The Cell of Self-Knowledge Part 4

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that he be meek in his own feeling, and hold this mind in regard nought, till he may, by custom and using of this mind, feel the fire of love in his affection, and the light of knowing in his reason.

Lo, I have told thee in this matter a little, as me thinketh; not affirming that this sufficeth, nor that this is the soothfastness in this matter. But if thou think it otherwise, or else any other man savour by grace the contrary hereto, I leave this saying, and give stead to him; it sufficeth to me for to live in truth[184]

princ.i.p.ally, and not in feeling.

EXPLICIT

V.

HERE AFTER FOLLOWETH A DEVOUT TREATISE CALLED THE EPISTLE OF PRAYER

GHOSTLY friend in G.o.d, as touching thine asking of me, how thou shalt rule thine heart in the time of thy prayer, I answer unto thee thus feebly as I can. And I say that me thinketh that it should be full speedful unto thee at the first beginning of thy prayer, what prayer so ever it be, long or short, for to make it full known unto thine heart, without any feigning, that thou shalt die at the end of thy prayer.[185] And wete thou well that this is no feigned thought that I tell thee, and see why; for truly there is no man living in this life that dare take upon him to say the contrary: that is to say, that thou shalt live longer than thy prayer is in doing. And, therefore, thou mayst think it safely, and I counsel thee to do it.

For, if thou do it, thou shalt see that, what for the general sight that thou hast of thy wretchedness, and this special sight of the shortness of time of amendment, it shall bring in to thine heart a very working of dread.

And this working shalt thou feel[186] verily folden in thine heart, but if it so be (the which G.o.d forbid) that thou flatter and f.a.ge[187] thy false fleshly blind heart with leasings[188] and feigned behightings, that thou shalt longer live.[189] For though it may be sooth in thee in deed that thou shalt live longer, yet it is ever in thee a false leasing for to think it before, and for to behight[190] it to thine heart. For why, the soothfastness of this thing is only in G.o.d, and in thee is but a blind abiding of His will, without certainty of one moment, the which is as little or less than a twinkling of an eye. And, therefore, if thou wilt pray wisely as the prophet biddeth when he saith in the psalm: Psallite sapienter;191 look that thou get thee in the beginning this very working of dread. For, as the same prophet saith in another psalm: Initium sapientiae timor Domini;192 that is: "The beginning of wisdom is the dread of our Lord G.o.d." But for that there is no full sikerness standing[193] upon dread only, for fear of sinking in to over much heaviness, therefore shalt thou knit to thy first thought this other thought that followeth. Thou shalt think steadfastly that if thou may, through the grace of G.o.d, distinctly p.r.o.nounce the words of that prayer, and win to the end thereof, or if thou die before thou come to the end, so that thou do that in thee is, that then it shall be accepted of thee unto G.o.d, as a full aseeth[194] of all thy recklessness from the beginning of thy life unto that moment. I mean thus: standing that thou hast before time, after thy conning and thy conscience, lawfully amended thee after the common ordinance of holy Church in confession; this short prayer, so little as it is, shall be accepted of thee unto G.o.d for thy full salvation, if thou then didst die, and to the great increase of thy perfection, if thou didst live longer. This is the goodness of G.o.d, the which, as the prophet saith, forsaketh none that truly trusteth in Him with will of amendment;[195] and sith that all amendment standeth in two--that is, in leaving of evil and doing of good--means to get these two are none readier than the ghostly working of these two thoughts touched before. For what reaveth from a soul[196] more readily the affection of sinning, than doth a true working of dread of death? And what moveth a soul[197] more fervently to working of good, than doth a certain hope in the mercy and the goodness of G.o.d, the which is brought in by this second thought? For why, the ghostly feeling of this second thought, when it is thus truly joined to the first, shall be to thee a sure staff of hope to hold thee by in all thy good doings. And by this staff thou mayst sikerly climb in to the high mount of perfection, that is to say, to the perfect love of G.o.d; though all this beginning be imperfect, as thou shalt hear after. For, what for the general sight that thou hast of the mercy and of the goodness of G.o.d, and this special experience that thou feelest of His mercy and His goodness in this acceptation of this little short service for so long recklessness, as it were in a full aseeth of so much recklessness (as it is said before), it may not be but that thou shalt feel a great stirring of love unto Him that is so good and so merciful unto thee--as the steps of thy staff, hope, plainly sheweth unto thee in the time of thy prayer, if thou do it duly as I have told thee before.[198] The ghostly experience of the proof of this working standeth all in a reverent affection that a man hath to G.o.d in the time of his prayer, caused of this dread in the ground of this work, and of this stirring of love, the which is brought in by the ghostly steps of this staff hope, touched before.

For why, reverence is nought else but dread and love medled together with a staff of certain hope,

Me thinketh that the proof of this working is devotion; for devotion is nought else, as saint Thomas the doctor saith, but a readiness of man's will to do those things that longeth to the service of G.o.d.[199] Each man prove in himself, for he that doth G.o.d's service in this manner, he feeleth how ready that his will is thereto. Me thinketh that saint Bernard accordeth to this working, where he saith that all things should be done swiftly and gladly. And see why: swiftly for dread, and gladly for hope, and lovely trust in His mercy. [And what more? Sikerly, I had lever have his meed that lasteth in such doing, though all he never did bodily penance in this life, but only that that is enjoined to him of holy Church, than of all the penance-doers that have been in this life from the beginning of the world unto this day without this manner of doing. I say not that the naked thinking of these two thoughts is so meedful; but that reverent affection, to the which bringing in these two thoughts are sovereign means on man's party, that is it that is so meedful as I say.[200]] And this is only it by itself, without any other manner of doing (as is fasting, waking, sharp wearing, and all these other), the which only by itself pleaseth almighty G.o.d, and deserveth to have meed of Him. And it were impossible any soul to have meed of G.o.d without this, and all after the quant.i.ty of this shall stand the quant.i.ty of meed; for whoso hath much of this, much meed shall he have, and whoso hath less of this, less meed shall he have. And all these other things, as is fasting, waking, sharp wearing, and all these other, they are needful[201] in as much as they are helply to get this, so that without this they are nought.

