Mr. Bingle Part 12

"I think you're quite sensible about it, Mr. Bingle," interrupted Flanders politely. "They say teething is awful."

"That's what they say," said Mr. Bingle, a slight frown of regret on his brow. "Still, I should have preferred--ahem! Yes, yes! Most annoying, I'm told. The nurses seem to know. We began adopting our children as soon as we came into possession of my Uncle Joseph's money.

Up to that time, we had hesitated about having other people's children on our hands and minds. Of course you'll understand that poverty could never have stood in the way of our having children of our own. G.o.d simply did not choose to give them to us. The old saying, 'a poor man for children,' did not work very well in my case. Mrs. Bingle is ten years younger than I. She is a strong, normal woman. I never could understand why--er--and neither could she, for that matter. As soon as we came into this fortune, or, more accurately speaking, after we had returned from our first trip to California and a short visit to Chicago, we adopted Kathleen. She was the daughter of a young woman who--but, never mind. We sha'n't go into that. She was about two years old. At once it occurred to both of us that it would be a fine idea to have a boy to grow up with her. So we called in the stork. He happened to have a splendid, left-over, unclaimed two-year-old boy in stock, so we took him. That was Frederick. Then, a friend of mine--a widower who worked as a bookkeeper alongside of me, chap named Jenkins--died very suddenly, leaving a little girl just under eighteen months of age.

That's how we got Marie Louise. And so it goes, Mr. Flanders, right up to date. Henrietta and Guinevere are almost twins. Six weeks between 'em. They--"

"You mean in respect to age or--"

"In respect to their arrival. Guinevere came much sooner than was antic.i.p.ated, you might say. Little Imogene came the twenty-sixth of last September. She cries a good deal. I am inclined to think she's getting her wisdom teeth."

"Naturally, Mrs. Bingle is keen about the idea. Saves a lot of bother."

"It's got to be such a joy having children in this way, when we please, as often as we like, and being able to determine s.e.x to our own satisfaction, that we really look forward to the arrival of a new one.

There's always the pleasure of picking out blondes or brunettes. We try to equalize as much as possible. I am--or was--a blonde, Mr.

Flanders--quite a decided blonde. Mrs. Bingle is still a brunette."

"And now, may I inquire, do they all regard you as their real father?"

"In a measure. There are times when they look upon me as a sort of truck-horse. But real fathers have told me that that is customary. They call me daddy, if that's what you mean. Once in a while they seem to recollect that there was another man and woman in their lives, but not often. Generally people who used to beat them, I gather. I will say this for our children: they were all thoroughly spanked before they came to us. It takes 'em a long time to get used to not being spanked."

"Do you never punish them?"

"Frequently. If they're bad I have them locked in a closet. We've got a very large closet with windows and other comforts. Usually there are three or four of 'em in at the same time, so they don't mind."

"G.o.d will surely reward you, sir, for being kind to all these poor little kiddies. May I--ahem!--May I express the hope, sir, that some day you may me blessed with--er--"

"No use, sir. Thank you, just the same. It will never happen."

"How many nurses have you in your employ?"

"Four at present. We also have a school-teacher--I mean, a governess.

Excellent young woman. Teaches 'em French and German. Curiously enough some of the children take to foreign languages quicker than the others.

Force says that Reginald is a Hebrew. He was supposed to be Irish."

"Very interesting. All of them strong and healthy?"

"Absolutely. You'd think so if you could see 'em fight occasionally.

They've had the whooping cough and chicken-pox. My doctor is the renowned Dr. Fiddler. You know of him?"

Mr. Bingle proceeded to dilate upon the activities and achievements of Dr. Fiddler. There had been broken arms and prodigious bruises, cuts and gashes of every conceivable character, and in every instance Dr.

Fiddler had performed with heroic fidelity. In the middle of a particularly enthusiastic tribute to the doctor's skill as a fish-bone extractor, Diggs appeared in the doorway, coughed indulgently, and then advanced.

"Beg pardon, sir. Mrs. Bingle says the children are getting nervous.

They happear to be--"

A series of shrill screeches descended the stairway, followed by the sudden slamming of a distant doorway and the instantaneous suppression of bedlam.

"Quite so, quite so," exclaimed Mr. Bingle, springing to his feet.

