Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honor Part 27

MADAME CLAUDE.

Oh, Lady Frederick, I should be very much flattered. But how did you know that was my name?

LADY FREDERICK.

Why you wrote me a letter only the other day.

MADAME CLAUDE.

Did I?

LADY FREDERICK.

And such a cross letter too.

MADAME CLAUDE.

[_Apologetically._] Oh, but Lady Frederick, that was only in the way of business. I don't exactly remember what expressions I may have made use of----

LADY FREDERICK.

[_Interrupting, as if the truth had suddenly flashed across her._] Ada!

I do believe you came here to-day about my account.

MADAME CLAUDE.

Oh, no, my lady, I promise you.

LADY FREDERICK.

You did; I know you did. I see it in your face. Now that really wasn't nice of you. I thought you came as a friend.

MADAME CLAUDE.

I did, Lady Frederick.

LADY FREDERICK.

No, you wanted to dun me. I'm disappointed in you. I did think, after all the things I've had from you, you wouldn't treat me like that.

MADAME CLAUDE.

But I a.s.sure your ladys.h.i.+p....

LADY FREDERICK.

Not another word. You came to ask for a cheque. You shall have it.

MADAME CLAUDE.

No, Lady Frederick, I wouldn't take it.

LADY FREDERICK.

What is the exact figure, Madame Claude?

MADAME CLAUDE.

I--I don't remember.

LADY FREDERICK.

Seven hundred and fifty pounds, seventeen and ninepence. You see, I remember. You came for your cheque and you shall have it.

[_She sits down and takes a pen._

MADAME CLAUDE.

Now, Lady Frederick, I should look upon that as most unkind. It's treating me like a very second-rate establishment.

LADY FREDERICK.

I'm sorry, but you should have thought of that before. Now I haven't got a cheque; how tiresome.

MADAME CLAUDE.

Oh, it doesn't matter, Lady Frederick. I promise you it never entered my 'ead.

LADY FREDERICK.

What shall I do?

FOULDES.

You can write it on a sheet of paper, you know.

LADY FREDERICK.

[_With a look, aside to him._] Monster! [_Aloud._] Of course I can. I hadn't thought of that. [_She takes a sheet of paper._] But how on earth am I to get a stamp?

FOULDES.

[_Much amused._] I happen to have one on me.

LADY FREDERICK.

I wonder why on earth you should have English stamps in Monte Carlo?