Treading the Narrow Way Part 7

The fellow who is always harping hypocrite and hurling cheap invectives against the church isn't the man to arouse confidence, the only one he helps is the devil.

Take away profanity from some men's conversation and you haven't enough left to know what they said.

When a man buys an Auto or a Ford on credit and lets the whiskers grow on his coal bill they say he's got the fever. I don't think it could be the brain kind.

If money and whiskey would lose their influence in the courts, juries and legislatures would go to sleep and jail doors rust on their hinges.

When the Lord turns his X rays upon the people, the churches will fill so rapidly that Easter bonnets and dress suits can be picked up anywhere.

I know a wealthy man by the name of Moore who never was satisfied.

Obituaries are not a safe guide to the real truth.

Recollections become dim on the witness stand.

It's better to faint in the arms of truth and die in poverty than to lie for the lap of luxury and die disgraced.

A drunken man's breath is preferable to the wagging tongue of a gossip.

Any man could live with a woman who has the patience to bathe in a wash tub twenty-one inches in diameter for seventeen years without complaining.

Marry in haste and repent in alimony.

It's a sad fact that many a man has missed his calling and there is elegant material for day laborers among the professions and vice versa.

If it wasn't for $$$ a great many people would be wearing the stripes.

Some men are so economical they go without socks to buy whiskey.

If some women were better cooks there would be less dyspepsia and fewer divorces.

If too many cooks spoil the broth, could too many church denominations spoil the man?

The longer you use the Christ-like religion the better you like it and the better it makes you.

The man who makes careless remarks about women does not possess the fine attributes of a gentleman.

If religion cost money, how some church members with bible names would grab for their purses when the lights go out.

Religion and sympathy cost nothing, but you'd think they were diamonds the way some people use them.

The first marriage is for love, the second for convenience, and the third a cold business proposition. Don't try for a four-bagger.

The cleanliness of the tea towel is a safe criterion to a good house-keeper.

The great jewel "Consistency" cannot be bought with money.

Some people are so hard hearted, onions would have no effect at a funeral.