The Cell of Self-Knowledge Part 2

THUS when the enemy fleeth and the city is peased,[78] then beginneth a man to prove what the high peace of G.o.d is that pa.s.seth man's wit. And therefore it is that Leah left bearing of children unto this time that Gad and Asher were born of Zilpah, her maiden.

For truly, but if it be so that a man have refrained the l.u.s.t and the pain of his five wits in his sensuality by abstinence and patience, he shall never feel inward sweetness and true joy in G.o.d and ghostly things in the affection. This is that Issachar, the fifth son of Leah, the which in the story is cleped "Meed."[79] [And well is this joy of inward sweetness cleped "meed"];[80] for this joy is the taste of heavenly bliss, the which is the endless meed of a devout soul, beginning here. Leah, in the birth of this child, said: "G.o.d hath given me meed, for that I have given my maiden to my husband in bearing of children."[81] And so it is good that we make our sensuality bear fruit in abstaining it from all manner of fleshly, kindly, and worldly delight, and in fruitful suffering of all fleshly and worldly disease; therefore our Lord of His great mercy giveth us joy unspeakable and inward sweetness in our affection, in earnest[82] of the sovereign joy and meed of the kingdom of heaven. Jacob said of Issachar that he was "a strong a.s.s dwelling between the terms."[83] And so it is that a man in this state, and that feeleth the earnest of everlasting joy in his affection, is as "an a.s.s, strong and dwelling between the terms"; because that, be he never so filled in soul of ghostly gladness and joy in G.o.d, yet, for corruption of the flesh in this deadly life, him behoveth bear the charge of the deadly body, as hunger, thirst, and cold, sleep, and many other diseases; for the which he is likened to an a.s.s as in body; but as in soul he is strong for to destroy all the pa.s.sions and the l.u.s.ts of the flesh by patience and abstinence in the sensuality, and by abundance of ghostly joy and sweetness in the affection. And also a soul in this state is dwelling between the terms of deadly life and undeadly life. He that dwelleth between the terms hath nearhand forsaken deadliness, but not fully, and hath nearhand gotten undeadliness, but not fully; for whiles that him needeth the goods of this world, as meat and drink and clothing, as it falleth to each man that liveth, yet his one foot is in this deadly life; and for great abundance of ghostly joy and sweetness that he feeleth in G.o.d, not seldom but oft, he hath his other foot in the undeadly life. Thus I trow that saint Paul felt, when he said this word of great desire: "Who shall deliver me from this deadly body?"[84] And when he said thus: "I covet to be loosed and to be with Christ."[85] And thus doth the soul that feeleth Issachar in his affection, that is to say, the joy of inward sweetness, the which is understanden by Issachar. It enforceth it to forsake this wretched life, but it may not; it coveteth to enter the blessed life, but it may not; it doth that it may, and yet it dwelleth between the terms.

