ But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me? 100

_Quick._ That were a jest indeed! they have not so little grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. 105 Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and, truly, she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no 110 remedy.

_Fal._ Why, I will.

_Quick._ Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and 115 the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.

_Fal._ Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along 120 with this woman. [_Exeunt Mistress Quickly and Robin._]

This news distracts me!

_Pist._ This punk is one of Cupid's carriers: Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights: Give fire: she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [_Exit._ 125

_Fal._ Sayest thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. 130

_Enter BARDOLPH._

_Bard._ Sir John, there's one Master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your wors.h.i.+p a morning's draught of sack.

_Fal._ Brook is his name?

_Bard._ Ay, sir. 135

_Fal._ Call him in. [_Exit Bardolph._] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page have I encompa.s.sed you? go to; via!

_Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised._

_Ford._ Bless you, sir!

_Fal._ And you, sir! Would you speak with me? 140

_Ford._ I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you.

_Fal._ You're welcome. What's your will?--Give us leave, drawer. [_Exit Bardolph._

_Ford._ Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; 145 my name is Brook.

_Fal._ Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.

_Ford._ Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand I think myself in better 150 plight for a lender than you are: the which hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.

_Fal._ Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.

_Ford._ Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles 155 me: if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.

_Fal._ Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.

_Ford._ I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing. 160

_Fal._ Speak, good Master Brook: I shall be glad to be your servant.

_Ford._ Sir, I hear you are a scholar,--I will be brief with you,--and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means, as desire, to make myself acquainted 165 with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own; that I may pa.s.s with a reproof the easier, sith you 170 yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender.

_Fal._ Very well, sir; proceed.

_Ford._ There is a gentlewoman in this town; her husband's name is Ford.

_Fal._ Well, sir. 175

_Ford._ I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could but n.i.g.g.ardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to 180 many to know what she would have given; briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel that I have 185 purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say this: 'Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues; Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.'

_Fal._ Have you received no promise of satisfaction at 190 her hands?

_Ford._ Never.

_Fal._ Have you importuned her to such a purpose?

_Ford._ Never.

_Fal._ Of what quality was your love, then? 195

_Ford._ Like a fair house built on another man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it.

_Fal._ To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?

_Ford._ When I have told you that, I have told you all. 200 Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic 205 in your place and person, generally allowed for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations.

_Fal._ O, sir!

_Ford._ Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only 210 give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you: if any man may, you may as soon as any.

_Fal._ Would it apply well to the vehemency of your 215 affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.

_Ford._ O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself: she is too bright to be looked 220 against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too, too strongly 225 embattled against me. What say you to't, Sir John?

_Fal._ Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.

_Ford._ O good sir! 230