And this without them is sometime sufficient at the full by itself, and it is often times full worthily had and come to of full many without any of the others. All this I say for that I would by this knowing that thou charged and commended each thing after that it is: the more, "the more," and the less, "the less"; for oft times unknowing is cause of much error. And oft times unknowing maketh men to charge more and commend more bodily exercise (as is fasting, waking, sharp wearing, and all these others) than they do ghostly exercise in virtues or in this reverent affection touched before.

And, therefore, in more declaration of the meed and the worthiness of this reverent affection, I shall say a little more than I yet have said, so that, by such declaring, thou mayst be better learned in this working than thou yet art.

All this manner of working beforesaid of this reverent affection, when it is brought in by these two thoughts of dread and of hope coming before, may well be likened to a tree that were full of fruit; of the which tree, dread is that party that is within in the earth, that is, the root. And hope is that party that is above the earth, that is, the body[202] with the boughs. In that that hope is certain and stable, it is the body; in that it stirreth men to works of love, it is the boughs; but this reverent affection is evermore the fruit, and then, evermore as long as the fruit is fastened to the tree,[203] it hath in party a green smell of the tree; but when it hath been a certain time departed from the tree and is full ripe, then it hath lost all the taste of the tree, and is king's meat [that was before but knave's meat].[204] In this time it is that this reverent affection is so meedful as I said. And, therefore, shape thee for to depart this fruit from the tree, and for to offer it up by itself to the high King of heaven; and then shalt thou be cleped G.o.d's own child, loving Him with a chaste love for Himself, and not for His goods.[205] I mean thus: though all that the innumerable good deeds, the which almighty G.o.d of His gracious goodness hath shewed to each soul in this life, be sufficient causes at the full and more, to each soul to love Him for, with all his mind, with all his wit, and with all his will; yet if it might be, that may no wise be, that a soul were as mighty, as worthy, and as witty as all the saints and angels that are in heaven gathered in one, and had never taken this worthiness of G.o.d,[206] or to whom that G.o.d had never shewed kindness in this life; yet this soul, seeing the loveliness of G.o.d in Himself, and the abundance thereof, should be ravished over his might for to love G.o.d, till the heart brast; so lovely and so liking, so good and so glorious He is in Himself.

O how wonderful a thing and how high a thing is the love of G.o.d for to speak of, of the which no man may speak perfectly to the understanding of the least party thereof, but by impossible ensamples, and pa.s.sing the understanding of man! And thus it is that I mean when I say loving Him with a chaste love for Himself, and not for His goods;[207] not as if I said (though all I well said) much for His goods, but without comparison more for Himself. For, if I shall more highly speak in declaring of my meaning of the perfection and of the meed of this reverent affection, I say that a soul touched in affection by the sensible presence of G.o.ds as He is in Himself, and in a perfect soul illumined in the reason, by the clear beam of everlasting light, the which is G.o.d, for to see and for to feel the loveliness[208] of G.o.d in Himself, hath for that time and for that moment lost all the mind of any good deed or of any kindness that ever G.o.d did to him in this life--so that cause for to love G.o.d for feeleth he or seeth he none in that time, other than is G.o.d Himself. So that though all it may be said in speaking of the common perfection, that the great goodness and the great kindness that G.o.d hath shewed to us in this life are high and worthy causes for to love G.o.d for; yet having beholding to the point and the p.r.i.c.k of perfection (to the which I purpose to draw thee in my meaning, and in the manner of this writing), a perfect lover of G.o.d, for dread of letting[209] of his perfection, seeketh now, that is to say, in the point of perfection, none other cause for to love G.o.d for, but G.o.d Himself; so that by this meaning I say, that chaste love is to love G.o.d for Himself and not for His goods. And therefore, following the rule of mine ensample, shape thee to depart the fruit from the tree, and for to offer it up by itself unto the King of heaven, that thy love be chaste; for evermore as long as thou offrest Him this fruit green and hanging on the tree, thou mayst well be likened to a woman that is not chaste, for she loveth a man more for his goods than for himself. And see why that I liken thee thus; for it seemeth that dread of thy death and shortness of time, with hope of forgiveness of all thy recklessness, maketh thee to be in G.o.d's service so reverent as thou art. And if it so be, soothly then hath thy fruit a green smell of the tree; and though all it pleaseth G.o.d in party, nevertheless, yet it pleaseth Him not perfectly, and that is for thy love is not yet chaste.

