The Young Step-Mother Part 29

'Well,' said Albinia, 'at least there is one beer-shop less in Tibbs's Alley. And if there are tolerable seasons, I daresay paint, whitewash, and windows to open, may keep the place moderately wholesome till--Are you sixteen yet, Gilbert? Five years.'

'Yes, and then--'

Gilbert came and sat down beside her, and they built a scheme for the almshouses so much wanted. Gilbert was sure the acc.u.mulation would easily cover the expense, and Albinia had many an old woman, who it was hoped might live to enjoy the intended paradise there.

'Yes, yes, I promise,' cried Gilbert, warming with the subject, 'the first thing I shall do--'

'No, don't promise,' said Albinia. 'Do it from your heart, or not at all.'

'No, don't promise, Gilbert,' said Sophy.

'Why not, Sophy?' he said good-humouredly.

'Because you are just what you feel at the moment,' said Sophy.

'You don't think I should keep it?'

'No.'

The grave answer fell like lead, and Albinia told her she was not kind or just to her brother. But she still looked steadily at him, and answered, 'I cannot help it. What is truth, is truth, and Gilbert cares only for what he sees at the moment.'

'What is truth need not always be fully uttered,' said Albinia. 'I hope you may find it untrue.'

But Sophy's words would recur, and weigh on her painfully.

CHAPTER XI.

The summer had just begun, when notice was given that a Confirmation would take place in the autumn; and Lucy's name was one of the first sent in to Mr. Dusautoy. His plan was to collect his candidates in weekly cla.s.ses of a few at a time, and likewise to see as much as he could of them in private.

'Oh! mamma!' exclaimed Lucy, returning from her first cla.s.s, 'Mr.

Dusautoy has given us each a paper, where we are to set down our christening days, and our G.o.dfathers and G.o.dmothers. And only think, I had not the least notion when I was christened. I could tell nothing but that Mr. Wenlock was my G.o.dfather! It made me feel quite foolish not to know my G.o.dmothers.'

'We were in no situation to have things done in order,' said Mr. Kendal, gravely. 'If I recollect rightly, one of your G.o.dmothers was Captain Lee's pretty young wife, who died a few weeks after.'

'And the other?' said Lucy.

'Your mother, I believe,' he said.

Lucy employed herself in filling up her paper, and exclaimed, 'Now I do not know the date! Can you tell me that, papa?'

'It was the Christmas-day next after your birth,' he said. 'I remember that, for we took you to spend Christmas at the nearest station of troops, and the chaplain christened you.'

Lucy wrote down the particulars, and exclaimed, 'What an old baby I must have been! Six months old! And I wonder when Sophy was christened.

I never knew who any of her G.o.dfathers and G.o.dmothers were. Did you, Sophy?'

'No--' she was looking up at her father.

A sudden flush of colour came over his face, and he left the room in haste.

'Why, Sophy!' exclaimed Lucy, 'one would think you had not been christened at all!'

Even the light Lucy was alarmed at the sound of her own words. The same idea had thrilled across Albinia; but on turning her eyes on Sophy, she saw a countenance flushed, anxious, but full rather of trembling hope than of dismay.

In a few seconds Mr. Kendal came back with a thick red pocket-book in his hand, and produced the certificate of the private baptism of Sophia, daughter of Edmund and Lucy Kendal, at Talloon, March 17th, 1838.

Sophy's face had more disappointment in it than satisfaction.

'I can explain the circ.u.mstances to you now,' said her father. 'At Talloon we were almost out of reach of any chaplains, and, as you know, were almost the only English. We always intended to take you to the nearest station, as had been done with Lucy, but your dear mother was never well enough to bear the journey; and when our next little one was born, it was so plain that he could not live, that I sent in haste to beg that the chaplain would come to us. It was then that you were both baptized, and before the week was over, he buried little Henry. It was the first of our troubles. We never again had health or spirits for any festive occasion while we continued in India, and thus the ceremony was never completed. In fact, I take shame to myself for having entirely forgotten that you had never been received into the congregation.'

'Then I have told a falsehood whenever I said the Catechism!' burst out Sophy. Lucy would have laughed, and Albinia could almost have been amused at the turn her displeasure had taken.

'It was not your fault,' said Mr. Kendal, quietly.

He evidently wished the subject to be at an end, excepting that in silence he laid before Albinia's eyes the certificate of the baptism of the twin-brothers, not long after the first arrival in India. He then put the book in his pocket, and began, as usual, to read aloud.

'Oh, don't go, mamma,' said Sophy, when she had been carried to her own room at bed-time, and made ready for the night.

Albinia was only too glad to linger, in the hope to be admitted into some of the recesses of that untransparent nature, and by way of a.s.sistance, said, 'I was not at all prepared for this discovery.'

Sophy drew a long sigh, and said, 'If I had never been christened, I should have thought there was some hope for me.'

'That would have been too dreadful. How could you imagine your papa capable--?'

'I thought I had found out why I am so horrid! exclaimed Sophy. 'Oh, if I could only make a fresh beginning! Mamma, do pray give me a Prayer Book.'

Albinia gave it to her, and she hastily turned the pages to the Order for Private Baptism.

'At least I have not made the promises and vows!' she said, as if her stern conscientiousness obtained some relief.

'Not formally made them,' said Albinia; 'but you cannot have a right to the baptismal blessings, except on those conditions.'

'Mamma, then I never had the sign of the cross on my forehead! It does not feel blest!' And then, hastily and low, she muttered,' Oh! is that why I never could bear the cross in all my life!'

'Nay, my poor Sophy, you must not think of it like a spell. Many bear the cross no better, who have had it marked on their brows.'

'Can it be done now?' cried Sophy, eagerly.

'Certainly; I think it ought to be done. We will see what your father says.'

'Oh, mamma, beg him, pray him!' exclaimed Sophy. 'I know it will make me begin to be good! I can't bear not to be one of those marked and sealed.

Oh! and, mamma, you will be my G.o.dmother? Can't you? If the gleams of goodness and brightness do find me out, they are always from you.'

'I think I might be, dear child,' said Albinia, 'but Mr. Dusautoy must tell us whether I may. But, indeed, I am afraid to see you reckon too much on this. The essential, the regenerating grace, is yours already, and can save you from yourself, and Confirmation adds the rest--but you must not think of any of these like a charm, which will save you all further trouble with yourself. They do not kill the faults, but they enable you to deal with them. Even baptism itself, you know, has destroyed the guilt of past sin, but does not hinder subsequent temptation.'