Manners and Rules of Good Society Part 26

The people who thoroughly enjoy "at home" days are those who have more time on their hands than they know what to do with. The few calls they have to make are soon made, the few friends they have to see are soon seen, occupation they have none, and they are grateful for the opportunity "at home" days offer of meeting their friends and finding a hostess at home.

CHAPTER XXI

COLONIAL ETIQUETTE

Generally speaking, etiquette is followed in the colonies and in India by English men and women very much as in the mother country as regards its principles, rules, and observances. One marked difference occurs in the hours of calling, it is true, they being regulated by climate. In hot climates, the early morning hours, before noon, and late evening hours, after sunset, are, according to the fas.h.i.+on of the place, the chosen hours for calling; but in more temperate climes--resembling our own--the afternoon hours are, as with us, the hours for calling. Again, the rule that residents should call upon new-comers, whether they be visitors of other residents or intending residents, holds equally good both in civilian and military circles alike.

In all colonies and dependencies "Government House" is the centre to which all society gravitates--that is to say, that all new-comers, whether they are to become permanent or temporary residents, providing their social position warrants the action, hasten to make known their arrival by writing their names and addresses in the visitors' book kept at each Government House for the purpose. The object of doing this is to be received at Government House, and thus to obtain an entrance into the society of the place. What follows upon this social observance--it hardly merits the name of civility, such calls being actuated by self-interest in the first instance--depends upon a variety of circ.u.mstances, the position of the caller, and whether the stay is to be permanent or temporary, whether introductions are brought or not, and so on. The invitations extended to them are regulated accordingly. They may be limited to afternoon "at homes"; or receptions, dinners, and dances may be included; or a visit to the summer residence of the Governor and his wife may also be reckoned amongst invitations, as this latter is not an unusual display of hospitality accorded to certain individuals.

=How the Governor of a Colony should be addressed= by his guests depends upon his rank. As he represents the sovereign, it would be quite correct to address him as "Sir," as being the most deferential mode, and Governors as a body rather like to be thus addressed. In the case of a Governor being a knight--a very usual contingency--it would be equally correct to address him as "Sir George," and not as "Sir." When a Governor has not received knighthood, he should be addressed as "Mr.

A----," when it is not desired to be too stiff and formal.

In conversation, when referring to the Governor--he being present--it should not be "The Governor," but "Lord Blank," "Sir George," or "Mr.

A---- said so and so," unless strangers are present, before whom it would seem right to be a little formal.

In addressing a Governor by letter, the envelope should be directed to "His Excellency Sir George Blank," however friendly its contents may be; but when writing to a Governor's wife, it has not been thought right to style her "Her Excellency," but simply "Lady Blank," unless in the case of a Viceroy's wife, as in India or Ireland; but as against this the point was raised some years ago, and it was then decided that the wives of Governors were ent.i.tled to be so addressed.

Colloquially, the members of a Governor's suite refer to both the Governor and his wife as "His" and "Her Excellency," and style them "Your Excellency," and all who approach them officially, being of inferior rank, do likewise; but socially they are seldom so addressed.

=A Colonial Bishop= should not actually be styled "My Lord," or referred to as "The Lord Bishop," if it is desired to be quite correct; but "My Lord" or "The Lord Bishop" is now often used by persons who know it is not the proper style of address, but make use of these t.i.tles, wis.h.i.+ng to be more deferential than scrupulously correct. In writing to a colonial bishop, the envelope should be addressed to "The Right Rev. the Bishop of ----," and the letter commenced "Right Rev. Sir" or "Dear Bishop Blank."

A colonial officer who has received the King's special permission to retain the t.i.tle of "Honourable" which he bore in his colony, is accorded at Court, _i.e._ at a levee, Court ball, etc., the same precedence as a peer's son, who is styled "Honourable," but this does not practically give him any rank or precedence at ordinary social gatherings, where that special grant is unknown or ignored. Also the privilege confers no rank or precedence upon the wife or daughters of a colonial Honourable, just as the wife of a Right Honourable here has no special precedence.

The t.i.tle of Honourable cannot continue to be borne by a retired colonial officer or Legislative Councillor unless it has been specially authorised by the sovereign on the recommendation of the Secretary of State for the Colonies.

CHAPTER XXII

INDIAN ETIQUETTE

It is the custom that those who wish to be invited to Government House (Viceregal House) at Simla, or elsewhere, should, immediately on arrival, write their names in the visitors' book kept for that purpose, and they are sure, if in general society, to be asked to one or more of the receptions held during the season. They are introduced to the Vice-Queen--as the wife of the Viceroy is termed--by one of the _aides-de-camp_ in waiting.

When a lady is the wife of a Government official, it gives her a position in society in India which perhaps she would not otherwise have, and is in itself a pa.s.sport to most functions. Official rank is everything in India.

=As regards attending the Viceregal Drawing-rooms=, they are only held in Calcutta and in the evening. If a lady has been presented at a Court in England, she can attend a Drawing-room in Calcutta; but, if she has not been presented at home, she must be introduced by some other lady who has been presented at the Viceregal Court.