Chaste love is that when thou askest of G.o.d neither releasing of pain, nor increasing of meed, nor yet sweetness in His love in this life; but if it be any certain time that thou covetest sweetness as for a refres.h.i.+ng of thy ghostly mights, that they fail not in the way; but thou askest of G.o.d nought but Himself, and neither thou reckest nor lookest after whether thou shalt be in pain or in bliss, so that thou have Him that thou lovest--this is chaste love, this is perfect love.[210] And therefore shape thee for to depart the fruit from the tree; that is to say, this reverent affection from the thoughts of dread and of hope coming before; so that thou mayst offer it ripe and chaste unto G.o.d by itself, not caused of any thing beneath Him, or medled with Him[211] (yea, though all it be the chief),[212] but only of Him, by Himself; and then it is so meedful as I say that it is. For it is plainly known without any doubt unto all those that are expert in the science of divinity and of G.o.d's love, that as often as a man's affection is stirred unto G.o.d without mean (that is, without messenger of any thought in special causing that stirring), as oft it deserveth everlasting life. And for that that a soul that is thus disposed (that is to say, that offreth the fruit ripe, and departed from the tree) may innumerable times in one hour be raised in to G.o.d suddenly without mean, therefore more than I can say it deserveth, through the grace of G.o.d, the which is the chief worker, to be raised in to joy. And therefore shape thee for to offer the fruit ripe and departed from the tree. Nevertheless, the fruit upon the tree, continually offered as man's frailty will suffer, deserveth salvation; but the fruit ripe and departed from the tree, suddenly offered unto G.o.d without mean, that is perfection. And here mayst thou see that the tree is good, though all that I bid thee depart the fruit therefrom, for more perfection; and therefore I set it in thy garden; for I would that thou should gather the fruit thereof, and keep it to thy Lord. And for that that I would that thou knew what manner of working it is that knitteth man's soul to G.o.d, and that maketh it one with Him in love and accordance of will,[213] after the word of saint Paul saying thus: Qui adhaeret Duo unus spiritus est c.u.m illo;214 that is to say: "Who so draweth near to G.o.d," as it is by such a reverent affection touched before, "he is one spirit with G.o.d." That is, though all that G.o.d and he be two and sere[215] in kind, nevertheless yet in grace they are so knit together that they are but one in spirit;[216] and all this is for onehead of love and accordance of will; and in this onehead is the marriage made between G.o.d and the soul, the which shall never be broken, though all that the heat and the fervour of this work cease for a time, but by a deadly sin.

In the ghostly feeling of this onehead may a loving soul both say and sing (if it list) this holy word that is written in the book of songs in the Bible: Dilectus meus mihi et ego illi;217 that is: "My loved unto me and I unto Him"; understanden that G.o.d shall be knitted with the ghostly glue of grace on His party, and the lovely consent in gladness of spirit on thy party.

And therefore climb up by this tree, as I said in the beginning; and when thou comest to the fruit (that is, to the reverent affection, the which ever will be in thee if thou think heartily the other two thoughts before, and f.a.ge[218] not thyself with no lie, as I said), then shalt thou take good keep[219] of that working that is made in thy soul that time, and shape thee, in as much as thou mayst through grace, for to meek thee under the height of thy G.o.d, so that thou mayst use thee in that working other times by itself, without any climbing thereto by any thought. And, sikerly, this is it the which is so meedful as I said, and ever the longer that it is kept from the tree (that is to say, from any thought), and ever the ofter that it is done suddenly, l.u.s.tily, and likingly, without mean, the sweeter it smelleth, and the better it pleaseth the high King of heaven. And ever when thou feelest sweetness and comfort in thy doing, then He breaketh this fruit and giveth thee part of thine own present. And that that thou feelest is so hard, and so straitly stressing thine heart without comfort in the first beginning, that bemeaneth[220] that the greenness of the fruit hanging on the tree, or else newly pulled, setteth thy teeth on edge. Nevertheless yet it is speedful to thee. For it is no reason that thou eat the sweet kernel, but if thou crack first the hard sh.e.l.l and bite of the bitter bark.

Nevertheless, if it so be that thy teeth be weak (that is to say, thy ghostly mights), then it is my counsel that thou seek slights, for better is list than lither strength.[221]

Another skill there is why that I set this tree in thy garden, for to climb up thereby. For though all it be so that G.o.d may do what He will, yet, to mine understanding, it is impossible any man to attain to the perfection of this working without these two means, or else other two that are according to them coming before. And yet is the perfection of this work sudden, without any mean. And, therefore, I rede[222] thee that these be thine, not thine in propriety, for that is nought but sin,[223] but thine given graciously of G.o.d, and sent by me as a messenger though I be unworthy; for wete thou right well that every thought that stirreth thee to the good,[224] whether it come from within by thine angel messenger, or from without by any man messenger, it is but an instrument of grace given, sent and chosen of G.o.d Himself for to work within in thy soul. And this is the skill why that I counsel thee to take these two thoughts before all others. For as man is a mingled thing of two substances, a bodily and a ghostly, so it needeth for to have two sere[225] means to come by to perfection;[226] sith it so is that both these substances shall be oned in undeadliness at the uprising in the last day; so that either substance be raised to perfection in this life, by a mean accordant thereto. And that is dread to bodily substance, and hope to the ghostly. And thus it is full seemly and according to be, as me thinketh; for as there is nothing that so soon will ravish the body from all affection of earthly things, as will a sensible dread of the death; so there is nothing that so soon nor so fervently will raise the affection of a sinner's soul, unto the love of G.o.d, as will a certain hope of forgiveness of all his recklessness. And therefore have I ordained thy climbing by these two thoughts; but if it so be that thy good angel teach thee within thy ghostly conceit, or any other man, any other two that are more according to thy disposition than thee thinketh these two be, thou mayst take them, and leave these safely without any blame.

Nevertheless to my conceit (till I wete more) me thinketh that these should be full helply unto thee, and not much unaccording to thy disposition, after that I feel in thee. And therefore, if thou think that they do thee good, then thank G.o.d heartily, and for G.o.d's love pray for me. Do then so, for I am a wretch, and thou wotest not how it standeth with me.

No more at this time, but G.o.d's blessing have thou and mine.

Read often, and forget it not; set thee sharply to the proof; and flee all letting and occasion of letting, in the name of our Lord Jesu Christ. AMEN.

FINIS

VI.