"Dear me, it is past the hour. Forgive me, Mr. Flanders, but--but I really can't delay the--er--Yes, yes, Diggs, tell Mrs. Bingle that we are all ready. Keep your seat, Mr. Flanders. Don't mind me. I must run upstairs and see if--Quite so, Diggs. They MUST be nervous. Where is Miss Fairweather?"

"She has a 'eadache, sir, and says she can't come down--"

"Stuff and nonsense! It will cure her headache. Send for her, Diggs.

She's our new governess, Mr. Flan--"

"What was the name?" demanded the reporter, p.r.i.c.king up his ears. He leaned forward with a new interest in his lively grey eyes. But Mr.

Bingle was gone, his coat-tails fairly whisking around the heavy portieres.

"Fairweather, sir," supplied Diggs. "Miss Hamy--I mean to say, Amy--Fairweather."

"Good Lord!" fell from the lips of Richard Flanders. Then he proceeded to behave in the most astonis.h.i.+ng manner. He sprang to his feet and grasped the retreating Diggs by the arm, literally jerking that dignified individual back upon his heels. His eyes were gleaming. "Dark brown hair and soft grey eyes? Fairly tall and slend--" The sly grin on the butler's face served to check the outburst. He abruptly subdued his emotions. "Excuse me for grabbing you like that. I--I was just wondering if--"

Diggs had recovered his urbanity. "She is the same Miss Fairweather, sir. I recognise her from your description. It may interest you to hear, sir, that she acted just as queerly as you when I told her that you--"

"What did you tell her?" demanded Flanders, seeing that Diggs hesitated.

"That you had a scar on your thumb, sir. By the way, HAVE you?"

"I have!" exclaimed the young man. "Well, by George! Will wonders never cease? Where is she? You say she isn't coming down--but, of course, not! She couldn't think of it, knowing that I am here. I say, will you--will you see that she gets a message from me? Wait a second. I'll write it now. Just slip a note to her--Great Scott! What's that?"

The house seemed to be clattering down about his head.

"That, sir," responded Diggs, drawing a deep breath, "is the charge of the light brigade. Hinfants in arms, you might say. There's no stopping them now. 'Ere they come."

And down the wide stairway streamed the shrieking vanguard of the Christmas revellers--seven or eight unrestrained youngsters who had s.n.a.t.c.hed liberty from the nurses the instant Mr. Bingle opened the play-room door at the top of the house. Down the steps they came, regardless of stumbles and tumbles--an avalanche of joy.

Diggs, from the doorway, raked the stairway and its squirming horde with an exploring eye.

"She is coming, sir. Fairly tall and slender, sir, and--"

"Good Lord!" gasped Flanders, helplessly. "This is more than I can stand. Diggs, do--do men ever faint?"

There was no reply. Three st.u.r.dy youngsters collided with Diggs. There was nothing he could say--with lucidity.

CHAPTER VII

SEARCHERS REWARDED

Miss Fairweather bowed gravely to Flanders as she pa.s.sed. Diggs observed her closely. He was conscious of a sensation of disappointment. He had counted on a scene--an interesting scene.

Circ.u.mstances justified something more thrilling than a mere nod of the head, his intelligence argued, and it was really too bad to have it turn out so tamely.

Mr. Flanders, looking a trifle dazed and bewildered, contrived to hide his emotions in a most commendable manner. A keener observer than Diggs, however, would have detected a strange pallor in the young woman's smooth cheek and an ominous shadow between her finely pencilled brows. Even Diggs might have observed these symptoms but for the fact that she kept her face rigidly averted. Mr. Flanders, from his position near the door--he seemed to have taken root there--was favoured with no more than a glimpse of the tip of a small ear and the faintest suggestion of a cheek's outline. His own face, entirely visible to Diggs, was scarlet--quite frankly so.

Four nurses appeared, carrying infants. Miss Fairweather a.s.sisted in the task of placing the sleepy-heads in their high-chairs and in the subsequent occupation of entertaining them by means of sundry grimaces and motions, keeping them awake--and quiet--against the arrival of Mr.

Bingle, who, it appears, had gone to his room to subst.i.tute a pair of far from fas.h.i.+onable carpet slippers for the smart pumps he had been wearing. There was a great deal of excitement attending the placing of the children, but it pa.s.sed unnoticed by Mr. Flanders. He was staring hungrily, pleadingly at the unfriendly back of the new governess.