Friar Tuck Part 16

"The' was a hurt look about Carmichael's eyes; but the hurt had come from the letter, not from them, so he sat quiet and smiled down at 'em in a sort of super-human calmness. They thought he was bluffed speechless, so they girded up their loins, an' tied into him a little harder, tellin' him that his conduct in walkin' home nights with a cafe-singer was little short of immoral, although they wouldn't make no pointed charge again' the woman herself. Then they wound up by sayin' 'at they feared he was too young to spend so much time amid the environs o' sin, and that they would put an older man in charge o' the annex, and this would leave him free to attend strictly to cu-ratin'.

"When they had spoke their piece, they were all beamin' with the upliftin' effect of it; and they settled back with beautiful smiles o'

satisfaction to listen to Carmichael's thanks and repentance. He sat there smilin' too-not smilin' the brand o' smiles 'at they were, but still smilin'. It would strain a dictionary to tell all there is in some smiles.

"Presently he rose up, swept his eyes over 'em for a time, and said in a low tone: 'Then I am to understand that I am to follow in the Master's footsteps only as far as personal chast.i.ty goes?' said he.

'That I may respectably pity the weak and sinful from a distance; but must not dismount from my exalted pedestal to take 'em by the hand an'

lift 'em up-Is that what you mean?' sez he.

"They still thought he was whipped, so one of 'em pulled a little sarcasm on him: 'Takin' the weak an' sinful by the hand an' liftin'

'em up is all right,' said he; 'but it's not necessary to go home with 'em after midnight.'

"Carmichael bit his lips; he tried to hold himself down, he honestly tried for some time; but he wasn't quite able. His hands trembled an'

his lip trembled while he was fightin' himself; but when he kicked off his hobbles an' sailed into 'em, his tremblin' stopped an' the words shot forth, clear an' hot an' bitish. Hugo sat back in a corner durin'

this meetin', without speakin' a single word; and he was glad of it.

It saved him from gettin' his feelin's kicked into flinders about him, an' interferin' with the view; and it gave him a chance to take his notes.

"'As a matter o' faith,' said Carmichael, 'we believe that Jesus never sinned; but we cannot know this as a matter of fact. Yet we can know, and we do know, as a matter of history, that He mingled an' had fellows.h.i.+p with the fallen, the sinful, the outcast, and the disreputable. With these He lived, and with these and for these He left the power and the life and the glory of His religion-and you say that I must live in a gla.s.s case, may only look in holy dignity down at the weak and sinful; but that I mustn't go home with 'em after midnight. With G.o.d, a thousand years is but as a day-and yet it would be wrong for me to be in a sinner's company after midnight!'

"Carmichael paused here to give 'em a comeback at him; but their mouths were dry, and they only hemmed an' hawed. 'Every Sunday, in the service of this refined an' respectable church, hunderds of you admit that you have no health because of your sins-and yet, because of my youth, you say I must remain with you where sin is robed in silk and broadcloth, and not risk my soul where sin is robed in rags.'

"He paused again, and this time his eyes began to shoot jerk-lightning, an' when he started to speak his deep voice shook the room like the low notes of a big organ. 'No,' he said, 'I am not content to walk with the Lord, only on the day of His triumph-The very ones who strewed the pathway of His majesty with palms, and filled the air with hosaners, deserted Him at the cross-but I must walk with Him every step of the way. I do not pray that my earthly garments be spotless, I do not pray that my sandals be unworn an' free from mud; but I do pray that when I stand on my own Calvery I may stand with those who bear crosses, not with those who have spent their lives in learnin' to wear crowns.'

"Carmichael had discarded that entire vestry by this time, and he didn't care a blue-bottle fly what they thought of him. He towered above them with his face s.h.i.+nin', and his voice rolled down over 'em like a Norther sweepin' through the hills. 'Many there were,' he went on, 'who cried to Him, Lord, Lord; but after the tomb was sealed, it was the Magdalene whose faith never faltered, it was to her He first appeared; and on the final resurrection morning, I hope the lesser Magdalenes of all the ages, and from all the nasty corners of the world into which man's greed has crowded 'em, will know that I am their brother, and, save for a lovin' hand at the right moment, one of them to the last sordid detail.'

