Communicating for a Change Part 8

By committing to build his talk around one thing rather than a list of things that nurture romance, Lane stumbled upon a simple yet profound insight that served as the big idea for the night. His entire talk centered around this one idea: You are the only legitimate source of romance in your spouse's life. Instead of focusing our attention on how to get something from our spouse, he focused our attention on our unique role. Again, simple but profound. Where did that idea come from? A combination of Bible study, discussion, observation, and an overarching commitment to dig until he found the insight around which to build his message. Once you commit to this approach and determine not to quit digging until you find the point, you will be amazed at what you unearth. In Lane's case it would have been much easier to give our folks a list of things. But lists go on paper. Single, powerful ideas have a way of penetrating the heart.

2. Build everything around it.

As I mentioned earlier, once you discover the one thing, the next step is to go back and orient your entire message around your point. Remember, we are taking people on a journey. Once you've identified the destination, you owe it to your audience to make the path clear and direct. That means you cut away the things that are not pertinent to the subject. You know what I'm talking about. The filler. The stuff you've thrown in because you are concerned about having enough to say. Sure, you need some of that in the initial preparation stages. That story you love to tell. That one liner that always gets a laugh. That insight that you are sure is original with you. That nuance in the original language that will impress people with your scholars.h.i.+p. But once you unearth that singular idea, insight, or application the filler has got to go. Ask yourself, Does this really facilitate the journey or is this just something that will get a laugh or fill time?

This can be a frustrating process. If you have spent three or four hours dissecting four or five juicy nuggets from a text, you feel like you need to share 'em all! What a waste to leave so much good stuff on the cutting room floor. But that's exactly what you must discipline yourself to do. Cutting away the peripheral is like narrowing a channel of water. You end up with a much more focused and powerful message people are able to follow, tracking with you as you lead them along. And all that extra stuff? Save it. Sunday comes around every week.

I meet with all our staff communicators two or three times before they deliver a message on Sunday morning. The most painful part of our meeting is when I look at them and say, "Here's your main idea, now go back and rearrange everything around it." It is painful because that entails cutting out some really good stuff. And besides, they thought they were finished. If you don't take the time to reorient your message around the one thing, it will get lost amongst the other things.

More on that in the next chapter.

3. Make it stick.

Once you have discovered your point and rebuilt your message around it, the next step is to craft a single statement or phrase that makes it stick. It needs to be as memorable as possible. This will help you as well as your audience. If it is short and memorable then it will be easier for you to blend it in throughout your message. If it is a well-crafted statement, it will be more obvious to your audience that this is your point.

Generally speaking, people will not be impacted by a paragraph. n.o.body remembers a paragraph. People are impacted by statements that stick. You need a sticky statement. Take the time to reduce your one point to one sticky statement. It doesn't need to be cute. It doesn't have to rhyme. But it should be short and memorable. Your statement is your anchor. It is what holds the message together and keeps it from drifting off course. This will be what people remember.

Here are some examples a Your friends determine the direction and quality of your life a Purity paves the way to intimacy a When you see as G.o.d sees, you will do as G.o.d says a Submission is an invitation to lead a Everybody lives forever somewhere a Acceptance fuels influence a Good people don't go to heaven, forgiven people do a G.o.d takes full responsibility for the life fully devoted to Him a Cooperate don't manipulate a To understand why, submit and apply a Others first a Maximum freedom is found under G.o.d's authority Your point can be a statement taken right out of the Scriptures. When I talk to students about their friends the one thing is the first half of Proverbs 13:20, "He who walks with the wise grows wise." I developed a message on purity from 1 Corinthians 6:18. My point was one word, "Flee!"

On occasions the one point has been a question. We did a series on the life of Joseph. The question I asked throughout was, "What would somebody who is you do if they were absolutely confident that G.o.d was with them?" I just kept coming back to that question throughout the narrative.

