Lincoln's Yarns and Stories Part 14

DIGNIFYING THE STATUTE.

Lincoln was married--he balked at the first date set for the ceremony and did not show up at all--November 4, 1842, under most happy auspices.

The officiating clergyman, the Rev. Mr. Dresser, used the Episcopal church service for marriage. Lincoln placed the ring upon the bride's finger, and said, "With this ring I now thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow."

Judge Thomas C. Browne, who was present, exclaimed, "Good gracious, Lincoln! the statute fixes all that!"

"Oh, well," drawled Lincoln, "I just thought I'd add a little dignity to the statute."

LINCOLN CAMPAIGN MOTTOES.

The joint debates between Lincoln and Douglas were attended by crowds of people, and the arrival of both at the places of speaking were in the nature of a triumphal procession. In these processions there were many banners bearing catch-phrases and mottoes expressing the sentiment of the people on the candidates and the issues.

The following were some of the mottoes on the Lincoln banners:

+----------------------------------------------------------+ Westward the star of empire takes its way; The girls link on to Lincoln, their mothers were for Clay. +----------------------------------------------------------+

+----------------------+ Abe, the Giant-Killer. +----------------------+

+---------------------------------+ Edgar County for the Tall Sucker. +---------------------------------+

+----------------------------------+ Free Territories and Free Men, Free Pulpits and Free Preachers, Free Press and a Free Pen, Free Schools and Free Teachers. +----------------------------------+

GIVING AWAY THE CASE.

Between the first election and inauguration of Mr. Lincoln the disunion sentiment grew rapidly in the South, and President Buchanan's failure to stop the open acts of secession grieved Mr. Lincoln sorely. Mr. Lincoln had a long talk with his friend, Judge Gillespie, over the state of affairs. One incident of the conversation is thus narrated by the Judge:

"When I retired, it was the master of the house and chosen ruler of the country who saw me to my room. 'Joe,' he said, as he was about to leave me, 'I am reminded and I suppose you will never forget that trial down in Montgomery county, where the lawyer a.s.sociated with you gave away the whole case in his opening speech. I saw you signaling to him, but you couldn't stop him.

"'Now, that's just the way with me and Buchanan. He is giving away the case, and I have nothing to say, and can't stop him. Good-night.'"

POSING WITH A BROOMSTICK.

Mr. Leonard Volk, the artist, relates that, being in Springfield when Lincoln's nomination for President was announced, he called upon Mr.

Lincoln, whom he found looking smiling and happy. "I exclaimed, 'I am the first man from Chicago, I believe, who has had the honor of congratulating you on your nomination for President.' Then those two great hands took both of mine with a grasp never to be forgotten, and while shaking, I said, 'Now that you will doubtless be the next President of the United States, I want to make a statue of you, and shall try my best to do you justice.'

"Said he, 'I don't doubt it, for I have come to the conclusion that you are an honest man,' and with that greeting, I thought my hands in a fair way of being crushed.

"On the Sunday following, by agreement, I called to make a cast of Mr.

Lincoln's hands. I asked him to hold something in his hands, and told him a stick would do. Thereupon he went to the woodshed, and I heard the saw go, and he soon returned to the dining-room, whittling off the end of a piece of broom handle. I remarked to him that he need not whittle off the edges. 'Oh, well,' said he, 'I thought I would like to have it nice.'"

"BOTH LENGTH AND BREADTH."

During Lincoln's first and only term in Congress--he was elected in 1846--he formed quite a cordial friends.h.i.+p with Stephen A. Douglas, a member of the United States Senate from Illinois, and the beaten one in the contest as to who should secure the hand of Miss Mary Todd. Lincoln was the winner; Douglas afterwards beat him for the United States Senate, but Lincoln went to the White House.

During all of the time that they were rivals in love and in politics they remained the best of friends personally. They were always glad to see each other, and were frequently together. The disparity in their size was always the more noticeable upon such occasions, and they well deserved their nicknames of "Long Abe" and the "Little Giant." Lincoln was the tallest man in the National House of Representatives, and Douglas the shortest (and perhaps broadest) man the Senate, and when they appeared on the streets together much merriment was created.

Lincoln, when joked about the matter, replied, in a very serious tone, "Yes, that's about the length and breadth of it."

"ABE" RECITES A SONG.

Lincoln couldn't sing, and he also lacked the faculty of musical adaptation. He had a liking for certain ballads and songs, and while he memorized and recited their lines, someone else did the singing. Lincoln often recited for the delectation of his friends, the following, the authors.h.i.+p of which is unknown:

The first factional fight in old Ireland, they say, Was all on account of St. Patrick's birthday; It was somewhere about midnight without any doubt, And certain it is, it made a great rout.

On the eighth day of March, as some people say, St. Patrick at midnight he first saw the day; While others a.s.sert 'twas the ninth he was born-- 'Twas all a mistake--between midnight and morn.

Some blamed the baby, some blamed the clock; Some blamed the doctor, some the crowing c.o.c.k.

With all these close questions sure no one could know, Whether the babe was too fast or the clock was too slow.

Some fought for the eighth, for the ninth some would die; He who wouldn't see right would have a black eye.

At length these two factions so positive grew, They each had a birthday, and Pat he had two.

Till Father Mulcahay who showed them their sins, He said none could have two birthdays but as twins.

"Now boys, don't be fighting for the eight or the nine; Don't quarrel so always, now why not combine."

Combine eight with nine. It is the mark; Let that be the birthday. Amen! said the clerk.

So all got blind drunk, which completed their bliss, And they've kept up the practice from that day to this.

"MANAGE TO KEEP HOUSE."

Senator John Sherman, of Ohio, introduced his brother, William T.

Sherman (then a civilian) to President Lincoln in March, 1861. Sherman had offered his services, but, as in the case of Grant, they had been refused.

After the Senator had transacted his business with the President, he said: "Mr. President, this is my brother, Colonel Sherman, who is just up from Louisiana; he may give you some information you want."

To this Lincoln replied, as reported by Senator Sherman himself: "Ah!

How are they getting along down there?"