Angela's Ashes: A Memoir Part 3

Oh, Frankie, Frankie. I said that was one sick child.

Malachy is clutching himself.Have to pee.Have to pee.

So, pee awready.You boys pee and we see you mother.

After we pee Mrs.Leibowitz comes to see Mam.Oh,Mrs.McCourt.

Oy vey, darlink. Look at this. Look at these twins. Naked. Mrs.

McCourt, what is mazzer, eh? The baby she is sick? So talk to me. Poor woman. Here turn around, missus.Talk to me.Oy, this is one mess.Talk to me,Mrs.McCourt.

She helps my mother sit up against the wall. Mam seems smaller.

Mrs. Leibowitz says sheall bring some soup and tells me get some water to wash my motheras face. I dip a towel in cold water and pat her forehead. She presses my hand against her cheeks. Oh, Jesus, Frankie.

Oh, Jesus. She wonat let my hand go and Iam frightened because Iave never seen her like this before. Sheas saying Frankie only because itas my hand sheas holding and itas Margaret sheas thinking about, not me.

Your lovely little sister is dead, Frankie. Dead. And where is your father? She lets my hand drop. I said where is your father? Drinking.

Thatas where he is.There isnat a penny in the house. He canat get a job but he finds money for the drink, money for the drink, money for the drink, money for the drink. She rears back, knocks her head on the wall and screams,Where is she? Where is she? Where is my little girl?

Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help me this night. Iall go mad, so I will, Iall go pure mad.

Mrs. Leibowitz rushes in. Missus, missus, what is it? The little girl.

Where is she?

My mother screams again, Dead, Mrs. Leibowitz. Dead. Her head drops and she rocks back and forth. Middle of the night,Mrs.Leibowitz.

In her pram. I should have been watching her. Seven weeks she had in 37.this world and died in the middle of the night, alone,Mrs. Leibowitz, all alone in that pram.

Mrs. Leibowitz holds my mother in her arms. Shush, now, shush.

Babies go like that. It happens, missus. G.o.d takes them.

In the pram, Mrs. Leibowitz. Near my bed. I could have picked her up and she didnat have to die, did she? G.o.d doesnat want little babies.

What is G.o.d going to do with little babies?

I donat know, missus. I donat know from G.o.d. Have soup. Good soup. Make you strong.You boys. Get bowls. I give you soup.

Whatas bowls, Mrs. Leibowitz?

Oh, Frankie.You donat know bowl? For the soup, darlink.You dona have a bowl? So get cups for the soup. I mix pea soup and lentil soup.

No ham. Irish like the ham. No ham, Frankie.Drink, missus. Drink you soup.

She spoons the soup into my motheras mouth, wipes the dribble from her chin. Malachy and I sit on the floor drinking from mugs.We spoon the soup into the twinsa mouths. It is lovely and hot and tasty.

My mother never makes soup like this and I wonder if thereas any chance Mrs. Leibowitz could ever be my mother. Freddie could be me and have my mother and my father, too, and he could have Malachy and the twins for brothers. He canat have Margaret anymore because sheas like the dog in the street that was taken away. I donat know why she was taken away.My mother said she died in her pram and that must be like getting hit by a car because they take you away.

I wish little Margaret could be here for the soup. I could give it to her with a spoon the way Mrs. Leibowitz is giving it to my mother and shead gurgle and laugh the way she did with Dad. She wouldnat cry anymore and my mother wouldnat be in the bed day and night and Dad would be telling me Cuchulain stories and I wouldnat want Mrs. Leibowitz to be my mother anymore. Mrs. Leibowitz is nice but Iad rather have my father telling me Cuchulain stories and Margaret chirping and Mam laughing when Dad dances with two left feet.

Minnie MacAdorey comes in to help. Mother oa G.o.d, Mrs. Leibowitz, these twins smell to the high heavens.

I donat know about Mother oa G.o.d, Minnie, but these twins need a wash.They need clean diapers. Frankie, where are the clean diapers?

38.I donat know.

Minnie says,Theyare just wearing rags for diapers. Iall get some of Maisieas. Frankie, you take off those rags and throw them out.