When preaching through John 6, my point was a question from the text, "To whom shall we go?"8 I'll never forget a letter I received about a year later from a college freshman. She was in her dorm the first week of her first semester and everybody was going crazy. She said she sat there wondering if she should put Christianity on hold for a while and join the fun. She wrote, "As I was sitting there your question popped into my head, *To whom shall I go? To whom shall I go? If not Christ, who?'" That night she reaffirmed her decision to follow Christ in college. By the end of her freshman year she had established herself as a leader in her sorority. She started a Bible study. During her undergraduate studies she led several of her sisters to faith. She points to that night as a defining moment. Those weren't my words. But she heard that question asked so many times throughout that message that it stuck in her heart. And the Holy Spirit surfaced it at a critical time.

Creating a statement that sticks is a step most communicators skip. I understand why. By the time I get to this point in the preparation process I'm tired. Surely after thirty or forty minutes of hearing me talk people are smart enough to know what I'm saying. Possibly. But as soon as they head for their cars it starts slipping away. It is not enough to say it. We need to say it in a way that makes it stick. Unless a unless your goal is just information transfer. If you are simply teaching the Bible or even teaching people the Bible, a well-crafted, memorable statement is not necessary. Just cover your material and leave it at that.

I am convinced that this one extra step makes all the difference. But again, I know why most communicators don't do it. You don't need it to keep people awake or engaged. But if you are concerned about what happens once they leave the room, you better make it stick.

BURDEN BEARER.

Thus far our discussion has been somewhat academic. Get a point. Make it memorable. Yawn. But there is another aspect to one point preaching and teaching that is anything but academic. In fact, it is this dimension of the one point message that drives me to keep searching for the one thing among the many. My dad has a word for it. He calls it the preacher's "burden."

My dad and I have a standing breakfast appointment on the first Thursday of every month. It is something I always look forward to. Eventually the discussion always makes its way around to church stuff. On this particular morning we got on the subject of preaching. Now if you have heard my dad preach, you know he is the master of points. Why have three when you can have eight? Or twelve? He's been preaching that way for years. Note takers love him. Actually, a lot of people love him. Anyway, I was going on and on about this idea of building the message around one point when he interrupted me with, "You've got to have a burden. That's the thing most preachers are missing. A burden. If they don't have a burden it's just a bunch of fluff."

As we continued our conversation, it became apparent that when he talked about a preacher's burden he was referring to the one thing. That one message, idea, principle, or truth that had to be delivered at all cost. The one thing isn't just information. It is not just a carefully crafted phrase. It is literally a burden. It is a burden that weighs so heavily on the heart of the communicator that he or she must deliver it. And he was right, you can tell when a communicator is carrying a burden versus when he is simply dispensing information.

At some point in the preparation process, you must stop and ask yourself, "What is the one thing I must communicate? What is it that people have to know?" If you don't have an answer to that question, you aren't ready. Think about it. If after all your preparation you can't answer that question, what's the point in preaching? If YOU don't know what it is you are dying to communicate, the audience certainly isn't going to be able to figure it out.

Is there anything you are so excited about sharing that you can't wait until you get to that part of the message? If not, you aren't ready. You don't have a burden. You may have pages of information and it may all be true, but if you don't have something that people need so badly that you feel compelled to share it, you still have work to do.

The sermons that have put you to sleep were delivered by men with information but no burden. A burden brings pa.s.sion to preaching. It transforms lifeless theology into compelling truth. When I talk to high school students about purity, my message is simple: Purity paves the way to intimacy. But it is more than a principle. It is more than a cute phrase. It is a burden I carry for teenagers. It is something they've got to know.

Reducing your message to one idea will allow you to create an entire talk around the one thing you most want to communicate. It makes memorizing, embracing, or owning the message so much easier. Why? Because your goal is to deliver that one point. As long as you're making sense and moving in the direction toward the intended destination, then it doesn't really matter what you leave out along the way. What matters is that you're bringing the audience along with you.

