Observations on the Mussulmauns of India Part 21

[5] _Sozani_ (_sozan_, 'a needle'), an embroidered quilt.

[6] _Razai_, a counterpane padded with cotton.

[7] _Dopatta_, a double sheet: see p. 26.

[8] See p. 24.

[9] _Dastarkhwan_, see p. 108.

[10] 'Ayishah, daughter of Abubakr, third and best loved wife of the Prophet, though she bore him no child. The tale of the scandal about her is historical, but it is treated as a calumny (_Koran_, xxiv.

II, 22, with Sale's note).

[11] Known as the _burqa_.

[12] Amir Taimur, known as Taimur Lang, 'the lame', was born A.D.

1336; ascended the throne at Balkh, 1370; invaded India and captured Delhi, 1398; died 1405, and was buried at Samarkand. There seems to be no evidence that he introduced the practice of the seclusion of women, an ancient Semitic custom, which, however, was probably enforced on the people of India by the brutality of foreign invaders.

[13] _Dak_.

[14] See p. 32.

[15] _Kabab_, properly, small pieces of meat roasted on skewers.

[16] _Nanbai_, a baker of bread _(nan)_.

[17] _Khir_, milk boiled with rice, sugar, and spices.

[18] _Mutanjan_, a corruption of _muttajjan_, 'fried in a pan'; usually in the form _mutanjan pulao_, meat boiled with rice, sugar, b.u.t.ter, and sometimes pine-apples or nuts.

[19] _Salan_, a curry of meat, fish, or vegetables.

[20] The left hand is used for purposes of ablution.

[21] The Musalman _lota_, properly called _badhna_, differs from that used by Hindus in having a spout like that of a teapot.

[22] _Lagan_, a bra.s.s or copper pan in which the hands are washed: also used for kneading dough.

[23] _Besan_, flour, properly that of gram (_chana_). The prejudice against soap is largely due to imitation of Hindus, who believe themselves to be polluted by fat. Arabs, after a meal, wash their hands and mouths with soap (Burton, _Pilgrimage_, ii. 257). Sir G.

Watt (_Economic Dictionary_, iii. 84 ff.) gives a long list of other detergents and subst.i.tutes for soap.

[24] _Katora_.

[25] The prejudice against the use of tea has much decreased since this book was written, owing to its cultivation in India. Musalmans and many Hindus now drink it freely.

[26] _Dali_, the 'dolly' of Anglo-Indians.

[27] See p. 13.

[28] _Huqqahbardar_.

[29] _Munhnal_.

LETTER XIII

Plurality of wives.--Mahumud's motive for permitting this privilege.--State of society at the commencement of the Prophet's mission.--His injunctions respecting marriage.--Parents invariably determine on the selection of a husband.--First marriages attended by a public ceremony.--The first wife takes precedence of all others.--Generosity of deposition evinced by the Mussulmaun ladies.--Divorces obtained under certain restrictions.--Period of solemnizing marriage.--Method adopted in choosing a husband or wife.--Overtures and contracts of marriage, how regulated.--Mugganee, the first contract.--Dress of the bride elect on this occasion.--The ceremonies described as witnessed.--Remarks on the bride.--Present from the bridegroom on Buckrah Eade.

The Mussulmauns have permission from their Lawgiver to be pluralists in wives, as well as the Israelites of old.[1] Mahumud's motive for restricting the number of wives each man might lawfully marry, was, say his biographers, for the purpose of reforming the then existing state of society, and correcting abuses of long standing amongst the Arabians.

My authority tells me, that at the period of Mahumud's commencing his mission, the Arabians were a most abandoned and dissolute people, guilty of every excess that can debase the character of man: drunkards, profligate, and overbearing barbarians, both in principle and action.

Mahumud is said unvariedly to have manifested kindly feelings towards the weaker s.e.x, who, he considered, were intended to be the companion and solace of man, and not the slave of his ungovernable sensuality or caprice; he set the best possible example in his own domestic circle, and inst.i.tuted such laws as were then needed to restrain vice and promote the happiness of those Arabians who had received him as a Prophet. He forbade all kinds of fermented liquors, which were then in common use; and to the frequent intoxication of the men, were attributed their vicious habits, base pursuits, and unmanly cruelty to the poor females. Mahumud's code of laws relating to marriage restricted them to a limited number of wives; for at that period they all possessed crowded harems, many of the inhabitants of which were the victims of their reckless persecution; young females torn from the bosom of their families and immured in the vilest state of bondage, to be cast out upon the wide world to starvation and misery, whenever the base master of the house or tent desired to make room for a fresh supply, often the spoils of his predatory excursions.