CAPITULUM VIII

HOW PERFECT HATRED OF SIN RISETH IN THE AFFECTION

AND therefore it is that after Issachar Zebulun is born, that is to say, hatred of sin. And here it is to wete why that hatred of sin is never perfectly felt in a man's affection, ere the time that ghostly joy of inward sweetness be felt in the affection, and this is the skill: for ere this time was never the true cause of hatred felt in the affection. For the feeling of ghostly joy teacheth a man what sin harmeth the soul. And all after that the harm in the soul is felt much or little, thereafter is the hatred measured, more or less, unto the harming. But when a soul, by the grace of G.o.d and long travail, is come to feeling of ghostly joy in G.o.d, then it feeleth that sin hath been the cause of the delaying thereof. And also when he feeleth that he may not alway last in the feeling of that ghostly joy, for the corruption of the flesh, of the which corruption sin is the cause; then he riseth with a strong feeling of hatred against all sin and all kind of sin. This feeling taught David us to have, where he saith in the psalm: "Be ye wroth and will ye not sin";[86] that is thus to mean: Be ye wroth with the sin, but not with the kind.[87] For kind stirreth to the deed, but not to sin. And here it is to wete that this wrath and this hatred is not contrary to charity, but charity teacheth how it shall be had both in a man's self and in his even Christian;[88] for a man should [not] hate sin [so that he destroy his kind, but so that he destroy the sin and the appet.i.te of sin] in his kind. And, as against our even Christian, we ought to hate sin in him, and to love him; and of this hatred speaketh David in the psalm, where he saith thus: "With perfect hatred I hated them."[89] And in another psalm he saith that "he had in hatred all wicked ways."[90] Thus it is well proved that, ere Zebulun was born, Judah and Issachar were both born. For but if a man have had charity and ghostly joy in his feeling first, he may in no wise feel this perfect hatred of sin in his affection. For Judah, that is to say, charity, teacheth us how we shall hate sin in ourself and in our brethren; and Issachar, that is to say, ghostly feeling of joy in G.o.d, teacheth us why we shall hate sin in ourself and in our brethren. Judah biddeth us hate sin and love the kind; and Issachar biddeth us destroy the sin and save the kind; and thus it falleth for to be that the kind may be made strong in G.o.d and in ghostly things by perfect hatred and destroying of sin. And therefore is Zebulun cleped in the story "a dwelling stead of strength."[91] And Leah said in his birth: "My husband shall now dwell with me";[92] and so it is that G.o.d, that is the true husband of our soul, is dwelling in that soul, strengthening it in the affection with ghostly joy and sweetness in His love, that travaileth busily to destroy sin in himself and in others by perfect hatred of the sin and all the kind of sin. And thus it is said how Zebulun is born.

CAPITULUM IX

HOW ORDAINED SHAME RISETH AND GROWETH IN THE AFFECTION

BUT though all that a soul through grace feel in it perfect hatred of sin, whether it may yet live without sin? Nay, sikerly;[93] and therefore let no man presume of himself, when the Apostle saith thus: "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourself, and soothfastness is not in us."[94] And also saint Austin saith that he dare well say that there is no man living without sin.[95] And I pray thee, who is he that sinneth not in ignorance? Yea, and oft times it falleth that G.o.d suffereth those men to fall full grievously by the which He hath ordained other men's errors to be righted, that they may learn by their own falling how merciful they shall be in amending of others. And for that oft times men fall grievously in those same sins that they most hate, therefore, after hatred of sin, springeth ordained shame in a man's soul; and so it is that after Zebulun was Dinah born. As by Zebulun hatred of sin, so by Dinah is understanden ordained shame of sin. But wete thou well: he that felt never Zebulun, felt never yet Dinah. Evil men have a manner of shame, but it is not this ordained shame. For why, if they had perfect shame of sin, they should not so customably do it with will and advis.e.m.e.nt;[96] but they shame more with a foul cloth on their body, than with a foul thought in their soul. But what so thou be that weenest that thou hast gotten Dinah, think whether thee would shame as much if a foul thought were in thine heart, as thee would if thou were made to stand naked before the king and all his royalme; and sikerly else wete it thou right well that thou hast not yet gotten ordained shame in thy feeling, if so be that thou have less shame with thy foul heart than with thy foul body, and if thou think more shame with thy foul body in the sight of men than with thy foul heart in the sight of the King of heaven and of all His angels and holy saints in heaven.

Lo, it is now said of the seven children of Leah, by the which are understanden seven manner of affections in a man's soul, the which may be now ordained and now unordained, now measured and now unmeasured; but when they are ordained and measured, then are they virtues; and when they are unordained and unmeasured, then are they vices. Thus behoveth a man have children[97] that they be not only ordained, but also measured. Then are they ordained when they are of that thing that they should be, and then are they unordained when they are of that thing that they should not be; and then are they measured when they are as much as they should be, and then are they unmeasured when they are more than they should be. For why, overmuch dread bringeth in despair, and overmuch sorrow casteth a man in to bitterness and heaviness of kind,[98] for the which he is unable to receive ghostly comfort. And overmuch hope is presumption, and outrageous love is but flattering and f.a.ging,[99] and outrageous gladness is dissolution and wantonness, and untempered hatred of sin is woodness.[100] And on this manner, they are unordained and unmeasured, and thus are they turned in to vices, and then lose they the name of virtues, and may not be accounted amongst the sons of Jacob, that is to say, G.o.d: for by Jacob is understanden G.o.d, as it is shewed in the figure before.