"Carmichael stopped after this, and the room was so quiet you could hear the consciences o' that vestry floppin' up and down again' their pocketbooks. When he began again his voice was soft, an' the bitterness had given way to sadness. 'The old way was best, after all,' he said. 'When you pay a priest a salary, you hire him and he becomes your servant. The custom is, for masters to dictate to their servants; it is an old, old custom, and hard to break. I think I could suit you; but I do not think I shall try. The roots of my own life lead back to the gutter, and through these roots shall I draw strength to lift others from the gutter. I do not value my voice as a means to amuse those already weary of amus.e.m.e.nt: I look upon it as a tool to help clean up the world. You are already so clean that you fear I may defile you by contagion. You do not need me; and with all your careful business methods, you have not money enough to hire me.

"'What you need here, is a diplomat; while I yearn to be on the firm'

line. I care little for the etiquette of religion, I want to get down where the fightin' is fierce an' primitive-so I hereby resign.

"'This girl whom you have driven out of my life, needs no defence from me or any man. I have known her since she was a little child; poverty was her lot, and self-sacrifice has become her second nature. We are forbidden to judge; so I judge neither her nor you; but I will say that often I have stood silent before the beauty of her character, and often my face has burned at the tainted money you have put on the plate. Part of this money comes from the rental of dives. I have seen the dives themselves, I have seen their fearful product; and I cannot believe that profit wrung from a helpless slave can find its way to G.o.d-even on the contribution plate.

"'I love the music an' the service an' the vestments o' this church; and I hope I need not give them up; but my heart is in rebellion, and from this time on I take the full responsibility of my acts. I shall not choose my path; but will go as the spirit moves me; and if ever I find one single spot which seems too dark for the Light of the world to enter, then shall the soul in me shrivel and die, and I shall become a beast, howling in the jungle.'"

Horace said that after the Friar had left the room, those vestry fellers sat in a sort of daze for some time, and then got up an'

sneaked out one at a time, lookin' exceeding thoughtful; while Hugo had hustled around to his room to read off his notes.

We sat there on the hill until dark, me tryin' to pump him for more details, but he didn't have 'em. He said the Friar had started to work in the slums; but was soon lost sight of, and the first he had heard of him for years was when he had come up the pa.s.s, singin' his marchin' song. Course, I'd liked it some better if the Friar had knocked their heads together; but still, takin' his eyes an' voice into consideration, it must 'a' been a fine sight; and if ever I get the chance, I'm goin' to take on as a vestry-man, myself, for at least one term.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

TENDER FEELINGS

Me an' Horace was regular chums after this. I had got to likin' him after he had showed up good stuff under treatment; but I never took him serious until he got enthusiastic about Friar Tuck. This proved him to have desirable qualities and made him altogether worth while. A man never gets too old to dote on flattery; but the older he gets the more particular he is about its quality. It's just like tobacco an'

pie an' whiskey an' such things: we start out hungry for 'em an' take a lot o' trouble to get 'em in quant.i.ty; but after a time we'd sooner go without altogether than not to have a superior article; an' it's just the same way with flattery.

I took Horace into my most thoughtful moods as soon as I found out that he was as sound as a nut at heart, an' that it wasn't altogether his fault that he had been a pest to me at first. The human mind is like new land, some of it's rich an' some poor. Facts is like manure, idees is like seed, an' education is like spadin' up an' hoein' an'

rakin'. Rich soil is bound to raise somethin', even if it's nothin'

but weeds; but poor soil needs special care, or it won't even raise weeds. Now, manure can be put on so thick it will turn ground sour, an' seeds can be sowed so thick they will choke each other, an' a green hand will sometimes hoe up the vegetables an' cultivate the weeds; but the soil ain't to blame for this.

Poor Horace's mind had been bungled to an infernal degree; an' it kept me busy rootin' up sprouts o' Greek religion. I'd have stood this better if the Greek G.o.ds an' G.o.dduses had had Christian names; 'cause I own up 'at some o' his tales of 'em was interestin'; but I couldn't keep track of 'em, an' so I made him discard 'em in his conversations with me; an' the way he flattered me was, to reform himself accordin'

to what I demanded.

I was teachin' him how to shoot, an' he was enjoyin' it a lot. He had plenty o' money, and took pleasure in spendin' it. This was good, 'cause it costs a lot o' money to become a good shot. I'm glad I don't know what it cost me to learn how to shoot a man through both ears after doin' the double reverse roll. I never had but one fit chance to use this, an' then I shot Frenchy through his ears without rememberin'

to use the roll. I allus felt bad about this, 'cause I had a good audience, an' nothin' saves a man from the necessity o' shootin' his fellows, so much as havin' it well advertised that he is thoroughly qualified to do it in proper style. I kept up my own practicin' while teachin' Horace, an' we had right sociable times.

