The Goose Man Part 56

The hour was up. The white-haired man turned the last leaf and struck his clenched fist on the paper, while around his leonine mouth there was a play partly of wrath and partly of awe. He said: "The case will be placed on the calendar, you worthiest of all Eleanores, but I am no longer the herald."

He walked back and forth, wrung his hands, and cried: "What structure!

What colourful tones! What a wealth of melody, rhythm, and originality!

What discipline, sweetness, power! What a splendid fellow he is! And to think that a man like that lives right here among us, and plagues and tortures himself! A disgrace and a shame it is! Come, my dear woman, we will go to him at once. I want to press him to my bosom...."

But Eleanore, whose face burned with the feeling of good fortune, interrupted him, and said: "If you do that, you will spoil everything.

It will be much better to tell me what to do. He will become more and more obstinate and bitter, if some ray of light does not soon fall on what he has thus far created."

The old man thought for a while: "You leave the score with me; I'll see what I can do with it; I have an idea," he replied, after a short time had elapsed.

Eleanore went back home full of hope.

The quartette was sent to Berlin, and placed in the hands of a man of influence and discrimination. Some professional musicians soon became acquainted with it and its merits. Professor Herold received a number of enthusiastic letters, and answered them with characteristic and becoming shrewdness. A cycle of sagas was soon afloat in Berlin concerning the habits and personality of the unknown master. It was said that he was an anchorite who lived in the Franconian forests and preached renunciation of all earthly pleasures.

In Leipzig the quartette was played before an invited audience. The applause was quite different from what it ordinarily was in the case of a public that is surfeited with musical novelties.

Thereby Daniel finally learned what had been done. One day he received a letter from the man who had arranged the concert, a certain Herr Lowenberg. The letter closed as follows: "A community of admirers is anxious to come into possession of your compositions. They send you their greetings at present with cordial grat.i.tude."

Daniel could scarcely believe his own eyes; it was like magic. Without saying a word he handed the letter to Eleanore. She read it, and looked at him quietly.

"Yes, I am guilty," she said, "I stole the quartette."

"Is that so? Do you realise, Eleanore, what you have done to me?"

Eleanore's face coloured with surprise and fear.

"You ought to know; probably in the future you will lose interest in such womanish wiles."

He walked back and forth, and then stepped up very close to her: "You probably think I am an idiotic simpleton, a dullard. You seem to feel that I am one of those rustic imbeciles, who has had his fingers frozen once, and spends his days thereafter sitting behind the stove, grunting and shaking every time anybody says weather to him. Well, you are wrong.

There was a period when I felt more or less like that, but that time is no more."

He started to walk back and forth again; again he stopped: "It is not because I think they are too good, nor is it because I am too inert or cowardly, that I keep my compositions under lock and key. I would have to have wheels in my head if I did not have sense enough to know that the effect of a piece is just as much a part of it as heat is a part of fire. Those people who claim that they can quite dispense with recognition and success are liars and that only. What I have created is no longer my property: it longs to reach the world; it is a part of the world; and I must give it to the world, provided, do you hear?

_provided_ it is a living thing."

"Well then, Daniel," said Eleanore, somewhat relieved.

"That is where the trouble lies," he continued, as though he had never been interrupted, "it all depends on whether the piece has life, reality, the essence of true being in it. What is the use of feeding people with unripe or half-baked stuff? They have far too much of that already. There are too many who try and even can, but what they create lacks the evidence that high heaven insisted on its being created: there is no divine _must_ about it. My imperfect creations would merely serve as so many stumbling blocks to my perfect ones. If a man has once been seduced by the public and its applause, so that he is satisfied with what is only half perfect, his ear grows deaf, his soul blind before he knows it, and he is the devil's prey forever. It is an easy matter to make a false step, but there is no such thing as turning back with corrective pace. It cannot be done; for however numerous the possibilities may be, the actual deed is a one-time affair. And however fructifying encouragement from without may be, its effects are in the end murderous if it is allowed to drown out conscience. What I have created in all these years is good enough so far as it goes, but it is merely the preparatory drill to the really great work that is hovering before my mind. It is possible that I flatter myself; it may be that I am being cajoled by fraud and led on by visions; but it is in me, I feel certain of it, and it must come to light. Then we shall see what sort of creature it is. Then all my previous works will have ceased to exist; then I will bestir myself in a public way; I will come out and be the man that I really am. You can depend on it."

Daniel had never talked to Eleanore in this way before. As she looked at him, overcome almost by the pa.s.sion of his words, and saw him standing there so utterly fearless, so unyielding and unpitying, her breast heaved with a sigh, and she said: "G.o.d grant that you succeed, and that you live to enjoy the fruits of your ambition."

"It is all a matter of fate, Eleanore," he replied.

He demanded the quartette; it was sent back to him.

From then on Eleanore suppressed even the slightest sense of discontent that arose in her heart. She felt that he needed cruelty and harshness for his small life in order to preserve love and patience for the great life.