HERE FOLLOWETH ALSO A VERY NECESSARY EPISTLE OF DISCRETION IN STIRRINGS OF THE SOUL

GHOSTLY friend in G.o.d, that same grace and joy that I will to myself, will I to thee at G.o.d's will. Thou askest me counsel of silence and of speaking, of common dieting and of singular fasting, of dwelling in company and only woning[227] by thyself. And thou sayest thou art in great were[228] what thou shalt do; for, as thou sayest, on the one party thou art greatly tarried with speaking, with common eating, as other folk do, and with common woning in company. And, on the other party, thou dreadest to be straitly still,[229] singular in fasting, and only in woning, for deeming of more holiness in thee than thou hast,[230] and for many other perils; for oft times now these days they are deemed for most holy, and fall in to many perils, that most are in silence, in singular fasting, and in only woning. And sooth it is that they are most holy, if grace only be the cause of that silence, of that singular fasting, and of that only woning, the kind[231] but suffering and only consenting; and if it be otherwise, then that is but peril on all sides, for it is full perilous to strain the kind to any such work of devotion, as is silence or speaking, common dieting or singular fasting, woning in company or in onliness.[232] I mean, pa.s.sing the course and the common custom of kind and degree, but if it be led thereto by grace; and, namely, to such works the which in themself are indifferent, that is to say, now good, and now evil, now with thee, now against thee, now helping, and now letting. For it might befall that, if thou followed thy singular stirring, straitly straining thee to silence, to singular fasting, or to only woning, that thou shouldest oft times be still when time were to speak, oft times fast when time were to eat, oft times be only when time were to be in company. Or if thou give thee to speaking always when thee list, to common eating, or to companious woning,[233] then peradventure thou shouldest sometime speak when time[234] were to be still, sometime eat when time were to fast, sometime be in company when time were to be only; and thus mightest thou lightly fall in to error, in great confusion, not only of thine own soul but also of others. And, therefore, in eschewing of such errors, thou askest of me (as I have perceived by thy letters) two things: the first is my conceit of thee, and thy stirring; and the other is my counsel in this case, and in all such others when they come.

As to the first, I answer and I say that I dread full much in this matter and such others to put forth my rude conceit, such as it is, for two skills.[235] And one is this: I dare not lean to my conceit, affirming it for fast and true. The other is thine inward disposition, and thine ableness that thou hast unto all these things that thou speakest of in thy letter, which be not yet so fully known unto me, as it were speedful that they were, if I should give full counsel in this case. For it is said of the Apostle: Nemo novit quae sunt hominis, nisi spiritus hominis qui in ipso est; "No man knoweth which are the privy dispositions of man, but the spirit of the same man, the which is in himself";[236] and, peradventure, thou knowest not yet thine own inward disposition thyself, so fully as thou shalt do hereafter, when G.o.d will let thee feel it by the proof, among many failings and risings. For I knew never yet no sinner that might come to the perfect knowing of himself and of his inward disposition, but if he were learned of it before in the school of G.o.d, by experience of many temptations, and by many failings and risings; for right as among the waves and the floods and the storms of the sea, on the one party, and the peaceable wind and the calms and the soft weathers of the air on the other party, the sely[237]

s.h.i.+p at the last attains to the land and the haven; right so, among the diversity of temptations and tribulations that falleth to a soul in this ebbing and flowing life (the which are ensampled by the storms and the floods of the sea) on the one party, and among the grace and the goodness of the Holy Ghost, the manyfold visitation, sweetness and comfort of spirit (the which are ensampled by the peaceable wind and the soft weathers of the air) on the other party, the sely soul, at the likeness of a s.h.i.+p, attaineth at the last to the land of stableness, and to the haven of health; the which is the clear and the soothfast knowing of himself, and of all his inward dispositions, through the which knowing he sitteth quietly in himself, as a king crowned in his royalme, mightily, wisely, and goodly governing himself and all his thoughts and stirrings, both in body and in soul. Of such a man it is that the wise man saith thus: Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem, quoniam c.u.m probatus fuerit, accipiet coronam vitae, quam repromisit Deus diligentibus se: "He is a blissful man that sufferingly beareth temptation; for, from he have been proved, he shall take the crown of life, the which G.o.d hath hight to all those that love Him."[238] The crown of life may be said on two manners. One for ghostly wisdom, for full discretion, and for perfection of virtue: these three knitted together may be cleped[239] a crown of life, the which by grace may be come to here in this life. On another manner the crown of life may be said, that it is the endless joy that each true soul shall have, after this life, in the bliss of heaven, and, sikerly, neither of these two crowns may a man take, but if he before have been well proved in suffering of noye[240] and of temptation, as this text saith: Quoniam c.u.m probatus fuerit, accipiet coronam vitae; that is: "From that he have been proved, then shall he take the crown of life";[241] as who saith (according to mine understanding touched before): But if a sinner have been proved before in divers temptations, now rising, now falling, falling by frailty, rising by grace, he shall never else take of G.o.d in this life ghostly wisdom in clear knowing of himself and of his inward dispositions, nor full discretion in counselling and teaching of others, nor yet the third, the which is the perfection of virtue in loving of his G.o.d and of his brethren. All these three--wisdom, discretion, and perfection of virtue-are but one, and they may be cleped the crown of life.

In a crown are three things: gold is the first; precious stones are the second; and the turrets of the flower-de-luce, raised up above the head, those are the third. By gold, wisdom; by the precious stones, discretion; and by the turrets of the flower-de-luce I understand the perfection of virtue. Gold environeth the head, and by wisdom we govern our ghostly work on every side; precious stones giveth light in beholding of men, and by discretion we teach and counsel our brethren; the turrets of the flower-de-luce giveth two side branches spreading one to the right side and another to the left, and one even up above the head, and by perfection of virtues (the which is charity) we give two side branches of love, the which are spreading, one to the right side to our friends, and one to the left side to our enemies, and one even up unto G.o.d, above man's understanding, the which is the head of the soul. This is the crown of life the which by grace may be gotten here in this life; and, therefore, bear thee low in thy battle, and suffer meekly thy temptations till thou have been proved. For then shalt thou take either the one crown, or the other, or both, this here, and the other there; for who so hath this here, he may be full siker of the other there; and full many there are that are full graciously proved here, and yet come never to this that may be had here in this life.