CAPITULUM X

HOW DISCRETION AND CONTEMPLATION RISE IN THE REASON

Thus it seemeth that the virtue of discretion needeth to be had, with the which all others may be governed; for without it all virtues are turned in to vices. This is Joseph, that is the late born child, but yet his father loveth him more than them all. For why, without discretion may neither goodness be gotten nor kept, and therefore no wonder though that virtue be singularly loved, without which no virtue may be had nor governed. But what wonder though this virtue be late gotten, when we may not win to the perfection of discretion without much custom and many travails of these other affections coming before? For first behoveth us to be used in each virtue by itself, and get the proof of them all serely,[101] ere we may have full knowing of them all, or else can deem sufficiently of them all. And when we use us busily in these feelings and beholdings before said, oft times we fall and oft times we rise. Then, by our oft falling, may we learn how much wariness us behoveth have in the getting and keeping of these virtues. And thus sometime, by long use, a soul is led into full discretion, and then it may joy in the birth of Joseph. And before this virtue be conceived in a man's soul, all that these other virtues do, it is without discretion. And therefore, in as much as a man presumeth and enforceth him in any of these feelings beforesaid, over his might and out of measure, in so much the fouler he falleth and faileth of his purpose. And therefore it is that, after them all and last, is Dinah born; for often, after a foul fall and a failing, cometh soon shame. And thus after many failings and failings, and shames following, a man learneth by the proof that there is nothing better than to be ruled after counsel, the which is the readiest getting of discretion. For why, he that doth all things with counsel, he shall never forthink[102] it; for better is a sly man than a strong man; yea, and better is list than lither strength,[103] and a sly man speaketh of victories. And here is the open skill why that neither Leah nor Zilpah nor Bilhah might bear such a child, but only Rachel; for, as it is said before, that of reason springeth right counsel, the which is very discretion, understanden by Joseph, the first son of Rachel; and then at the first bring we forth Joseph in our reason when all that we are stirred to do, we do it with counsel. This Joseph shall not only know what sins we are most stirred unto, but also he shall know the weakness of our kind, and after that either asketh, so shall he do remedy, and seek counsel at wiser than he, and do after them, or else he is not Joseph, Jacob's son born of Rachel. And also by this foresaid[104] Joseph a man is not only learned to eschew the deceits of his enemies, but also oft a man is led by him to the perfect knowing of himself; and all after that a man knoweth himself, thereafter he profiteth in the knowing of G.o.d, of whom he is the image and the likeness. And therefore it is that after Joseph is Benjamin born. For as by Joseph discretion, so by Benjamin we understand contemplation. And both are they born of one mother, and gotten of one father. For through the grace of G.o.d lightening our reason, come we to the perfect knowing of ourself and of G.o.d, that is to say, after that it may be in this life. But long after Joseph is Benjamin born. For why, truly but if it so be that we use us busily and long in ghostly travails, with the which we are learned to know ourself, we may not be raised in to the knowing and contemplation of G.o.d. He doth for nought that lifteth up his eye to the sight of G.o.d, that is not yet able to see himself. For first I would that a man learned him to know the unseeable[105] things of his own spirit, ere he presume to know the unseeable things of the spirit of G.o.d; and he that knoweth not yet himself and weeneth that he hath gotten somedeal knowing of the unseeable things of G.o.d, I doubt it not but that he is deceived; and therefore I rede that a man seek first busily for to know himself, the which is made to the image and the likeness of G.o.d as in soul. And wete thou well that he that desireth for to see G.o.d, him behoveth to cleanse his soul, the which is as a mirror in the which all things are clearly seen, when it is clean; and when the mirror is foul, then mayst thou see nothing clearly therein; and right so it is of thy soul, when it is foul, neither thou knowest thyself nor G.o.d. As when the candle brenneth, thou mayst then see the self candle[106] by the light thereof, and other things also; right so, when thy soul brenneth in the love of G.o.d, that is, when thou feelest continually thine heart desire after the love of G.o.d, then, by the light of His grace that He sendeth in thy reason, thou mayst see both thine own unworthiness and His great goodness. And therefore cleanse thy mirror and proffer thy candle to the fire; and then, when thy mirror is cleansed and thy candle brenning, and it so be that thou wittily behold thereto, then beginneth there a manner of clarity of the light of G.o.d for to s.h.i.+ne in thy soul, and a manner of sunbeam that is ghostly to appear before thy ghostly sight, through the which the eye of thy soul is opened to behold G.o.d and G.o.dly things, heaven and heavenly things, and all manner of ghostly things. But this sight is but by times, when G.o.d will vouchsafe for to give it to a working[107] soul, the whiles it is in the battle of this deadly life; but after this life it shall be everlasting. This light shone in the soul of David, when he said thus in the psalm: "Lord, the light of Thy face is marked upon us; Thou hast given gladness within mine heart."[108] The light of G.o.d's face is the s.h.i.+ning of His grace, that reformeth in us His image that hath been disfigured with the darkness of sin; and therefore a soul that brenneth in desire of His sight,[109] if it hope for to have that that it desireth, wete it well it hath conceived Benjamin. And, therefore, what is more healfull[110] than the sweetness of this sight, or what softer thing may be felt?