By the laws of Mahumud his followers are restrained from concubinage; they are equally restricted from forced marriages. The number of their wives must be regulated by their means of supporting them, the law strictly forbidding neglect, or unkind treatment of any one of the number his followers may deem it convenient to marry.

At the period when Mahumud issued these necessary laws for the security of female comfort and the moral habits of the males, there existed a practice with the Arabs of forcing young women to marry against their inclination, adding, year by year, to the many wretched creatures doomed, for a time, to all the miseries of a crowded hut; and at last, when tired of their persons or unable to provide them with sustenance, turning them adrift without a home, a friend, or a meal. To the present day the law against forced marriages is revered, and no marriage contract can be deemed lawful without the necessary form of inquiry by the Maulvee, who, in the presence of witnesses, demands of the young lady, 'whether the contract is by her own free will and consent?' This, however, I am disposed to think, in the present age, is little else than a mere form of 'fulfilling the law' since the engagement is made by the parents of both parties, the young couple being pa.s.sive subjects to the parental arrangement, for their benefit as they are a.s.sured. The young lady, from her rigid seclusion, has no prior attachment, and she is educated to be 'obedient to her husband'. She is taught from her earliest youth to look forward to such match as her kind parents may think proper to provide for her; and, therefore, can have no objection to accepting the husband selected for her by them. The parents, loving their daughter, and aware of the responsibility resting on them, are cautious in selecting for their girls suitable husbands, according to their particular view of the eligibility of the suitor.

The first marriage of a Mussulmaun is the only one where a public display of the ceremony is deemed necessary, and the first wife is always considered the head of his female establishment. Although he may be the husband of many wives in the course of time, and some of them prove greater favourites, yet the first wife takes precedence in all matters where dignity is to be preserved. And when the several wives meet--each have separate habitations if possible--all the rest pay to the first wife that deference which superiority exacts from inferiors; not only do the secondary wives pay this respect to the first, but the whole circle of relations and friends make the same distinction, as a matter of course; for the first wife takes precedence in every way.

Should the first wife fortunately present her husband with a son, he is the undisputed heir; but the children of every subsequent wife are equals in the father's estimation. Should the husband be dissolute and have offspring by concubines--which is not very common,--those children are remembered and provided for in the distribution of his property; and, as very often occurs, they are cherished by the wives with nearly as much care as their own children; but illegitimate offspring very seldom marry in the same rank their father held in society.

The lat.i.tude allowed by 'the law' preserves the many-wived Mussulmaun from the world's censure; and his conscience rests unaccused when he adds to his numbers, if he cannot reproach himself with having neglected or unkindly treated any of the number bound to him, or their children. But the privilege is not always indulged in by the Mussulmauns; much depends on circ.u.mstances, and more on the man's disposition. If it be the happy lot of a kind-hearted, good man to be married to a woman of a.s.similating mind, possessing the needful requisites to render home agreeable, and a prospect of an increasing family, then the husband has no motive to draw him into further engagements, and he is satisfied with one wife. Many such men I have known in Hindoostaun, particularly among the Syaads and religious characters, who deem a plurality of wives a plague to the possessors in proportion to their numbers.

The affluent, the sensualist, and the ambitious, are most p.r.o.ne to swell the numbers in their harem. With some men, who are not highly gifted intellectually, it is esteemed a mark of gentility to have several wives.

There are some instances of remarkable generosity in the conduct of good wives (which would hardly gain credit with females differently educated), not necessary to the subject before me; but I may here add to the praise of a good wife among these people, that she never utters a reproach, nor gives evidence by word or manner in her husband's presence that she has any cause for regret; she receives him with undisguised pleasure, although she has just before learned that another member has been added to his well-peopled harem. The good and forbearing wife, by this line of conduct, secures to herself the confidence of her husband; who, feeling a.s.sured that the amiable woman has an interest in his happiness, will consult her and take her advice in the domestic affairs of his children by other wives, and even arrange by her judgment all the settlements for their marriages, &c. He can speak of other wives without restraint,--for she knows he has others,--and her education has taught her, that they deserve her respect in proportion as they contribute to her husband's happiness. The children of her husband are admitted at all times and seasons, without restraint or prejudice; she loves them next to her own, because they are her husband's.