The which (if they meekly continue and patiently abide the will of our Lord) shall full worthily and abundantly receive the other there, in the high bliss of heaven. Thee thinketh this crown fair that may be had here; yea, bear thee as meekly as thou mayst by grace, for in comparison of the other there, it is but as one n.o.ble to a world full of gold. All this I say to give thee comfort and evidence of strength in thy ghostly battle, the which thou hast taken on hand in the trust of our Lord, and all this I say to let thee see how far thou art yet from the true knowing of thine inward disposition, and thereafter to give thee warning, not over soon to give stead[242] nor to follow the singular stirrings of thy young heart, for dread of deceit.

All this I say for to show unto thee my conceit that I have of thee and of thy stirrings, as thou hast asked of me; for I conceive of thee that thou art full able and full greatly disposed to such sudden stirrings of singular doings,[243] and full fast to cleave unto them when they be received; and that is full perilous. I say not that this ableness and this greedy disposition in thee, or in any other that is disposed as thou art, though all it be perilous, that it is therefore evil in itself; nay, so say I not, G.o.d forbid that thou take it so; but I say that it is full good in itself, and a full great ableness to full great perfection, yea, and to the greatest perfection that may be in this life; I mean, if that a soul that is so disposed will busily, night and day, meek it[244] to G.o.d and to good counsel, and strongly rise and martyr itself, with casting down of the own wit and the own will in all such sudden and singular stirrings, and say sharply that it will not follow such stirrings, seem they never so liking,[245] so high nor so holy, but if it have thereto the witness[246] and the consents of some ghostly teachers--I mean such as have been of long time expert in singular living. Such a soul, for ghostly continuance thus in this meekness, may deserve, through grace and the experience of this ghostly battle thus with itself, for to take the crown of life touched before. And as great an ableness to good as is this manner of disposition in a soul that is thus meeked as I say, as perilous it is in another soul, such one that will suddenly, without advis.e.m.e.nt of counsel, follow the stirrings of the greedy heart, by the own wit and the own will; and therefore, for G.o.d's love, beware with this ableness and with this manner of disposition (that I speak of), if it be in thee as I say. And meek thee continually to prayer and to counsel. Break down thine own wit and thy will in all such sudden and singular stirrings, and follow them not over lightly, till thou wete whence they come, and whether they be according for thee or not.

And as touching these stirrings of the which thou askest my conceit and my counsel, I say to thee that I conceive of them suspiciously, that is, that[247] they should be conceived on the ape's manner. Men say commonly that the ape doth as he seeth others do; forgive me if I err in my suspicion, I pray thee. Nevertheless, the love that I have to thy soul stirreth me by evidence that I have of a ghostly brother of thine and of mine, touched with those same stirrings of full great[248] silence, of full singular fasting, and of full only woning, on ape's manner, as he granted unto me after long communing with me, and when he had proved himself and his stirrings. For, as he said, he had seen a man in your country, the which man, as it is well known, is evermore in great silence, in singular fasting, and in only dwelling; and certes, as I suppose fully, they are full true stirrings those that that man hath, caused all only of grace, that he feeleth by experience within, and not of any sight or heard say that he hath of any other man's silence without-the which cause if it were, it should be cleped apely, as I say in my simple meaning.

And therefore beware, and prove well thy stirrings, and whence they come; for how so thou art stirred, whether from within by grace, or from without on ape's manner, G.o.d wote, and I not. Nevertheless this may I say thee in eschewing of perils like unto this: look that thou be no ape, that is to say, look that thy stirrings to silence or to speaking, to fasting or to eating, to onliness or to company, whether they be come from within of abundance of love and of devotion in the spirit and not from without by the windows of thy bodily wits, as thine ears, and thine eyes. For, as Jeremiah saith plainly, by such windows cometh in death: Mors intrat per fenestras.249 And this sufficeth, as little as it is, for answer to the first, where thou askest of me, what is my conceit of thee, and of these stirrings that thou speakest of to me in thy letter.

And touching the second thing, where thou askest of me my counsel in this case, and in such other when they fall, I beseech almighty Jesu (as He is cleped the angel of great counsel) that He of His mercy be thy counsellor and thy comforter in all thy noye and thy nede, and order me with His wisdom to fulfil in party by my teaching, so simple as it is, the trust of thine heart, the which thou hast unto me before many others--a simple lewd[250] wretch as I am, unworthy to teach thee or any other, for littleness of grace and for lacking of conning. Nevertheless, though I be lewd, yet shall I somewhat say, answering to thy desire at my simple conning, with a trust in G.o.d that His grace shall be learner and leader when conning of kind and of clergy defaileth.[251] Thou wotest right well thyself that silence in itself nor speaking, also singular fasting nor common dieting, onliness nor company, all these nor yet any of them be not the true end of our desire; but to some men (and not to all) they are means helping to the end, if they be done lawfully and with discretion, and else are they more letting than furthering. And therefore plainly[252] to speak, nor plainly to be still, plainly to eat, nor plainly to fast, plainly to be in company, or plainly to be only, think I not to counsel thee at this time; for why, perfection standeth not in them. But this counsel may I give thee generally, to hold thee by in these stirrings, and in all other like unto these; evermore where thou findest two contraries, as are these--silence and speaking, fasting and eating, onliness and company, common clothing of Christian religion and singular habits of divers and devised brotherhoods, with all such other what so they be, the which in themself are but works of kind[253] and of men. For thou hast it by kind and by statute of thine outer man now for to speak and now for to be still, now for to eat and now for to fast, now for to be in company and now to be only, now to be common in clothing and now to be in singular habit, ever when thee list, and when thou seest[254] that any of them should be speedful and helply to thee in nouris.h.i.+ng of the heavenly grace working within in thy soul; but if it be so (which G.o.d forbid), that thou or any other be so lewd and so blinded in the sorrowful temptations of the midday devil, that ye bind you by any crooked avow to any such singularities, as it were under colour of holiness feigned under such an holy thraldom,[255]

in full and final destroying of the freedom of Christ, the which is the ghostly habit of the sovereign holiness that may be in this life, or in the other, by the witness of saint Paul saying thus: Ubi spiritus Domini, ibi libertas: "There where the spirit of G.o.d is, there is freedom."[256] And thereto when thou seest that all such works in their use may be both good and evil; I pray thee leave them both, for that is the most ease for thee for to do, if thou wilt be meek, and leave the curious beholding and seeking in thy wits to look whether is better. But do thou thus: set the one on the one hand, and the other on the other, and choose thee a thing the which is hid between them; the which thing, when it is had, giveth thee leave in freedom of spirit to begin and to cease in holding any of the others at thine own full list, without any blame.