BUT WHAT ABOUT a On occasion someone will ask, "But isn't it the job of the Holy Spirit to take the Scripture and work it into the heart's and minds of the listener as he sees fit? If so, who are we to limit the work of the Spirit by limiting the scope of the message to one thing?"

I agree, it is the job of the Holy Spirit to take the spoken word and convict, convince, and change the hearer. And we have no control over which part of what we say the Spirit might choose to use. Further, I think you would agree that the Holy Spirit often takes different ideas, ill.u.s.trations, and insights from the same message and applies them to different people in various ways. After all, He's like the wind. You can't harness Him. He will do as He pleases.

But if we are going to let that truth shape our preparation, why organize a message at all? Why not just get up and start talking, sprinkle in a few verses and trust the Holy Spirit to do His thing? Actually, I've heard guys speak that left me with the impression that that's exactly what they were doing. It was interesting, but not all that helpful.

If you are going to use any kind of organizational structure at all, albeit one point, three points, four points, storytelling, or testimony, you have already made a decision to limit the scope of what you are planning to say. Face it, once you pick a text (or two) you have limited the scope of the message. All I'm saying is pick one and stay with it.

Besides, it is easier for people to follow a message built around a single idea. Easy to follow translates into enjoyable to experience. And if they enjoy the communication experience they are likely to come back for more. And if they keep coming back for more they are going to be exposed to more truth which gives the Holy Spirit more opportunities to speak to them. So you could argue that a one point message is more conducive to the work of the Spirit.

Let's face it, the reason so many churches are half full on Sunday morning is because a whole bunch of people decided not to come back. Why? The preacher didn't give 'em anything to come back for. There were plenty of points, but nothing worth coming back for the following week.

In the next chapter I'm going to introduce a new kind of outlining technique that is designed to keep a single point in view throughout a message. But honestly, the next chapter isn't going to do you much good unless you are willing to pick a point. I know that for many this runs against the grain of everything you've been taught and seen modeled. I know it leaves you wondering, "But what am I going to talk about for twenty or thirty minutes?" But I also know that if you will try it, if you will make up your mind once and for all that your goal is not to fill up your allotted time, but to communicate for life change, then this approach may liberate you as a communicator. Now go pick a point.

a In a one point message it is essential for the communicator to know the answer to two questions: What is the one thing I want my audience to know? What do I want them to do about it?

a For most communicators the biggest challenge will not be finding the one idea, but eliminating the other three.

a The process for developing a one point message is as follows: 1. Dig until you find it 2. Build everything around it 3. Make it stick.

13.

CREATE A MAP.

What's the best route to your point?

Once you pick a point, you need a way to introduce it, support it, and apply it to your audience. So now comes the tedious work of developing an outline. If you have been communicating for any length of time I'm sure you have a style or format that works for you. I have friends who ma.n.u.script. I know a guy who mind-maps. One well respected communicator that we all know confided in me that he prepares everything in his head. No written outline. To each his own.

Now while it is true that there is no one "right" way to outline a message, I have discovered a method that has proven to be extraordinarily effective for organizing material around a single point. This outlining method is built around the communicator's relations.h.i.+p with the audience rather than content. After all, the way we organize material on paper is very different from how we process information in a conversation. (Try outlining a conversation with your spouse.) For that reason, this method allows the message to retain a conversational quality.

The outline revolves around five words, each of which represents a section of the message. They are: ME, WE, G.o.d, YOU, WE.

With this approach the communicator introduces a dilemma he or she has faced or is currently facing (ME). From there you find common ground with your audience around the same or a similar dilemma (WE). Then you transition to the text to discover what G.o.d says about the tension or question you have introduced (G.o.d). Then you challenge your audience to act on what they have just heard (YOU). And finally, you close with several statements about what could happen in your community, your church, or the world, if everybody embraced that particular truth (WE).

