Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honor Part 124

BASIL.

My dear, I'm willing to acknowledge that they have every grace and every virtue, but they rather bore me.

JENNY.

They wouldn't if they were swells.

[BASIL _gives a short laugh, but does not answer; and_ JENNY _irritated, continues more angrily_.

JENNY.

And after all we're not in such a bad position as all that. My mother's father was a gentleman.

BASIL.

I wish your mother's son were.

JENNY.

D'you know what Jimmie says you are?

BASIL.

I don't vastly care. But if it pleases you very much you may tell me.

JENNY.

[_Flus.h.i.+ng angrily._] He says you're a d.a.m.ned sn.o.b.

BASIL.

Is that all? I could have invented far worse things than that to say of myself.... [_With a change of tone._] You know, Jenny, it's not worth while to worry ourselves about such trifles. One can't force oneself to like people. I'm very sorry that I can't stand your relations. Why on earth don't you resign yourself and make the best of it?

JENNY.

[_Vindictively._] You don't think they're good enough for you to a.s.sociate with because they're not in swell positions.

BASIL.

My dear Jenny, I don't in the least object to their being grocers and haberdashers. I only wish they'd sell us things at cost price.

JENNY.

Jimmie isn't a grocer or a haberdasher. He's an auctioneer's clerk.

BASIL.

[_Ironically._] I humbly apologise. I thought he was a grocer, because last time he did us the honour of visiting us he asked how much a pound we paid for our tea and offered to sell us some at the same price....

But then he also offered to insure our house against fire and to sell me a gold mine in Australia.

JENNY.

Well, it's better to make a bit as best one can than to.... [_She stops._]

BASIL.

[_Smiling._] Go on. Pray don't hesitate for fear of hurting my feelings.

JENNY.

[_Defiantly._] Well, then, it's better to do that than moon about like you do.

BASIL.

[_Shrugging his shoulders._] Really, even to please you, I'm afraid I can't go about with little samples of tea in my pocket and sell my friends a pound or two when I call on them. Besides, I don't believe they'd ever pay me.

JENNY.

[_Scornfully._] Oh no, you're a gentleman and a barrister and an author, and you couldn't do anything to dirty those white hands that you're so careful about, could you?

BASIL.

[_Looking at his hands, then up at_ JENNY.] And what is it precisely you want me to do?

JENNY.

Well, you've been at the Bar for five years. I should have thought you could make something after all that time.

BASIL.

I can't force the wily solicitor to give me briefs.

JENNY.

How do other fellows manage it?

BASIL.

[_With a laugh._] The simplest way, I believe, is to marry the wily solicitor's daughter.

JENNY.

Instead of a barmaid?

BASIL.

[_Gravely._] I didn't say that, Jenny.