But now thou askest me, what is that thing. I shall tell thee what I mean that it is: It is G.o.d; for whom thou shouldest be still, if thou shouldest be still; and for whom thou shouldest speak if thou shouldest speak; and for whom thou shouldest fast, if thou shouldest fast; and for whom thou shouldest eat, if thou shouldest eat; and for whom thou shouldest be only, if thou shouldest be only; and for whom thou shouldest be in company, if thou shouldest be in company.

And so forth of all the remenant, what so they be. For silence is not G.o.d, nor speaking is not G.o.d; fasting is not G.o.d, nor eating is not G.o.d; onliness is not G.o.d, nor company is not G.o.d; nor yet any of all the other such two contraries. He is hid between them, and may not be found by any work of thy soul, but all only by love of thine heart. He may not be known by reason, He may not be gotten by thought, nor concluded by understanding; but He may be loved and chosen with the true lovely will of thine heart.[257] Choose thee Him, and thou art silently speaking, and speakingly silent, fastingly eating, and eatingly fasting, and so forth of all the remenant. Such a lovely choosing of G.o.d, thus wisely lesinge[258]

and seeking Him out with the true will of a clean heart, between all such two leaving them both, when they come and proffer them to be the point and the p.r.i.c.k of our ghostly beholding, is the worthiest tracing and seeking of G.o.d that may be gotten or learned in this life. I mean for a soul that will be contemplative; yea, though all that a soul that thus seeketh see nothing that may be conceived with the ghostly eye of reason; for if G.o.d be thy love and thy meaning, the choice and the point of thine heart, it sufficeth to thee in this life (though all thou see never more of Him with the eyes of thy reason all thy life time). Such a blind shot with the sharp dart of longing love may never fail of the p.r.i.c.k, the which is G.o.d, as Himself saith in the book of love, where He speaketh to a languis.h.i.+ng soul and a loving, saying thus: Vulnerasti cor meum, soror mea, amica mea, et sponsa mea, vulnerasti cor meum, in uno oculorum tuorum: "Thou hast wounded mine heart, my sister, my leman, and my spouse, thou hast wounded mine heart in one of thine eyes."[259] Eyes of the soul they are two: Reason and Love. By reason we may trace how mighty, how wise, and how good He is in His creatures, but not in Himself; but ever when reason defaileth, then list, love, live and learn, to play,[260] for by love we may feel Him, find Him, and hit Him, even in Himself. It is a wonderful eye, this love, for of a loving soul it is only said of our Lord: "Thou hast wounded mine heart in one of thine eyes"; that is to say, in love that is blind to many things, and seeth but that one thing that it seeketh, and therefore it findeth and feeleth, hitteth and woundeth the point and the p.r.i.c.k that it shooteth at, well sooner than it should if the sight were sundry in beholding of many things, as it is when the reason ransacketh and seeketh among all such sere[261] things as are these: silence and speaking, singular fasting and common eating, onliness or company, and all such other; to look whether is better.

Let be this manner of doing, I pray thee, and let as thou wist not that there were any such means (I mean ordained for to get G.o.d by); for truly no more there is, if thou wilt be very contemplative and soon sped of thy purpose. And, therefore, I pray thee and other like unto thee, with the Apostle saying thus: Videte vocationem vestram, et in ea vocatione qua vocati estis state:262 "See your calling, and, in that calling that ye be called, stand stiffly and abide in the name of Jesu." Thy calling is to be very contemplative, ensampled by Mary Magdalene. Do then as Mary did, set the point of thine heart upon one thing: Porro unum est necessarium: "For one thing is necessary,"[263] the which is G.o.d. Him wouldest thou have, Him seekest thou, Him list thee to love, Him list thee to feel,[264]

Him list thee hold thee by, and neither by silence nor by speaking, by singular fasting nor by common eating, by onliness nor by companious woning, by hard wearing nor by easy; for sometime silence is good, but that same time speaking were better; and againward sometime speaking is good, but that same time silence were better; and so forth of all the remenant, as is fasting, eating, onliness, and company; for sometime the one is good, but the other is better, but neither of them is at any time the best. And, therefore, let be good all that is good, and better all that is better,[265] for both they will defail and have an end; and choose thee the best with Mary, thy mirror, that never will defail: Maria (inquit optimam) optimam partem elegit, quae non auferetur ab ea.266 The best is almighty Jesu, and He said that Mary, in ensample of all contemplatives, had chosen the best, the which should never be taken from her; and therefore, I pray thee, with Mary leave the good and the better, and choose thee the best.