Each of the five components plays a specific and important role in facilitating the communication journey. ME orients the audience to the topic. It answers the question, "What is he/she talking about?" WE a.s.sures the audience that this is a relevant topic for them. It allows the communicator to identify with the audience. The G.o.d section serves as illumination. Here is where we bring a new perspective to or s.h.i.+ne fresh light on a specific tension. YOU is simply application. WE is the placeholder for inspiration.

ME WE G.o.d YOU WE.

Orientation Identification Illumination Application Inspiration Perhaps an example would help. Let's a.s.sume your topic is marriage. There are dozens of things you could say about marriage, but you have narrowed it down to one thing: Submission is the best decision. The idea being that our first response should be to put the needs and desires of our spouse ahead of our own. With that in mind, here's how the MWGYW outline might look.

INTRODUCTION:.

MEa"Sometimes I find myself wondering how to respond to situations in my marriage.

WEa"I imagine you have found yourself in situations where you weren't sure what to do either.

G.o.da"The Bible teaches that we are to submit to one another; put the desires and needs of our spouse ahead of our own needs and desires.

YOUa"Next time you aren't sure what to say or do, ask yourself this question, "How can I put the needs and desires of my spouse ahead of my own in this moment?"

Conclusion: In a marriage, submission is generally the best decision.

WEa"Imagine what would happen in our community if all of us began to model that kind of mutual submission before our friends and neighbors.

ME.

By starting with a statement or story about myself I am able to introduce myself as well as the topic to the audience. This is especially important when addressing a new audience. But ME isn't really about me. ME is about finding common ground with THEM. Common ground is an essential to any relations.h.i.+p. Especially a communicator's relations.h.i.+p with an audience. An audience has to buy into the messenger before they buy into the message. You know from your own experience that if there is something that bugs you about the communicator it's difficult to engage with their content. This is especially true if they don't seem genuine. A lack of genuineness makes it difficult to trust a speaker. You may even catch yourself resisting and arguing with their content.

Now, what is easy to spot from the audience is difficult to see from the stage. n.o.body is arrogant or insincere or slick on purpose. But it happens all the time. And in most cases the communicator never knows it is happening. Five minutes into a talk and she has lost her audience. And doesn't have a clue. Or if they do sense something is wrong, they don't know why.

Recently I received some very negative feedback from a talk I gave at a Youth Specialties Conference. I was really surprised by the reaction. The talk I had given was one I had done on many occasions and had received overwhelmingly positive feedback. So I was shocked to hear that "hundreds of student leaders walked out in the middle." Some actually booed me.

Intrigued, I contacted my host at the conference and asked for a copy of the talk. He graciously sent me one, along with his comments. He a.s.sured me that on most occasions he really enjoyed my leaders.h.i.+p messages, but this particular one was not one of his favorites. And he went on from there to tell me why. Again, I was really surprised. I knew what I had said. And again, it wasn't anything I hadn't said before.

But as soon as I started listening to the CD, I knew what had happened. I a.s.sumed a relations.h.i.+p with this audience that I did not have. Specifically, at the beginning of my talk my microphone went out. So for the first few minutes I was trying to get the mike to work while a guy from backstage fiddled with my belt pack. A bit unnerving in front of five thousand student pastors. I am very committed to staying within the allotted time given. Especially in an environment that is programming heavy. So as they continued to mess with my microphone I was watching precious time slipping away. The sound gurus decided the headset wasn't going to work so they handed me a handheld mike. By this time I was pretty distracted. So much so that I made a huge communication blunder. Actually two. First, I skipped my introductory remarks and went right to the notes. Big mistake.

In my introduction I was planning to talk about the tensions I faced as a student pastor working in a church that was not student friendly. That was my connection with the audience. That was about my only connection with that audience. I'm forty-eight, most of the men and women in attendance were in their late twenties. I skipped ME and consequently it was difficult to convince them that there was much WE. Without meaning to, I positioned myself as a highly opinionated speaker who had little or no empathy for what the average student pastor was dealing with back at home.

