Captain Pott's Minister Part 23

"You are talking nonsense!"

"Perhaps, but truth sometimes masquerades in the garb of the court fool."

"Just what do you mean?"

"I wish to heaven I knew!"

"Do you think----" She paused. She searched his face, which was dimly and fitfully lighted by the moonbeams as they broke through the phantom-like clouds that were beginning to sweep the heavens. "Tell me, please, just what it is you are thinking."

"I dare not. But there is some reason not yet come to light, and it is sheltered in the mind of Mr. Means."

"Perhaps he knew you before you entered the ministry?" she half suggested, half questioned.

"I have no recollection of even so much as meeting him before coming before the ordaining Presbytery of which he was a member. So far as the history of my life is concerned, he may find out the whole of it, if he so wishes. It wouldn't make very interesting reading, though. Miss Fox,"--his voice took on the quality of his earnestness,--"if you have any way of finding out what the actual cause is for the conditions in my church, I shall do all in my power to make amends, providing the fault is mine."

"Why don't you go to him? He might be reasonable, and listen to you."

"Didn't I go to him? Didn't I try to find out what I had done till you and the doctor forbid my coming again?"

"I don't mean Father. Why don't you go to Mr. Means?"

"Would you, if you were in my position?"

She shook her head decidedly. "But I don't like him."

"Perhaps that may be my reason, too."

"But I thought all ministers had to love everybody."

"We might love the man, but not his ways."

"There's no merit in saying a thing like that when a man and his ways are one and the same thing, as is the case with Mr. Means."

"I'm honest when I say I have nothing against Mr. Means. I don't know the man well enough for that. I suppose he can't help his ways."

"There, you've gone and spoiled it. I was beginning to think that you are like other men."

"Like other men?"

"Men who love and hate. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you are really fond of that man who fought you at the Inn."

"He was a good boxer," was the enthusiastic reply.

"And you like him?"

"I might if I knew him."

"Can you fight everybody like that, and still have love for them?"

"Self-control is the better word. Unless a man can learn that, he had better stay out of the ring. What is true in boxing, is just as true in life."

"But, when there are those who threaten to wreck your whole life and your work, what are you going to do?"

"That is the time when one needs to summon every ounce of self-control he possesses. It is when the other man is seeking to land a knock-out blow that one needs to keep his head the coolest, for unless he does he can't make his best calculations."

"Oh, Mr. McGowan! You'll keep that way in this trouble, and not let any of them get in that kind of blow?"

"Yes, if you will only help me."

"I help you? But I can't!"

"No one else can."

"Oh!" cried the girl, beginning to take in the meaning of his words.

"Elizabeth----"

"Don't say it, please!" Her fingers went to her lips in a hurt gesture.

"You may spoil everything."

"I must speak. I love you! I have loved you from the first day beneath that old elm-tree on the Captain's place."

"Oh!"--she sprang to her feet and faced him,--"now, you have made it impossible for me to help you, where before I might have done something!"

"Only if you say so."

"I did so want to help you! You seem so alone in this trouble! I thought you were going to give me an opportunity. I thought you would tell me how!" Her mobile lips puckered as the shadow of pain flitted across the light of her eyes.

"Elizabeth!" he called, holding out his hand.

"Why did you say that to me?" she cried, her youthful face deeply furrowed as though she had grown suddenly very tired.

"Because I could not help it. I've known so little of love in my life that since this has come to me it hurts like the turning of a knife.

I've never been accustomed to human care like other men. Had I been, I should have been able to hide my feelings behind the screen of pretense.

You asked me a while ago why I do not love and hate like other men. I do love, and I hate! I have been schooled all my life to hide my hates, but experience neglected me with the other. Elizabeth----"

She drew farther from him.

"I don't think I understand you," she said, her eyes widening in the light of the moon till they appeared like two s.h.i.+ning orbs. "Have I given you any reason to think of me like that?"

"No. But I thought----"

She drew into the shadows that he might not see the rapid rise and fall of her bosom. "Forgive me, if I have!"

"I'm the one to be forgiven. I've never had much instruction concerning social custom. I was reared where they were little known. In school I was too busy to bother about them. I'm crude. But, Elizabeth, I love you. I see now that I've no right to tell you, but I couldn't help it.

I've been driven to desperation. I have been like a caged animal for weeks past. I've been wild for just a little love and understanding in the midst of all I've gone through. But you don't love me!" His breath was coming hard. He trembled as he rose. "You will love me some day! G.o.d will not let a man love as I do and give nothing in return!"

Stirred with pity, Elizabeth came to him from out the darkness.