Let them be, all such things as are these: silence and speaking, fasting and eating, onliness and company, and all such other, and take no keep to them; thou wotest not what they mean, and, I pray thee, covet not to wit; and if thou shall at any time think or speak of them, think then and say that they are so high and so worthy things of perfection, for to conne[267] speak, or for to conne be still, for to conne fast, and for to conne eat, for to conne be only, and to conne be in company, that it were but a folly and a foul presumption to such a frail wretch as thou art, for to meddle thee of so great perfection. For why, for to speak, and for to be still, for to eat, and for to fast, for to be only, and for to be in company, ever when we will, may we have by kind; but for to conne do all these, we may not but by grace. And, without doubt, such grace is never gotten by any mean of such strait silence, of such singular fasting, or of such only dwelling that thou speakest of, the which is caused from without by occasion of hearing and of seeing of any other man's such singular doings. But if ever this grace shall be gotten, it behoveth to be learned of G.o.d from within, unto whom thou hast listily leaned many a day before with all the love of thine heart, utterly voiding from thy ghostly beholding[268] all manner of sight of any thing beneath Him; though all that some of those things that I bid thee thus void, should seem in the sight of some men a full worthy mean to get G.o.d by. Yea, say what men say will, but do thou as I say thee, and let the proof witness. For to him that will be soon sped of his purpose ghostly, it sufficeth to him for a mean, and him needeth no more, but the actual mind of good G.o.d only, with a reverent stirring of lasting love; so that mean unto G.o.d gettest thou none but G.o.d. If thou keep whole thy stirring of love that thou mayst feel by grace in thine heart, and scatter not thy ghostly beholding therefrom then that same that thou feelest shall well conne[269] tell thee when thou shalt speak and when thou shalt be still, and it shall govern thee discreetly in all thy living without any error, and teach thee mistily[270] how thou shalt begin and cease in all such doing of kind with a great and sovereign discretion. For if thou mayst by grace keep it in custom and in continual working, then, if it be needful or speedful to thee for to speak, for to commonly eat, or for to bide in company, or for to do any such other thing that longeth to the common true custom of Christian men, and of kind, it shall first stir thee full softly to speak or to do that other common thing of kind, what so it be. And then, if thou do it not, it shall strike as sore as a p.r.i.c.k on thine heart and pain thee full sore, and let thee have no peace[271] but if thou do it. And, on the same manner, if thou be in speaking, or in any such other work that is common to the course of kind, if it be needful and speedful to thee to be still, and for to set thee to the contrary, as is onliness to company, fasting to eating, and all such other the which are works of singular holiness, it will stir thee to them; so that thus, by experience of such a blind stirring of love unto G.o.d, a contemplative soul cometh sooner to that grace of discretion for to conne speak, and for to conne be still, for to conne eat, and for to conne fast, for to conne be in company, and for to conne be only,[272] and all such other, than by any such singularities as thou speakest of, taken by the stirrings of man's own wit and his will within in himself, or yet by the ensample of any other man's doing without, what so it be. For why, such strained doings under the stirrings of kind, without touching[273] of grace, is a pa.s.sing pain without any profit; but if it be to them that are religious, or that have them by enjoining of penance, where profit riseth only because of obedience, and not by any such straitness of doing without; the which is painful to all that it proveth. But lovely and listily to will to love[274] G.o.d is great and pa.s.sing ease, true ghostly peace, and earnest of the endless rest. And, therefore, speak when thee list, and leave when thee list, eat when thee list, and fast when thee list, be in company when thee list, and be by thyself when thee list, so that[275] G.o.d and grace be thy leader. Let fast who fast will, and be only who will, and let hold silence who so will, but hold thee by G.o.d that doth beguile no man; for silence and speaking, onliness and company, fasting and eating, all may beguile thee. And if thou hear of any man that speaketh, or of any that is still, of any that eateth or of any that fasteth, or of any that is in company or else by himself, think thou, and say, if thee list, that they conne do as they should do, but if the contrary shew in apert.[276] But look that thou do not as they do (I mean for that they do so) on ape's manner; for neither thou canst, nor peradventure thou art not disposed as they are. And, therefore, leave to work after other men's dispositions and work after thine own, if thou mayst know what it is. And unto the time that thou mayst know what it is, work after those men's counsel that know their own disposition, but not after their disposition;[277] for such men should give counsel in such cases, and else none. And this sufficeth for an answer to all thy letter, as me thinketh; the grace of G.o.d be ever more with thee, in the name of Jesu. AMEN.

FINIT EPISTOLA

VII.

HERE FOLLOWETH A DEVOUT TREATISE OF DISCERNING OF SPIRITS, VERY NECESSARY FOR GHOSTLY LIVERS

FOR because that there be divers kinds of spirits, therefore it is needful to us discreet knowing of them; sith it so is that we be taught of the apostle saint John not to believe to all spirits.[278]

For it might seem to some that are but little in conning, and namely of ghostly things, that each thought that soundeth in man's heart should be the speech of none other spirit but only of man's own spirit. And that it is not so, both belief and witness of holy scripture proveth apertly; for "I shall hear," saith the prophet David, "not what I speak myself, but what my Lord G.o.d speaketh in me";[279] and another prophet saith, that an angel spake in him.[280] And also we be taught in the psalm that the wicked spirits sendeth evil thoughts in to men; and over this, that there is a spirit of the flesh not good, the apostle Paul sheweth apertly, where he saith, that some men are full blown or inflate with the spirit of their flesh.[281] And also that there is the spirit of the world, he declareth plainly, where he maketh joy in G.o.d, not only for himself, but also for his disciples, that they had not taken that spirit of the world, but that that is sent of G.o.d, the which is the Holy Ghost.[282] And these two spirits of the flesh and also of the world are, as it were, servants or sergeants of that cursed spirit, the foul fiend of h.e.l.l; so that the spirit of wickedness is lord of the spirit of the flesh, and also of the spirit of the world. And which of these three spirits that speaketh to our spirit, we should not believe them. For why, they speak never but that anon, by their speaking, they lead to the loss both of body and of soul.

And which spirit it is that speaketh to our spirit, the speech of that same spirit that speaketh shall fully declare; for ever more the spirit of the flesh speaketh soft things and easy to the body; the spirit of the world vain things and covetise[283] of wors.h.i.+p; and the spirit of malice of the fiend speaketh fell things and bitter.