She receives the mothers of such children without a shade of jealousy in her manner, and delights in distinguis.h.i.+ng them by favours and presents according to their several merits. From this picture of many living wives in Mussulmaun society, it must not be supposed I am speaking of women without attachment to their husbands; on the contrary, they are persons who are really susceptible of pure love, and the generosity of their conduct is one of the ways in which they prove themselves devoted to their husband's happiness. This, they say, was the lesson taught them by their amiable mother, and this is the example they would set for the imitation of their daughters.

I do not mean to say this is a faithful picture of all the females of zeenahnah life. The mixture of good and bad tempers or dispositions is not confined to any cla.s.s or complexion of people, but is to be met with in every quarter of the globe. In general, I have observed those females of the Mussulmaun population who have any claim to genteel life, and whose habits are guided by religious principles, evince such traits of character as would const.i.tute the virtuous and thoroughly obedient wife in any country; and many, whom I have had the honour to know personally, would do credit to the most enlightened people in the world.

Should the first wife prove a termagant or unfaithful--rare occurrences amongst the inmates of the harem,--the husband has the liberty of divorcing her by paying down her stipulated dowry. This dowry is an engagement made by the husband on the night of Baarraat[2] (when the bridegroom is about to take his bride from her parents to his own home).

On which occasion the Maulvee asks the bridegroom to name the amount of his wife's dowry, in the event of separation; the young man is at liberty to name any sum he pleases. It would not prevent the marriage if the smallest amount were promised; but he is in the presence of his bride's family, and within her hearing also, though he has not yet seen her;--it is a critical moment for him, thus surrounded. Besides, as he never intends to separate from the lady, in the strict letter of the law, he cannot refrain from gratifying those interested in the honour he is about to confer by the value of the promised dowry, and, therefore, he names a very heavy sum, which perhaps his whole generation never could have collected in their joint lives. This sum would of itself be a barrier to divorce; but that is not the only object which influences the Mussulmaun generally to waive the divorce; it is because they would not publish their own disgrace, by divorcing an unfaithful or undutiful wife.

If the first wife dies, a second is sought after on the same principle which guided the first--'a superior to head his house'. In this case there would be the same public display which marked the first wife's marriage; all the minor or secondary wives being introduced to the zeenahnah privately; they are in consequence termed Dhollie[3] wives, or brought home under cover.

Many great men appear to be close imitators of King Solomon, with whose history they are perfectly conversant, for I have heard of the sovereign princes in Hindoostaun having seven or eight hundred wives at one time in their palaces. This is hearsay report only, and I should hope an exaggeration.[4]

The first marriage is usually solemnized when the youth is eighteen, and the young lady thirteen, or fourteen at the most; many are married at an earlier age, when, in the opinion of the parents, an eligible match is to be secured. And in some cases, where the parents on both sides have the union of their children at heart, they contract them at six or seven years old, which marriage they solemnly bind themselves to fulfil when the children have reached a proper age; under these circ.u.mstances the children are allowed to live in the same house, and often form an attachment for each other, which renders their union a life of real happiness.

There are to be found in Mussulmaun society parents of mercenary minds, who prefer giving their daughters in marriage as dhollie wives to n.o.blemen or men of property, to the preferable plan of uniting them with a husband of their own grade, with whom the girl would most likely live without a rival in the mud-walled tenement; this will explain the facilities offered to a sovereign or n.o.bleman in extending the numbers of his harem.

Some parents excuse themselves in thus disposing of their daughters on the score of poverty, and the difficulty they find in defraying the expenses of a wedding: this I conceive to be one great error in the economy of the Mussulmaun people,--unnecessary expense incurred in their marriage ceremonies, which hampers them through life in their circ.u.mstances.

Parents, however poor, will not allow their daughter to be conveyed from their home, where the projected union is with an equal, without a seemingly needless parade of music, and a marriage-portion in goods and chattels, if they have no fortune to give beside; then the expense of providing dinners for friends to make the event conspicuous, and the useless articles of finery for the girl's person, with many other ways of expending money, to the detriment of the parents' finances, without any very substantial benefit to the young couple. But this dearly-loved custom cannot be pa.s.sed over; and if the parents find it impossible to meet the pecuniary demands of these ceremonies, the girl has no alternative but to live out her days singly, unless by an agent's influence she is accepted as a dhollie wife to some man of wealth.

Girls are considered to have pa.s.sed their prime when they number from sixteen to eighteen years; even the poorest peasant would object to a wife of eighteen.