The second mistake I made was that I rushed through the material. When a communicator rushes through material it sends a very specific message: I am more concerned about covering my material than I am about communicating with my audience. The emotional message it sends is, I am more concerned about ME than YOU. In my case, when I rush I have a tendency to overcommunicate my point. I can come across very dogmatic. After listening to the message I understood the response. The negative feedback I received focused on my content. But I'm confident the problem was my lack of connection with the audience combined with the tone of my communication.

It is difficult to receive challenging information from someone who seems to have no clue as to what it is like to be you. That is why the ME component of any talk is so important. When handled correctly, an audience finds themselves shaking their heads in agreement and thinking, "Me too." Or in southern vernacular, "You got 'dat right."

How you handle ME will be somewhat determined by your audience. Whenever you're speaking to a new audience, it's critical that you begin with something about yourself, because they don't know you. However, if you're talking to a group that hears you on a regular basis, ME is not as critical. They already know you.

Having said that, I always look for an opportunity to insert my personal struggles with the topic of the day at the front end of a message. After all, on any given Sunday, there will be people in the audience who don't know who I am. And by nature of the fact that I am a preacher, there will be people in the audience trying hard not to like me. Why? Because if they can build a solid case against me as a person, they have an ironclad excuse for ignoring everything I say. So I go out of my way to lay my humanity and frailty out on the front of the stage. Doing so tears down walls. Besides, if you preach from your weakness, you will never run out of material.

WE.

Having made it clear to our audience that we are wrestling with a particular tension, the next step is to broaden our tension so as to include everybody listening.

a Sometimes I wonder why I even bother praying (ME). I bet you've wondered about that as well (WE).

a Sometimes I wonder why I am overcome by the same temptations over and over (ME). But that's probably something that only I wrestle with. Right? (WE) a There are just some people I don't get along with (ME), can anybody here relate to that (WE)?

In this section you need to spend some time applying the tension to as many areas as you can so as to spark an emotion in as broad an audience as possible.

For example, one Christmas I addressed the issue of unmet expectations that seem to be bigger than life during the holiday season. I talked briefly about my family situation and my frustration of not being able to be with both of my parents at Christmas. That was ME. Then I spent a few minutes poking around in just about every family dynamic imaginable, hoping to spark an emotion in as many people as possible.

I addressed the blended family, the single who only has a few days off, the teenager who has to split the holidays with two sets of parents, the prodigal who probably wouldn't show up at all, the loved ones who went to be with the Lord since last Christmas. My goal was to surface the issue of unmet or unmeetable expectations at Christmas. I struggle with it. You struggle with it, too.

Now, if you are reading this book with a highlighter in your hand, I would encourage you to highlight this next sentence. Don't transition from WE to the next section until you feel like you have created a tension that your audience is dying for you to resolve. In other words, a.s.sume no interest. Focus on the question you are intending to answer until you are confident your audience wants it answered. Otherwise you are about to spend twenty or thirty minutes of your life answering a question n.o.body is asking. I imagine you have better things to do.

You've probably heard or read differing opinions on how much of a message should be allotted to application. If you've ever heard Chuck Swindoll, Bruce Wilkinson, or Rick Warren speak to this issue, they all make the case that seventy to eighty percent of the Gospels and Epistles are application oriented. I agree. (I bet those guys will be relieved to know that.) One of the advantages to this approach is that it wraps the entire message in application. Unlike some methods where the application is tacked on to the end, this approach allows the communicator to introduce a topic within the context of application. If you can get your audience to question something, say "Yeah, me to" about something, or simply wonder, "What should I do about that?" you have already crossed over into the realm of application. Application isn't a section of the message, it is the context of the message. The ME-WE-G.o.d-YOU-WE approach sets you up to address the issue of application in the beginning as well as at the end. If you open the message with your struggle (ME), and relate it to their struggle (WE), you're already in the arena of applied truth.