In writing unofficially to the Governor-General of India, it would not be correct to use the t.i.tle of "Viceroy," and the proper superscription is "His Excellency The Right Hon."; or, if a Duke, "His Excellency The Duke of ----"; or, if a Marquis, "His Excellency The Most Honble.

Marquis of ----," etc.

To the wife of a Viceroy the address should be "Her Excellency the d.u.c.h.ess of ----," "Her Excellency The Marchioness of ----," "Her Excellency The Countess of ----"; or "Her Excellency The Lady Blank," if the wife of a Baron.

When addressing a Viceroy or Vice-Queen colloquially or unofficially, "Your Excellency" should not be used in either case. The t.i.tle only in both instances should be employed.

On being introduced to either of their Excellencies, it would be correct to curtsy.

CHAPTER XXIII

GARDEN-PARTIES

Garden-parties are entertainments that are annually given. If the weather is fine, the more enjoyable it is for the guests; if wet, a garden-party resolves itself into a large "at home." In almost every county a series of garden-parties is held by the princ.i.p.al ladies of their respective neighbourhoods during August and September, nothing but absence from home, illness, or some equally good reason being considered sufficient excuse for the non-fulfilment of this social duty.

The county at large expects to be invited at least once a year to roam about in the beautiful park of the lord of the manor, to row on the lake, to play lawn-tennis on the lawn, to wander through the winding paths of the shady, leafy shrubberies, to admire the brilliant hues of the geraniums bedded out on parterre and terrace, or the variegated asters, or the late Gloire-de-Dijon roses, which at the end of August are in their fullest beauty. Then there are the conservatories through which to saunter, and from which to beat a retreat, if the sun is too powerful, into the mansion itself, the reception-rooms being generally thrown open on the occasion of a garden-party.

A garden-party is an occasion for offering hospitality to a wide range of guests--people whom it would not be convenient to entertain save at this description of gathering. Invitations are on these occasions freely accorded to ladies, from the energetic lady of eighty to the little lady of eight.

One great advantage offered by a garden-party is that it is immaterial to what extent ladies are in the majority, and it is a reproach to a county rather than to a hostess if the muster of guests is eighty ladies against twenty gentlemen.

=Invitations to a Garden-party= should be issued in the name of the hostess, and within three weeks to a week of the date fixed. "At home"

cards should be used for this purpose, and the words "and party" should be invariably added after the names of the invited guests.

"Croquet" or "Tennis" should be printed in one corner of the card, the hour, 3 to 7 o'clock, above, the day and the date beneath the name of hostess. "Weather permitting" is seldom written upon the card, and the guests are expected to arrive even though the afternoon should be showery and overcast, and only a thoroughly wet afternoon, with no break between the showers, should prevent their appearing. In the country, ladies think little of a drive of ten miles to attend a garden-party.

=Arrangements for Garden-Parties.=--Garden-parties or croquet-parties are given on different scales of expenditure, and the preparations are regulated accordingly.

When a garden-party is given on a small scale, and the preparations are comparatively few, refreshments should be served in the house. (For the usual refreshments provided, and for the general arrangements, see work ent.i.tled "Waiting at Table," p. 82.)

A good supply of garden-chairs and seats should be placed on the lawn and about the grounds, rugs spread on the gra.s.s for those who sit out, and several sets of croquet provided for players.

At large garden-parties a band is considered a necessary adjunct, and the band of the regiment quartered in the vicinity is usually available for these occasions.

A band gives _eclat_ to an out-door gathering and confers local importance upon it. Apart from this, the strains of a band enliven an entertainment of this description in no little degree. The place where the band is stationed is a rallying-point for the company, and the expense and trouble consequent upon engaging a band are repaid by the amus.e.m.e.nt it affords.

The matter of engaging a military band is generally undertaken by the master of the house, rather than by the mistress, as, in the first place, the consent of the colonel of the regiment has to be obtained as a matter of form and courtesy before the arrangements are completed with the bandmaster.

Conveyance for the band has also to be provided and discussed with the bandmaster, and also refreshments for the bandsmen; and these details are more effectually carried out by a host than by a hostess.

Occasionally a large marquee is erected in which to serve refreshments, but more frequently the refreshments for the general company are served in the house, and only cool drinks dispensed in a tent to the cricketers or lawn-tennis players.

=Cricket-matches= are often the _raison d'etre_ of a garden-party, rendering it popular with both ladies and gentlemen. The cricket-match in this case generally takes place in a field near to the grounds of the mansion, the match commencing about twelve o'clock, and the general company arriving about half-past three, or punctually at four, to witness the finish.

Golf now ranks first amongst fas.h.i.+onable out-door amus.e.m.e.nts with both s.e.xes. Private links are comparatively few, but club links exist in almost every neighbourhood--ladies' clubs, men's clubs, and clubs for both ladies and gentlemen.