The Black Baronet; or, The Chronicles Of Ballytrain Part 62

"Eight, Morty; if the devil had the agency of the ancient earl's soul, I would soon get that of his ancient property; but whilst he lives it can't be accomplished. What do you imagine the old bawble wants with the young one?"

"Well, I don't know; I'm hammerin' upon that for some time past, and can't come at it."

"Come, then, let us get the materials first, and then put them on the anvil of my imagination. _Imprimis_--which means, Morty, _in the first place_, have you heard anything?"

"No; nothing to speak of."

"Well, in the second place, have you seen or observed anything?"

"Why, no; not much."

"Which means--both your answers included--that you have both heard and seen--so I interpret 'nothing to speak of,' on the one hand, and your 'not much,' on the other. Out with it; two heads are better than one: what you miss, I may hit."

"The devil's no match for you, Bar--Mr. Norton, and it's hard to expect Dunroe should. I'll tell you, then--for, in troth, I'm as anxious to come at the meanin' of it myself as you can be for the life of you. Some few months ago, when we were in London, there came a man to me."

"Name him, Morty."

"His name was M'Bride."

"M'Bride--proceed."

"His name was M'Bride. His face was tanned into mahogany, just as every man's is that has lived long in a hot country. 'Your name,' says he, 'is O'Flaherty, I understand?'"

"'Morty O'Flaherty, at your sarvice,' says I, 'and how are you, sir? I'm happy to see you; only in the mane time you have the advantage of me.'"

"'Many thanks to you,' said he, 'for your kind inquiries; as to the advantage, I won't keep it long; only you don't seem to know your relations.'"

"'Maybe not,' says I, 'they say it's a wise man that does. Are you one o' them?'"

"'I'm one o' them, did you ever hear of ould Kid Flaherty?'"

"'Well, no; but I did of Buck Flaherty, that always went in boots and buckskin breeches, and wore two watches and a silver-mounted whip.'"

"'Well, you must know that Kid was a son'--and here he pointed his thumb over his left shoulder wid a knowin' grin upon him--'was a son of the ould Buck's. The ould Buck's wife was a Murtagh; now she again had a cousin named M'Shaughran, who was married upon a man by name M'Faddle.

M'Faddle had but one sisther, and she was cousin to Frank M'Fud, that suffered for--but no matther--the M'Swiggins and the M'Fuds were cleaveens to the third cousins of Kid Flaherty's first wife's sister-in-law, and she again was married in upon the M'Brides of Newton Nowhere--so that you see you and I are thirty-second cousins at all events.'"

"'Well, anyway he made out some relations.h.i.+p between us, or at least I thought he did--and maybe that was as good--and faith may be a great deal better, for if ever a man had the look of a schemer about him the same customer had. At any rate we had some drink together, and went on very well till we got befuddled, which, it seems, is his besetting sin.

It was clearly his intention, I could see, to make me tipsy, and I dare say he might a done so, only for a slight mistake he made in first getting tipsy himself."

"Well, but I'm not much the wiser of this," observed Norton. "What are you at?"

"Neither am I," replied Morty; "and as to what I'm at--I dunna what the devil I'm at. That's just what I want to know."

"Go on," said the other, "we must have patience. Who did this fellow turn out to be?"

"He insisted he was a relation of my own, as I tould you."

"Who the devil cares whether he was or not! What was he, then?"

"Ay; what was he?--that's what I'm askin' you."

"Proceed," said Norton; "tell it your own way."

"He said he came from the Aist Indies beyant; that he knew some members of his lords.h.i.+p's family there; that he had been in Paris, and that while he was there he larned to take French lave of his masther."

"But who was his master?"

"That he would not tell me. However, he said he had been in Ireland for some time before, where he saw an aunt of his, that was half mad; and then he went on to tell me that he had been once at sarvice wid my masther, and that if he liked he could tell him a secret; but then, he said, it wouldn't be worth his while, for that he would soon know it."

"Very clear, perfectly transparent, nothing can be plainer. What a Tipperary sphinx you are; an enigma, half man, half beast, although there is little enigma in that, it is plain enough. In the meantime, you bog-trotting oracle, say whether you are humbugging me or not."

"Devil a bit I'm humbuggin' you; but proud as you sit there, you have trotted more bogs and horses than ever I did."

"Well, never mind that, Morty. What did this end in?"

"End in!--why upon my conscience I don't think it's properly begun yet."

"Good-by," exclaimed Norton, rising to go, or at least pretending to do so. "Many thanks in the meantime for your information--it is precious, invaluable."

"Well, now, wait a minute. A few days ago I seen the same schemer skulkin' about the house as if he was afeared o' bein' seen; and that beef and mutton may be my poison, wid health to use them, but I seen him stealin' out of his lords.h.i.+p's own room. So, now make money o' that; only when you do, don't be puttin' it in circulation."

"No danger of that, Morty, in any sense. At all events, I don't deal in base coin."

"Don't you, faith. I wondher what do you call imposin' Barney Bryan, the horse-jockey, on his lords.h.i.+p, for Tom Norton, the gentleman? However, no matther--that's your own affair; and so long as you let the good ould lord alone among you--keep your secret--I'm not goin' to interfere wid you. None of your travellers' tricks upon him, though."

"No, not on him, Morty; but concerning this forthcoming marriage, if it takes place, I dare say I must travel; I can't depend upon Dunroe's word."

"Why, unlikelier things has happened, Mr. Norton. I think you'll be forced to set out."

"Well, I only say that if Mr. Norton can prevent it, it won't happen.

I can wind this puppy of a lord, who has no more will of his own than a goose, nor half so much; I say I can wind him round my finger; and if I don't get him to make himself, in any interview he may have with her, so egregiously ridiculous, as to disgust her thoroughly, my name's not Norton--hem--ha, ha, ha!"

"Well, your name's not Norton--very good. In the mane time more power to you in that; for by all accounts it's a sin and a shame to throw away such a girl upon him."

Norton now having gained all he could from his old acquaintance, got up, and was about to leave the room, when Morty, looking at him significantly, asked,

"Where are you bound for now, if it's a fair question?"

"I will tell you, then, Morty--upon an affair that's anything but pleasant to me, and withal a little dangerous: to buy a horse for Dunroe."

"Troth, you may well say so; in G.o.d's name keep away from horses and.

jockeys, or you'll be found out; but, above all things, don't show your face on the Curragh."

"Well, I don't know. I believe, after all, there's no such vast distinction there between the jockeys and the gentlemen. Sometimes the jockey swindles himself up into a gentleman, and sometimes the gentleman swindles himself down to a jockey. So far there would be no great mistake; the only thing to be dreaded is, discovery, so far as it affects the history which I gave of myself to Dunroe and his father.

Then there is the sale of some races against me on that most elastic sod; and I fear they are not yet forgotten. Yes, I shall avoid the Curragh; but you know, a fit of illness will easily manage that.

However, pa.s.s that by; I wish I knew what the old peer and the young one are discussing."

"What now," said Norton to himself, after Morty had gone, "can this M'Bride be scheming about in the family? There's a secret here, I'm certain. Something troubles the old peer of late, whatever it is. Well, let me see; I'll throw myself in the way of this same M'Bride, and it will go hard with me or I'll worm it out of him. The knowledge of it may serve me. It's a good thing to know family secrets, especially for a hanger-on like myself. One good effect it may produce, and that is, throw worthy Lord Dunroe more into my power. Yes, I will see this M'Bride, and then let me alone for playing my card to some purpose."