Malachy removes Oliveras rag and I struggle with Eugene. The safety pin is stuck and when he wriggles it comes loose, sticks him in the hip, and starts him screaming for Mam. But Minnie is back with a towel and soap and hot water. I help her wash away the caked s.h.i.+t and she lets me shake talc.u.m powder on the twinsa raw sore skin. She says theyare good little boys and she has a big surprise for them. She goes down the hall and brings back a pot of mashed potatoes for all of us. There is plenty of salt and b.u.t.ter in the potatoes and I wonder if thereas any chance Minnie could be my mother so that I could eat like this all the time. If I could have Mrs. Leibowitz and Minnie for mothers at the same time Iad have no end of soup and mashed potatoes.

Minnie and Mrs.Leibowitz sit at the table.Mrs.Leibowitz says something has to be done.These children are running wild and where is the father? I hear Minnie whisper heas out for the drink.Mrs. Leibowitz says terrible, terrible, the way the Irish drink. Minnie says her Dan doesnat drink.Never touches the stuff and Dan told her that when the baby died that poor man, Malachy McCourt, went mad all over Flatbush Avenue and Atlantic Avenue, that he was thrown out of all the bars around the Long Island Railroad Station, that the cops would have thrown him in jail if it was anything else but the death of that lovely little baby.

Here he has four lovely little boys, says Minnie, but itas no comfort to him. That little girl brought out something in him.You know he didnat even drink after she was born and that was a miracle.

Mrs. Leibowitz wants to know where Mamas cousins are, the big women with the quiet husbands. Minnie will find them and tell them the children are neglected, running wild, sore a.r.s.es and everything.

Two days later Dad returns from his cigarette hunt. Itas the middle of the night but he gets Malachy and me out of the bed. He has the smell of the drink on him. He has us stand at attention in the kitchen.We are soldiers. He tells us we must promise to die for Ireland.

We will, Dad,we will.

All together we sing Kevin Barry, 39.On Mountjoy one Monday morning, High upon the gallows tree, Kevin Barry gave his young life For the cause of liberty.

Just a lad of eighteen summers Sure thereas no one can deny As he marched to death that morning How he held his head on high.

Thereas a knock at the door, Mr. MacAdorey. Och, Malachy, for G.o.das sake, itas three in the morning.You have the whole house woke with the singing.

Och, Dan, Iam only teaching the boys to die for Ireland.

You can teach them to die for Ireland in the daytime, Malachy.

aTis urgent,Dan, atis urgent.

I know, Malachy, but theyare only children. Babies.You go to bed now like a dacent man.

Bed, Dan! What am I to do in bed? Her little face is there day and night, her curly black hair and her lovely blue eyes. Oh, Jesus, Dan, what will I do? Was it the hunger that killed her, Dan?

Of course not.Your missus was nursing her. G.o.d took her. He has his reasons.

One more song, Dan, before we go to bed.

Good night, Malachy.

Come on, boys. Sing.

Because he loved the motherland, Because he loved the green He goes to meet a martyras fate With proud and joyous mien; True to the last, oh! true to the last He treads the upward way; Young Roddy McCorley goes to die On the bridge at Toome today.

Youall die for Ireland,wonat you, boys?

We will, Dad.

And weall all meet your little sister in heaven,wonat we, boys?

We will, Dad.

40.My brother is standing with his face pressed against a leg of the table and heas asleep. Dad lifts him, staggers across the room, places him in the bed by my mother. I climb into bed and my father, still in his clothes, lies beside me. Iam hoping heall put his arms around me but he goes on singing about Roddy McCorley and talking to Margaret, Oh,my little curly-haired, blue-eyed love, I would dress you in silks and take you to Lough Neagh, till day is at the window and I fall asleep.

That night Cuchulain comes to me.Thereas a big green bird on his shoulder that keeps singing about Kevin Barry and Roddy McCorley and I donat like that bird because thereas blood dripping from his mouth when he sings. In one hand Cuchulain carries the gae bolga, the spear that is so mighty only he can throw it. In the other hand he carries a banana, which he keeps offering to the bird, who just squawks and spits blood at him.Youad wonder why Cuchulain puts up with a bird like that. If the twins ever spat blood at me when I offered them a banana I think Iad hit them on the head with it.