He could throw up a tin can with his left hand, pull his gun and, about once out o' ten shots, hit the can before it fell; which is purty fair shootin'; but he was beginnin' to suspect that he was a regular gun-man; which is a dangerous idee for any one to get into his head. I tried to weight down his head a little to keep him sensible, but instead o' thankin' me he went off with Tank, who shot up a lot of his cartridges at target practice; and in return, puffed up the top-heavy opinion Horace already had of himself.

He took Horace down to a warm canon where the' was a lot o'

rattlesnakes, claimin' it was necessary to test him out an' see if he had nerve on a livin' creature. He shot off the heads o' three snakes, hand-runnin', an' it nearly broke his hatband.

When he told me about it, I let him know 'at Tank was only workin'

him. "A rattlesnake will strike at a flash, Horace," sez I; "an' it was the snake's eyes which were accurate, not yours." This cut him up an' made him a little offish with me for a few days, until he found I had told him the truth. Ol' Tank Williams wasn't no fancy shot; but I'd rather have tackled Horace with a gun, c.o.c.ked in his hand, than ol' Tank, with his gun asleep in its holster.

After Horace had made the test of shootin' at dead snakes an' had found that he couldn't pop off three heads hand-runnin', he simmered down a little an' paid more heed to what I told him; but after I had proved that I told him straighter stuff 'n Tank did, I decided it would be necessary to punish him a little. I didn't get downright cold with him, because I didn't want to exaggerate his vanity any more 'n it already was; but I made it a point to do my loafin' with Spider Kelley. Horace was crazy to go bear-huntin'; but I didn't seem interested, an' I recommended ol' Tank Williams as bein' some the best bear-hunter the' was in existence. I wasn't jealous of Horace goin'

off shootin' with Tank; but still if a feller chooses to dispense with my company, I allus like to show him 'at I can stand it as long as he can.

Quite a string o' years had slipped away since the bettin' barber o'

Boggs had strung ol' man Dort; so I reminded Spider 'at we had agreed to help even that up sometime; and Spider, he said he was ready to do his part, whatever it happened to be; so we planned idees out among ourselves, while Horace hung around lookin' wishful.

We had never given it away about the woodchuck not bein' a regular squirrel; so the boys still used to congregate together purty often at ol' man Dort's to marvel at the way Columbus had filled out an' took on flesh. He had got rough an' blotchy soon after he had won the contest from Ben Butler, the red squirrel, an' it was plain to all that Eugene had done some high-toned barberin' on him before the day o' the show.

Ol' man Dort didn't have no affection for Columbus-fact is, he sort o' hated him for bein' bigger 'n Ben Butler; but he kept him fat an'

fit so as to be ready to enter in a contest the minute any feller came along with a squirrel he thought was big enough to back up with a bet.

The trouble was, that mighty few fellers out that way owned any squirrels, an' as the years dragged by without him gettin' any pastime out o' Columbus, ol' man Dort's affection for him grew thinner an'

thinner. Some o' the boys discovered him to be a woodchuck; but no one told of it for fear the old man would slaughter Eugene.

The old man kept on gettin' barbered, so as to have the chance o'

clas.h.i.+n' with Eugene about every subject which came up; but finally he got so he could be shaved in a decent, orderly manner without havin'

his head tied down to the rest. Him an' Eugene was the most antagonistic fellers I ever met up with; but it was a long time before me an' Spider could think up a way to get 'em fairly at it again.

One day Spider came ridin' in from Danders, bubblin' over with excitement, and yells out-"Pete Peabody's got a freak guinea-pig."

"That's glorious news," sez I. "Let's get all the boys together an'

hold a celebration."

"I guess a freak guinea-pig's as worthy o' bein' commented on as airy other kind of freak," sez Spider, stridin' off to the corral, purty well pouted up.

He hadn't more 'n reached it before an idee reached me, an' I ran after him. "What is the' freakish about this guinea-pig, Spider?" sez I.

"He's got a tail," snapped Spider.

"Ain't they all got tails?" sez I.

"You know they ain't," he sez. "You remember what that feller from the East said last spring-if you hold up a guinea-pig by the tail, his eyes fall out, an' then when we didn't believe it, he told us they didn't have no tails. Pete sez that this guinea-pig is the only one in the world what has a tail."