Sikerly, none; and that woteth Rachel full well. For why, reason saith that, in comparison of this sweetness, all other sweetness is sorrow, and bitter as gall before honey. Nevertheless, yet may a man never come to such a grace by his own slight.[111] For why, it is the gift of G.o.d without desert of man. But without doubt, though it be not the desert of man, yet no man may take such grace without great study and brenning desires coming before; and that woteth Rachel full well, and therefore she multiplieth her study, and whetteth her desires, seeking desire upon desire;[112] so that at the last, in great abundance of brenning desires and sorrow of the delaying of her desire, Benjamin is born, and his mother Rachel dieth;[113] for why, in what time that a soul is ravished above itself by abundance of desires and a great mult.i.tude of love, so that it is inflamed with the light of the G.o.dhead, sikerly then dieth all man's reason.

And therefore, what so thou be that covetest to come to contemplation of G.o.d, that is to say, to bring forth such a child that men clepen in the story Benjamin (that is to say, sight of G.o.d), then shalt thou use thee in this manner. Thou shalt call together thy thoughts and thy desires, and make thee of them a church, and learn thee therein for to love only this good word Jesu, so that all thy desires and all thy thoughts are only set for to love Jesu, and that unceasingly as it may be here; so that thou fulfill that is said in the psalm: "Lord, I shall bless Thee in churches";[114] that is, in thoughts and desires of the love of Jesu. And then, in this church of thoughts and desires, and in this onehead of studies and of wills, look that all thy thoughts, and all thy desires, and all thy studies, and all thy wills be only set in the love and the praising of this Lord Jesu, without forgetting, as far forth as thou mayst by grace, and as thy frailty will suffer; evermore meeking thee to prayer and to counsel, patiently abiding the will of our Lord, unto the time that thy mind be ravished above itself, to be fed with the fair food of angels in the beholding of G.o.d and ghostly things:[115] so that it be fulfilled in thee that is written in the psalm: Ibi Benjamin adolesentulus in mentis excessu;[116] that is: "There is Benjamin, the young child, in ravis.h.i.+ng of mind." The grace of Jesu keep thee evermore.[117] Amen

DEO GRATIAS

II.