In the morning my father is at the kitchen table and I tell him my dream. He says there were no bananas in Ireland in the old times and even if there were Cuchulain would never offer one to that bird because that was the one that came over from England for the summer and perched on his shoulder when he was dying and propped up against a stone and when the men of Erin which is Ireland wanted to kill him they were afraid till they saw the bird drinking Cuchulainas blood and then they knew it was safe to attack him, the dirty b.l.o.o.d.y cowards. So you have to be wary of birds, Francis, birds and Englishmen.

Most of the day Mam lies in bed with her face to the wall. If she drinks tea or eats anything she throws up in the bucket under the bed and I have to empty it and rinse it in the lavatory down the hall. Mrs. Leibowitz brings her soup and funny bread that is twisted. Mam tries to slice it but Mrs. Leibowitz laughs and tells her just pull. Malachy calls it pull bread but Mrs. Leibowitz says,No, itas challah, and teaches us how to say it. She shakes her head.Oy, you Irish.Youall live forever but youall never say challah like a Chew.

Minnie MacAdorey brings potatoes and cabbage and sometimes a piece of meat. Och, times are hard, Angela, but that lovely man, Mr. Roosevelt, will find a job for everyone and your husband will have 41.work.Poor man, itas not his fault thereas a Depression. He looks for work day and night. My Dan is lucky, four years with the city and he donat drink. He grew up in Toome with your husband. Some drink. Some donat. Curse of the Irish. Now eat,Angela. Build yourself up after your loss.

Mr. MacAdorey tells Dad thereas work with the WPA and when he gets the work thereas money for food and Mam leaves the bed to clean the twins and to feed us.When Dad comes home with the drink smell thereas no money and Mam screams at him till the twins cry, and Malachy and I run out to the playground. On those nights Mam crawls back into bed and Dad sings the sad songs about Ireland.Why doesnat he hold her and help her sleep the way he did with my little sister who died? Why doesnat he sing a Margaret song or a song that will dry Mamas tears? He still gets Malachy and me out of bed to stand in our s.h.i.+rts promising to die for Ireland. One night he wanted to make the twins promise to die for Ireland but they canat even talk and Mam screamed at him,You mad oula b.a.s.t.a.r.d, canat you leave the children alone?

Heall give us a nickel for ice cream if we promise to die for Ireland and we promise but we never get the nickel.

We get soup from Mrs. Leibowitz and mashed potatoes from Minnie MacAdorey and they show us how to take care of the twins, how to wash their bottoms and how to wash diaper rags after they get them all s.h.i.+tty.Mrs. Leibowitz calls them diapers and Minnie calls them nappies but it doesnat matter what they call them because the twins get them s.h.i.+tty anyway. If Mam stays in the bed and Dad goes out looking for a job we can do what we like all day.We can put the twins in the small swings in the park and swing them till they get hungry and cry.The Italian man calls to me from across the street, Hey, Frankie, camere.Watch out crossing da street. Dem twins hungry again? He gives us bits of cheese and ham and bananas but I canat eat bananas anymore after the way the bird spat blood at Cuchulain.

The man says his name is Mr. Dimino and thatas his wife, Angela, behind the counter. I tell him thatas my motheras name. No kiddina, kid.Your mother is Angela? I didnat know the Irish had any Angelas.

Hey, Angela, his motheras name is Angela. She smiles. She says, Thatsa nice.

42.Mr. Dimino asks me about Mam and Dad and who cooks for us. I tell him we get food from Mrs. Leibowitz and Minnie MacAdorey. I tell him all about the diapers and the nappies and how they get s.h.i.+tty anyway and he laughs.Angela, you listenina to this? Thank G.o.d youare Italian, Angela. He says, Kid, I gotta talk to Mrs. Leibowitz.Ya gotta have relations can take care of you.Ya see Minnie MacAdorey, tell her come in see me.You kids runnina wild.

Two big women are at the door.They say,Who are you?

Iam Frank.

Frank! How old are you?

Iam four going on five.

Youare not very big for your age, are you?

I donat know.

Is your mother here?

Sheas in the bed.

What is she doing in the bed on a fine day in the middle of the day?

Sheas sleeping.

Well,weall come in.We have to talk to your mother.

They brush past me into the room.Jesus,Mary and Joseph, the smell of this place.And who are these children?

Malachy runs smiling to the big women.When he smiles you can see how white and straight and pretty his teeth are and you can see the s.h.i.+ny blue of his eyes, the pink of his cheeks. All that makes the big women smile and I wonder why they didnat smile when they talked to me.

