The Merry Wives of Windsor Part 26

_Page._ Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come: And in this shape when you have brought him thither, What shall be done with him? what is your plot?

_Mrs Page._ That likewise have we thought upon, and thus: 45 Nan Page my daughter and my little son And three or four more of their growth we'll dress Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white, With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden, 50 As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met, Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once With some diffused song: upon their sight, We two in great amazedness will fly: Then let them all encircle him about, 55 And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight; And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel, In their so sacred paths he dares to tread In shape profane.

_Mrs Ford._ And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound, 60 And burn him with their tapers.

_Mrs Page._ The truth being known, We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit, And mock him home to Windsor.

_Ford._ The children must Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

_Evans._ I will teach the children their behaviours; and 65 I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

_Ford._ That will be excellent. I'll go and buy them vizards.

_Mrs Page._ My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, 70 Finely attired in a robe of white.

_Page._ That silk will I go buy. [_Aside_] And in that time Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away, And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight.

_Ford._ Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook: 75 He'll tell me all his purpose: sure, he'll come.

_Mrs Page._ Fear not you that. Go get us properties And tricking for our fairies.

_Evans._ Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries. [_Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans._ 80

_Mrs Page._ Go, Mistress Ford, Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.

[_Exit Mrs Ford._

I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.

That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; 85 And he my husband best of all affects.

The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [_Exit._

NOTES: IV, 4

SCENE IV.] SCENE VII. Pope.

1: _'oman_] _o'mans_ Q3.

7: _cold_] Rowe. _gold_ Ff Q3.

9: _as faith_] F1 Q3. _of faith_ F2 F3 F4.

11: _as extreme_] F1 Q3. om. _as_ F2 F3 F4.

11, 12: Printed in one line in Ff Q3.

20: _say_] _see_ Collier MS.

_in the rivers_] F1 Q3. _into the river_ F2 F3 F4.

22: _terrors_] _terror_ Q3.

29: _midnight_] F1 Q3. _of midnight_ F2 F3 F4.

30: _great ragg'd_] _ragged_ Pope.

31: _tree_] _trees_ Hanmer.

41: Here Theobald inserts from Q1 Q2, _We'll send him word to meet us in the field, Disguised like Herne_ [_Horne_ Q1 Q2] _with huge horns on his head._ Malone gives the second line only. See note (VIII).

56: _to-pinch_] Steevens (Tyrwhitt conj.).] _to pinch_ Ff Q3.

_too, pinch_ Warburton.

_fairy-like, to-pinch_] _like to fairies pinch_ Hanmer.

60: _him sound_] F2 F3 F4. _him, sound,_ F1 Q3. _him round,_ Pope.

_him soundly_ Collier MS.

67: _taber_] _taper_ Pope.

72: _time_] _tire_ Theobald.

75: _in name_] _in the name_ Q3.

86: _he_] _him_ Hanmer.

SCENE V. _A room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter HOST and SIMPLE._

_Host._ What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin?

speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

_Sim._ Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.

_Host._ There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his 5 standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.

_Sim._ There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into 10 his chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

_Host._ Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call. --Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, 15 calls.

_Fal._ [_Above_] How now, mine host!

_Host._ Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy? fie! 20

_Enter FALSTAFF._

_Fal._ There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

_Sim._ Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

_Fal._ Ay, marry, was it, muscle-sh.e.l.l: what would you 25 with her?

_Sim._ My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.

_Fal._ I spake with the old woman about it. 30

_Sim._ And what says she, I pray, sir?

_Fal._ Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of it.

_Sim._ I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too 35 from him.

_Fal._ What are they? let us know.

_Host._ Ay, come; quick.