Lincoln's Yarns and Stories Part 60

"I sincerely wish war was a pleasanter and easier business than it is, but it does not admit of holidays."

"NEUTRALITY."

Old John Bull got himself into a precious fine sc.r.a.pe when he went so far as to "play double" with the North, as well as the South, during the great American Civil War. In its issue of November 14th, 1863, London "Punch" printed a rather clever cartoon ill.u.s.trating the predicament Bull had created for himself. John is being lectured by Mrs. North and Mrs. South--both good talkers and eminently able to hold their own in either social conversation, parliamentary debate or political argument--but he bears it with the best grace possible. This is the way the text underneath the picture runs:

MRS. NORTH. "How about the Alabama, you wicked old man?" MRS. SOUTH: "Where's my rams? Take back your precious consols--there!!" "Punch" had a good deal of fun with old John before it was through with him, but, as the Confederate privateer Alabama was sent beneath the waves of the ocean at Cherbourg by the Kearsarge, and Mrs. South had no need for any more rams, John got out of the difficulty without personal injury. It was a tight squeeze, though, for Mrs. North was in a fighting humor, and prepared to scratch or pull hair. The fact that the privateer Alabama, built at an English s.h.i.+pyard and manned almost entirely by English sailors, had managed to do about $10,000,000 worth of damage to United States commerce, was enough to make any one angry.

DAYS OF GLADNESS PAST.

After the war was well on, a patriot woman of the West urged President Lincoln to make hospitals at the North where the sick from the Army of the Mississippi could revive in a more bracing air. Among other reasons, she said, feelingly: "If you grant my pet.i.tion, you will be glad as long as you live."

With a look of sadness impossible to describe, the President said:

"I shall never be glad any more."

WOULDN'T TAKE THE MONEY.

Lincoln always regarded himself as the friend and protector of unfortunate clients, and such he would never press for pay for his services. A client named Cogdal was unfortunate in business, and gave a note in settlement of legal fees. Soon afterward he met with an accident by which he lost a hand. Meeting Lincoln some time after on the steps of the State-House, the kind lawyer asked him how he was getting along.

"Badly enough," replied Cogdal; "I am both broken up in business and crippled." Then he added, "I have been thinking about that note of yours."

Lincoln, who had probably known all about Cogdal's troubles, and had prepared himself for the meeting, took out his pocket-book, and saying, with a laugh, "Well, you needn't think any more about it," handed him the note.

Cogdal protesting, Lincoln said, "Even if you had the money, I would not take it," and hurried away.

GRANT HELD ON ALL THE TIME.

(Dispatch to General Grant, August 17th, 1864.)

"I have seen your dispatch expressing your unwillingness to break your hold where you are. Neither am I willing.

"Hold on with a bulldog grip."

CHEWED THE CUD IN SOLITUDE.

As a student (if such a term could be applied to Lincoln), one who did not know him might have called him indolent. He would pick up a book and run rapidly over the pages, pausing here and there.

At the end of an hour--never more than two or three hours--he would close the book, stretch himself out on the office lounge, and then, with hands under his head and eyes shut, would digest the mental food he had just taken.

"ABE'S" YANKEE INGENUITY.

War Governor Richard Yates (he was elected Governor of Illinois in 1860, when Lincoln was first elected President) told a good story at Springfield (Ill.) about Lincoln.

One day the latter was in the Sangamon River with his trousers rolled up five feet--more or less--trying to pilot a flatboat over a mill-dam. The boat was so full of water that it was hard to manage. Lincoln got the prow over, and then, instead of waiting to bail the water out, bored a hole through the projecting part and let it run out, affording a forcible ill.u.s.tration of the ready ingenuity of the future President.

LINCOLN PAID HOMAGE TO WAs.h.i.+NGTON.

The Martyr President thus spoke of Was.h.i.+ngton in the course of an address:

"Was.h.i.+ngton is the mightiest name on earth--long since the mightiest in the cause of civil liberty, still mightiest in moral reformation.

"On that name a eulogy is expected. It cannot be.

"To add brightness to the sun or glory to the name of Was.h.i.+ngton is alike impossible.

"Let none attempt it.

"In solemn awe p.r.o.nounce the name, and, in its naked, deathless splendor, leave it s.h.i.+ning on."

STIRRED EVEN THE REPORTERS.

Lincoln's influence upon his audiences was wonderful. He could sway people at will, and nothing better ill.u.s.trates his extraordinary power than he manner in which he stirred up the newspaper reporters by his Bloomingon speech.

Joseph Medill, editor of the Chicago Tribune, told the story:

"It was my journalistic duty, though a delegate to the convention, to make a 'longhand' report of the speeches delivered for the Tribune. I did make a few paragraphs of what Lincoln said in the first eight or ten minutes, but I became so absorbed in his magnetic oratory that I forgot myself and ceased to take notes, and joined with the convention in cheering and stamping and clapping to the end of his speech.

"I well remember that after Lincoln sat down and calm had succeeded the tempest, I waked out of a sort of hypnotic trance, and then thought of my report for the paper. There was nothing written but an abbreviated introduction.

"It was some sort of satisfaction to find that I had not been 'scooped,'

as all the newspaper men present had been equally carried away by the excitement caused by the wonderful oration and had made no report or sketch of the speech."