Malachy says, Iam Malachy and this is Oliver and this is Eugene, theyare twins, and thatas Frankie over there.

The big woman with the brown hair says,Well, youare not a bit shy, are you? Iam your motheras cousin, Philomena, and this is your motheras cousin, Delia.Iam Mrs. Flynn and sheas Mrs.Fortune and thatas what you call us.

Good G.o.d, says Philomena.Those twins are naked. Donat you have clothes for them?

Malachy says,Theyare all s.h.i.+tty.

Delia barks. See.Thatas what happens.A mouth like a sewer, and no wonder with a father from the North. Donat use that word.Thatas a bad word, a curse word.You could go to h.e.l.l using a word like that.

43.Whatas h.e.l.l? says Malachy.Youall know soon enough, says Delia.

The big women sit at the table with Mrs. Leibowitz and Minnie MacAdorey. Philomena says itas terrible what happened to Angelaas little baby.They heard all about it and youad wonder,wouldnat you, what they did with the little body.You might wonder and I might wonder but Tommy Flynn didnat wonder.Tommy said that Malachy from the North got money for that baby. Money? says Mrs. Leibowitz.Thatas right, says Philomena. Money.They take bodies any age and do experiments on them and thereas not much left to give back nor would you want back bits of baby when they canat be buried in consecrated ground in that condition.

Thatas terrible, says Mrs. Leibowitz.A father or mother would never give the baby for something like that.

They would, says Delia, when they have the craving for the drink.

Theyad give their own mothers when they have the craving so whatas a baby thatas dead and gone in the first place?

Mrs. Leibowitz shakes her head and rocks in her chair.Oy, she says, oy, oy, oy.The poor baby.The poor mother. I thank G.o.d my husband donahave no what you call it? Craving? Right, craving. Itas the Irish have the craving.

Not my husband, says Philomena. Iad break his face if he came home with the craving. Of course, Deliaas Jimmy has the craving. Every Friday night you see him slipping into the saloon.

You neednat start insulting my Jimmy, says Delia. He works. He brings home his wages.

Youad want to keep an eye on him, says Philomena. The craving could get the better of him and youad have another Malachy from the North on your hands.

Mind your own b.l.o.o.d.y business, says Delia.At least Jimmy is Irish, not born in Brooklyn like your Tommy.

And Philomena has no answer for that.

Minnie is holding her baby and the big women say sheas a lovely baby, clean, not like this pack of Angelaas running around this place.

Philomena says she doesnat know where Angela got her dirty habits because Angelaas mother was spotless, so clean you could eat your dinner off her floor.

I wonder why youad want to eat your dinner off the floor when you had a table and a chair.

Delia says something has to be done about Angela and these chil- 44.dren for they are a disgrace, so they are, enough to make you ashamed to be related. A letter has to be written to Angelaas mother. Philomena will write it because a teacher in Limerick told her once she had a fine fist. Delia has to tell Mrs. Leibowitz that a fine fist means good handwriting.

Mrs. Leibowitz goes down the hall to borrow her husbandas fountain pen, paper and an envelope.The four women sit at the table and make up a letter to send to my motheras mother: Dear Aunt Margaret, I take pen in hand to write you this letter and hope this finds you as it leaves us in the best of health. My husband Tommy is in fine form working away and Deliaas husband Jimmy is in fine form working away and we hope this finds you in fine form. I am very sorry to tell you that Angela is not in fine form as the baby died, the little girl that was called Margaret after yourself, and Angela has not been the same since lying in the bed with her face to the wall.To make matters worser we think sheas expecting again and thatas too much altogether.

The minute she losses one child there is another one on the way.We donat know how she does it. Sheas married four years, five children and another on the way.That shows you what can happen when you marry someone from the North for they have no control over themselves up there a bunch of Protestands that they are. He goes out for work every day but we know he spends all his time in the saloons and gets a few dollars for sweeping floors and lifting barrels and spends the money right back on the drink. Itas terrible,Aunt Margaret, and we all think Angela and the children would be better off in her native land.We donat have the money to buy the tickets ourselves for times is hard but you might be able to see your way. Hopping this finds you in fine form as it leaves us thank G.o.d and His Blessed Mother.