But enough about us.

G.o.d.

Now for the meat. The Bible part. The G.o.d part. The text! The goal here is to resolve the tension, or at least some of it, by pointing people to G.o.d's thoughts on the subject at hand. One of my well-worn transitions goes something like this: "Well, the good news is, we are not the first people to struggle with this. The people in Jesus' day did as well. Turn with me to a "

Similarly a "The good news is that we are not the first group to have doubts about G.o.d's goodness, King David did as well. Turn with me to a "

Or a "G.o.d must have known we would struggle with this because Jesus addressed this very issue one afternoon on His way to a "

You get the point.

When it comes to handling the text, communicators tend to move towards two extremes at this point. They either skip along the surface of a few verses without really explaining or engaging the text. Or they go down so deep and stay there so long everybody in the audience is gasping for air. The first extreme leaves the audience biblically illiterate. The second extreme reinforces the audience's a.s.sumption that they could never understand the Bible on their own.

On one hand you don't want to skimp on the Scripture. On the other hand, you don't want to bog down in the text. This is where sermons lose momentum and get boring. I think it is the fear of losing the audience that motivates so many young preachers to be Scripture light and story heavy. But there is a third option: Engage the audience with the text. Don't just read it. Don't explain it to death. Engage the audience with it. Take them with you. Make this part of the journey. Make it so fascinating that they are actually tempted to go home and read it on their own. This isn't easy, but it is worth the effort. And how you do this will be somewhat personality driven. In chapter fifteen I'll give you my rules for the road when it comes to keeping an audience engaged with the text.

YOU.

As I mentioned earlier, this section is typically referred to as the application of the message. This is where we tell people what to do with what they have heard. This is where we answer the questions "So what?" and "Now what?"

My preference is to find one point of application that I can challenge everybody to embrace. I rarely ask people to make a life-altering commitment to anything. I don't think that is realistic. But I often challenge people to try something for a week, or even a day. Occasionally, I'll ask people to commit to something for a month.

As we are about to discover, finding one application that everybody can get on line with sets you up for the WE aspect of your message. But more importantly, it allows you to stay focused and concise in your communication.

When it seems necessary to broaden the application I find it helpful to think through the concentric circles of relations.h.i.+ps. You were probably taught this somewhere along the way.

a How does this apply to me?

a How does this apply to my family relations.h.i.+ps?

a How does this apply to my relations.h.i.+ps in the community of faith?

a How does this apply to my relations.h.i.+ps with those outside the faith?

a How does this apply in the marketplace?

Another way to mine for application is to think through the various stages of life: a How does this apply to teenagers and college students?

a How does this apply to singles?

a How does this apply to newlyweds?

a How does this apply to parents?

a How does this apply to empty nesters?

I'm not recommending that you walk through all these categories in your message. But by taking the time to think through each of these on your own you will surface some angles that you might have otherwise missed.

There is a third list to think about as well: Believers and unbelievers.

I often address unbelievers at this point in the message. If there is an application for them, I make it. After all, a principle is a principle. Many biblical principles work for anybody. Unconditional love makes an impact regardless of your theology. So does honesty and a dozen other biblical virtues. If I can get an unbeliever to apply a biblical principle and he or she sees results, that's progress.

When a message does not apply to an unbeliever, I let 'em know that as well. In fact I usually let 'em know up front. I often say something to the effect of, "If you are not a believer, you are off the hook today. Just sit back and relax. You are in a guilt-free zone. In fact, today's message may give you another reason to put off becoming a Christian."

The last category I might apply a message to is the person who is not there. Every time you speak, somebody is sitting there thinking about someone who really needed to hear what you had to say. Go ahead and address the person who is there but who knows somebody who should have been there. Suggest ways for them to get your message in front of that person, tactfully.