HERE FOLLOWETH DIVERS DOCTRINES DEVOUT AND FRUITFUL, TAKEN OUT OF THE LIFE OF THAT GLORIOUS VIRGIN AND SPOUSE OF OUR LORD, SAINT KATHERIN OF SEENES. AND FIRST THOSE WHICH OUR LORD TAUGHT AND SHEWED TO HERSELF, AND SITH THOSE WHICH SHE TAUGHT AND SHEWED UNTO OTHERS

THE first doctrine of our Lord is this:

"Knowest thou not, daughter, who thou art and who I am? If thou know well these two words, thou art and shalt be blessed. Thou art she that art nought; and I am He that am ought.[118] If thou have the very knowledge of these two things in thy soul, thy ghostly enemy shall never deceive thee, but thou shalt eschew graciously all his malice;[119] and thou shalt never consent to any thing that is against My commandments and precepts, but all grace, all truth, and all charity thou shalt win without any hardness."

The second doctrine of our Lord is this:

"Think on Me, and I shall think on thee."

In declaring of which doctrine she was wont to say that:

"A soul which is verily united to G.o.d perceiveth not, seeth not, nor loveth not herself, nor none other soul, nor hath no mind of no creature but only on G.o.d."

And these words she expoundeth more expressly, and saith thus:

"Such a soul seeth herself, that she is very nought of herself, and knoweth perfectly that all the goodness, with all the mights of the soul, is her Maker's. She forsaketh utterly herself and all creatures, and hideth herself fully in her Maker, our Lord Jesu; in so much that she sendeth fully and princ.i.p.ally all her ghostly and bodily workings in to Him; in whom she perceiveth that she may find all goodness, and all perfection of blessedness. And, therefore, she shall have no will to go out from such inward knowledge of Him for nothing.[120] And of this unity of love, that is increased every day in such a soul, she is transformed in a manner in to our Lord, that she may neither think, nor understand, nor love, nor have no mind but G.o.d, or else in G.o.d. For she may not see herself, nor none other creature, but only in G.o.d; nor she may not love herself, nor none other, but only in G.o.d; nor she may have no mind of herself nor of none other, but only in G.o.d, nor she may have no mind but only of her Maker. And therefore," she said, "we shall have none other business but only to think how we may please Him, unto whom we have committed all our governance both in body and soul."

The third doctrine of our Lord is this; in obtaining of virtue and ghostly strength:

"Daughter, if thou wilt get unto thee virtue and also ghostly strength,[121] thou must follow Me. Albeit that I might by My G.o.dly virtue have overcome all the power of the fiends by many manner ways of overcoming, yet, for to give you ensample by My manhood, I would not overcome him but only by taking of death upon the Cross, that ye might be taught thereby, if ye will overcome your ghostly enemies, for to take the Cross as I did; the which Cross shall be to you a great refres.h.i.+ng in all your temptations, if ye have mind of the pains that I suffered thereon.[122] And certainly the pains of the Cross may well be called refres.h.i.+ng of temptations, for the more pain ye suffer for My love, the more like ye be to Me. And if ye be so like to Me in pa.s.sion, needs ye must be like to Me in joy.[123]

Therefore for My love, daughter, suffer patiently bitter things, and not sweet things; and doubt in no wise, for thou shalt be strong enough for to suffer all things patiently."

The first doctrine of this glorious virgin is this:

"A soul which is verily mete[124] to G.o.d, as much as it hath of the love of G.o.d, so much it hath of the hate of her own sensuality. For of the love of G.o.d naturally cometh hate of sin, the which is done against G.o.d. The soul, therefore, considering that the root and beginning of sin reigneth in the sensuality, and there princ.i.p.ally is rooted, she is moved and stirred highly and holily with all her mights against her own sensuality; not utterly to destroy the root, for that may not be, as long as the soul dwelleth in the body living in this life, but ever there shall be left a root, namely of small venial sins. And because she may not utterly destroy the root of sin thus in her sensuality, she conceiveth a great displeasaunce against her sensuality, of the which displeasaunce springeth an holy hate and a despising of the sensuality, by the which the soul is ever well kept from her ghostly enemies. There is nothing that keepeth the soul so strong and so sure as doth such an holy hate. And that felt well the Apostle, when he said: c.u.m infirmor, tonc fortior sum et potens;[125] that is: When I am sick and feeble in my sensuality by hate of sin, then am I stronger and mightier in my soul. Lo, of such hate cometh virtue, of such feebleness cometh strength, and of such displeasaunce cometh pleasaunce. This holy hate maketh a man meek, and to feel meek things of himself. It maketh him patient in adversity, temperate in prosperity, and setteth him in all honesty of virtue, and maketh him to be loved both of G.o.d and man. And where this holy hate is not, there is inordinate love, which is the stinking ca.n.a.l of all sin, and root[126] of all evil concupiscence.