Wherefore, as oft times as any thought smiteth on our hearts of meat, of drink, and of sleep, of soft clothing, of lechery, and of all other such things the which longeth to the business of the flesh, and maketh our heart for to brenne[284] as it were in a longing desire after all such things; be we full siker that it is the spirit of the flesh that speaketh it. And therefore put we him away, in as much as we goodly may by grace, for he is our adversary.

As oft times as any thought smiteth on our hearts of vain joy of this world, kindling in us a desire to be holden fair, and to be favoured, to be holden of great kin and of great conning, to be holden wise and worthy, or else to have great degree and high office in this life--such thoughts and all other the which would make a man to seem high and wors.h.i.+pful, not only in the sight of others, but also in the sight of himself--no doubt but it is the spirit of the world that speaketh all these, a far more perilous enemy than is the spirit of the flesh, and with much more business he should be put off. And oft times it befalleth that these two servants and sergeants of the foul fiend, the spirit and prince of wrath[285] and of wickedness, are either by grace and by ghostly slight of a soul stiffly put down and trodden down under foot; or else, by quaintise[286] of their malicious master, the foul fiend of h.e.l.l, they are quaintly withdrawn, for he thinketh himself for to rise with great malice and wrath, as a lion running felly to a.s.sail the sickness of our sely souls; and this befalleth as oft as the thought of our heart stirreth us, not to the l.u.s.t of our flesh, nor yet to the vain joy of this world, but it stirreth us to murmuring, to grutching,[287] to grievance, and to bitterness of soul, to pain and to impatience, to wrath, to melancholy, and to evil will, to hate, to envy, and to all such sorrows. It maketh us to bear us heavily, if ought be done or said unto us, not so lovely, nor so wisely[288]

as we would it were; it raiseth in us all evil suspicion, if ought be shewed in sign, in countenance, in word, or in work, that might by any manner be turned to malice or to heaviness of heart; it maketh us as fast[289] to take it to us.

To these thoughts, and to all such that would put us out of peace and restfulness of heart, we should none otherwise againstand,[290]

but as we would the self fiend of h.e.l.l, and as much we should flee therefrom as from the loss of our soul. No doubt but both the other two thoughts, of the spirit of the flesh and also of the spirit of the world, work and travail in all that they can to the loss of our soul, but most perilously the spirit of malice; for why, he is by himself, but they not without him. For if a man's soul be never so clean of fleshly l.u.s.t, and of vain joy of this world, and if it be defouled with this spirit of malice, of wrath, and of wickedness, not againstanding all the other cleanness before, yet it is losable.

And if a soul be never so much defouled with the l.u.s.t of the flesh, and vain joy of the world, and it may by grace keep it in peace and in restfulness of heart unto the even Christian,[291] though all it be full hard for to do (lasting the custom of the other two),[292]

yet it is less losable, not againstanding all the other filth of the flesh and of the world touched before. And, therefore, though all that our l.u.s.ty[293] thoughts of our flesh be evil, for they reave from the soul the life of devotion, and though all that the vain joy of the world be worse, for it reaveth us from the true joy that we should have in contemplation of heavenly things, ministered and taught to us by the angels of heaven. For who so l.u.s.tily desireth to be wors.h.i.+pped, favoured, and served of men here in earth, they deserve to forego the wors.h.i.+p, the favour, and service of angel in ghostly contemplation of heaven and of heavenly things, all their lifetime; the which contemplation is better and more worthy in itself than is the l.u.s.t and the liking of devotion. And for this bitterness I clepe the spirit of malice, of wrath, and of wickedness the worst spirit of them all; and why? Certes, for it reaveth us the best thing of all, and that is charity, the which is G.o.d. For who so lacketh peace and restfulness of heart, him lacketh the lively presence of the lovely sight of the high peace of heaven, good gracious G.o.d His own dear self. This witnesseth David in the psalm, where he saith, that the place of G.o.d is made in peace, and His dwelling place in Sion.[294] Sion is as much to say as the sight of peace; the sight of the soul is the thought of that same soul; and, certes, in that soul that most is occupied in thoughts of peace hath G.o.d made His dwelling place.[295] And thus saith Himself by the prophet, when he saith: "Upon whom shall my spirit rest, but upon the meek and the restful."[296] And, therefore, who so will have G.o.d continually dwelling in him, and live in love and in sight of the high peace of the G.o.dhead, the which is the highest and the best party of contemplation that may be had in this life, be he busy night and day to put down, when they come, the spirit of the flesh and the spirit of the world, but most busily the spirit of malice, of wrath, and of wickedness, for he is the foulest and the worst filth[297] of all. And it is full needful and speedful to know his quaintise, and not for to unknow his doleful deceits. For sometime he will, that wicked cursed wight, change his likeness in to an angel of light, that he may under colour of virtue do more dere;[298] but yet then, if we look more redely,[299] it is but seed of bitterness and of discord that that he sheweth, seem it never so holy nor never so fair at the first shewing. Full many he stirreth unto singular holiness pa.s.sing the common statute and custom of their degree, as is fasting, sharp wearing, and many other devout observances and outward doings, in open reproving of other men's defaults, the which they have not of office for to do. All such and many other he stirreth them for to do, and all under colour of devotion and of charity; not for he is delighted in any deed of devotion and of charity, but for he loveth dissension and slander, the which is evermore caused by such unseemly singularities; for where so ever that any one or two are in any devout congregation, the which any one or two useth any such outward singularities, then in the sight of fools all the remenant are slandered by them; but, in the sight of the wise man, they slander themselves. But for because that fools are more than wise men, therefore for favour of fools such singular doers ween that they be wise, when (if it were wisely determined) they and all their fautors[300] should be seen apert fools, and darts shot of the devil, to slay true simple souls under colour of holiness and charity. And thus many deceits can the fiend bring in on this manner.

The Cell of Self-Knowledge Part 4

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