Yes, she prayed to Heaven that she might leave him harsh and cruel.

XVI

"Eleanore is my wife," said Daniel every now and then; he would even stop in the middle of the street in order to enjoy to the full, and preserve if possible, the blessed realisation of this fact.

He always knew it. Yet when he was with Eleanore he frequently forgot her presence. There were days when he would pa.s.s by her as though she were some chance acquaintance.

Then there were other days when his happiness made him sceptical; he would say: "Is it then really happiness? Am I happy? If so, why is it that I do not feel my happiness more fervently, terribly?"

He would frequently study her form, her hands, her walk, and wish that he had new eyes, so that he might see her anew. He went away merely in order that he might see her better. In the night he would take a candle, and go up to her bed: a gentle anguish seemed to disappear from her features, his own pulse beat more rapidly. This was caused by the flame-blue of her eyes.

There is a point where the most demure and chaste woman differs in no wise from a prost.i.tute. This is the source of infinite grief to the man who loves. No woman suspects or can understand it.

It was one day while he was brooding and musing and quarrelling without definite reason, in the arms of his beloved, that the profound, melancholy motif in the first movement of his symphony in D minor came to him. This symphony gradually grew into the great vision of his life, and, many years later, one of his women admirers gave it the modifying t.i.tle of Promethean. The first time the theme sounded in his ears he roared like a wild beast, but with joy. It seemed to him that music was really born at that moment.

He pressed Eleanore so tightly to his bosom that she could not breathe, and murmured between his teeth: "There is no choice left: we have got to remain lifeless and irresponsive to each other's presence or wound one another with love."

"The mask, the mask," whispered Eleanore anxiously, and pointed over to the corner from which the mask of Zingarella, with the dim light falling on it, shone forth like the weirdly beautiful face of a spectre.

Philippina stood before the door, and listened to what they were saying.

She had caught a rat, killed it, and laid the cadaver in the door. The next morning, as Eleanore was going into the kitchen, she saw the dead rat, screamed, and went back to her room trembling with fright.

Daniel stroked her hair, and said: "Don't worry, Eleanore. Rats belong to married life just as truly as salty soup, broken dishes, and holes in the stockings."

"Now listen, Daniel, is that meant as a reproach?" she asked.

"No, my dear, it is not a reproach; it is merely a picture of the world.

You have the soul of a princess; you know nothing about rats. Look at those black, staring, pearly eyes: they remind me of Jason Philip Schimmelweis and Alfons Diruf and Alexander Dormaul; they remind me of the reserved table, the _Kaffeeklatsch_, smelly feet, evenings at the club, and everything else that is unappetising, vulgar, and base. Don't look at me in such astonishment, Eleanore, I have just had an ugly dream; that is all. I dreamt that a miserable-looking wretch came up to me and kept asking me what your name is, and I couldn't tell him. Just think of it: I could not recall your name. It was terribly annoying.

Farewell, farewell."

He had put on his hat and left. He ran out in the direction of Feucht, and stayed the entire day in the open fields without taking a single bit of nourishment except a piece of black bread and a gla.s.s of milk. But when he returned in the evening his pockets were bulging with notes he had jotted down while out there by himself.

He came back by way of the Castle, and knocked at Eberhard's door. Since there was no one at home, he sauntered around for a while along the old rampart, and then returned about nine o'clock. But the windows were still dark.

He had not seen Eberhard for two months. He could still recall the Baron's depression and worry the last time he had talked with him-it was toward the end of March: he had spoken very little at that time and had gazed into s.p.a.ce with remarkably lifeless eyes. He gave the impression of a man who is on the point of doing something quite out of the ordinary if not distinctly terrible.

Daniel did not become aware of this until now; the Baron's troubles, whatever they were, had not occurred to him during the past weeks; he was sorry for having neglected him so.

XVII

When he came home Eleanore was suffering from premature birth pains.

Philippina greeted him with the words: "There is going to be an increase in the family, Daniel." Whereat she burst out in a coa.r.s.e laugh.

"Shut up, you beast," cried Daniel: "How long has she been suffering?

Why didn't you get the nurse?"

"Can I leave the child here alone? Don't growl so!" replied Philippina angrily. She went out for the nurse. In a half an hour she came back with her: it was Frau Hadebusch.

Daniel had a disagreeable feeling. He wanted to raise some questions and make some objections, but Frau Hadebusch's nimble tongue antic.i.p.ated him. She grinned, curtsied, rolled her eyes, and went through the entire category of acquired mannerisms on the part of a woman of her type, and then unloaded her life history: Her duly wedded husband had said farewell to this vale of tears three years ago, and since then she had been supporting, as well as she could, herself and her poor Henry, the idiot, by hiring out as a midwife. She seemed already to have come to an understanding with Eleanore, for when she entered the room, Eleanore greeted her as though she were an old acquaintance.