Do therefore," she saith, "your business to put away such inordinate love of your own self, out of your hearts, and plant therein holy hate of sin. For certain that is the right way to perfection, and amendment of all sin."

Here is a common answer which she used to say to the fiends:

"I trust in my Lord Jesu Christ, and not in myself."

Here is a rule how we shall behave us in time of temptation:

"When temptation," she saith, "ariseth in us, we should never dispute nor make questions; for that is," she saith, "that the fiend most seeketh of us for to fall in questions with him. He trusteth so highly in the great subtlety of his malice, that he should overcome us with his sophistical reasons. Therefore a soul should never make questions, nor answer to the questions of the fiend, but rather turn her to devout prayer, and commend her to our Lord that she consent not to his subtle demands; for by virtue of devout prayer, and steadfast faith, we may overcome all the subtle temptations of the fiend."

Here is a good conceit of this holy maid to eschew the temptations of the fiend:

"It happeneth," she said, "that otherwhile[127] the devout fervour of a soul loving our Lord Jesu, either by some certain sin, or else by some new subtle temptations of the fiend, waxeth dull and slow, and otherwhile it is brought to very coldness;[128] in so much that some unwitty folks, considering that they be dest.i.tute from the ghostly comfort the which they were wont to have, leave[129]

therefore the ghostly exercise that they were wont to use of prayer, of meditations, of reading, of holy communications, and of penance doing; whereby they be made more ready to be overcome of the fiend.

For he desireth nothing else of Christ's knights, but that they should put away their armour by the which they were wont to overcome their enemies. A wise knight of our Lord Jesu should not do so. But thus, the more he feeleth[130] himself dull and slow, or cold in devotion, the rather he should continue in his ghostly exercise, and not for to make them less, but rather increase them."

Here is another doctrine of this holy maid, the which she used to say to herself in edifying of others:

"Thou vile and wretched creature, art thou worthy any manner of comfort in this life? Why hast thou not mind of thy sins? What supposest thou of thyself, wretched sinner? Is it not enough to thee, trowest thou not, that thou art escaped by the mercy of our Lord from everlasting d.a.m.nation? Therefore thou shouldest be well apaid,[131] wretch, though thou suffer all the pains and darkness of thy soul all the days of thy life. Why art thou, then, heavy and sorrowful to suffer such pains, sith by G.o.d's grace thou shalt escape endless pains with Christ Jesu without any doubt, and be comforted endlessly, if thou bear these pains patiently. Whether hast thou chosen to serve our Lord only for the comfort that thou mayst have of Him in this life? Nay, but for the comfort that thou shalt have of Him in the bliss of heaven. Therefore arise up now, and cease never of thy ghostly exercise that thou hast used, but rather increase to them more."

Here is an answer by the which she had a final victory of the fiend, after long threats of intolerable pains:

"I have chosen pain for my refres.h.i.+ng, and therefore it is not hard to me to suffer them, but rather delectable for the love of my Saviour, as long as it pleaseth His Majesty that I shall suffer them."

Here is a doctrine of the said virgin, how we should use the grace of our Lord:

"Who so could use the grace of our Lord, he should ever have the victory of all things that falleth to him. For as often," she said, "as any new thing falleth to a man, be it of prosperity or adversity, he should think in himself thus: Of this will I win somewhat. For he that can do so, shall soon be rich in virtue."